71 Ascends on Wings of Fire

does anyone else have parents who suck in objectively funny ways

im going through some bullshit someones homestuck fankid would experience

level 271 penismancer demonstrating his arcane might

joke i like to make when a baby is crying in public is “we’ve all been there.” We literally have

Trying somno but we both fall fast asleep expecting the other to do something and end up both having a beautiful nights rest

”How come you’ve never seen the Amazon rainforest if you’re from Brazil?” big country

Wait, hold on, I can illustrate it in a funnier way

i’m fixing him [wet squelching noises]

Pulitzer Prize type shit

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal

Was just thinking about this the other day. Yeah I have a favorite seat on the bus (middle of the bus, near the back doors, slightly elevated, facing forward), but I don’t get upset if someone is already sitting there, I just pick one of my other favorite spots. Then I realized that most people probably don’t have a favorite bus seat, let alone a series of backup favorites.

my body knows something that i don’t and i can’t get her to talk to me