very heavy vent you can 100% skip
I will never get good at this. I will never get good at this. Despite all the practice, everything's the same. I'm always the one that "has so much potential" that has "to keep going" but never the one who is there. I'm a failure I'm a failure I'm a failure. I don't even know a single technique in which I'm good at. Everyone is always better then me, they do stuff, they take 1 minute to do it and they're always better than me in every way. The teachers tell me "they see the spark", that "I have something the others don't". What the fuck. What the fuck, I wish it was true. I'm a complete fucking failure and I will never get good at this. I've never been good at anything and I've always left things before they got too complicated. But I love drawing. I've never sacrificed so much for something in my life ever. And I do it all because I liked watching cartoons when I was a kid. Why does it have to hurt so much. I know I suck, I will suck forever at this. I want to fcking die I can't take this anymore genuinely the only remedy I see to this is klling myself because there will never be a cure for being such a shithead and a complete useless failure all my life. I'm not even good at putting this into words. Is there even something I don't completely fucking suck in? What the fuck.
I'm sorry, I temporarily quit therapy and don't feel like I can talk to anyone right now. Next week I have an appointment with a psychiatrist to get my first medications. I hope they do something for me. I really do. I'm tired
