SCARRED

       she sighs heavily, the plume of white flowing out of her mouth as if she truly were a ghost. except… she’s warm to touch, can feel the chill running down her spine from being outside for their prolonged time. she’s living and breathing again, as though she hadn’t ever given her life for the greater good. 

    ( and vaguely, she has to wonder, without her there, is the despair kept at bay? )

    ❝ if i were you, i’d think so too, but… as it is now, i don’t think it’s too impossible, ❞ kotone says simply, in that bystander voice of hers. crimson irises fall to her evoker, expression solemn. “we can’t summon our personas and doesn’t look like we’re anywhere in japan…” and then she laughs, quietly, sadly. 

    “maybe this is a place where the dead can come back to life…” then she meets his bright, yellow eyes that remind her so much of the dark hour’s moon. eerily, a smile stretches across her lips, and though frightening it may be, her own sense of fear glimmers ever so quietly beneath her hardened gaze. 

    “scary thought, isn’t it? the possibility of seeing people you had to say goodbye to, whether you wanted to or not… whether you cared about them or not.” it rings too loudly, the way she seemed terrified of seeing him again, as if just one look at him would take all strength she mustered away. and perhaps it would. perhaps seeing him, confused and lost, alive and breathing… perhaps it really would render her useless. 

    and then she sighs again, shoulders shrugging.

    “well… that just depends if they make it here.”

A ‘scary thought’ was more than an understatement. If what she said was true, there was no way Sho could see himself resting easily for an instant in the foreseeable future. How could he relax for even an instant if the dead could come back here?

If that was possible, then what would stop...

“Doesn’t that mean.. that means he could show up, doesn’t it?!”

It was difficult to voice the fear that began eating at him as soon as the idea so much as popped into his head, but his tone, usually full of rage and confidence, diminished in an instant, replaced with a shaky, stuttering mess. 

After all, what would he do if he saw his father once more? He wanted to kill the bastard himself right now, but even he knew that his resolve could easily waver if he was actually face to face with the man.

Except, that shouldn’t be something he’d even have to consider. He should be free now. 

“i should think my business clear enough. is it a crime to go somewhere alone to practice one’s sword skills? you are the one intruding, here.” the knight’s breathing is ragged, a thousand and more years of life straining his endurance. so far as he can tell, excalibur has no magic here; his body will need time to adjust to mortality again. if this is any indication, it promises to be a long and arduous process.

the boy doesn’t know king arthur…? sir bedivere clicks his tongue disapprovingly, shakes his head, levels a very unimpressed look at the other. “honestly–do they teach you children nothing? king arthur, king of knights, the greatest and most noble ruler britain has ever known–nothing? the lady of the lake, the sword in the stone? nothing?” his demeanor, already stiff, turns cold. “he lives here among us, you know. you should not be so clueless.”

bedivere tucks his left hand behind his back for balance, brandishes the sword with the other in a dueling stance. not making a threat, just an offer. “since you seem to have come equipped–care for a bout? you will, of course, have to go easy on an old man.”

“Well, maybe you weren’t the only one with the idea, dumbass!”

As he responded, the hand holding the teen’s katana began to raise, becoming more and more threatening and less defensive with each passing moment. Despite disliking humanity as a whole, Sho was even less receptive to any authority figure. Adults who thought they were in charge of him? He’d had way more than enough of that for a lifetime. 

So the utter disregard just cause he didn’t know bout some hoity-toity king from a country he’d barely even heard of pissed him right off.

“How the fuck am I supposed to know about some British dude who bossed everyone else around with some... water lady? I’m not even from Britain! ‘Sides, there’s a ton of people here, I don’t hafta know everything ‘bout all of them!”

Usually, now would be around the time when Sho inevitably lashed out at whoever he was speaking with, and the fact that he had his sword with him made that possibility far more deadly for the source of his irritation. However, with his recent decisions to... try and change, he was willing to wait for a moment.

And having a fight offered to him was enough to at least partially defuse his growing rage. The sword in question actually lowered a bit as he considered the stranger, head tilted to the side in vague confusion.

Tomura nearly jumps out of her skin when Sho speaks to her, wrenching her lithe body around to face him. The nails of her hand nearly draw blood into cracked flesh, but luckily, she manages to relieve the pressure just a bit.

Still… Shigaraki looks angry, the expression clear over her uncovered face. 

“ Am I … okay? “ He drawls slowly, like he’s feeling out the words, tasting them on his tongue.

“ What the fuck kind of question is that? Are you insane? Do I look okay? Should anyone be okay with being whisked off to some snowy fucking fairytale land? Are you seriously that stupid? “

Surly and rude, and while he doesn’t look like much, Shigaraki stands up, shoulders slumped. It’s easy to tell being here is getting to him, with how fast he snaps. But he doesn’t seem to care… or maybe Tomura just doesn’t notice?

Any concern Sho felt drained away, replaced with frustration immediately afterwards, as he listened to the response. Trying to even care about other people was a very new concept, but if it was gonna turn out like this everytime he didn’t know why he should have to bother!

“Well, fuck you too!  I was just kinda worried, you asshole!”

Taking a step forward, Sho heightened his stance, his shoulders raised defensively. One hand was half raised in a fist towards Shigaraki, the other resting on the hilt of his weapon, barely concealed by the bottom of his shirt.

       she only blinked at his pun, let alone his comment regarding his own last name, but kotone doesn’t respond, instead blowing out a sigh. had they been in a better atmosphere, perhaps she’d laugh in response and comment it was a little impressive he so courageously was willing to pun his own name. instead, kotone frowns even deeper, voice quiet.

    ❝ by the sound of things, you’re a persona user too. everyone has different ideals, but in the end, we’re all fighting to try to achieve them. it’s not a matter of what’s right and who’s worthy. ❞ because at the end of the day, it’s a matter of strength, and that bitter truth alone leaves an unwanted taste in kotone’s mouth. everyone wanted something, and everyone fought hard for it. was it a matter of who wanted it more? or who was simply lucky enough to achieve their goals?

    ( when she thinks back to strega and their ruined bodies, surely, fortune hadn’t been a blessing they were granted ).

    again, kotone doesn’t flinch when the katana is raised, only keeping eye contact, voice never wavering. after giving her life up once, perhaps what scared her more was the thought of losing her friends, though, they weren’t here for her to worry too much. she should treasure herself more, that much she can hear her companions saying. except, there are things she wants to know and things she needs to know… being fearful wasn’t an option if she wished to gain information.

    “… you said you went through some files, didn’t you? if you met most of them, you can figure out who i am, at least.” but she doesn’t grant him that time to think, her belated introduction quick to follow. “i’m shiomi… SEES’ leader, kotone shiomi… i may be affiliated with them as people, but…” well, considering she died, not like she could actually be a proper member, right? 

    “you can fill in the rest, right? would be hard not to.”

... Oh. Oh.

“... Yeah. Yeah, you’re right, I am! I’m just as strong as you bastards. Minazuki’s persona’s mine now!”

It was... really easy to forget, honestly. Years were spent trying to force the power upon him, but it never worked. It was still shocking that one night was able to do what Dad couldn’t ever manage, despite immense effort.

“But if that’s the case, your friends could really use a memo. They’re a real self-righteous bunch.”

The words were punctuated with a snarl, which stayed firmly in place as she continued, until she... stopping making sense.

“... Huh?”

Sho blinked as she spoke, his sword lowering, confusion written across his face. Hesitantly, he took a step away from her as he attempted to reply.

“... There was a little ‘bout the leader, but the files all said they died. Like... that other guy, and the successful subjects from Ergo, and...”

A brief moment was spent as he realized what he was about to say, before Sho hastily continued on.

       the tension in the air momentarily wavers as she blinks, even more confusion evident on her features. what did he mean ‘minazuki’ wasn’t him? that was… literally his name, wasn’t it? that was like saying she wasn’t shiomi when she is… there was definitely more to the story she didn’t know, though with his obvious habit of sharing a little too much information, perhaps she’d find out eventually. 

    ❝ then… do you prefer just sho? ❞ comes the innocent question, actually and truly genuine. she was finally learning something from him, might as well compromise somehow. “you could’ve just said that in the first place if you did…”

    nonetheless, she pinches the bridge of her nose, previous annoyance returning. by the sounds of it, wasn’t his anger just misplaced? wasn’t he just directing it to whoever else was left of the kirijo family? ( and vaguely, she’s reminded of ken, of his vengeance, of his rage, all over an accident… over something a poor teen couldn’t control ). 

    “and you’re blaming her for… that? from what i noticed, to even awaken to a persona is usually because something dangerous is happening…” kotone frowns deeply, recalling her own friends’ circumstances. “maybe she was trying to protect something or someone… you’re gonna get mad at her for that?” she hadn’t noticed the way her hands were shaking from irritation or perhaps anger, but she hides them well as her arms cross once again. 

    and yet, despite how clearly vexed she is, kotone’s voice is equally soft, filled with that warmth only kotone was capable of, yet still hidden beneath that distant exterior.

    “you’ve both suffered a lot because of her awakening. what happened to you was cruel, and you have every right to be mad but… it’s not like she’s the source of it all.” once again, she seems so far away, somewhat old and wise, yet young and tired all the same. “really, maybe it was just stupid adults’ curiosity that made all of this happen to begin with.”

“‘Course I prefer it! It’s my name! How would you feel if I just Sho-d up and called you someone else’s name!”

Even as he briefly giggled to himself at the joke, a tiny bit of realization hit him. She... didn’t know about Minazuki. Duh. Hell, as far as he could tell most people who had actually met Minazuki barely understood him, so of course this complete stranger would be pretty confused.

.... But fuck her, he wasn’t explaining that to someone defending Kirijo of all people. Minazuki was the most important person to him, even now. She didn’t deserve to know about him. 

“Ugggh... This is what I fuckin’ hate about you persona users. Always thinkin’ you’re so worthy and right.”

Sure, the logic given made some sense, but Sho was never one for logic to begin with. Why didn’t she get what was wrong with Kirijo? The family were the ones who ruined his life. She was the only one left of them.

What else was he supposed to do but hate her? 

“I hate her ‘cause she represents everythin’ that makes it so I barely have a life. Hell, if she wants to hate me for what I’ve done, whatever! Anger can’t just be logicked away just ‘cause you don’t think it makes sense!”

Narrowing his eyes, Sho raised his sword to point at the girl.

The threat of that blade had eyes widening–not in fear, but in offense. His expression soured, his displeasure obvious, and yet he seemed non-aggressive. There was no motion to retaliate, only a stubborn stare that demanded obedience. 

“Never raise a weapon to Us again.” 

His puns caused no hint of amusement on the emperor’s face. Conflict did not please him, and certainly not violence–suggested, threatened, or otherwise. 

“Sheath your weapon at once. We have no interest in provoking you, however We will defend ourselves. We do not want it to come to that.”

It wasn’t an actual threat, really. Sho often forgot that most people didn’t communicate more through weapons and violence, and the more serious response than Sho subconsciously expected left the teen frowning. People really didn’t know to take jokes, huh?

“It didn’t mean anythin’. I was basically just pointin’ at ya.”

A pause, before Sho was grinning once more, eyes shining in excitement.

       the first thought she had is ‘even he had a child?’ but it’s quickly overwritten by how uncomfortable the idea was. the man willing to sacrifice the lives of mere children had someone to call him a father? immediately, the coldness she wears melts to something akin to horror the more she listens, fingers automatically tightening their grip on the evoker in her hands, as if to find some sort of comfort.

    the tremors in his voice grates on kotone’s ears, and no matter how much she tries to play at being distant, she can’t help but feel sympathy. was it the effect of connecting her heart with so many different people? would what gave her strength and reason be ironically the reason for her downfall?

    ❝  you were used by him too, huh… ❞ she says softly, expression hard and unreadable. there are the slightest sparks of pain that shines in her irises, and surely, he would take it as pity. surely, sho would want to rip it to absolute shreds with that katana of his, but kotone can’t help it. no matter how much she tries, she’s just too kind-hearted, even to people that want to take her life because really, just one hand held out can help someone change and she knows.

    really, she knows. 

    ( but what she doesn’t know is that a certain silver haired boy felt the exact same way and perhaps such is the belief of any wild card ).

    however, she’s unsure how to respond to his anger. what could anyone say? what could she say, as their leader ( or, previous one at that? ). 

    “do you want an apology for us saving ourselves?” she decides on asking, lips pursing, foregoing her own introduction. “for that, i won’t say sorry. it’s not like anything can change, even if i did.” besides, for the both of us, it’s better that he’s gone. “but… for what the kirijo group did… if you know things about SEES and its members… you know then, right? that the shadow operatives weren’t made for fun. i’m sure mitsuru-senpai is trying to right all the wrongs and… even despite that, i…” 

    she glances away again, an annoyed sigh breathing through her nostrils. 

    “i think you being mad over everything is fair… accepting it would be weirder, but… what’s not fair is you blaming her for things she couldn’t control. she isn’t the one that ruined everything, so lay off, minazuki.”

“Eh, I dunno if I’d say that, really. Ya can’t use a defective weapon, after all.”

Actually hearing her respond made Sho feel... awkward, suddenly, and even as he continued speaking on his life, his eyes turned upwards and one hand rose to scratch at one of his less noticeable scars on his neck as he listened to her.

At least, he tried to listen, and managed to fairly well until one sentence managed to set him off completely. 

“Don’t call me that. I’m Sho. He was Minazuki. Minazuki isn’t here anymore.”

The words must have meant nothing to the other persona user, but Sho’s voice, having become more uncomfortable than angry, hardened once more in an instant at being called by his last name. That wasn’t really him, after all. 

That was Minazuki. And Minazuki was gone, leaving only his persona in his place. And Sho didn’t even have that anymore.

“And ignorance doesn’t her innocent, lap dog. Minazuki said the files suggested her dad didn’t even know ‘bout all the experiments goin’ on, and he was the one actively funding them,”

Sho pulled his blade out of the snow it had been buried in, holding it at his side limply as he spoke.

“She got to live in the lap of luxury while I was almost killed by a dozen robots daily, and the same money payin’ for her tea parties or whatever also paid for my experimental surgeries tryin’ to force a persona to develop. Did you know she was the first one on record to properly get one? It was all theories ‘fore then. If she hadn’t done it in front of some Ergo scientist, maybe dear old Dad wouldn’t have been as determined to have child weapons ‘gainst shadows.”

His voice became bitter, hateful as he spoke, softer than he almost ever spoke but full of venom. And why wouldn’t it be? There was no one alive he hated more than Mitsuru Kirijo. 

       his response finally tells her enough and confirms her suspicions. to put it simply, he was a boy her friends met in the future. however, vaguely, she has to wonder how much else he knew if he were aware of the dark hour but… well, somehow it warms her heart and fills her with relief her friends were able to continue fighting, even without her there. lingering on the past was too much of a burden ( they all knew that, she knew that, and yet it’s hypocritical of her to hope they could move on, considering how chained she is ). 

    regardless, the anger that overwhelms him intrigues kotone enough. it didn’t take a genius to figure out who the redhead was referencing, yet his words only bring more queries. 

    ❝ … that’s right. the fall hadn’t happened and SEES stopped it, ❞ comes her simple response, her very posture contrasting his own shaken one. her arms cross, body shifting its weight onto a foot, crimson irises peering up at him through long lashes. “ikutsuki failed and so did strega… well, that was in the past, anyway.” 

    and then she pauses, and she looks so, so far away. her gaze is distant, and she speaks in a voice that offers no sympathy because perhaps, in the depths of that heart she claimed made peace, any possible affiliation to them didn’t deserve her warmth.

    “listen, i’m not sure what exactly you were to him, but…” somehow, she looks strangely irritated, and any that knew her would comment on how out of place the anger seemed on the usually grinning teen. attempting to relate, to call SEES tools when they were but being unaware of the extent of his pain… that’d be cruel, even for the girl who left without any goodbyes. so instead, she merely frowns, head shaking. 

    “anyway, i’m not with the shadow operatives… though, if you have something against them, then i have something against you.”

As soon as his father’s name was spoken aloud, something in Sho snapped. Even before she was done speaking, the teen began to snicker, the laugh only growing louder as her words drew to a close. Soon, he was full on cackling, one arm wrapped around his stomach.

None of this made any sense, sure, but the self righteousness of every so-called heroic persona user he’d ever met continued to resonate in every attempt at conversation with them. They were always right, weren’t they? 

They were just so good and pure and better than those fueled by their rage, no matter how justified. It was so fucking funny.

But as quickly as the laughter began, it was done, Sho’s mannerisms returning to the sharp movements of a mere minute before.

“Ya wanna know who I was to him, Kirijo dog?”

With a practiced flick of his hand, his katana was out once more, but instead of even pointing it at his enemy its blade was soon buried in the snow as he stood tall, eyes filled with fiery hatred.

“The name’s Sho Minazuki, son of Shuji Ikutsuki. Or, more accurately, his favorite test subject ‘til I stopped bein’ useful and he threw me out like yesterday’s trash.”

The strength he was trying to portray in his anger faltered as Sho began to shake once more, his voice becoming rough with hatred and hurt.

       the mere mention of ‘shadow operatives’ has the girl tilting her head, puzzlement upon her features. she had been expecting SEES not… whatever that was. her mind is racing a mile a minute, attempting to put the pieces of the puzzle together and whew. she didn’t have high grades during her time in school for nothing.

    if he were an enemy of the kirijo family, surely he’d be a member of strega… however, she knew there were only three members of it. if there weren’t, both jin and takaya would speak of any other comrade especially if they were a persona user… wouldn’t they? except, it still wouldn’t add up. it still wouldn’t explain how kotone and her friends were able to save the world without more resistance.

    and that’s why… surely, the only reason could be that, wouldn’t it?

    ❝ i dunno what the shadow operatives is but… do you know what SEES is, by any chance? ❞ a pause, and then her lips are pursing. “no, more like… how old was mitsuru-senpai when you saw her?” and then her gaze travels elsewhere, voice quiet. “and… the fall. do you know about that too?”

“Eh? Wasn’t that only a thing back when the Dark Hour was still around?” Narrowing his eyes, Sho looked to the stranger with suspicion. “‘Cording to Kirijo’s files, everyone involved left are part of Shadow Operatives. Are you tryin’ to trick me or somethin’?”

Sho did know about SEES, of course. Minazuki had dug up tons of files about them. But there were only two members of it that weren’t in Shadow Operatives, and they were both dead. And that... was most of what he could find on them, frankly.

There were some things Kirijo really skimmed in those files.

Sho was ready to angrily ask his own questions with this strange development, until she spoke once more. 

And suddenly, the teen went quiet, his eyes wide and breathe now shallow. 

“... Why does that matter? It failed. He failed, cause he was a dumbass bastard. He couldn’t do anything right! He couldn’t manage his end of the world plan right, he couldn’t make his perfect weapon, and he couldn’t stop himself from dying. So who cares!”

His voice raising as he spoke, his body beginning to shake, and his hand reaching for his sword almost desperately made it clear that if anyone did care, it was him.

More & More! Headcanons

☩: Do they practice any sort of religion? If so, is it the same as their family’s?

sho is agnostic. he’s fully aware the gods exist: one possessed him and almost ended the world while doing so. however, he’s far from a fan. after all, along with forementioned possession, that god lied and betrayed sho, taking advantage of the little trust sho even had to give out.

even when they were seemingly working together, that god was cruel to sho and would purposefully remind him of the source of his anger and pain to keep him fighting at all times. sho doesn’t like kagutsuchi, and sho doesn’t like any god

he doesn’t know if it’s the same belief system ikutsuki had, and he. doesn’t care. frankly, ikutsuki probably worshiped shadows, death itself, or possibly literally himself. or all three. 

🌟: Do they have any places they want to go before they die? For what reasons do they want to go there?

More & More! Headcanons

🌟: Do they have any places they want to go before they die? For what reasons do they want to go there?

sho has very, very few memories of life before ergo, but he is certain in where the brief instances that do exist take place: tatsumi port island. the files minazuki found on the gathering of test subjects say as much. at one point, when he was very young, sho was a child on the streets of tatsumi port island. and a part of him feels like it would be possible to find out who he was, truly, if he went

which is why he had always been too scared to even attempt to go. the possibility of knowing what life he could have had was enough to keep him away for all the time he had been awake in the real world thus far. even when he was watching the movements of the investigation team, he couldn’t bring himself to follow them to their school trip to the island

More & More! Headcanons

†: Did they come from a religious family/culture?

sho was raised with one purpose, and one purpose only: to be a weapon. personal beliefs and religion was not a part of the equation. his only loyalty was meant to be to ergo research, and to shuji ikutsuki. any gods would get in the way of that

however, ikutsuki’s own barely hidden god complex did lead to him occasionally mentioning his plans even in front of sho. so sho knew that there were gods who were powerful enough to end everything, whatever “everything” was, and that apparently they could be tamed, controlled, and used for that purpose if someone was determined enough