*platonically plows my best friend*

needle zippers are a motherfucker!

holy shit my everything

^^ accurate af

My depraved fantasies… Of putting rude captions on strangers’ photos without their consent

The most out-there fantasy on most of those blogs is, “Images are assumed to be in public domain.”

This is just breathtaking!

No he didn’t. He walked on wrapping paper. Your lizard has no concept of the holiday season and can never help because reptiles don’t feel love.

Odin was a great help good job odin

You are watching never before seen footage from the skeleton war. Please watch at your own discretion

#halloween is coming ITS FUCKING APRIL JOHN

chaofanatic we need this as a particle

uh-huh-honey-all-right

the mmm whatcha say meme will never die because when it dies we’ll have to play mmm whatcha say

“Sleep is for the weak,” i say. my hands are shaking. i can hear colors.   

Smokers are gross sorry you feel offended that I think you’re awful for putting cancer into your body :/ damn I wish I had those problems :/ damn I wish I could carelessly fuck with my health, wouldn’t that be a nice treat

Quick question, who asked?

BTW as an ex smoker, we already know how bad the habit is for us we’re not stupid/oblivious, like we already know it’s killing us and that ppl don’t like us and that it’s not attractive like we go through cycles of intense self-hatred when we try to quit because of the psychological toll of addictions so like can u not shit on someone else’s habit that doesn’t affect you