Adderall: Gets me a little "buzzy", makes it harder to sit still or idly veg, thus improving Task Initiation. Improvements to task initiation waned over time. Doses of 15/15 didn't improve concentration. Doses of 20/20 had me finishing projects across 18-hour sessions.
Suppresses hunger, I forget to eat. Raises heart rate and BP a little, but within acceptable levels. Wasn't allowed to do XR because of weight loss from forgetting to eat. Wouldn't consistently remember to do second dose. Feels more like "rescue" drug than maintenance for me.
Vyvanse: Very mild effects. Mostly improved Task Switching, i.e. I could work on one thing for a while, then swap out or take a break while actually feeling like I'd be able to return to the first thing afterwards. Effect waned over time. EXPENSIVE AS FUCK. Got on the "I'm poor, please give for free" program for a year, but then they axed that in favor of producing a generic. Generic was EXPENSIVE AS FUCK. Not worth it.
Had to fistfight my new meds gal into taking me off everything (which didn't work or DID work but with narsty side effects) so I could start fresh. No, I do not think I will be "managing my symptoms fine" off the meds. Yes, I still want to go off them TEMPORARILY. No, I am not at risk for suicidal ideation or self harm. No, I don't want to go back on the same meds as before, they didn't work, that's why I'm doing all this.
Each step of the process, too ffs. Yes, I am experiencing worsening symptoms. No, I am not experiencing thoughts of suicidal ideation, homocidal ideation, psychosis, or mania. Are you trying to slap me with new diagnoses or are you just bad at describing things in less incendiary terms? No, I don't want to go back on the same meds as before.
they didn't work
that's why I'm doing all this
NO I AM NOT EXPERIENCING THOUGHTS OF---
Ritalin: 10 mg: mild improvements in task initiation, focus, concentration. No noticeable side effects.
20 mg, first half-week: I AM GETTING SHIT DONE WITH NO FATIGUE. Mild concern over whether I can turn the go juice back off. Caffeine on top possibly bad idea.
20 mg, middle week: Can't sleep. Can't really concentrate, either. Less ideal.
20 mg, final half-week: I can no longer happy.
Concerta xr: Ritalin is dead, long live Concerta
18 mg, first day: notably improved task initiation, focus, task switching, lack of brain fog. Not feeling jittery, even with caffeine.
We'll see over the next few days if this is a product of the meds, or of the placebo of Novelty
















