Sam the anti-pumpkin man

someone else has waged war against her. there’s dimensions and mind control and so, so many rotten pumpkins you don’t understand

I think you’re immune to her or something. that’s great. just whatever you do.

don’t. enter. the. basement.

please.

(— “Lydia”, Sfthrpcord Basement au)

*Sam picks up his phone and opens Tumblr*

*He reads the ask*

Well…

That’s enough internet for one day I think.

*He puts his phone down and takes a sip of his pumpkin tea*

Oh for fuck’s sake—

Oh god, she’s got new targets.

*He pauses*

That means she’s not at home.

*He starts walking away slowly*

Look, I wish you well… she’s harmless really!

Uh, yeah, I am at uni. I don’t know what the Pumpkin Queen does. I think I see her go out but then she’ll be back as if she never left.

- T

I just… don’t know anymore… maybe.

You think she’s cute now, sure! But imagine every day of your life is pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin. She puts them in my bed!

~ V

Her name IS Pumpkin Queen and I didn’t believe it at first but I’m starting to believe that she is actually a fairy or fae or whatever.

Ah I’d love to give you some elaborate story of how we met but what it really comes down to is rent.

She had the flat, needed a roommate, and she pays for most of it, so it’s bloody cheap.

Pumpkin?

Dangit anon's off

Please! NO.