u survive literally every single event in your life & still every time a new event happens you feel like this is the event that will kill you and that you will never move on from but actually you will continue to survive like you always have bc u have a 100% win rate of surviving events. btw

* walking round the supermarket muttering to myself* loneliness is still time spent with the world loneliness is still time spent with the world loneliness is still time spent with the world loneliness is still

anyone else grieving & mourning & lamenting & kicked apart by nostalgia & going silently about their lives?

sometimes i’m like i’m the luckiest girl in the world and then an hour later i’m like .. someone cursed me cause no way that’s how that was meant to go

[text: Life comes in clusters, clusters of solitude, then a cluster when there is hardly time to breathe.]

being a person in your 20s is like being 40 and being 16 at the same time. i am simultaneously too old and too young for this shit

there's just nothing that beats being at home. the world will try to convince me i should be doing more and it's like yeah but im at home

Learning to be less reactive is literally saving my life. I’m finally understanding that processing things is not the same as immediately forming a response to them. I can process without feeling pressed to formulate a reaction to what someone said or did or a situation that displeases me. Not that a quick head on your shoulders is necessarily a bad thing, but 9/10 taking a minute to just process could save you so much trouble

i’ve seen how detrimental basing your entire identity around a person can be. the moment you identify yourself as someone’s girlfriend, mother, whatever, you are truly shooting yourself in the foot. nothing screams codependency more than getting joy through the existence of somebody else. especially w how volatile humans are. it’s the very definition of not having security in yourself

been thinking a lot about anticipatory grief lately. i love you so much that i know losing you will devastate me. i haven't lost you yet but i already miss you. we still have time, but it won't be enough. i think about what i would say at your funeral, and say some of it to you now cause i need you to know how loved you are before you go. you will go where i cannot follow, but you will never really leave me. it won't make it hurt less but it is a part of healing somehow.

congratulations to people who are good at performing conversations and social interactions. did you take a class or is it just like genetics or whatever

i hope you buy things that bring you joy. i hope you wear clothes that make you feel good. i hope you decorate your home however you like. i hope you don’t wake up dreading going to work. i hope you meet people that make your heart sing. i hope you discover hobbies that fulfill you. i hope you go on fantastic adventures that give you unforgettable memories. i hope you do things just because you want to, and i hope you don’t feel like you have to justify your decisions to anybody. i hope you find happiness. i hope you cultivate a life you love

sorry for being so weird it's my first time being alive