ೀ ׅ ۫ . ㅇ NAVI

lani | 25 | she/her

一ABOUT ｜二BLOGS l 三FIC RECS | 四MY WORKS | 五A03

五#NOTE 🕊 — reblog’s and comments on my works are highly encouraged and much appreciated! I do not condone any copying, plagiarizing, translating or publishing of my work. All works are mine and are not to be uploaded to any other platform.

synopsis: kissing hyunjin was never just casual

pairing: hyunjin x reader themes: making out (and lots of it), a lil suggestive, slight angst cause it’s me

note: i won’t update my series but i will sit down and write a fic about making out with hyunjin…hmmm ok ‎‎ 𓈒        ⋆           ݁        ₊           ⊹          ۫            ·           ͙         ݁  

The first time it was out of genuine curiosity. 

Y/n hadn't really been kissed. 

She had a peck here and there on the cheek, even one on the lips her junior year of High School. 

But she had never been kissed before. 

Her eyes lingered a little too long on her best friend’s lips. She thought if she should kiss anyone, it should be him. But would he want to kiss her? Y/n’s cheeks flushed at the thought.

Kissing her best friend was messy.

But she also felt safe with Hyunjin. If she messed up he wouldn’t care, he’d just correct her. 

The thought sent a rush of warmth throughout her. 

“No like this,” he’d whisper before adjusting her form during practices. 

Would he speak soft and demanding if he agreed to—no.

She shook her head, closing her eyes.

Hyunjin was right there. She’s needed to stop thinking before—

“You okay?”

Y/n’s eyes fluttered open to meet his.

“Me? Yeah, good,” she squeaked out.

His brows furrowed as he sat up straighter from where he had been reclining against her pillows, the controller falling into his lap.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she shook her head, the heat making its way back to her cheeks. 

“You look flustered.”

Oh how she wanted the ground to swallow her whole. 

“I just—.”

She couldn’t form the words. What if he rejected her? She would never live down the humiliation. 

“Y/n, you can tell me any—.”

“I want you to kiss me.”

They both stared at each other in shock. She felt horrified as Hyunjin just blinked at her. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that! I don’t want to make things weird. I just don’t know how it feels or what to do and I—.”

Hyunjin turned his head, but she didn’t miss the blush on his cheeks.

“You…want me to kiss you?”

Her eyes looked everywhere but at him. 

“Only if you want to. If not I’m sure someone will someday—.”

She couldn’t finish her sentence before Hyunjin had her face in his hands and was kissing her softly. 

Y/n gasped against his lips at the touch. They were soft and hesitant against her own. She let her eyes fall closed at the feeling of Hyunjin’s hands in her hair. She fumbled at first with the rhythm but once his lips slotted against hers, she felt like she was floating. 

Their lips moved, slow and without rush—feeling the shape of each other's lips and both secretly doing their best to memorize it. 

They pulled back, both breathing slow and heavy. Their lips swollen with a kiss that they both worried would change the entire trajectory of their friendship. 

Neither of them spoke for a moment. Y/n’s cheeks heated as she turned away from Hyunjin.

“That was—.”

“Wow.”

Hyunjin’s cheeks shared a twin blush as their eyes met once again. 

They didn’t say anything more, just letting the lingering memory of their lips against one another play on loop as they tried returning to the game they had been playing.

It may have been their first kiss, but it wouldn’t be their last. 

Something shifted in that moment. 

Something that scared them both. 

Their friendship was still as strong as ever, but the new territory they explored together had never been discussed. 

Then one day, Y/n and Hyunjin are attending their youngest friend’s frat party. Jeongin dragged them into a mid-formed circle with pouty lips and pleading eyes. The two friends share a look and Y/n realizes what’s happening all too soon. 

The bottle spins and her heart grows anxious. 

She tries not to look at her best friend as her gaze lazily follows the couple making their way towards the closet.

What if she had to watch Hyunjin go in there with someone else?

She shook her head, what was she thinking? Hyunjin could do whatever he wanted to do. Yeah, they kissed but nothing changed. 

But why did she want to kiss him again? 

She didn’t know if it was because she felt comfortable with him or if it was something more. What she did know was that it felt nice to kiss him. Even if there was no meaning behind it, was it so crazy for her to want that again?

Y/n was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't see the couple emerge from the closet. She didn’t see the bottle spin and it wasn’t until her shoulder was nudged and Hyunjin’s gaze caught hers that she realized what had happened. 

The neck of the bottle pointed towards him and the bottom in her direction.

Y/n’s heart stuttered in her chest. She could refuse him. Or…maybe this would be her second chance at getting to feel his lips on hers again. 

Their friend’s whistle, a low and slurred “mateeee,” coming from Felix who has his arm slung lazily around Hyunjin’s shoulder. 

Hyunjin’s eyes didn’t meet yours as he stood, only holding a hand in your direction to see if you would take it. 

Her fingers intertwined with his, letting him lead her towards the closet that she had seen multiple couples enter. 

Her friends cheered loudly and then it was muffled by the sound of the door closing. 

“Seven minutes you two,” she hears Jake’s slurred accent call from the other side of the door. 

The clock was ticking as her and Hyunjin eyed one another. 

His lips parted and all she could think about was how they had felt against hers. 

“Do you want to—.”

“Yes,” she breathed. 

That’s all it took for Hyunjin to press her into the wall and kiss her. 

It was just like their first time, albeit a little more intense. Hyunjin kissed her in a way she had never been kissed. His tongue gliding softly against hers, his teeth softly biting at her swollen lips. 

She whimpered and he pulled back, concern etched between his brows. 

“Too much,” he asked, his breath hot against her lips.

She shook her head, a wave of embarrassment covering her, “No it—it feels good Jinnie.”

Something darkened in his gaze, whether it be the nickname or the way she looked drunk off of his lips alone—he kissed her again with more fervor. 

She gasped into his mouth as his hands found her sides, a noise leaving him as she tugged at the ends of his hair. 

“You’re gonna make me addicted to you,” he whispered hotly against her mouth. 

“Then we’ll be even.”

She could feel his smirk against her lips, “I don’t think this can be the last time.”

She shakes her head, “I don’t want it to be.”

They were so lost in one another that they didn’t hear the timer beep, or the door open, only pulled apart at a low whistle. 

They turned, eyes wide and breaths ragged as Jisung looked between them.

“Dang…can I join?”

In a flash Hyunjin was separated from her and dragging Jisung away by his ear muttering something about him being a “perv.”

She was thankful for the distraction. 

Gaining composure after the life had just been kissed out of her came with some difficulty, but the lightheartedness they met in the room afterwards eased the tension. 

“He wrecked you,” Yunah laughs as she moves to fix her hair. 

She flushed as she made eye contact with Chan sitting next to her friend, "Actually I think she wrecked him,” he laughs.

Her eyes can’t help but to flicker over to Hyunjin who was still scolding Jisung with an amused Minho sitting in between watching it all. 

His hair was a mess but he still looked perfect. His lips kissed bitten and red as they curled around the words exchanged with Jisung. She didn't miss the flush in his cheeks, all from her, no alcohol, just the remnants of what had conspired between the two of them.

“I hope you both don’t regret it,” Seungmin says casually. 

Those words make her stomach drop. 

Y/n wouldn’t regret it…but would she?

Seungmin’s words followed her for the following weeks. 

Things between her and Hyunjin hadn't changed. 

It was as if the kiss—kisses—never happened. 

Which made her feel at ease. There was no awkwardness. Hyunjin was around just as much if not more. They still joked, they still cuddled, they still had pointless arguments over nothing. 

But nothing shifted in their dynamic. 

Until it did. 

One day, Hyunjin came over, sleepy and frustrated after practice. He used her shower, ate some snacks she always kept stashed for him and crashed onto her bed. 

She had been sitting at her desk, working on some assignments for her internship when she heard the soft call of her name.

Y/n turned, finding Hyunjin sleepily looking at her with his arms outstretched in her direction. 

As if there was an unknown string attaching them, she followed the pull from the chair and into his arms. He sighed, holding her close and slipping a leg over hers. 

She sighed at the smell of him, his body warm from sleep and his fingers drawing lazy circles on her back. 

Hyunjin shifted his head until they were eye to eye. 

Then he leaned in, placing a soft peck on her lips. 

One turned to two, and soon the two were kissing softly. No words uttered between them. Just Hyunjin’s hands cupping her face, his lips lazily moving against hers. 

It was as if this was normal for them. 

The way they so easily fell into one another. It wasn’t heated, it wasn’t slow and careful like their first or filled with heat and passion like their second, it was slow and soft, and Hyunjin’s lips would sometimes miss hers and end up on her chin. He’d kiss her cheek, her jaw, her neck and then he’d fall asleep and she’d follow soon after.

If he was tired, he’d kiss her. 

If he was happy, he’d kiss her.

If he was frustrated, he’d really kiss her. 

That was the mood Hyunjin had arrived in today. A practice set Hyunjin on edge and the minute the door opened his lips were on hers. 

He had her pinned to the door, one of her legs thrown over his hips as they arched into one another. Panting and breathless from the bruising kisses. Drunk off of the taste of his tongue in her mouth and Hyunjin wasn't any better. 

When she pulled back he’d chase after her. His tongue licked so deeply into her mouth that it made her eyes roll. The roughness of it made her toes curl and a spark of heat douse her body. 

The way he kissed her felt so wrong but so right at the same time. 

Hyunjin needed her the way she needed him and it just worked. 

He never failed to check in on her, never forgot to ask if it was okay before capturing her lips in his. 

He didn’t know, but he didn’t need to ask— she was his, and that realization scared her more than she wanted to admit. 

“I just don’t know,” Yunah voiced one day. 

Her dark eyes were concerned as they met yours, “Friend’s don’t kiss Y/n. I think you need to be honest with him.”

“I have been. We’ve set boundaries and rules and—.”

“Not that,” she sighs, “I’m talking about your feelings. You and I both know you don’t just see him as a friend. You need to tell him or this borderline friends-with-benefits thing is going to end up hurting you both.”

Y/n sighed as she collapsed against the couch that night. 

Yunah was right, ever since Y/n had asked Hyunjin to kiss her almost a year ago…things had spiraled more than she thought they would. 

Maybe they should stop. 

She knew friends didn’t kiss but…had Hyunjin ever really been just a friend? 

Y/n would never admit it but she had always felt attracted to him in more ways than friendly. But their friendship was precious to her, and if giving up kissing him meant keeping him in her life then…that’s what she had to do. 

It was a week later when Hyunjin showed up to her apartment, he wasn't standing straight—a goofy smile on his face and the smell of alcohol on his breath. 

While normally she didn’t mind this side of her best friend—the one that led to a giggle infested makeout session atop her bed— her heart had been weighing heavily on her since her conversation with Yunah.

Y/n needed to confess her feelings to Hyunjin, or she needed to put a stop to the kissing.

It wasn’t fair to Hyunjin, not when she was harboring feelings for him. 

Hyunjin leans forward, his blonde hair falling into his eyes that were glistening brighter than the stars, he brushes his lips against hers and it takes everything in her not to fall into the rhythm. 

“Hyunjin,” she says softly, placing her hands on his forearms to stable him, “We need to talk.”

Hyunjin seemed to sober up at that, his smile dropping as he took a step back from her.

”We…need to talk?”

She nodded, moving further into her apartment. Her palms were sweating, the words feeling heavy on her tongue. But she didn’t want to ruin this. She didn’t want to lose him as a friend, but she also didn’t want to lose the feeling of his lips on hers. Didn’t want to lose the breathy sounds that he would make when he kissed her or the soft moments after when he held her. 

He followed her quietly to the couch, his eyes wide and curious as they never left her. She felt like she wanted to cry, he looked so genuinely nervous that it made her heart ache. 

“Hyunjin I—I don’t think you and I should kiss anymore.”

Hyunjin regarded her for a moment, his eyes widening and then a deep frown settled on his lips. 

He leaned back against the couch, running his hands through his hair as he looked everywhere but at her. 

“I mean…if that’s what you want Y/n I’ll respect it but…why all of a sudden?”

She stared at her hands, unable to look at the sadness seeping into his features any longer. 

“I’m just…something has changed and it wouldn’t be right to continue to be with you like that. It’s not fair to you and it wouldn’t be appropriate.”

She risked a glance at Hyunjin, his eyes on her shifting over her face at her words. As if he were waiting for her to say that it was a joke. 

“Something changed? Do you—,” he stopped himself, “Do you have feelings for someone?”

”I—,” she didn’t know what to say. 

But her silence was an answer to Hyunjin, his head hung between his shoulders before he stood defeated. 

“I should go.”

”Hyunjin don’t—.”

”I just need some time. I thought—I guess I don’t know what I thought,” he mumbled the last part before making his way back towards the front door. 

Y/n had a split second to make a decision. Either she came clean, and risked their friendship entirely, or she let him leave. The thought of not knowing when she would see him again was too scary. She had already done horribly with her words, she had hurt the man she loved and—.

Loved. 

She—she loved him. 

And before she could think, the confession came tumbling from her lips. 

“I love you, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin froze, the door cracked slightly. He didn’t move and that’s when the weight of her words crashed down on her. 

“That’s what changed,” she whispered, “This wouldn’t be fair to you because I have feelings for you and I know this is a casual thing for you but—.”

“It was never casual for me.”

She looked up then, catching the glisten of unshed tears in his eyes. He opened his mouth, but for a moment no words came out. 

“When you asked me to kiss you—the first time—I didn’t know what to think,” he confessed, “I had been feeling different towards you then. I didn’t know what it was. I think I even tried to convince myself that it wasn’t love.”

Her eyes widened as he stepped closer, “But you made it so easy to fall for you and knowing what your lips felt like against mine and the way you reacted when I was so close to you—you don’t know half the war I went through not to tell you that I love you. Not only the first time,” he whispered as he closed the space between them, “But every time after that.” 

She felt a tear slip from her eye, one that was kissed away by Hyunjin as he cradled her face so delicately in her hands. “I don’t want to kiss you as ‘just a friend’ anymore Y/n, because you’ve never been just that to me.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling their bodies closer to one another, “Then kiss me like I’m yours Hyunjin, because that’s all I’ve ever been.”

He didn’t hesitate.

Their lips met, soft and hesitant at first and then all of the yearning began to pour into it. Hyunjin held her impossibly close, an arm around her waist and a hand cupping her face as he kissed her deeply. Her hands fisted his shirt, pulling him as close as she could to her. 

He swallowed the sounds she made, letting his tongue glide past her open lips. A soft sound left her as their lips danced. 

“You don’t know what you do to me,” he whispered hotly against her mouth. 

“I have somewhat of an idea,” she half teased, but her breathing was just as heavy and the heat in her cheeks matched that of what was creeping onto Hyunjin’s.

”I’m never letting you go,” he spoke softly, his finger trailing softly down her cheek. 

“I don’t want you too.”

pairings: hyunjin x reader themes: slight angst if you blink, happy endings, they just want to hug dang it

note: in my hyunjin feels so here’s a little blurb

‎‎𓈒        ⋆           ݁        ₊           ⊹          ۫            ·           ͙         ݁  

It wasn’t a secret that Hyunjin wasn’t the biggest fan of hugs or skinship in general, but ever since you had overheard him in the practice room one day, you hadn’t truly realized how much he disliked them.

“I don’t know it just—they feel weird? Like I’m forcing affection I pretend to have and it just makes me uncomfortable.”

The words hurt, but last thing you wanted was to make Hyunjin uncomfortable. So you stopped hugging him and started waving when you met up. If you were upset, you no longer fell into the comfort of his arms or pulled him into yours if he was upset.

It was hard to fight your instincts, but Hyunjin’s comfort was more important.

You don’t notice the sudden changes after you stop. How his eyes are wide as they follow you, how his heart skips a beat when you come close—thinking you’ll wrap your arms around him but you don’t.

You miss the disappointment on his face each time.

One night, you had been hanging out with the others. Hyunjin had been there, as close as he could be to you without touching you. You’d feel the brush of his arm against yours, his chest against your back at one point. But to both of your disappointments, you didn’t lean into it.

His touch comes unexpectedly, his long fingers slipping between yours and the gently tug to pull you away from the others. Hyunjin led you to the secluded balcony, only large enough for two people. The proximity had your heart racing.

“What did I do?”

The words aren’t the only thing that stuns you, but the hurt in his tone.

“What do you mean? You’ve done nothing Hyun,” you say taking a step forward, instinctively reaching out to wrap your arms around his middle but you falter as you retract them to your side.

“That,” he exclaims, gesturing to you. “Why don’t you hug me anymore? Why do you pull away when I’m near you? Have I—I haven’t made you uncomfortable have I?”

There’s a look of dread in his features.

You shake your head, “No Hyun. I thought I was making you uncomfortable so I stopped with the hugging.”

His brows furrow, “You could never make me uncomfortable.”

“But I overheard you and Jisung,” his eyes widened slightly as recognition flashed across his face. “Oh—no Y/n that wasnt about you. I meant people I don’t really know enough to be hugging. I’ve never felt uncomfortable with you hugging me.”

You could feel the weight that had been sitting heavily on your chest begin to lift. Hyunjin was looking at you with worry, as if this were something that would come between the two of you.

He holds his arms out, inviting you in and you can’t help but to finally fall into them after so long.

You both let out a sigh and you hold one another close—as if you both could feel the healing through a simple action. But hugging Hyunjin had never been simple. Not with the butterflies in your stomach and the harsh thud of your heartbeat in your chest.

love in the fast lane 》 track 0.3

pairing: street racer!chan x fem!reader

synopsis: Chan and Y/n are haunted by the ghosts of their past. What happens when a new—yet familiar face shows up in town, turning both of their lives as they knew them upside down.

or; the arrival of a street racer in town has dark secrets of their own coming to light despite trying to hide them from one another

warnings: see masterlist for series warnings

Do NOT copy, plagiarize, translate, rewrite, or repost ANY of my works. If you get inspiration from this fic please give credit. I work hard on these so please respect that.

《 masterlist ← backtrack 》

Once she made sure Chan ate, Y/n left him to his work—wishing him luck on his presentation the following evening.

He promised to reach out to her as soon as it was over and the two of them parted ways with a longing look. One that was never addressed by either of them.

Y/n lets out a breath as she leaves the studio and makes her way down the hall. The two of them had been in a ‘will they won’t they’ dance around one another for years. But Y/n, was starting to think the ‘won’t they’ was becoming more and more likely.

She was content with having Chan as her friend, at least there wouldn’t be any messy feelings to come between them, but a part of her would always long for him.

Sometimes she thought she’d catch him staring at her, but then she just ruled it to be a product of her imagination. She wanted to be seen, really seen, by him.

She just wasn’t sure if that was entirely possible.

Y/n made her way out of the building and out onto the campus. The sun had started to set—painting the sky a deep purple as some of the clouds burned a bright orange.

The air was warm despite the setting sun.

She spotted her car next to the curb, a frown settling on her lips as she recalled Chan’s words.

‘Please, promise me…’ His words had been desperate.

Who was this guy? More importantly, did he have anything to do with Chan’s accident?

The thought left her with a bitter taste in her mouth as she slid behind the wheel.

Her car hummed to life as she turned the key, a soft buzz sounded from her pocket. The screen lit up as it came to view.

A single text—one she had gotten many times.

lino

jagiii i’m going to be late tonight~

Innie thinks he’s got a lead

Y/n couldn’t help but to huff a laugh at the term of endearment. He knew it annoyed her when he called her that and has now resorted to typing it out instead of using English like the rest of his sentence.

Her eyes couldn’t help but to continue rubbing over the second part of his message.

What lead could Jeongin possibly have?

It was already starting to get dark and the last place Y/n wanted to be was at home.

A part of her wanted to follow them to the Pit, to catch a glimpse of the Ghost herself.

But she didn’t want to break her promise to Chan.

She could probably hang out with Chan so long as she didn’t bother him while he prepared. But she knew that he worked better alone. Plus she was exhausted—more than she cared to admit.

With her foot on the pedal, she pulled out onto the street. Making her way back to her and Minho’s apartment.

》〉》〉》〉

Y/n doesn’t know what time it is but she can’t manage to fall asleep. She had taken a shower, ate dinner, and watched the newest episode of their show without Minho.

Which she knew he would not be happy about. But he had been spending late nights out recently so she wasn’t sure when she would finally be able to catch up on it.

When she pulled her tired eyes from the television to her phone, the time read a little after eleven.

It wasn’t unusual for Minho to be out this long—the races usually started around midnight.

For a split second—Y/n missed the adrenaline that a race would bring. Especially when Chan drove. A person doesn’t really fear for someone’s safety until something happens to them.

Chan’s accident had set her world on fire.

She remembers how raw her throat had been from crying, she remembers Minho and Jeongin trying to shield her from the sight of his body being pulled from the car.

The blood.

Sometimes she still sees it on her hands.

Chan hadn’t spoken a word when he woke up in the hospital. He stared at the ceiling, completely out of touch with everything around him.

It wasn’t until she sobbed that Chan had looked over at her and for the first time since he woke—she could see the raw emotion on his face. The movement was small, but Chan stretched out his hand and without a second thought she took it.

It was hard for him to shake her when he got released, not that he had made any indication that her presence annoyed him. Chan lived through the crash, but he never saw himself in the way she had in the aftermath of the crash.

She drove him places, caught him when his knee gave out—even now. He was told that his knee would never fully heal, always leaving him with some pain and weakness.

For someone who got an adrenaline rush from driving, Chan took the news pretty hard. It wasn’t that he wouldn’t ever be able to race again, but the constant push and pull on his leg wasn’t recommended.

A buzz from her phone pulls her from the cruel memories. Y/n thought it was Chan messaging her back about whether or not he was home yet, but it wasn’t him.

It was Minho.

Before she could read the message, her phone rang.

Her finger slid across the screen before bringing her phone to her ear.

“Min? What’s going—.”

“He’s doing it again Y/n,” he breathes through the phone.

“Who’s doing what?”

Y/n feared his next words. It couldn’t—not him. It wasn't.

“Chan he—.”

The roars of engines drown Minho out and her heart falls to her stomach.

A part of her doesn’t need to ask what he’s doing. She shakes her head, despite Minho not being able to see her.

“He’s racing.”

Chan had been doing so good for so long. He had given up that world after his accident, had started back up at school in his late twenties—building a future for himself. One that wasn’t filled with danger around every turn—both figuratively and literally.

But Chan had always been good at it—great even. He was one of the best drivers she had ever seen.

“He has a final tomorrow. He’s—no Min he can’t. Are you sure?”

Minho sighs through the line.

“I thought it might have just been someone who looked like him but…I saw him.”

“No doubt about it,” another voice speaks, recognizing it as Jeongin.

“But he looks…different.”

Y/n felt like she was about to throw up.

“When does the race start?”

“In about 45 minutes. But Y/n dont—.”

She doesn’t listen, hanging up as she slips from her bed. Y/n grabs what she can; a pair of sweats, a hoodie, and slips on some shoes before making her way haphazardly through the apartment as she hurriedly dresses herself.

The air is cooler than it was hours prior. She opens Chan’s contact as she walks, calling but only getting his voicemail. She groans, slamming the door of her car shut as she makes her way inside. She doesn’t waste time typing—opting to record a voice note instead.

“So much for promises Chan. You’re racing against the Ghost? That’s why you told me not to go there huh?”

Her voice cracks but she keeps going.

“Minho and Jeongin better be lying about seeing you there.”

That’s all she says before she’s tossing her phone into the passenger seat and flooring it.

lover.

pairings: hyunjin x fem!reader

themes: friends to possible lovers, angst, hopeful ending, mentions of a break up (not between them), sad hyunjin, sad reader, cried writing this but hyunjin doesn’t get sad endings on my watch

note: yeah so lover messed me up bad and I can’t get it out of my head so enjoy some angst with a hopeful—looking to the future— ending

also happy belated birthday to hyunjin my beloved thank you for for the beautiful gift of your voice and your heart but pls tell me you kissed the brick before you threw it~~

She had never seen something so beautiful in her life—with the exception of the handsome guy standing next to her.

The aurora moved in waves, dancing across the night sky in hypnotizing movements. She wanted to keep her attention on it, but she couldn’t help but to continue to cast worried glances in his direction.

In a few hours, Hyunjin would be twenty-six. A year closer to thirty than he was twenty. The thought had weighed heavily on him. Over the past few weeks, anytime anyone mentioned Hyunjin’s birthday, he didn’t seem at all excited.

If anything, it seemed that he had dreaded the day coming.

Y/n knew his last birthday didn’t have the best lead up. It had tainted the day for him, leaving him with pieces of his heart to have to place delicately back together.

The woman he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with had left him. Had made him to believe that she loved him. But she tore him apart. Broke the man that believed nothing had been wrong between them with six words.

‘It’s you. I can’t do this.’

She had left hastily after that, flying back home to japan and blocking Hyunjin’s number.

It was two days before his twenty-fifth birthday.

That was the first birthday Hyunjin spent alone.

This year, Hyunjin had booked a solo trip to Iceland. He had sheepishly asked Y/n if she wanted to come.

Y/n knew it was still too soon for Hyunjin to put his all into another relationship. Especially since the two of them had been friends for so long. He had insecurities and so did she. In truth, a part of her still loved her ex just as she knew a part of Hyunjin would always love his.

With this in mind, they had agreed to go slow.

But looking at him now, the sadness in his eyes as he watched the light dance across the sky made her heart ache.

Hyunjin seemed to feel her stare, his dark eyes softening as he turned his gaze towards her.

His nose was starting to turn pink, lips swollen from where he had been licking them due to the chilled air continuously drying them out.

His eyes stayed on hers, until he couldn’t bear it anymore and let them fall to the snow covered deck beneath them.

“Talk to me Hyun.”

Hyunjin had never really let himself cry all that much around her. She understood it was a vulnerability thing and in truth, she preferred not to cry around him either.

But when he looked back up at her, eyes welling with tears—her heart ached.

She knew that pain. A year wasn’t near enough time to get over a betrayal like that. Y/n knew that herself all too well.

With their height difference, she couldn’t quite pull him into the hug she had wanted to. Hyunjin, who wasn’t normally fond of hugs or touch at all—melted into her. His arms wrapped around her, hands gripping onto her as if she would disappear at any moment and become mere smoke between his fingers.

A small sound escaped him as he stifled a sob, but she could feel the way his body shook against hers.

“I know Hyunjin. I know and I’m so sorry.”

He cries then, letting the choked back sobs rip through him. She remembers what that feeling was like. How her heart hurt so bad she felt like she was going to die.

He of all people didn’t deserve that.

She didn’t deserve that.

And one day, she knew Hyunjin would finally realize that he didn’t. That he deserved to be loved fully, despite the arguments, despite flaws, despite his tight schedule.

Love was messy.

It wasn’t perfect all the time.

His ex wanted perfection and he had so desperately wanted and tried to give it to her.

But he couldn’t, no matter what he said—her love for him was gone.

Hyunjin’s cries softened, his tears soaking the shoulder of her jacket as she was certain hers had the front of his coat.

When he pulled back, the wetness gathering beneath his eyes and wetting his cheeks glistened in the moonlight. She gently cupped his face, wiping every remaining tear away.

Hyunjin closed his eyes, his breath dancing in the chilled night air as he exhaled. Her heart thrummed as he leaned into her touch.

Oh how she wished to speak the three words she had felt on the tip of her tongue for so long. How she yearned to be the one that consumed his thoughts. How she wondered how his lips would feel against hers and if it would heal parts of him the way she knew it would her.

But she doesn’t move.

Not until he takes her hand into his gloved one.

Not until he’s leading her back inside.

Not until they are both shedding their outer layers silently and then departing to separate bathrooms.

Y/n soaks in the tub, the tears finding their way to her cheeks once more as she catches a glimpse of the night sky as she leans her head back.

Hyunjin on the other side of the house lets his head hang between his shoulders. His eyes pooling with tears as he lifts his gaze to stare into the foggy mirror.

What was he doing?

Why was he letting this torture him so much?

He thought about her, not his ex for once, but Y/n.

How she held him, how she looked at him, how she spoke to him. Every action filled with the warmth and care he had wanted from his ex.

But she wasn’t his ex and he wasn’t Y/n’s. They were two people who held feelings for one another but their scars built walls between them.

Or had it just been his?

Hyunjin thought long and hard for a moment. He doesn’t remember the last time she had mentioned her ex. He knew it was still a sore spot; it’s why she understood him wanting to take things extremely slow between the two of them.

He feared saying the wrong thing and her walking away. He feared not showing her love and her feeling unloveable. He feared his schedule would put distance between them. That long distance would break them.

But then, he inhaled—dark eyes meeting familiar ones in the reflection before him.

Those things had drove his ex away—had led to hurtful things being spat at him. Had led to his heart being torn from his chest exactly a year ago.

But they didn’t drive Y/n away.

Because she was still there. She had always been there, supporting him from the shadows, being a shoulder to lean on. She showed him love and care when he felt like he didn’t deserve it.

She had feelings for him, and here he was—aching for the love he lost and the one he was scared to lose.

Hyunjin finds her on the couch. He only sees the back of her head at first but when he rounds the corner, coming to stand infront of her, he notices how cozy she looks. Her eyes flicker from the fire to his. He doesn’t miss the way her eyes soften or the small smile on her lips. It was never out of pity that the features of her face softened.

It’s because he was her safe place, just like she was his.

Hyunjin takes a seat next to her, his elbows on his knees as he leans forward. His own gaze focuses on the flames dancing before the two of them.

Neither of them say anything, just basking in the silence and the crackling of the fire.

Then he finds his voice.

“In truth, I don’t know what to say,” Hyunjin whispered, referring to her invitation to speak to him earlier.

He tilts his head towards her, eyeing her hands that are toying with one another on her lap. He reaches out slowly, placing his large hand over hers. She doesn’t hesitate to intertwine their fingers and Hyunjin feels his heart lighten.

“I’m not okay. I don’t know how long it will be until I can truly say that I am and mean it,” he whispers, looking from their hands to her eyes.

“But I have had a lot said to me and a lot done to me that terrifies me Y/n. I want to let you in. I want to give you the love you deserve. I want to be someone deserving of you. But I have demons I’m still fighting. I still have things I’m trying to work through. In good conscience, I cannot ask you to be mine when I know that all of these ghost are still haunting me.”

She smiles at him—sad but beautiful, “I know. That’s why I’ll wait. Until you feel you are where you need to be. But I just ask one thing,” she says, leaning forward.

Hyunjin’s breath catches at the inches that have disappeared between them.

He nods, urging her to continue.

“You don’t have to fight those ghosts alone. Let me be there for you, as a friend, as someone who loves and cares about you. I had to go through that alone,” she says, referring to her own past heartbreak.

He sees the tears beginning to pull in her eyes as her mind takes her back to that moment of isolation.

“But you don’t have to Hyun. I’m right here. Let me be with you as a friend. And when we are both ready,” she whispers, “then we can try for something more.”

Hyunjin’s heart swells, he reaches for her, pulling her into him.

He doesn’t know how long they stay like that, just holding eachother. The promise of something more to come later lingering between them. But for now, Hyunjin holds her and makes a wish—even prays—that he can get better. That they can both heal. That they can make it through the storm together, because they were already standing in the rain.

Then Hyunjin, and only then, can he finally allow himself to love her fully.

taglist: @tirena1 @inaribu00 @abiaswreck @i-am-confused-about-life @karlee10261990 @beppybeesnuggets

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: hybrid!skz x fem!reader, bang chan x reader

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: It all started with an eviction notice that lead her to her found family.

Or: Y/n is facing eviction and Chan offers her a place to stay with he and his hybrid Minho. Secrets are kept, truths are revealed, and a series of events leads her to her forever home.

𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 ↓

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six - coming soon!

𝑳𝑬𝑨𝑵 𝑶𝑵 𝑴𝑬

pairing: model!felix x fem!reader

synopsis: the truth comes to life when she reaches her breaking point

or Felix and Y/n’s daughter won’t sleep and and exhaustion leads to a long talk between her and Felix

themes: angst, exhaustion, mentions of not being a good mom, reader is in her head, felix acknowledges his faults, mostly conversation, couple kisses, hurt/comfort

The soft whines coming from her daughter only after five minutes of undisturbed silence had tears prickling at the back of her eyes.

She whispered to the child, silently praying to God that she would close her eyes and rest so that she could as well.

Even if it was just for ten minutes.

She cast a glance at the blonde next to her, his neck pillow not doing very good at supporting his head in his sleep. She was grateful he was able to catch some shut eye after the weekend he had just had. But if she wasn’t successful in quieting their daughter, he would soon be pulled from his sleep.

Unfortunately, her daughter grew restless—her tiny face scrunching up. Her skin reddened and then the tears came.

And then the cries.

She sighed as she sat straighter in her seat, her lower back and arms aching as she tried her best to bounce the distressed baby space.

She caught sight of some others in first class, some of them giving her sympathetic looks—others casting glares in her direction. Her heart dropped as Felix shifted next to her, his long lashes fluttering open at the sound of their child’s cry.

“Hey,” he says, voice deep and rough with the remains of sleep and eyes slightly unfocused as he took in the distressed child.

“Let me take her for a while baby.”

She shook her head, pulling the whining child closer to her chest.

“You’ve had a long weekend Lix. Get some rest. I can take care of her.”

Felix’s frown deepened as he looked between her and his child.

“It has been for you too Y/n. You’ve done amazing and I have felt awful for how busy this weekend was with fashion week and not being able to help you care for her.”

“I haven’t done amazing,” she whispers, turning her head away from her husband so that he doesn’t see the tears welling in her eyes.

“Y/n—.”

As if sensing her distress, their baby begins to cry harder, nearly screaming.

Felix reaches for her and Y/n hands her over. He shifts a little in his seat, leaning over to where he has more space to bounce the baby. When that doesn’t work, he gets up, eyes tired as he whispers lowly to their screaming child, walking her towards the back of the plane—putting distance between him and the others.

Y/n’s head falls into her hands, rubbing her face harshly.

What makes it worse is that within five minutes, their daughter has calmed down. She turns in her seat, finding the child’s face tucked into Felix’s neck, the sound of him humming softly even reaching her ears.

Another wave of tears spills over.

When Felix returns, their daughter is fast asleep—like she hadn’t been screaming her head off only a few minutes prior. She doesn’t turn to look at them as Felix takes his place next to her. She just silently cries—staring out the window and counting down the minutes until she is able to lock herself in their shared bathroom and cry under a shower head that she has been desperate to feel for the past 48 hours.

Felix tries touching her but it doesn’t bring her comfort like it usually does.

They don’t say much to one another for the rest of the flight. Felix tries but Y/n doesn’t want to risk waking their baby. Especially since this is the longest she has slept for a while.

When they return home, Felix’s assistants help him to unload both of their bags before Felix sends them away. Y/n takes the opportunity to slip upstairs. Her baby was still fast asleep in Felix’s arms, only having woken up a couple of times from the plane to the car when Felix placed her in the car seat. But her little fist wrapped around his pinky and she fell right back to sleep.

Y/n takes a much needed shower—letting herself release the tears that she had been holding back all weekend.

An hour later, she emerges from the en-suite; towel-dried hair and a dark robe wrapped around her. She finds Felix on the bed, mindlessly scrolling through his phone but his eyes don’t seem to be following nor paying attention to whatever he’s looking at.

He looks up though as she steps into the room, his dark eyes wide and round with worry at seeing her red eyes. His phone falls to the bed as he stands. In a few steps he has her wrapped in his arms and the tears she had thought she was done shedding hit even harder. He spoke soothing words that she was certain he spoke to their child.

When the tears had slowed, Felix took a step back from her, taking her face into his hands. Felix’s movements were slow and loving—kissing every tear away before pulling back and pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

“I knew I would be bad at this,” she whispers sadly.

Felix frowned at that, “Bad at what my love?”

“At being a mother.”

The confession hung heavy between the two of them. She could see the way her words made Felix frown.

“That is not true.”

She shook her head, growing frustrated as she wiggled out of his hold before taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

“I don’t calm her like you do. When she’s with me, she doesn’t sleep. I had one job this weekend and that was to take care of her while you focused on your job. But I still needed your help. You almost missed waking Felix! You almost missed the chance of a lifetime because I am incapable of taking care of her. What kind of mother does that make me? What kind of wife does that make me,” she sobs.

Felix falls to his knees taking her clasped hands into his.

“Look at me Y/n.”

He whispers her name so softly that she awful for breaking down in front of him like this.

His own tears have escaped his eyes as he holds her gaze.

“You are doing the best that you can Y/n. This is our first time doing something like this. It’s not always going to go the way we want it to and it’s not always going to go to plan. I didn’t realize how bad it was for you this whole time—especially this weekend and for that I am deeply sorry,” his voice wavers.

“Lix. You have nothing to apologize for. I had just hoped it was all in my head but I guess this weekend got to be too much and—I just couldn’t soothe her and it makes me feel awful that I have to trouble you when you are so tired because I can’t—.”

“You are never troubling me Y/n,” he whispers as he leans closer to her.

“You and I created her together. You and I take care of her together. You and I are in this together. You do not have to do everything on your own. I’m right here. I want to take care of the both of you. So please do not feel like you need to keep all of the hard parts of raising a child to yourself because you don’t. I will do anything and everything to help you Y/n,” he sniffled, bringing her hands to his lips before pressing a wet kiss to them.

“We do this together from now on, okay?”

Y/n nods, letting Felix pull her into another soft kiss.

“And, you are an amazing mother,” he kisses her cheek.

“And wife,” another peck to her nose.

“That any man could ever ask for. I am so lucky to have you. Our daughter is so lucky to have you. So please, don’t keep this to yourself anymore. Come to me and let me help you carry the weight, yeah?”

She nods, taking Felix’s face into her hands before kissing him. He pulls her closer before a soft whine sounds from down the hall. He smiles against her lips, pressing a kiss to her nose and then her forehead.

“I’ve got it baby,” he kisses her again before pulling away and heading towards the door.

“Get some sleep my love. I’ll wake you when dinner is ready.”

So she lets him go. She doesn’t jump to stop him. She listens and lays her head against the pillow, her heart light and the lingering heat of her husband’s lips on her skin—eager for some much needed rest.

taglist: @tirena1 @inaribu00 @abiaswreck @i-am-confused-about-life @karlee10261990 @beppybeesnuggets

𝐒𝐊𝐙 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐠𝐟 0.2

pairing: skz member x chubby!reader (maknae line)

themes: fluffy fluff, slight angst

part one

H.JS

— absolutely LOVES cuddling you

— he loves pressing close to you, the softness of your body making it easier to fall into a deep sleep

— jaw on the floor everytime you put on anything form fitting

𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝑰𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑨𝑺𝑻 𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑬 | 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒌 0.2

pairing: street racer!chan x fem!reader

synopsis: synopsis: Chan and Y/n are haunted by the ghosts of their past. What happens when a new—yet familiar face shows up in town, turning both of their lives as they knew them upside down.

or; the arrival of a street racer in town has dark secrets of their own coming to light despite trying to hide them from one another

warnings: see masterlist for series warnings

Do NOT copy, plagiarize, translate, rewrite, or repost ANY of my works. If you get inspiration from this fic please give credit. I work hard on these so please respect that.

masterlist | prev. | next

Chan hadn’t messaged her the rest of the day, which wasn't at all like him. Yes, he was quiet, reserved, and not the best conversationalist at times but he’d usually message her back as soon as she reached out to him.

But her messages went unanswered.