ヘレン

di naman sa dinidisregard ko mga kaibigan ko pero may time talaga na ayaw mo magkwento sa kanila? like gusto mo sa ibang tao na lang??? yung taong walang alam sa mga nangyayare sayo sa buhay mo??? para less drama at para hindi ka na makaabala pa sa mga kaibigan mo??? may time kasi na feeling mo istorbo ka na lang kaya kahit gusto mo mag sabi ng mga hinaing mo sa buhay wag na lang?? alam niyo ba yung ganon??? o ako lang???

I used to be so dedicated when it comes to my craft. Like, before the sun sets I’ve already made some sketches or written lines for my songs. Now, I’m losing touch of the things I love to do. I’m a bit disappointed knowing I can still do them but I’m not as motivated as before. My journals have never been so empty of charcoal and pen strokes. My mind has never been this empty of thoughts and words. I’m empty.

Are we really happy or pretending to be?

i crave intimacy in many forms. i want honesty as a crown. soulful conversations & gutted truths. a connection so telepathic it requires another soul who can feel for the world. someone who can touch my skin into oceans & wild fire. a person who knows how to love me into freedom.

The reason people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go instead of how far they’ve come. You got this shit!

Nothing really lasts does it? Everything starts off great and goes on for some time and you feel all giddy and happy. But then slowly, it stops giving the same vibes. It stops providing a shelter for you. And slowly, you approach the point where it stops altogether. You are left alone with your lonely heart to look for another beginning and another home. So you search and search and you find it all over again. And the cycle repeats. A cycle so vicious yet so comforting that we do not seem to be able to fall out of it. I want to get out of this but I cannot because that short period where everything is so good, is the time my heart aches for. I want to feel that love and comfort again and again, so I keep seeking these temporary journeys. I cannot stop this. And I wish I could.