She told me that I am more into her than she is into me. That she needs her space…allow it to open up slowly at her own pace. And we talked about it. I did share that I actually don’t know what that means. I would like to offer that to her…but I don’t quite know how to. I don’t know what it means really. This is the same thing that has happened in the past. Either the other wanted to run away from my consuming love or I wanted to run away from the others’.
And I can’t handle someone else’s all consuming love. What does it do to me? I feel that it gives me little freedom to play, to have fun, to laugh, to be light. They leave their life and my life become’s theirs. And that’s really irritating. My life is my life. And the other person’s life is theirs. Its nice when I get to see and experience the other person’s life. And if I allow my life to remain intact. Live my life the way I want to. Go out and meet people, go places, enjoy…live life fully. And that’s what makes it all interesting.
I fall in love…and I just consume them and overwhelm them. I don’t know how to stay patient, easy and relaxed. As if that love becomes an addiction. Its like this cup of coffee that I can’t do without. She wants to have fun, be relaxed. Enjoy this time. She wants to see me, be with me. She likes me. And my heart just keeps opening up more and more. And I want to possess, take over, control, consume. What is this? I am not sure. But its time to hold this opening and revel in it. Let my heart be opened up without having to possess the source of my opening on the outside. Its her beauty, her openness, her love that opens me up more and more. And I can just carry this feeling in my heart and live my life. Can I do that? Can I just live with this opening?
I couldn’t stop smiling when I heard this song.
This thing called love, I just can't handle it
This thing called love, I must get round to it
Crazy little thing called love
Called love (called love)
It shakes all over like a jelly fish
Crazy little thing called love
She knows how to rock 'n' roll
She gives me hot and cold fever
Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweat
I gotta be cool, relax, get hip
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motorbike
Crazy little thing called love
I gotta be cool, relax, get hip
Take a back seat (ah hum), hitch-hike (ah hum)
And take a long ride on my motorbike
Until I'm ready (ready Freddie)
Crazy little thing called love
gummygunk
vaporwave
theartofmadeline
