Hey man you look like you had a long day, come sit on the couch with me. Oh yeah, just get comfy and relax I know you must be stressed out, here let me massage you a bit. Itβs totally not weird I donβt know what you mean, yeah like doesnβt it feel so good when I give you these head scratches, behind your ears too?
Aww you seem like youβre already less tense, do you want a treat? What no man I didnβt say that in a patronizing way, I just mean like a snack. Youβre so sensitive haha, anyways before I give you your treat you gotta raise your paw. What Iβm not treating you like a dog? Iβm just joking around, no need for you to get all mad. Why are you getting up, aww come on sit boy! Oh my god youβre so red, itβs just a joke dude, donβt you want your treat puppy?
Oh my god youβre so dramatic; are you seriously going to have a fit over some stupid joke? I mean if I didnβt think you were red from being mad I would think itβs because you liked this. Yeah you like being talked down to like a fucking dog? Oh yeah keep denying, I totally believe you. Hey come back here, let me just- hey sit still, yeah stop fucking fighting I just need to click this collar into place. Aww you look adorable, are you embarrassed puppy? Stop avoiding eye contact look at me. Dude this is what you are, I donβt care if you protest it, youβre just a pathetic fucking dog.

















