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I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh...hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

one time at a wax museum i thought one of the tour guides was a wax person cuz they were just standing there not moving so i go up to them like “who the fuck is this supposed to be” then they just looked at me and laughed

who here was on tumblr 4+ years ago

This is such a weird thing to say

me talking to myself in the mirror drunk at 3am

this is one of the greatest jokes this show has ever landed

ok i’ve decided to become abstract. next time you see me, you’ll see a series of colors and have the vague sense you’ve just met somebody

fuck dudes who lie about bread

a bear has learned my furry son can be bought

their girl group choreography is amazing… how do i hire them 

yep hire them!!!!!!!

Her shoe just right for her got dan feet