fia :]

Oh when you’re near me  I see the world more clearly Hold me and I’ll hold you too I want to spend my time with you. (x)

⭐ A collection of Benverly-Reddie Parallels ⭐ It: Chapter One (2017) | It: Chapter Two (2019) Dir. Andy Muschietti

" I'm here Richie. "

after coming back to derry and reuniting with richie, all of eddie’s old feelings start coming back to him. the butterflies in his stomach he would get when richie laughed, the way his face would grow warm whenever richie told a dirty joke, the way he had always wanted to reach out and hold richie’s hand when they were kids. all at once, they all came flooding back to eddie, along with the realization: i’m in love with him. i always have been.

a part of eddie wants to deny it, that no he’s not in love with richie, he’s just feeling overwhelmed because he’s back in derry and he’s confused, that’s all. but when he goes back to his hotel room that night, he cannot fall asleep, because all that is running through his mind is richie.

he finally comes to terms with his feelings at around 2am and decides that he needs to tell richie because if he doesn’t eddie thinks that his heart might explode from all the love he’s holding in there. but of course he doesn’t want to mess up his confession, so he gets up out of bed, walks over to the desk in his hotel room, grabs a notepad and a pen, and begins writing out what he wants to say to richie.

he works on it all night, until he eventually falls asleep on the table and is woken up far to soon by bill knocking on his door telling him to get up. eddie wakes up, rereads the half-written confession, and pushes it to the side, thinking he’ll need to work on it a little more before telling richie.

but, he never got the chance to finish it. they went into the final battle that day and eddie never came back out. once the remaining losers return to the hotel to gather their things, richie offers to deal with eddie’s room. still slightly numb from what happened, richie trudges into eddie’s room, packing away socks and toiletries, when he notices a notepad on the desk covered in eddie’s handwriting. richie picks it up and scans over the page, but his heart stops when he realizes what it is: a confession. to him.

richie reads the letter, and he can almost hear eddie’s voice in his head as he reads the lines of how eddie felt towards him, how eddie had always felt some kind of feeling towards him, but had only just recently realized what that feeling was. love.

the letter stops halfway through a sentence. eddie never finished it. richie hadn’t even realized he had started crying until his tears start to fall onto the page, smudging the ink. he falls to his knees and holds the paper tightly to his chest and lets out a broken sob. eddie loved him. he loved him. and richie never even heard it from eddie himself, only from a half-written confession.