Ask The Void

*You are in a forest and your head hurts. You don’t know where you are. You see a lake, that is completely black and ice cold. There is a candle by it. You hear a faint, disembodied voice.

“I am the void. And you may seek my wisdom”

*you don’t know where the voice is coming from. But it feels oddly comforting.

The void reaches into its mass and pulls the rune out. It watches as a green fog, much the same deep colour as the forest, swirls out of it and whispers its love.

The void holds the rune close to it.

It is so overjoyed.

The space to its void, the day to its night. It’s other half, is finally here.

The void seemed saddened by these woes. 

“unfortunately, this is one of those complicated circumstances where there is no happy ending” 

“If your parents truly are stubborn, than you have to choose which is more important. Your happiness, or theirs.” 

“Perhaps I am not the best one to speak on this matter, as I never had a proper parent.”

“But shouldn’t your happiness be theirs?”

“If they truly love you, should they not be overjoyed that you’re happy as yourself?” 

“You should prioritize your own happiness, Traveller. The right people will be happy that you are” 

“It can be hard to accept, but sometimes people can’t be changed, and you have to accept it and let it go” 

“I hope things work out for you dear traveller” 

The void nods slowly. 

“I understand, dear traveller. At times it can truly feel like you are lying when you are being kind.”

“Have you considered perhaps you have low empathy, or something else that may contribute to this feeling of lying?” 

“Regardless, the fact you are kind anyways speaks volumes of your character”

“You are a kind person, Traveller. I hope one day you can see that for yourself.”

“You are always free to dump your feelings into The Void. I will be here to collect them” 

“I’m going to be honest with you, dear Serpent. I am absolutely abysmal at maths” 

The void tries to think of what a matrix is mathmatically. It’s already gotten a headache. 

“I apologize deeply. I do hope perhaps you figure out the solution to this strange theory.” 

The void blinks slowly at the traveller, as if inspecting them.

“I suppose that would be true. People tend to allow me my privacy and secrecy. But I’ve never not answered a question asked of me”

The void ponders

“I am doing well, although I’m very tired these day’s....”

“My favourite thing to do... would likely be to spend time with my loved ones. A few select people I trust more than anything... second favourite thing would be to talk to travellers here”

“I have experienced so many things in life I’m not quite sure what’s left to do......”

“I think I’d like to travel”

“I’ve told many stories, about a young boy...”

“You see, the young boy was very sickly, and had never seen the outside of the hospital walls until the night he was abandoned, and the night he joined the stars and something changed”

“After that everything was black, for eternity.”

“While it’s better than the bright stark white of hospital tile and fluorescent bulbs, it’s.... lonelier. Without the bustling doctors...”

The void shook its head

“I would like to travel. See more of this world. I haven’t yet, but I think it would be lovely”

The void eagerly consumes your words, and they are silent as soon as they leave your mouth, utterly consumed. 

“I understand this feeling” 

“It’s very easy for me to feel forgotten, when I cease to exist.” 

“but Dear traveller, how could you possibly be forgotten?” 

“You’ve touched peoples lives in such a way, as only you could”

“bits and pieces of you live on within those you’ve met along your travels” 

“So even when you are long gone...” 

“Have you really, truly, died?”

“When 10 years down the road, a young child is taught a silly game, and asks their parents where they learnt it. And they say they learnt it from an old friend. You had taught them at recess in third grade.” 

“You will live on in your actions. You will live in that interaction, as a piece of that person, and now the child, and everybody that child teaches their game to” 

“Traveller, does anybody ever truly die?” 

I'm afraid that I might be broken. I've been struggling with trauma from continual s*xual assault for quite a few years, and I'm scared that I won't be able to ever get over it. I want to be able to hug and cuddle people without feeling sick to my stomach. I want to be able to be comfortable in my body and clothes without being afraid something's going to happen to me. What should I do?

The void thinks to it’s multiple, and the trauma it had endured. It understands these feelings all too well. 

“It is such a horrid thing. That crime...Is worse than any other” 

“It kills you, but in a way that leaves you alive. Wandering this plane like the rotting corpse of who you were before” 

“And like your very soul is violated and dirty” 

“We used to feel that exact way too, when we were young and it was fresh” 

“It does lessen over time. Slowly.” “Sometimes you just need to accept things though. Accept that this is your new normal, and that it is okay to be how you are”  “Therapy will help greatly in your healing process, and help you come to terms with your autonomy” 

“We personally found that body modifications helped immensely. It turned out body into our own. We choose what it looks like, and it is not the same body that was violated.” 

“We hope you find comfort in our words, struggling traveller” 

The void watches the other void seep into it’s reality. 

“It’s such a pleasure to see you as well, Dear void. I do hope your having a lovely day as well, and you are always welcome to join me inside of the lake” 

The void resonates deeply with this travellers sentiment. 

“It is so painful, to love somebody so wholly, but also know that you have hurt them. To also try and hide your hurt from them.” 

“It is such a lonely, isolating experience. Because the one you would typically go to is the one you wish not to harm with your feelings” 

“I say give it time. Time can heal so much. Try your hardest, let them set the boundaries, and if they happen to fade from your life then so be it.” 

“It will hurt for a while, and this feeling may never fade. But it will lessen, and you will be able to move on” 

“You are so brave, Traveller. I wish you the best.” 

The void understands your pain. 

“Unfortunately, mourning is all you can do. Healing takes much time, and time will heal this wound as well. There may be a scar there forever, but it will hurt less.” 

“Avoiding the inevitable will help nothing. Take a deep breath, let yourself feel what you need to feel, and try to move on from it. Life just keeps pushing forward and you will as well” 

“Let yourself feel things. Do not try and get over this too quickly. It’s okay to hurt” 

“absolutely nothing” 

“You are doing nothing wrong. You are doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. You need time for the medication to fully take effects, and medication can not do everything” 

“Unfortunately, sometimes therapy, or other things are necessary to gain the proper coping mechanisms until you are well enough to function on your own” 

“I would recommend looking into those options if they are available to you” 

“If not, perhaps look into CBT? I hear it’s very useful” 

The void hands you an old looking book. It is filled with pages of therapy worksheets. 

The void shakes it’s head. 

“It’s not your time yet. but when your time comes- we will meet. “

Until then you are welcome to sit by the lake and enjoy the silence. Sometimes getting away for a short amount of time can do you some good” 

The void thinks once again about it’s own love. It thinks about it’s Rune, and how it hasn’t spoke to it in so long. It pulls a small rock out of it’s mass, an Inguz inscription printed on the front. The void Coo’s at it before looking back to the traveller.

“I understand completely” 

“It can be so hard...When communication is cut thin.” 

“Unfortunately I have not found a way to simply get over my own feelings...I do not think feelings need to be gotten over” 

“I think it’s okay to feel the way you do. Feelings are neutral, it’s how you act about them that defines who you are” 

“I keep my rune close to me. Perhaps you can get close to your loved one again too”

“I think if you wish too, you should send a letter. The worst that happens is it’s thrown away, and perhaps it’d be appreciated for the holidays” 

The void reaches out it’s hand, and gently takes the stone. It is placed in a grove by the water, with the other trinkets it’s been given. 

“Thank you, Machine. You are so kind to me.” it looks down at the stone and watches the light be absorbed by it. It truly feels a piece of itself is in stone form.

The void looks back to you. 

The void considers this problem, and seems to struggle. 

“This is complicated, because there is no quick fix. This is something that must be worked on, over time.” 

“I recommend you speak with your partner, and try to work towards ways to validate your feelings, and ways to express your love easily.” 

“whether that be a simply ‘ily’ text, or squeezing your partners hand when you’re nearby.”

“Find ways to quietly, subtly, and wordlessly show your love”

“Find out what your partners love language is” 

“You may be told by your partner that you’re loved a thousand times a day, and not even know.”