This took EONS but it was too perfect not to do it
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@quasistarjudgement
This took EONS but it was too perfect not to do it

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Alright ive seen enough
Someone put a blanket over my cage.
the average queer friend group
i actually kind of was not kidding Abt the motherhood thing I am a Muslim and a pretty lackluster one but when I tell you I answered Maghrib adhan and prayed more desperately than I've prayed for anything in a long time, that my aquarium walls don't blow out and that my fish stay safe
girls im living on my own and i have never been this invested in something's health and wellbeing in all my days and nights. these are fully my kids
People going to My Chemical Romance have been warned not to join any ‘parades’ in Glasgow lmao

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I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants
Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections
I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame
the other day my mother said i shouldnt slouch and need to stand up straight because im "not spending 100s of zł on growing tits just to hide them"

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trans men actually have a lot of visibility you just gotta look into any issue affecting exclusively or primarily trans women and you'll see that people loooove platforming trans men when it's at the expense of trans women which to be fair does seem to be their preference a lot of the time but it's fucking surreal and bizarre, like
court decision defending specifically transfems being excluded from from playing on women's teams? no transfems interviewed but here's some trans men we interviewed one of whom just wants to push his new book
panel on the transfem experience? no transfems speaking on it but here's three trans men larping as experts one of whom is just detailing his fetishistic fantasies about them with open contempt for transfem lesbians in particular
in the face of all the backlash against letting trans women play sports with other women, here's a story about a women's team letting a trans athlete on the team! no, trans women still can't play with other women, this is a trans man and we interviewed him while we and he and everyone else pretended it was a progressive cultural victory
ants carry crumb for no reason
spider web is made for no reason
worm tunnel for no reason
flies near poop for no reason
we love these pointless animal
No, they gotta eat. That is the point of all these. Crumb is ant food. Web provide food, like job provide money. worm eat dirt. Flies are weird.
i just asked every scientist and they all said that you arent true here and thats not correct. i dont tolerate disinformations on my page. they do these things for no reason, and thats fine. we love all of them anyways because they are beautiful in their own yucky & terriblw way
So flies aren't weird?
theyre worthless animals which is lovely
the crumbs aren't actually ant food anyway! the ants gather crumbs to feed their domesticated fungus. they have farms. they eat the fungus and bring organic matter for the fungus to eat. and theyre not terrible they're lovely.
(getting REALLY mad) NOOOOOOO!!! THAT'S ONLY LEAFCUTTER ANTS!!!!!! ONLY LEAFCUTTER ANTS DO THAT!!!!!!!! AND THEIR FUNGUS ONLY EATS LEEAAVES!!!!!
Is it strange that I hate OP's post? It's like, strangely anti intellectual and really mean to bugs in a way that seems positive but without any of the substance 😢. Did you ever think of the bug's feelings Aceynk?
these animals are useless and stupid and and thats awesome
I know I'm falling for the obvious Smooth Shark 2.0 bait but I'm not here to tolerate the bug slander even if you think it's "awesome" that they're "useless and stupid".
Ants gather food to feed their colonies.
Spiders make webs to catch bugs
Worms tunnel to get around and also to eat
Flies eat poop and are some of the world's most efficient decomposers.
They are incredibly useful and important to the ecosystem and are on the decline in recent decades exactly because of these attitudes that they are "stupid and useless" anyway you're gonna just clown on me I don't care fucking educate yourself or don't but I'm not here for the misinformation presented as positive nihilism.
i just asked every god and they all agreed and said they only made these creatures for fun and they have no purpose which is really badass if u think about it
Anansi in the corner laughing at incidental spider trolling like
i would only get my tits out for. well. pretty much any girl who asked niceys
i am about to bestow upon you the secret butter technique. i am sorry, but it is french. i am sorry again, this only works with cow butter. i am certain plant based butters wouldn’t work, and alternative animal butters may or may not work
has this ever been you: you have a nicely steamed vegetable, or maybe you want to make the best butter noodles, but you know that if you put butter on those it’ll just melt and you end with kind of greasy noodles or vegetables? don’t you wish it was instead a luscious buttery glaze?
introducing: beurre monté
you will take a small sauce pan, and begin heating it with 1-2 tablespoons of water (use very little water) and bring it to a hard simmer or boil
turn the heat down slightly, and add Butter. how much? however much you dare. (start with 3-4 tablespoons and go from there)
you are going to either whisk Aggressively or you can pick up the saucepan, still holding it over the heat, and swirl aggressively so the butter is skating around the sides of the pan
done correctly, you will have liquid butter that is still emulsified. you have made Butter Sauce. season it with a little salt, and toss whatever you want in it.
if you’re butter splits, i’m sorry. you didn’t agitate it enough to maintain the emulsion, and now you have melted butter.
you can use this knowledge to make other sauces by swapping out the water for another liquid. white wine becomes beurre blanc. red wine is beurre rogue.
you want to CUM? sweat minced shallot in a tiny bit of butter, add white wine and cook it out until it’s reduced by about half. then whisk butter in hard. a few flecks of minced thyme or fennel frond stirred thru, and you eat that with a nice seared fish? or scallop? or even shrimp? wow. you will Nut
your boxed mac and cheese game can also be elevated by cooking your pasta and making a beurre monté first, tossing your pasta in that and adding the cheese packet. wow. hey; you’ll cum
go forth now with this butter secret
five notes?? this is why i don’t tell you all anything

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despite everything, it’s still you (derogatory)
wait hey man wait whoah hey
Yahoooooooooo!!!!