The Best

(i) You will meet a boy whose lips will taste like raspberries He will ask you to send him pictures of yourself, in your most intimate state Do not do it, he is poison, he will use them for his own pleasure then leave you wondering why you aren’t good enough Your body is beautiful, but your mind is to die for He is insignificant (ii) You will be on the beach one day, a popular girl will point out the stretch marks that delicately lick your hips She will look you in the eyes and laugh Don’t you dare cover them up You are a tiger You have earned your fucking stripes (iii) Do not confuse lust with love You might feel like your insides are melting when he touches your thighs But it will not be worth the pain of you lying on the bathroom floor sobbing at 4am after he finds someone new (iv) Wear your favourite shoes all the time It doesn’t matter if they go with your outfit So what if they’re bright red? If you love them wear them (v) Masturbate Find out what feels good for you Don’t ever be ashamed either You need to find out how to bring yourself to climax So that you can teach him or her just how you like it, don’t waste time (vi) Be polite, but if you don’t like something you have no obligation to go through with it ‘No’ is a complete sentence It does not require justification or explanation (vii) If you meet someone and he cannot come to terms with the fact that hair grows from your legs, your armpits and your vagina then he does not deserve to be within 10ft of you You are under no obligation to shave (viii) Your vagina is supposed to smell like a vagina It is not supposed to smell like a fucking fruit basket If he says he will not go down on you because he ‘does not like the smell’ Direct him to the door Tell him to go and fuck a melon (ix) If you meet a stranger with green hair that sticks up in all the wrong places Listen to them Learn from them, drink in their passion and curiosity (x) Your mistakes do not define you Don’t let them keep you awake at night (xi) You do not need someone else to complete you You are a masterpiece Stop waiting for a boy to come and sweep you off your feet Go on dates, to the cinema, to restaurants It is okay to do things by yourself You need to know how to be content with being alone (xii) Your first and last love should always be yourself.