my side of the story

What women and men talked about all along. When they felt like Islam failed them and so they ran away as far as they could from it.

They felt like they were so let down, their wish taken away from them, that they felt like “what’s the point of living? My life will be one struggle to the next with tiny moments of happiness that will never amount to much”

Or they felt that they did every thing the right way. They followed the rules and got left behind.

And that’s how I feel at this exact moment. That I tried my hardest to be the best person I could. Clean hearted. Modest. Aware of everyone and everything around me. And I lost something I really wished for. Something I deserved. That hurts.

I see why people go out there and get wild and careless. They feel like the good they did within themselves didn’t come back to them.

A silent one. With silent tears and silent smiles. But my notebook will be there with me along the way.

And I have to remind myself we all go through ups and downs. Sadness and happiness.

Although I imagined this year to be better than the last, there is so much that I need to work on. But it’s hard when your surroundings push you down. And you can’t find a way to get away. So instead you release it on everyone around you. You hurt the people you love.

I stopped writing for so long, but to write again, I know how sad I am. I know what kind of place I’m in mentally to need to write again.

Communication is not keeping everything inside and then exploding one day. Neither is it gaslighting.

Communication is not revenge when you dislike something the other person did and then forcing them to deal with the results.