Questioning Lesbian Journal

Hey guys I want to open this up for people to share this and reply or submit a sign you might be a lesbian or a realization about the past that was an obvious sign. It could be funny ones too. I’ve been seeing some around and they are really eye opening. They really got me thinking about what I am in denial about.

I’ll start and add some that I have seen or in denial about:

1. You have taken an ‘Am I Gay Quiz”

2. You search through hashtags #wlw #saphic

3. You wanted a really close female best friend when you were younger/ now.

4. Dating a guy was scary

5. You thought you would just wait until marriage to have sex and it wasn’t a big deal.

6. You chose what guy to have a crush on.

Like I never want to do anything intimate with a man. I feel like he will judge me

I am just trying to figure out do I not like men because I am a lesbian or because men make me feel so insecure. I feel so gross when I think about a man looking at me. I wonder am I not a lesbian, but just have man anxiety?

When I started going on dates with women I actually felt better about my body because I was soooo attracted to the things on them that I thought I really hated about myself. Dating women healed my disordered eating problems.

I’m just confused if I actually don’t like men or I have the mentality that they are judgey so I am scared to interact with them because I am so insecure.

I still feel like I NEED to date a man to prove to myself I am definitely a lesbian!

The guy from dating app asked for my number. I’m debating on if I will give it to him. That will certainly start my stress and anxiety, but I feel like I need it.

I dated a girl for the 2nd time right after ending things with the last girl bec she hurt me!!!

Things with this 2nd girl didnt end well. She was sooo sweet and nice. We were sooo similar! But then she ran into her exboyfriend and it triggered her that she isnt ready to date bec she isnt over him.

I understood it was just rough how she ended things and what she said before she admitted that was the reason. In the end she was apologetic and we had a very open and mature conversation about life and how she just didnt want to stick around to hurt me.

I am on dating apps and talk to girls here and there. I am currently talking to someone new and the convo is going somewhere. I hope we can meet up.

And actually meant it when she said not responding was not on purpose!!

Ik if she wanted me she would have made it clear.

I have been asking questions for months on here on how to WLW relationships work bec she was just so confusing and distant.

She never communicated and would forget to text me back for days.

I was the only one putting in effort and thought.

She literally did not care about me but I was just sooo desperate to figure things out.

I know I ended it, but I am still in TEARS. I can’t stop crying. I wanted this to work soo badly.

If I was strong enough for a casual relationship I would be fine now! Maybe?

How do casual relationships work? Am I allowed to get upset of they forgot our plans, kinda apologized and then canceled the makeup plans and didnt apologize?

I think about how much fun we had together and I kinda regret my decision.

I need a girlfriend.

I know I deserve to have my needs met and you can’t let people make you feel irrelevant.

But I enjoy her company so I guess if I am getting something out of it is okay right?😭

We aren’t even official so I might as well enjoy? Idk what to accept and what to be understanding about. It isn’t anything bad.

Ugh I don’t feel emotionally connected to this girl yet! I def believe that an emotional connection will come with time spent in person and we have not had many dates! BUT i want to just be cute and mushy over text with her already!! Tell me you miss me ! Tell me you can’t wait to see me! Tell me you miss my kisses! Tell me you can’t wait to cuddle with me again.

Although I haven’t tried to say that stuff, she hasn’t matched my energy with the stuff I do say, so I am not comfortable with that! I want to feel wanted

Ive had another date with the girl I have been talking to and we keep kissing (3 dates where we hav kissed), but I dont feel anything when kissing still! I stressed and wondered if I was asexual, but our date saturday kinda told me I wasnt. Maybe?

We were playing around & flirting and then she told me she gets nervous around me and she likes me. So I hug her from behind and tell her I feel the same way and we shouldnt be nervous anymore.

So I start kissing her neck and lead her a few steps back to the wall and then I kiss her!! We start making out. When im done I kiss her neck more and grab her butt.

It seems like nothing but I reallly cant believe I was able to lead like that. Like something was pulling me towards her to want to touch her?! So I guess I am not asexual?When we cuddle I feel things. But why I dont I feel anything when kissing her!?! I want to enjoy it. Some ppl suggested I might not be attracted to her. But I think I am. 😭😭

I am 23 years old & have never dated a man before. I have been talking to a woman for a few months and we have had a few dates. Things are moving soo slow, but I am enjoying the process. We cuddle and kiss. I feel soo at ease laying next to her to the point I am confused. I dont feel as “wrong” as people made me think being with the same gender should be. Me touching a woman doesnt give me the anxiety just simply crushing on a man gave me. I am experiencing peace being interested in someone. I had sooo much chaotic energy around guys I “liked”.

I say all of that because I still feel straight idk why! Like I cant call myself a lesbian. I still dont know If I like guys or not. I could be bi but I don’t feel good calling myself that.

Lol I don’t feel different. Dating women doesnt feel abnormal to me. Maybe bec I have never dated a man?

I still feel straight. Like a straight girl who likes cuddling with girls? I sound stupid ik. Maybe once I have sex I might feel gay? I guess its denial?