Yeehaw.

This is the first time I've ever had to stop taking commissions altogether--and I hoped I would never have to make this post, but life is relentless and here we are.

For those who don't follow my personal posts, I suffer from MCTD (mixed connective tissue disease) and spina bifida occulta. One or both of these factors has caused my drawing hand to go numb (except for the deep pain inside). I'm used to the pain, pain I can push through. But I can't even feel the pencil in my hand now.

I don't know how to fix this and I have no resources to try.

I hope I wake up one day to find it miraculously fixed; either that or suddenly come up with the thousands of dollars I need for an MRI and CT scan, neurologist appointments, and likely a spinal surgery.

But from what I understand, the effects of spina bifida get worse, not better with time. What I have is called a tethered cord, which means, in layman's terms, that my spine is connected to the outside of my body via a tiny open hole on my lower back.

Unless I have a 20k surgery to fix it, I will continue to lose sensation in my lower body and likely bowel and bladder control. I don't need to explain why this is an unacceptable outcome-- and the *only* chance I have is waiting for the health insurance enrollment period to begin, waiting like a month for it to take effect, and then I'll be only a little less completely fucked

I could make a case for full disability, thus solving my money problems, but I need an MRI first to prove the tethered cord thing. see how we keep going in circles? And how I'm gonna die if it doesn't stop?

Yeah but my main concern at this moment is the numb hand thing. I really need to be able to make art. It's like, the only thing I do. It may be that it's caused by the huge cysts growing on my wrist tendons, pressing against a nerve. But again, I'm sure surgery would be the only solution.

Anyway, I'm sorry I can't do literally the only thing I'm actually good at right now

If you're bummed about that too, please consider donating or sharing this around?

my paypal

$Kelsifur on cashapp

magicbubblepipe on venmo

Y’all have probably noticed I’m back to uploading sporadically—I’m learning how to get things done with a numb hand—but commissions are still beyond my capabilities unfortunately.

Until I’m able to make an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon to remove the cysts or have them aspirated, I’m kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.

That being said, I still very much need any help I can get; we’re struggling—between the decrease in patrons and the suspended commissions we’re missing out on a big chunk of our meager income and it feels like my fault

Please do me a kindness and reblog this for me or maybe check out our etsy shop?

My Paypal

$Kelsifur on cashapp

magicbubblepipe on venmo

cover art by @tripwirealarm

The next installment in our rendition of "idiots to idiots to lovers to idiots." Enjoy, and see y'all again Friday for the next update!!

Caught up? Here's NINE!

It’s here!!! My pride and joy!!! The book @tr33xs​ and I wrote!!!

Buy it here on Amazon as a paperback or ebook!!

Din Reyes is a junior associate at a white-shoe law firm in San Francisco. He only has to survive one more year, and then he can afford to leave the lucrative world of white-collar defense to follow his passion for working as a children’s advocate.

When he has the misfortune of being selected for the team working a case headed by the infamous partner Barrett Fitch, whose cold and ruthless reputation precedes him, Din is expecting his last year at the firm to be his worst yet. Surely, he thinks, everyone is right about Barrett.

Barrett is nothing like Din expected.

Barrett is the softest thing Din has ever known.

For those of you who read this as a fic, the paperback version is an all-new experience that’s been re-edited and tweaked, as well as featuring an entire bonus epilogue! I promise if you liked the fic, you will love this.

You can find it here on Amazon (or amazon.ca, .uk, .de etc).

cover art by @tripwirealarm

Chapter 2 of Simple Math is now live! Read it: here.

Chapter 1 is here, in case you missed it.

Exciting news, there is now a PODFIC for Chapter 1! So if you prefer to listen to your fanfic, you can listen on a one-post delay to the audio version, or you can use it as a refresher before jumping into the current chapter!

Chapter 1 (read by moi) is available: here.