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faded photographs from february ćć· ćŸč ïč oikawa tooru
content. timeskip! oikawa tooru (20), plays for the japan national team. angst. exes to lovers. slight chatfic.
authors note. was listening to laufey the entire time i was working on this . . . (âïčâ) i miss my boyf (tooru). i also wrote this on the tumblr app + didnât beta read it, so if thereâs any mistakes: please disregard them!
word count. 2.3k
nostalgia hurts worse than any other pain.
you know that because, as you stand in the subway station, people rushing from point a to point b, you feel an indescribable ache in your chest. one that you know cannot be fixed with an antacid or an ibuprofen.
oikawa tooru is plastered on the wall in front of you, promoting some cologne youâll never be able to afford. his hair is perfectly gelled, his skin flawless and shiny. but his smile, his wide, flashy smile â it isnât quite real. it doesnât reach his eyes the way that it should.
behind you, the train whirs to life and rockets down the tunnel, leaving you behind. you canât find it in yourself to care, too entranced by the advertisement. even though itâs only been eight months, heâs so . . . different.
you donât even know how to accurately describe it. like, itâs not just how he looks, but also the air around him. youâre not even looking at him in person and you can tell at least that much.
you miss him, you think. just a little bit, just in moments like this. youâll never admit it out loud. you were the one who broke things off; if you go back now, itâll just make you look like a gold-digger.
your neck hurts from looking up for too long, but you ignore it in favor of keeping your eyes on his. youâre so proud of him â more than he will ever know. you donât even realize youâre crying until a light breeze sweeps through the tunnel, chilling your face. you sniffle, wiping the tears from your cheek as fast as you can.
how embarrassing; crying over your ex-boyfriend in the middle of the subway station. you wrap your arms around yourself as a singular shiver runs down your spine.
you need to turn around and get on the train. you need to go home and feed your cat. you need to shower and do some of the homework thatâs in your bag. you need toâ
âholy shit. y/n?â
the unmistakable voice of matsukawa echoes throughout the tunnel, shaking you to your core. what is he doing here? at this time of night? god, you hope he doesnât bring up tooru.
you wipe at your cheeks again, this time as discreet as possible, and turn to the brunette with a practiced smile. âhi, matsukawa. funny seeing you here.â
if he notices your glossy eyes, he doesnât show it. instead, he smiles back at you, laughing. âyeah. small world.â he pauses, glancing over at the large picture of oikawa staring down at you two, then shakes his head. âuh, how are you? itâs been a while. like, what, seven months?â
âsomething like that,â you nod politely. âiâm good. school is busy, but thatâs not new.â you shrug, pressing your lips together. âhow are you? howâs tâ um, howâs everyone else?â
âweâre good, yeah,â he nods back. his tongue darts out to wet his lips â a nervous tic of his. âiwaâs still in california, partying it up. makki just started a new job . . .â he trails off, eyes darting to the advertisement. âshittykawaâs still annoying as ever.â
you laugh, ducking your head as you do so. âmakes sense,â you say softly, smiling. âis iwaizumi coming back for christmas break at all? i assume not, since most schoolâs are already out.â
âah, yeah. he wanted to, but . . .â he shrugs, shoving his hands in the pockets of his coat. âmoney.â
once again, you nod.
âhe misses you, you know.â
âiwaizumi?â you ask, brows furrowing as you tilt your head. matsukawa shakes his head, and your smile slowly fades as you realize who heâs talking about. âoh.â
âyou shouldââ he cuts himself off, shoulders rising as he takes a deep breath. âyou should call him. or text him. or anything. heââmatsukawa chuckles, âhe never shuts up about you.â
âmattsun,â you say, almost like a warning. âhe doesnât want to hear from me. iâ i broke up with him.â
âyeah, because you wanted him to focus on his career,â he says, brows pinching together. âas you can see by the giant poster of his face, heâs doing pretty good for himself. he made the national team â youngest to ever do it. he has sponsors and heâs the number one setter in the country.â
you bite the inside of your cheek. youâve though about it a couple times; reaching out to him. to say congratulations, to send him a snapchat flashback of a fond memory, just to say hi.
the sound of the next train pulling up vibrates through the air, and you glance over at the tracks, then back at matsukawa. âiâllâ iâll think about it, okay? it was good seeing you, mattsun. let me know if you need anything.â
12:51 pm | you -> tooru. i ran into mattsun yesterday. he told me i should text you, so umm here i am, texting you. hi. read.
youâre not sure whatâs more embarrassing: the fact that you actually took matsukawaâs advice and texted tooru, or the fact that he left you on read.
truly, you should have just ignored matsukawa. said hello, and walked out of the station before he could say anything else. you would have had to walk home, but who cares? that would have been infinitely better than this.
you feel like a second year again, stomach churning as you pace outside of the gymnasium, grip tight on your camera, trying to work up the courage to talk to the captain of the volleyball team.
after staring at your phone for three minutes, waiting for a little bubble to pop up, you groan and flip your phone over â face down, so you donât have to see your reflection.
you busy yourself with homework instead. chewing on your bottom lip, brows pinched together; you drown out everything else and, by the time you finish your assignments, itâs nearly 4 oâclock.
you pick up your phone on instinct, then drop it when you see a notification from tooru. he texted you back. two hours later, but still.
2:58 pm | tooru. -> you sorry i was at practice can we talk in person? at that cafe you like?
3:00 pm | you -> tooru. right now?
3:00 pm | tooru. -> you yeah if youâre not busy
3:03 pm | you -> tooru. okay yeah. iâll be there in a bit
3:03 pm | tooru. -> you great
as you gather yourself together, you try not to think about how tooru remembered your favorite cafe. eight months isnât a long time, and by no means did you forget anything about him, but it still makes your heart flutter a bit.
the walk to the cafe is short and uneventful. you canât calm your nerves, no matter how hard you try. you tell yourself that tooru isnât a stranger; youâve spent countless nights with him, talking about anything and everything under the sun. heâs funny, and heâs smart, and heâs thoughtful, and heâsâ
standing outside of the cafe, staring down at his phone. you feel like you canât breathe. you feel like youâre going to throw up. or cry. or both.
heâs wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, probably because he just got done with practice. his glasses sit low on his nose, his hair is messy, stray pieces framing his face. itâs all so painfully him.
you open your mouth, to call out to him, maybe, but you canât speak. what are you supposed to say to him? sorry i broke up with you so i wouldnât get in the way of your career. iâm still in love with you, by the way?
before you can form your next thought, there are big, brown eyes staring back at you, accompanied by a soft smile. he brings his hand up and gives a small wave, then jogs over to where you stand.
âyou came,â he breathes out.
you bite the inside of your cheek. âyou asked me to.â
he laughs, running a hand through his hair. âdo you wanna go inside? they have cranberry scones, since itâs almost christmas.â he pauses, shrugging. âor we could go on a walk. itâs up to you.â
âa walk sounds nice,â you say with a nod. he turns back the way he came from, and starts walking down the sidewalk. âso, um, how have you been? i saw your ad for that cologne. itâs all over the subway station on third street.â
he glances over at you, his cheeks link. âah, yeah, that. my coach said itâs good that i have brands wanting to work with me, but . . .â he sighs. âi donât know. iâve been okay, though. what about you?â
âgood. iâmâ iâve been good. thanks.â youâre making a point not to look at him. you can feel him look back at you every so often, but your eyes are glued to where the soles of your shoes meet the pavement.
a silence falls over the two of you. not exactly awkward, but not comfortable, either. you sneak a glance over at him, studying his side profile. his eyes are forward, his hands shoved in his hoodie pocket. has he been working out more? his arms look huge, even under his hoodie.
âi missed you,â he says suddenly, avoiding your eyes. âi feel like i went through the five stages of grief when you broke up with me. i wasââ he laughs, âi was really pissed off at first. at you, at myself, at everyone. and then it finally hit me.â he stops walking, just ahead of you, and turns around. âwhy didnât you just tell me you thought you were holding me back? that you broke up with me because you didnât want to be a burden?â
you blink at him, taken aback. you knew he was going to have questions, you just didnât think heâd start asking them five minutes into seeing you after eight months.
âi . . .â you start, but donât finish. you have no idea what to say. what does he want you to say? what will give him closure? âi justâ i didnât want to . . . i didnât want to be any trouble. and i didnât want toââ you sigh frustratedly. ââhold you back. volleyball is the most important thing in your life, andââ
âand you,â he interrupts, brows furrowed. âyou and volleyball are the two most important things in my life.â
you roll your eyes. âyouâre twenty years old, tooru. i appreciate the effort, but you donât mean that. iâm replaceable. the love you feel for volleyball, however, is not.â
âyou made a decision for me without even asking about how iâd feel about it!â he exclaims, almost incredulously. âi love volleyball, yeah, but i loved you, too. and that wasnât going to change just because you thought it would.â
loved. past tense. tooru doesnât love you anymore. what were you expecting? for him to wait eight months? it was a pathetic wish.
you look back down at the ground, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip in a lame effort to not cry. âi think . . .â you mumble hesitantly. âi think this was a mistake.â
âwhat?â
âi shouldnât have even texted you in the first place.â you shake your head, voice cracking as you speak. âiâm . . . iâm sorry, tooru. okay? iâm sorry for breaking up with you, and for suddenly texting you eight months after, and iâm sorry that i wasnât the best girlfriend, and iâm sorryââ
he cuts off your cries by wrapping his arms around you, warm fabric pressing against your tear-stained cheeks.
there is no doubt about it now: you missed him.
your fingers clutch the back of his hoodie, bunching the fabric in your fists as another sob escapes you. itâs humiliating. dramatic, too. but tooru only tightens his hold, one hand settling on the back of your head like heâs afraid youâll disappear if he lets go.
âi think youâre making a scene,â he murmurs into your hair; you can feel him smile against you.
you let out a wet laugh. âyouâre so annoying.â
âthere she is.â
when he leans back â slowly â to look at you, his glasses have slipped down his nose. you reach up to fix them before you can stop yourself.
âsorry,â you whisper, pulling your hand back. âmuscle memory.â
âi wanna get back together,â he blurts out, like he canât keep the words in. his eyes go wide as he processes what he said, and then he blinks. âuh, i mean. do you . . . want to? do youâ do you still . . . love me?â
it would be easier to lie. to make a joke, deflect, tell him youâre not sure. easier to protect yourself with distance and pride and all the same things that got you here in the first place.
instead, you nod once.
his eyes squeeze shut immediately, muttering something that sounds suspiciously close to thank god. then he opens them and says, âokay. great. cool. amazing.â he smiles nervously. âcan you tell iâm trying to be normal about this?â
âyouâre failing.â
âi know.â
you laugh again, and this time it feels like a weight off your back. like something unclenching in your chest.
âcan i kiss you?â he asks. when you simply blink at him, he laughs. âiâm trying out the whole healthy communication thing.â
you reach up, take his face in your cold hands, and kiss him first. he makes a startled sound against your mouth before melting into it completely, hands finding your waist like they still belong there.
when you finally pull back, after a moment or two, both of you are smiling so hard it hurts.
âdoes this mean youâre my girlfriend now? or do i have to make a grand gesture?â
you hum, tapping your chin. âhow grand?â
âiâll get down on one knee right now,â he says, backing away and maneuvering into a lunge. you giggle, shaking your head, and he stands back up, laughing as well.
âiâll be your girlfriend again.â
for once in his life, oikawa tooru is speechless.
it lasts three whole seconds. and then he scoops you off the ground in one smooth motion, spinning you despite your shrieked protests.
ânow whoâs causing a scene?â you shout, squeezing your eyes shut. âtoorâ tooru, haha, put me down!â
âwhy are you face-timing me at two in the morning?â
on the other end of the phone, tooru oikawa smiles, eyes crinkling behind the frames of his glasses. âitâs not two in the morning,â he says, ânot for you, anyway. itâs only two pm in japan.â
you narrow your eyes as him, and he shakes his head with a laugh.
âwhat, a guy canât just call his girlfriend for no reason anymore? jeez. iâve only been gone for two months and the rules are already changing.â
âtooru,â you drawl out, scrunching your nose up. âyou have practice tomorrow. you should be asleep.â
âi canât sleep,â he admits, scrunching his nose back at you. he shifts slightly, chest muscles flexing with the effort. even in the dim light of his bedroom, you can make out the firm lines of his pecs. you roll your eyes at him, and he sighs dramatically. âgod forbid a man miss his girlfriend.â
you stare at the screen for a moment, then let out a sigh. you prop your phone up on the sugar container and turn your attention back to the pan on the stove, pressing your spatula against the piece of bread. âyouâre lucky iâm not at work.â
âyeah,â he hums absentmindedly. âwhatâre you making?â
âgrilled cheese.â you lift the pan, showing him its contents as best as possible, then set it back down. âi didnât feel like making anything too extravagant today.â
âoh, god. that sounds so good. coach has the whole team on this stupid ass diet . . .â he trails off, letting his head fall to the side as he groans. âiâve been eating rabbit food for the last two weeks â iâd kill for that grilled cheese right about now.â
you snort out a laugh, shaking your head. âyouâre so dramatic, tooru. iâve seen your instagram stories; rabbits donât eat rice and steak for dinner.â
he lets out a series of indecipherable words, pitching his voice up an octave to mock you, but then snickers â at himself â and smiles at the phone.
âi miss you,â he mumbles, eyes softening. âi think about you way too much. i donât think itâs healthy. seriously, i might need to see a professional.â
again, you roll your eyes. you turn the stove off, sliding the now finished sandwhich onto a plate, and pick up your phone so you can sit at the table.
âi miss you, too, tooru. tell me about your day while i eat.â
without missing a beat, tooru launches into a rant about his day: how he woke up late because he forgot to plug in his phone last night; how his coach made him run extra laps because he was late; how tomas wouldnât shut up about his forgetful brain; how he thought about you hundreds of times; how he had to ice after practice, because his knees are acting up again; how he went for lunch with some of his teammates and accidentally ordered a really spicy dish, then spent ten minutes in pure pain.
heâs so animated as he talks, you almost forget that itâs two in the morning for him. he looks tired, though. and handsome â black glasses sitting on his nose, brown hair messy from trying to find a comfortable position, freckles scattered across his cheeks from the argentina sun.
it makes you . . . well, not sad, per se, more like melancholic. you understand how big of an opportunity argentina was â is â so you donât fault him for leaving, but . . .
you miss him. you miss waking up next to him, limbs tangled together, arm tingling because of how long tooru has been laying on it. you miss the sound of him humming while making his nasty protein shakes â hell, you even miss the sound of him singing very off-key in the shower. you miss his stupid jokes and the wide grin he gets when you roll your eyes at him.
you get so lost in your own thoughts that you donât realize tooru stopped talking a long time ago. you blink yourself back into awareness and tilt your head when you find him staring at you, a fond smile on his lips. âwhat?â
he shakes his head â as best he can, with it smushed against a pillow. ânothing,â he says. âyouâre just pretty.â
ânow i know youâre tired,â you say with a laugh, pointedly ignoring the way your face heats up. even after two years, his compliments still get to you. âyou should go to sleep.â
he hums out a note, meant to be an agreement, youâre sure.
âiâll stay on the call until you fall asleep, okay? iâll eat my grilled cheese extra quiet, just for you.â
he snorts at you, but reaches past the phone to shut off the lamp on his bedside table. you hear the rustling of his bed sheets, and then a sigh. ââkay, goodnight, babe. i love you and iâll text you when i wake up.â
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AKAASHI KEIJI is reading to you the manuscript he's currently reviewing like a bedtime story.
"Mesmerized, he moved closer to her and leaned for a kiss," he reads and asks you, "Something's missing, don't you think?"
You agree, sitting up to speculate better. "Hmmm...show than tell, I guess."
Keiji stares at you. The light from the lamp shade gives your features a magical warm glow that turns a knot inside his stomach.
He smiles, the sweet kind.
"Show than tell, you say..." He removes his glasses and places it atop the bedside table. In a low voice, he whispers as he touches, "He tucks in strands that stray her face behind her ear." His fingers touch your lobe, giving you tingles. "His hand settles on her cheek, feeling her warmth and softness against his touch."
You gulp, eyes almost closing in the comfort of his hand caressing your face.
A small smirk tugs at the corner of his lips and he leans near, his breathing fans across your lips. "He's dying to have more of her if he could." He inches his nose, nudging against yours and your mouth opens, anticipating him. "And he can't wait any longer."
You suck in a sharp breath and he takes it away with his lips. You feel like magic in his arms while you melt in the kiss. He's taking your breath away and your brain can't make up the right words to narrate the sensation. He releases your lips and tilts your head so he can kiss you deeper. Your hand squeezes the fabric of his shirt, caving in and savoring.
He parts, leaving you panting and yearning.
"Keiji..." you murmur, almost out of breath.
Chuckling, he gives your cheek a swift kiss. "Should I show more?"
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Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where youâre coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.
title: to rebuild a home
pairing: kuroo x f! reader
genre: angst / fluff, post timeskip!
wc: 6.8k
m.list
a/n: companion piece to the original love knows not its depth, from kuroo's perspective.
Kuroo Tetsuro is doing alright.Â
Heâs deftly juggling the roles life has handed him. His tenth wedding anniversary is coming up. Heâs gotten a nice pair of earrings and a reservation at Tokyoâs hottest omakase for you to celebrate. The girls are doing nicely at school - Aikoâs grades are excellent, and Fumikoâs not gotten into any schoolyard fights unlike Bokutoâs trio of sons. His bosses seem happy with him too, paving the way for him to climb the corporate ladder rung by rung. Heâs earned each promotion by burning days in the office, nights in the izakayas schmoozing with his bosses, but itâs worth it, even if it admittedly comes at the expense of being with you and the girls.Â
Itâs a sacrifice he has to make so he can provide you with the fairytale life heâs always promised you. Not that youâve ever complained about the trade-off. Â
âSheâs the best wife and mom I couldâve asked forâ, he tells Kenma, when the former setter asks about you. âI donât know how she does it.âÂ
Kenma frowns. âYou make her sound like a video game character.âÂ
âThatâs cos sheâs amazing -â
âKinda sucks that she pretty much has to juggle a full time job and the kids on her own most of the time.â
âShe manages perfectly wellâ, Kuroo enthuses, oblivious to the barb in his friendâs words. âBy the time I get home, the girls are in bed, the house is clean, and thereâs even a lunch box packed for me each day. Sheâs a rockstar at work too - should be up for a promotion next financial year.âÂ
âHuhâ, Kenma sniffs. âI wonder when she gets a break.âÂ
Kurooâs too distracted by the round of beers thatâs delivered to his table to think deeply about his best friendâs apprehension. When he stumbles through the front door that night, he finds you crouched over the coffee table, frantically typing at your laptop. As expected, the girls are in bed, thereâs nothing out of place.Â
âAll good?â he asks you in passing, his mind already filing the tasks on his plate for tomorrow - organising a publicity event jointly held by the JVA and Bouncing Ball Corporation to introduce new national team members, reviewing the proposed budget for this yearâs international competitions, popping by the under-19 team to see if there are indeed any promising candidates - heâs already one foot in the bedroom, ready to call it a night.Â
He doesnât notice the violets blooming under your eyes.Â
âMm.â You donât look up. âHave a good night.â Â
Kruoo Tetsuro thinks heâs doing alright.Â
Bokuto Kotaro, for some reason, doesnât think so. âMitsuki said youâre lucky youâre not married to her cos sheâll skin you aliveâ, he informs him, as if Kuroo shares his love for women capable of chomping his head off in one bite.
Maybe the Bokutos operate on a different metric - because yes, theyâre the model of egalitarianism with Mitsuki the high powered general counsel for Kenmaâs Bouncing Ball Corporation (based on his referral, he likes to add, cosâ itâs funny to watch Mitsuki growl) and Kotaro the part time coach, full time stay at home dad to his wolfpack of sons, but that doesnât mean his marriage is on the rocks.Â
As a child, he was the unwitting witness to his parentsâ fights, which culminated in his mother walking out of the door, his father crying over a thick stack of divorce papers. His grandparents took him in, gave him stability and love and comfort but he swore to himself heâs never going to put his daughters through that.Â
Sure, itâs been a while since youâve had a night to yourself. The last time he remembers you taking time away from the girls was to go out for dinner with him to celebrate his latest promotion - his conscience stings a little that he canât remember the last time youâve taken a break from everything youâve been doing for him and the girls, but heâll make it up to you once he has time. You always understand.Â
Still, just to be sure, he checks in on you again.Â
âYou alright?â, he reaches for your hand, when he climbs into bed that night.Â
Youâre lying in bed. He should find it odd that youâre still awake at this time of the night, staring up at the ceiling as if thereâs something to be found there, but he falls asleep in the slow seconds, doesn't hear your response. When he wakes, youâve already taken the girls to school. He gets himself ready for work, loops his tie around his neck, grabs his briefcase and the bento youâve so lovingly packed for him, and hops on the train. He runs through his routine like clockwork, but thereâs a niggling feeling that heâs missed something important, possibly something to do with you.Â
Did you say something to him last night?Â
It doesnât matter. He makes a mental note to purchase a spa day for you - but thatâs promptly forgotten when heâs greeted by a flood of emails and an invitation from his boss to go out for drinks that night.Â
Kuroo still thinks heâs doing alright.Â
âYouâre luckyâ, his boss toasts him. âYour wife doesnât complain like mine when I go out drinking, even though I tell her I need to do it for work.âÂ
âSheâs an angelâ, Kuroo replies, quietly bursting with pride. âNever complains.âÂ
âLucky manâ, his boss says. âMy wife is such a nag.âÂ
He misses the last train home that night, drops you a text not to wait up and stumbles around Shibuya trying to find a cab. It must be a busy night because by the time he manages to flag down one, itâs three a.m. and his head is pounding from the excess of alcohol and lack of solid food and water. He fumbles with his keys, almost falls through his front door when the lock gives way. âTadaimaâ, he says out of habit, too-loudly, before his stomach lurches and he has to make a mad dash for the kitchen sink.Â
âTetsuro?âÂ
He wants to respond, but heâs too busy emptying out the contents of his stomach. He shouldnât have woken you up. He shouldnât greet you with a mess for you to clean up. He shouldnât lean so heavily on you that you stagger beneath his weight.Â
He shouldnât do all of that yet he does so anyway. You tuck him, a grown man, into bed.
Tomorrow, heâll apologise. Tomorrow, heâll make it up to you.Â
Tomorrow comes. He wakes up.Â
Youâre gone.Â
Kuroo Tetsuro is not alright.
Heâs ashamed to admit that he doesnât even notice youâve taken off until itâs way past lunch when your mother drops him a text to ask if heâs picking up the girls or if he intends to leave them with her overnight.Â
âWhat dâyou mean?â he texts her, confused. Â
His heart stops when your mother responds to say you dropped off the girls at her place without much of an explanation, an overnight bag slung over your shoulder. You donât pick up your phones, his calls going straight to voicemail. For the first time in forever, he sheepishly asks his boss for urgent leave from work so he can rush home to figure out whatâs going on.Â
You always take your laptop with you, but itâs sitting at home. He knows itâs an invasion of privacy, but he types in your password (his birthday), and your web browser reveals a booking for a ryokan in Hakone, where the both of you honeymooned almost a decade ago. Itâs an hour away by train, far too much time for him to sit and stew in his thoughts. He wonders if youâve become sick of your life with him, whether youâve found someone new, and by the time heâs reached the ryokan and charmed the receptionist to let him into your room, heâs teetering on the edge of giving into his frustration, entertaining thoughts about yelling at you for being so goddamned irresponsible, cos how could you just walk out on him and the girls -
Until you walk in, thankfully alone.Â
It strikes him that itâs the most refreshed heâs seen you look in a very, very long time. Your cheeks are glowing, your eyes sparkle, and thereâs a spring in your step that he hasnât seen since youâve had the girls.Â
Still, he canât help but remain a little peeved. âIâve been calling you all afternoonâ, he informs you. âI was worried.âÂ
He immediately regrets his words as he watches the light die in your eyes.Â
âWere you?â, you ask, as if you were addressing a stranger. âReally?âÂ
âOf courseâ, he frowns, slowly getting up to approach you, concerned when you start to sway. âYouâre my wife and the mother of our girls, of course I care.âÂ
Laughter spills from your lips, an undercurrent of bitterness and contempt thatâs threatening to drag you under before his very eyes. âIf you really cared, youâd have noticed that your wife is brokenâ, you tell him between gasps, your shoulders caving in. âI tried fixing myself with a break, but you canât even give me that.â Â
Heâs starting to realise that things arenât alright at all. You flinch when he takes a step towards you, an action which stabs him clean through his heart because heâs your husband, your Tetsuro, your person. Tea, then, a neutral offering that manages to calm you down enough to take a seat, even if youâre still shaking, falling to pieces while laughing, laughing -
âTell me whatâs wrongâ, he begs. âTell me what I can do to fix you.âÂ
You take a sip of tea. Itâs hot enough to burn you, but you donât seem to notice.Â
âI canât do this anymore, Tetsuro.âÂ
âDonât say thatâ, he snaps, his inner child recoiling because he canât bear to have his girls go through what he went through, wondering if it was his fault, his very existence that caused his parents to split up. âThe girls and I need you -âÂ
You donât seem to hear him.Â
âPrincessâ, he falls back on his pet name for you, rusty from lack of use. âCome back to me.âÂ
Youâre unmoved, your eyes unseeing, deaf to his pleas. Sip after sip, you gulp down scalding tea, each action jerky, mechanical. Frozen, in an impenetrable placidness that he canât read. Youâre sitting right in front of him but youâre not really there at all.   Â
âLetâs talk when youâre back homeâ, he finally says. âHave a good break.âÂ
The immature little boy that still lives in his psyche is still unconvinced that itâs a bad idea to drag you back home with him posthaste, but you asked for a break, and itâs the least he can give to you.
You allow him to roll out your futon for you, to swaddle you in layers of blankets as if that would keep you from falling apart any further. As he kisses your forehead to bid you goodnight and goodbye, he feels the brittleness of your bones, the thinness of your skin beneath his palms and he spends the hour-long train ride home wondering how he managed to look away long enough for you to turn into a shadow of your past self. Â
He goes straight to your motherâs house to retrieve the girls. As penance, he stands at the front door, head bowed, letting your mother yell at him in front of the neighbours for being a useless husband and an irresponsible father. After all, he deserves every word she flings in his face. Heâs just thankful that she doesnât ream him out in front of the girls.Â
âWhereâs mama?â Fumiko mumbles half asleep into his neck. âWant mama.â
He cradles her closer. âSheâll be home tomorrowâ, he tells her, hoping with every fibre of his being that that does not turn out to be a lie. Aiko, older and wiser, just stays quiet, so he forces a smile on his face for her sake. Â
Kuroo Tetsuro is far from okay.
The strain of the day wears on him and heâs sure there are burning emails in his inbox for him to firefight, but thereâs a long list of chores to be done in your absence. The girlsâ school bags need to be packed (in the case of five year old Fumiko) or checked (for ten year old Aiko), their uniforms to be laid out, the laundry sorted and folded. He barely gets any sleep before he has to hop out of bed to throw together a cold breakfast of milk and cereal that makes Fumiko burst into tears and Aikoâs face droops. By the time he shuffles his two cranky children out of the house and into their respective schools, heâs late for work.Â
He meets Bokuto and Kenma for lunch since thereâs no lunch bento waiting for him in the fridge, though he regrets the decision to leave the refuge of his work desk for the boardroom of Bouncing Ball Corporation when Mitsuki joins them and, sharp-eyed as ever, sinks her talons into him.Â
âYou look like shitâ, she says to him as a greeting.Â
âThanksâ, he grounds out. The girls demanded he work their hair into the neat braids they insisted you always do, so bedhead would have to do for him today.Â
âIâve never seen you without hair gel beforeâ, Bokuto marvels. âYou look weird.âÂ
âI had a crap morning, okayâ, he snaps, biting the head off the karaage fish in his store bought bento, which he resents for tasting worse than those you usually make for him. âSo Iâm sorry if I look slightly less than presentable -âÂ
âYou look like a man whose wife just left him - âÂ
Mitsukiâs just stepped right on the wound heâs tried to keep hidden, festering and bleeding beneath his skin, so like an animal lashing out when itâs hurt, Kuroo slaps the table with both palms and snarls.Â
âDonât - donât fucking say that, okay? Sheâs just taking a break. Sheâll come home.â
He canât stand to see the shock and pity on his closest friendsâ faces. âSheâs coming home todayâ, he repeats softly, almost to himself, as if heâs little Fumiko in need of reassurance that the person she needs most in the world hasnât just abandoned her. âItâs gonna be okay.âÂ
Perhaps itâs the maturity that comes with fatherhood, because Bokuto is the first to react. âThatâs right, youâre gonna be okayâ, he soothes, pulling Kuroo into his seat. âKenmaâs gonna call your boss and tell him that youâre gonna spend the rest of the afternoon here to plan some event - â
âSponsorship for the Under-19 team, doneâ, Kenma snaps his phone shut.
âGuys, Iâm fine - âÂ
âPretending everythingâs okay isnât going to help.âÂ
Kuroo deflates. âThanks, Kenma.âÂ
Shelving his worthless pride to lay bare the situation heâs found himself in, that by neglecting his duties as a husband and father, heâs forced you to the brink of a mental breakdown, bad enough that youâve left him - temporarily, he hopes. In the span of a few hours, heâs already found himself at his witâs end, struggling to handle both the demands of the kids and his job, something that he realises heâs left you to bear, alone.Â
âBut I canât figure out why she didnât just tell me she was feeling overwhelmedâ, he says, pulling at a fraying thread in his shirt. âI wouldâve listened. I wouldâve done better.âÂ
âShe shouldnât have to tell you to do your partâ, Mitsuki waves away Bokutoâs desperate gesture for her not to kick a man when heâs already down.Â
âBut I didnât know -âÂ
âYâknow, I really canât stand men like you. You guys are amazing at work, able to anticipate your bossesâ and clientsâ needs. At this point, you donât even need to be told by your bosses to jump, you donât even ask your clients âhow highâ - yet, for some reason, you manage to turn off your brain the minute you walk in through the front door at home.â
 âMaybe I should ask her for a list of things I can help her with -âÂ
Bokuto claps his hand over Mitsukiâs mouth. âEhhh..you might not wanna finish your sentence or Mitsuki might really bite your head off.âÂ
Kuroo winces, snapping his mouth shut.Â
âMaybe you can think of it in a different wayâ, Bokuto says. âInstead of âhelpingâ her - cos thatâs just placing the mental burden on her - at least, I think thatâs the term Mitsuki-chan used when she explained it to me -â the affronted lawyer nods begrudgingly, and beaming, he continues - âyou gotta do your half of the work!â
âLevel upâ, Kenma provides, rather unhelpfully.
âOpen your eyes and use your brainâ, Mitsuki says bluntly, rolling her eyes, though her tone is less sharp.
âWhere do I start?â Kuroo asks.Â
Step one.Â
He picks the girls up from his mother in lawâs place, bears with the lecture thatâs awaiting him, and sheepishly asks them what their mama usually feeds them for dinner and breakfast, making a mental note of it. Tonight, heâll cheat by feeding them gyudon at Sukiya, but he drops by the supermarket to procure the ingredients he needs for tomorrowâs breakfast and a bouquet of pink roses, even though he knows itâs probably too little, too late. He counts himself lucky that Fumiko loves bathtime, only needing supervision to wash and dry her hair, and Aikoâs responsible enough to work through her homework without prompting, but heâs still exhausted by the time they both head to bed.Â
His job doesnât end there. Running through the checklist Mitsuki begrudgingly allowed Bokuto to give him, he surveys the apartment, comparing it against the mental image of how everything was before you left it. Toys scattered, to be put back in place. Dust on floor, to be vacuumed up. A heap of laundry in the basket, to be hung, dried, ironed.Â
Just as he finishes all these tasks, the front door swing opens.Â
âTadaimaâ, you call out, voice hushed.Â
He nearly trips over his feet in his haste to relieve you of your luggage, usher you into a seat by the kitchen counter. âOkaerieâ, he breathes,Â
âThe girls?â you ask.Â
Heâll buy Bokuto lunch next time. âI picked them up from your momâ, he responds. âDonât wake them up, I just put them to bed.âÂ
You peek into their rooms nonetheless. âThanksâ, you say, heading next to the fridge. âBy the way, Iâll pay you back for the hotel room from my own money, donât worry.âÂ
Thatâs the last thing on his mind. Besides, his sin is being a neglectful husband, not a miser. âItâs fine, Iâll cover itâ, he scratches his head, embarrassed that youâre even bringing it up. âI shouldâve realised you needed a break.âÂ
That makes you frown, but you accept anyway. He watches you stack bread, eggs, ham, cheese, and it strikes him that youâre already worrying about the girlsâ breakfast when you look as if you havenât even had your own dinner.Â
âYou havenât had dinner?â he asks.Â
You reply carelessly that youâve had a bento on the train back. You donât even bother to look at him.Â
âIâll take the girls in the mornings from nowâ, he tells you. âSleep in and take a break.âÂ
That gets your attention.Â
âReally?â
He plasters a confident smirk on his face to reassure you that heâs got it all in hand.Â
âOhâ, youâre adorable when youâre confused, but he hates that heâs given you reason to doubt him. âWake me up if you need my help?âÂ
âI wonâtâ, he promises.Â
Itâs time for him to level up. Â
Step two.Â
Heâs not going to lie to himself that he finds it difficult to do even half of what you used to do. Taking over the responsibility of wrangling the girls out of bed and into school, coming home early enough for dinner with you, that requires him to have hard conversations with his boss about not being able to go out for drinks or come in early anymore which probably hurts his chances for his next promotion, forces him to give up an hour or two of sleep, but itâs worth it if it allows you to heal.Â
âDonât expect a gold star for your effortsâ, Mitsuki warned him. âItâs just what you shouldâve been doing before, so itâs time for you to go above and beyond.âÂ
He takes her words to heart. You deserve to go to work well-rested, to wind down at night with a hot bath. Heâll buy a robot vacuum and pour over its manual thatâs thicker than a textbook, do laundry loads while hopping on and off conference calls, wrestle the iron to press down his own shirts.Â
You seem baffled by the sudden shift in the winds, but he just pretends everything is normal. Business as usual. Things are just as they shouldâve been.Â
In his next push to right his wrongs, he organises a Saturday dinner date with you. The girls are packed off with your mother, he makes the reservation, books the cab, compliments your dress. He asks you about your work (tiring), your boss (a micro-manager), the books youâve read recently (nada, zilch). In the uphill battle to keep the conversation from being stilted, he makes a fatal mistake.Â
âWe can make it work if you want to quit your job and stay home full time with the children.âÂ
In his mind, that was a reasonable suggestion to make since you seem to hate your job and boss with a fiery passion. But you stare at him wide-eyed, your initial confusion hardening into anger.Â
âDid the guys at work tell you itâs easier to have a housewife instead of a working wife? Are you saying this because you donât think Iâm a good enough mother to our girls?âÂ
You donât give him a chance to backpedal, shooting a sarcastic apology for being selfish enough to refuse to be reliant on him, so he just slumps back in his chair in defeat.Â
âI just want you to be happyâ, he murmurs. âForget I ever said that.âÂ
Step three.Â
To figure out step three, he schedules an emergency lunch meeting on Monday. The troops convene in Kenmaâs boardroom to listen to his sorry tale with Mitsuki in charge of the postâbattle analysis.Â
âAnd remind me again, where did you two meet?âÂ
His face lights up at the memory of his first meeting with you. âFinance 102â, he replies. âWe used to be academic rivals turned teammates after I convinced her I was smart enough for her to work with on projects.â
âWhat made you fall in love with her?âÂ
âAs much as I hate it, I have to admit sheâs probably smarter than meâ, he says, though the fond smile that creeps onto his face betrays the fact that he loves that about you. âSheâs just - her, sheâs headstrong and funny. Did I tell you how she tried to stab me with her fork when I stole food off her plate -âÂ
âOnly a million timesâ, Kenma interjects.Â
âSheâs always been independent and ambitious, with big dreams and an even bigger heart.âÂ
âWellâ, Mitsuki says, adopting the mildest tone sheâs used on him this month. âDoes that sound like a woman whoâd choose to stay home and depend on her husband? Not that thereâs anything wrong with being a stay-at-home parent - Koutaro makes my career possible, and Iâm the luckiest woman in the world to have him as my husband.â
âBabyyyyy.â Bokuto bawls, looking at MItsuki as if she hangs the moon in the sky.Â
Gross. Kenma seems to agree. âLetâs get back to Kurooâs failing marriageâ,
âSo I shouldnât bring up the suggestion that she quit her job again?âÂ
His three person council shake their heads in unison. âJust keep what youâre doingâ, Bokuto pipes up. âSounds like youâre already doing the right things! Just gotta keep making sure sheâs not holding up the sky herself.âÂ
He can do that.Â
âAnd maybe talk to her?â, Kenma offers.
Thatâs the suggestion that he wants to dismiss right off the bat because heâs too much of a coward to even face the possibility that you might leave him. He doesnât want to become his dad so he resolves to keep his head down and continue pushing ahead with his efforts to prove to you that he can be the husband you deserve, so you wonât wake up one day and decide to walk out on him again.Â
But his subconscious fears force his nightmares into overdrive. Dreams of packed bags and stacks of divorce papers makes him yelp loud enough for you to roll over and shake him awake. Heâs a terrible husband for disturbing your sleep, but in his sleep-dazed state of confusion he just sinks back into the pillow, exhaling a sigh of relief.Â
âThank the gods you havenât left.âÂ
âWhy would I leave?â, you mumble, turning away again. âItâs my home, isnât it.âÂ
He sits up, rubs the nightmares away from his eyes. âI was afraid you left me.âÂ
The silence nearly suffocates him. The sudden need to know exactly where you stand eats away at him and he crawls towards you. âAre you going to leave meâ, he asks, praying to all the gods in the universe that youâll reassure him otherwise.Â
His heart breaks anew when he hears a small sob, buried in the bedclothes. âI donât know, Tetsuroâ, you finally say. âIâm tired of being alone in a marriage when itâs supposed to be us working together.âÂ
âIâm sorry.â Thereâs nothing much he can say.Â
A broken whisper. âIâm tiredâ, you exhale. âI think I deserve better.â
âIâll make it betterâ, he promises.Â
He will. He will.Â
Kuroo Tetsuro is trying his best.Â
He takes a cooking class on the weekends to learn how to prepare bento boxes that are nutritious and easy on the wallet. He takes over the ferrying of Fumiko to her swimming lessons, work on Aikoâs art projects with her. He hires a part time cleaner to pick up the deep cleaning, so you and he have time to take the girls out on weekend outings instead of spending all day on a weekâs worth of cumulated chores. A dishwasher appears in the house. He makes it a game for he and the girls to load and unload dishware each night.Â
âThereâs a networking wine night for finance next Wednesdayâ, he tells you casually. âIâll make sure to be home so you can go, if you want.âÂ
You goggle at him.Â
âGo schmooze so the world knows youâre as amazing as I know you are.âÂ
You trust him enough to leave the girls behind in his care and go. He counts that as a win.Â
Some nights he still canât get home in time for dinner, but he always makes sure heâs home in time for a bedtime story and a goodnight kiss. Aiko avers that at the grand old age of ten, she doesnât need her papa to tuck her to bed anymore, but she sidles into Fumikoâs room everynight and sits in the corner of her little sisterâs bed as the littler girl listens to his tall tales.Â
âI met a princess when I was eighteenâ, he says with a grin when he notices you listening in. âInstead of a crown, she armed herself with a fork, ready to cut down anyone whoâd cross her.âÂ
His heart skips a beat when he hears your voice from the doorway. âDonât be dramaticâ, you interrupt, a small smile growing on your face. âYou were trying to steal my food and didnât stop âtil I stabbed you.âÂ
Fumiko huffs, unhappy that her storyâs being interrupted, but he canât seem to tear his gaze away from you. âYou left it on the table, princess. I consider that fair game.âÂ
âLet âto-san tell the story, kaâsan.â Aiko grumbles.Â
He savours your laughter. It tastes better than the finest wine.Â
âI canât believe I have to fly all the way to Italy just to meet Kageyama-kunâ, he huffs. âAt least Hinata is meeting us there, Iâll revolt if I had to go up to Brazil as well.âÂ
âYou know it canât be helpedâ, you reply. âThe promotional activities planned need your presence, and itâs only for a week.âÂ
âWill you be okay when Iâm gone?âÂ
His fears melt away when you hand him his suitcase, a flask of his favourite tea. âIâve always managed fine. Nothingâs changed.âÂ
His little monsters, realising that heâs about to leave, decide to launch a synchronised attack on him. Aiko throws herself at him in a bear hug. Fumiko yanks at his sleeve demanding a thousand kisses.Â
âYes, well. Iâll be home soon. Please wait for meâ he says to you when the girls finally release him. The expression on your face is unreadable, but you donât pull away when he takes the liberty of taking your hand in his.Â
He feels your heartbeat accelerates. You glance up at him, almost shy. âIâll see you soon.âÂ
Heâs so tempted to call his boss and pretend that heâs too ill to get on that damned flight, but heâs pretty sure that would get him fired. Instead, he calls you and the girls every day, and brings home a luggage full of presents for all of you.Â
When heâs home, he celebrates by putting on the frilliest pink apron heâs ever seen (courtesy of Yaku, who sent it to him all the way from Moscow as a joke) and throwing an elaborate takoyaki party, replete with customised toppings - octopus, cheese and shrimp, which the girls enjoyed even if he burnt the first batch and had to call Fukunaga frantically for tips to rescue the rest. It turns out to be such a success that he makes it a weekly event. Okonomiyaki is next, which he flips with expert confidence on a hot plate to the applause of you and the girls.Â
âItadakimasuâ, you clap your hands together. âIt tastes good.âÂ
He nearly melts into his pan. âThank youâ, he replies. âIt means a lot, coming from you.âÂ
His nights are still plagued by nightmares.
Things are better with you, he likes to think. The violets beneath your eyes are replaced by roses in your cheeks. He hears you humming about the house again. You pick up reading again, the shelves in the house start to groan under the weight of books belonging to the girls and you. Youâre as eager as the girls to go on the next adventure, whether it be a summer night out in the park with sparklers, or a nerf gun battle at home on rainy days.Â
Still, he doesnât know for sure what heâs doing is enough for you and heâs too much of a coward to check. So heâll wake up almost every night, fumble in the dark just to make sure youâre there.Â
Youâre there, until you arenât.Â
Itâs three in the morning. The space beside him is cold and empty.Â
He throws off the blankets, trips on his bed slippers. He crashes through into the living room and oh, there you are - sitting at the dining table, typing furiously at your laptop while mouthing off to yourself about the ridiculous demands your client makes.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â you frown.Â
He walks towards you, trying to discern that youâre real, youâre there, not some trick of the light..Â
âYouâre - youâre still here.âÂ
You nod slowly, eyeing him strangely. âMy boss called and asked me to send out an urgent email. I was just about to go back to bed.âÂ
He exhales, tries to force his trembling heart back into his chest. He thinks heâs doing a good job trying to act nonchalant, smoothing back his frazzled mane of hair, but you see right through him as you always do.Â
âTetsuroâ, you say slowly. âIs everything alright?Â
The truth tumbles out of his mouth. âI thought you were gone.âÂ
Then he hangs his head, looks at his feet, afraid that heâll only see rejection in your eyes. Heâs a pathetic failure of a husband who has a decadeâs worth of sins to make up for, and thereâs no justification for him to selfishly to seek your absolution.Â
It comes anyway, in the form of soft hands pulling him forward.Â
âIâm hereâ, you say, pulling him into your embrace, letting him rest his heavy head in your lap.
He doesnât allow himself to sink into your warmth. âAre you happier now? Are things better for you?âÂ
âYesâ, he hears you say. The tension heâs been carrying around these few months lifts. âThank you, Tetsuro. I appreciate it. I really do. You donât have to work yourself to death - thatâs never what I was asking for. If youâre tired -â
He shakes his head at your suggestion. Heâs got a long way yet before he earns any reprieve.Â
âTetsuro -âÂ
He sits up abruptly, takes your hands in his.Â
âPromise you wonât leave meâ, he pleads. âI know youâve had to carry what mustâve felt like the weight of the entire world on your own, and I donât have any excuse for that.â
âYou donâtâ, you agree.Â
He accepts the blow but he takes comfort that you donât pull away. âI know that now. I know now how fucking hard it was to do it all alone.â
âIt was hard. It was so, so hard, Tetsuro. I became numb to the pain. I donât think I was functioning, I havenât been for a while. For a long, long while.âÂ
âIâm sorryâ, his voice cracks.Â
âI know.â You cup his face in your hands, offers him comfort he doesnât deserve. âThatâs a chapter of our marriage thatâs past, that canât be unwritten. But the past few months have been different. Youâve shown me that youâve changed.âÂ
The first glimmer of sunlight after a long, dark winter. Hope blooms with your smile.Â
âI thinkâ, you say. âI think we can make this work again.âÂ
He stares at you, dumbstruck. Then the fact that youâre giving him another chance dawns upon him, and he crashes forward to rest his head on your shoulder, unashamed to cry tears of relief.Â
âThank youâ, he exhales brokenly. âI wonât fuck this up again, I promise.â
You press a kiss to his forehead, curl up trustingly in his arms. âDonât thank meâ, you laugh. âThank yourself for making me believe in you.âÂ
 He drinks up each drop of your affection, falls asleep in the cradle of your arms.Â
âIs this what flirting is like?âÂ
He wakes up to Aikoâs impertinent question, her hands on hips looking distinctly unimpressed at finding her parents asleep on the sofa, entwined together.Â
âWho taught you that word?â Kuroo asks, aghast that his ten year old daughter even recognises the existence of the opposite gender.Â
Aiko sticks her tongue at him, and heâs too distracted by Fumiko taking a flying leap onto the sofa with them, chattering a thousand miles an hour about whatâs for breakfast and whether they can go to the zoo this afternoon - though he pins his suspicions on Bokutoâs trio of sons.Â
âMonstersâ, he says. âCanât even give your to-san a break to snuggle up to your pretty kaâsan.âÂ
The girls shriek in dismay - Aiko, at being a witness to further gross displays of affection between her parents, Fumiko, at being called a monster despite being a self-proclaimed princess. You prod at the soft flesh between his ribs.Â
âDonât be meanâ, you admonish him.Â
He sniffs, taking the chance to draw you closer. âIâm cranky in the mornings unless I get a morning kiss.âÂ
You snort, swatting at him. âYou make it sound as if kisses contain caffeine.âÂ
The girls giggle, but he protests.Â
âFull of nonsenseâ, you tease, but you kiss him, again and again and again.Â
Things settle into a steady, sustainable pace.Â
You refuse to allow him to bear the weight of the household on his back alone. There are frank conversations to be had about what each of you can realistically handle without burning out. He leads the charge in the mornings, whipping up breakfast with the aid of his two sous chefs, building an expertise in braiding and french twists that could possibly allow him to moonlight as a hairstylist. You, on the other hand, take charge of evening pick-ups, cooking dinners, supervising homework and art projects until he comes home and tags you out.Â
Chores are evenly split. He doesnât allow you to assume the mental load of organising the household by yourself. âWe both have a degree in business managementâ, he likes to remind you, because he now knows that remembering to run errands, scheduling appointments - all of this is work too.Â
You force him to take breaks. If you get to relax with your friends, so should he. âIf you get too stressed, youâll lose your hair and we canât have that.â He yelps when he imagines himself bald and obediently complies when you call Kenma up, talk him into getting him and Bokuto and Akaashi (when heâs feeling less morose about his singlehood) to go for a round of pick up volleyball. âIâm glad you enjoyed yourselfâ, you note wryly when he returns home crowing about how he stuffed an Olympic player with a kill block.Â
âI didâ, he replies, catching your hips to pull you in, cheekily ignoring your complaints that heâs sweaty. âBut I enjoy coming home to you even more.â
âGrossâ, you grumble, but you seem content to remain in his arms.Â
Itâs another small moment he treasures. Life, he learns, is made of moments, both big and small. Heâd made the mistake of only focusing on the big ones - graduation, playing at nationals, the day he was lucky enough to marry you, each of his daughterâs birthdays. Now, though, he cherishes each moment, each second he has with you and the girls, no matter how little, no matter how small.Â
He likes to come into the bathroom each night, leaning his elbow on the edge of the bathtub as you chat to him about your day, luxuriating in the bath he drew for you. You and he take turns to complain about lifeâs inconveniences as you clear emails once the girls have gone off to bed- colleagues who shirk their work, bosses who nitpick overmuch, washing everything down with steaming cups of herbal tea.Â
âAre you happy?â, he asks you, night after night.Â
âMmâ, you say with an impish grin. âIâd be happier if you let me put my toes on your calves.âÂ
âTheyâre freezingâ, he groans but scoots over anyway. âBetter?âÂ
âMuch betterâ, you hum, content. âLife is good.â
Heâs not remiss in planning the big moments too.Â
A year passes quickly to your wedding anniversary. He packs your suitcase, books the train tickets and whisks you back to the ryokan in Hakone, though this time he upgrades you both to their largest suite. âI feel like a princess!â you exclaim, twirling about the room.Â
Your happiness is worth every yen he spent.Â
You spend the day strolling down avenues lined with cherry blossoms, Mount Fuji looming in the backdrop, the evening exchanging heated kisses in the private onsen he booked. Youâre older now, with laughter lines creased into your forehead, grey streaks in your hair, but youâre still the same girl he fell in love with all those years ago.Â
âAnd you couldnât wait âtil we got back to our room?â you smack him.Â
He also loves how thereâs fire burning bright in your eyes, the way it always used to. âYou kissed me first!âÂ
âYou kissed me second!âÂ
âI donât hear you complainingâ, he cackles.Â
You try to shush him, to no avail, as he draws the attention of everyone around him.
âWhat a happy coupleâ, an obaa-san remarks out loud. âThey must be newlyweds.â Â
Well, sheâs not wrong. Youâre as radiant as you were fifteen years ago, his spring bride, but heâs an old man doddering on, hopefully with his edges sanded off with time. âJust your regular old, married coupleâ, he chortles when youâre safely back in the room.Â
âA happily married coupleâ, you reply, serenely sipping your tea. âThat obaa-san definitely got that part right.âÂ
Thereâs a lump in his throat that he canât swallow. âAre you happy?â he manages to ask anyway.Â
âWith you?â Your smile is warm, bright. Always.â
Both of you are doing alright.
a/n: it's been a while, hasn't it.
i've been alright - how are you guys doing?