If You Want Peace Prepare for War

“Old man, new ‘young’ body reporting for duty. Also your praise is quite humbling, Lord Loptyr. But let’s not worry too much about that when we have families to ruin.

I know I try to be more relaxed with minors here but what you just did here, this isn’t an okay thing to do to potential RP partners. Since you are the same age as my little sister I’m going to talk to you in the same firmness I do her, because I know she can understand.

If you didn’t read my tags, then what were you replying to here?

my tags:

yours in your reply:

Not only did you ‘eh’ my concerns (not to mention assuming my Manfloy has a shared background with your OC), but you also then went on to try and act like you didn’t know when I backed out of the RP and told you ‘no’.

She was putting him a position like this, where he couldn’t respond truthfully and could only continue to be vague. That had been how he managed to get by all this time, and few people would continue to ask questions. Generally, it was the Silesian royals and Celice who continued to ask him about himself, though he would always write off his knowledge to the young leader as “what he knew during his travels”.

Honestly, what was he supposed to say? ‘Your father has been dead since before you were born and I’m another being from another land that took over his body to guide the children to defeating a longtime enemy of both races’? How believable did that even sound? Even Sety likely wouldn’t able to believe that and would need time to let it sink in. After all, the boy had merely been an infant when his father was taken from him, and if things were up to Levin right now, he would sit those two down and tell them in enough detail that they wouldn’t panic. Instead, things had gotten progressively more sour since he had other things to accomplish besides raising two.

“Everything and anything are one and the same here. If I were to tell you anything, I would have to tell you everything.” Even with that, wasn’t he saying too much? As stubborn and misunderstanding of him as Fee could be, she wasn’t stupid. He had done a lot to watch his steps and gloss over things, avoiding full truths and only putting out half truths that the kids would never pick up on. But no… Even with that, Celice seemed to still suspect something. Perhaps he had been too much of a talker around the boy, explained too many things in lengthy detail to help the young leader out that he hadn’t thought enough into covering his tracks.

In the end, he couldn’t and wouldn’t say it outright. If he was approached about it, questioned about it, he couldn’t say it. He had resolved to get through this under the guise of being Levin, using the man’s memories that remained in him to act like him and make the act seem more realistic. It had been a mistake, and somehow the memories of that person, the thoughts, the feelings, and all the people who adored the former prince that had not survived long enough to be called king, had started to change his own feelings and how he went about his self-imposed mission. He couldn’t take this back, and he also couldn’t take back what had happened to the mother of the children he was supposed to be a father too.

It was late in the war now. If there was supposed to be a time to say anything, it should have been now, but he couldn’t. No, he could… but how much trouble would it bring? How much sorrow would it bring the people he had explicitly come here to protect? To know the man that always stood before them was not the person they believed him to be, someone who never told full truths and hid the rest, the unspoken lie that he was their father.

“Even if I tell you what kind of person I am, that may not tell you about the kind of person you’re looking to learn about. That is, unless you’re asking about the me that belonged to Sigurd’s army. Beyond that… you may hate me, and you may never forgive me, but there is a point I will no longer tell you about. I can tell you about Fury, but it will have to wait. Perhaps during a quiet evening, when there are no plans to be made or battles. I have no problem telling you the history of your parents, but when I say there are things I cannot speak of, I mean it.”

      Fee nodded. Like the others had said it was likely there was something deeply traumatic in her father’s past and that was why he refused to talk about it. Although she’d known how awful the Battle of Barhara had been it had truly affected everyone differently. One of the wyvern knights that had joined up recently had spoken of meeting Levin prior to that event and even though their encounter had been brief, the man he and the other adults described was different.

“I’m.... I’m sorry. I know you’ve tried to say it, that you can’t talk about it.” She still couldn’t forgive him and she had a feeling she would never be able to sort out her anger -- or at least not anytime soon -- but she could at least try, a little, to know the person he is now.

“The reason you left was all of this though, wasn’t it? I was talking to the others and it just kind of adds up, all the timing. I can’t forgive you for leaving like that, especially not for leaving mother. I really, truly can’t. You’re a holy blooded warrior, if you felt this was coming then of course you had to leave.”

“I won’t pry anymore.” She had to be strong and compassionate, right? That’s the type of person she was supposed to be, not a crying kid. She could run back to her tent later and cry but right now...  He’d always so staunchly rejected talks about his past that it seemed they must be right, that whatever it was had been painful. The way he spoke sounded like he had no intentions to return as King even after the war and perhaps the war had truly left its mark. She recalled how Prince Leaf spoke of Sir Fin, how he was deeply affected by his own losses and yet carried on. If her father was struggling the same way then it was wrong to continue like this.

     She truly was immature, wasn’t she?