Give me something I can crush, something I can kill @purpleparrot - Tumblr Blog

4th of july is lowkey a rich person's holiday

#kind of not fun if you're not celebrating on a beach or taking a trip or on a boat #like you can drink alone but still

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rylandgraces

How it feels when someone prevs you

postergirlfornothing

whenever i get stressed about being an adult i just remember that at least i never have to go to a middle school dance again

#the horror of standing on the side of the room while all your friends got asked to dance but you didn't #stephen king should write about that #shut up iris

i am so obsessed with watching people on tiktok fix really complicated car problems i should have been a mechanic

#i'd probably be making more money too but the sexism whew

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so many of my clothes would fit perfectly if i lost like 10 pounds

#not to like fall into diet culture but still

orangepenguino

x

disterbia

amrv-5

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

tilthat

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

via reddit.com

toastpotent-deactivated20250619

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

beggars-opera

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

ti-bae-rius

US moron came to town

Hunting for some coochie

Wrote a G up on his belt

And this bitch called it Gucci

ti-bae-rius

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

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etheltempest

every day i smash gender norms by being a woman who’s avoidant and emotionally unavailable #feminism

aropride

please god let chatgpt die out like nfts did. With a fast and graceless fall into irrelevancy

bladespark

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

atwotonedbird

This spell has a very low hit ratio, so we need a lot of us to do it.

i can tell i'm getting old because i find the minions very funny

#like i get why middle aged women found them so funny like 10 years ago

sacred-portal

cringecorp

#raining tn so my neighbors won't be shooting them off hallelujah

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all of my coworkers that i like are attending this happy hour next week and the ones i don't like RSVP'd no

#work tag #normally i would skip but my boss “strongly encouraged” me to attend lol

turned in my ballot, replaced my fridge filter, bought a new pillow I feel like a new woman

#we're sleeping good tonight fam

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Give me something I can crush, something I can kill