Give me something I can crush, something I can kill

ancient roman women whose husband keeps looking at the neighbour's boy quintus and he never looks at her that way and she can't even chainsmoke in the kitchen because they don't have marlboro blues in ancient times. and she can't even go to the club because they haven't discovered drum and bass music yet. her friend clodia's having visions of a woman named doechii but neither of them knows what that means

you are my mutual and to some extent my wife

furiously searching online "what do animals do out in a rainstorm" while it's raining

nobody worry too much because they all produce various oils and have different densities of fur to keep them dry and warm as well as seek out shelter under thick vegetation

I hate you Ozempic craze I hate you 'heroin chic' I hate you weight loss ads on public radio I hate Burn Fat Fast ads every thirty seconds I hate you I hate you I hate you

not everything is getting worse. at least you don't hear high hopes by panic at the disco every day anymore

if doing the dishes always takes you 10 minutes then why does it feel like being trapped in a gemstone for a century

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP