Hey

We Are the Daughters of the Microbes Who Could Survive in an Oxygen-rich Atmosphere

Imagine being this good at photoshop and using it for evil.

He isn’t evil, he’s just working on genie logic….you need to be REALLY specific

My Very Punctual Wife Gets My Night Worm can also be used to remember the order of the planets in the solar system!

Mercury Venus Pearth Wars Goopiter Maturn Nuranus Weptune

dry humping in its specificity as a term implies the existence of wet humping

listening to a man break up with his partner on the train and the first sentence I heard was "I just don't appreciate you cheating on me six different times, once with my own father."

I was born in the exact right generation I love being an unmarried woman in my twenties with my own bank account and no children