∩^ω^♪＊🧜‍♂️🦭

You’re so pretty when you’re making coffee. You’re pretty all the time, just extra pretty when you’re focused. I can’t help watching. I swear I’m trying not to make it obvious. I tried to play it cool; glance at the window, glance at the pastries, glance at literally anything that wasn’t you, but I kept coming back to your delicate hands over and over. I wonder what they’d feel like running through my hair – I bet they’re soft. Now you’re doing that little thing where you bite your lip when you concentrate. I have to confess, sometimes I order the most complicated drinks just to see you do it. I don’t think you notice me anyway, so it’s okay, I’m just another regular. A regular who actually doesn’t like coffee. 

I first came in by chance; my best friend was starving, and this was the first place we came across. Then there you were, hair loosely pulled back, a sweet smile, like an angel straight from heaven. It was love at first sight, I swear. I had to start coming daily. So, I told you it was on my route to work, to a job I don’t actually have. You always smile so sweetly at me and tell me to have a good day at work. It’s not like I’m some creep – I actually care about you. 

Chris, my best friend, knew we were made for each other right away. He knows me so well. Anyone who saw us together wouldn’t be able to deny our chemistry. It’s like we are literally made for each other. He did tell me to stop checking you out, but he just doesn’t understand our connection yet. He lovingly calls you “coffee shop girl,” I think you suit “sunshine,”  “princess,” or “darling” better. I’d be sure to call you my darling when we start dating. 

“Adrian.”

When you call my name, it’s like a thousand tiny angels singing in my ear. I just wish you were calling it for something other than my order.

“Adrian?” you question.

“Oh sorry, thank you.” 

“Lost in thought?” 

That smile on your face could heal me from the brink of death. I want it tattooed on the inside of my eyelids, so it’s the first and last thing I see.

“Yeah, hah, something like that.” 

“Have a good day at work, Adrian.”

“Thanks, you too!”

Adrian. You never said my name other than to call out my order.

That smile could heal the blind. I hope you only smile like that for me. No, I know you do, because what we have is special. I know you don’t know it yet, I’m just another guy at work, but today we took it a step further: you called my name, not for my order but to tell me to have a nice day. I can’t wait till I can tell everyone we’re officially dating. You can call me whatever you like then, I don’t care. 

I don’t want you to think I’m coming on too strong, so I always leave after getting my order. Chris told me distance makes the heart grow fonder, whatever that means, but I’m sorry, I can’t help hovering around the car park today. The coffee is growing cold in my hand.  I actually don’t understand how people can drink this. You just look so radiant today, more than normal. It feels inhumanly possible to be this beautiful. Maybe you were sent from another planet to torture me? 

Chris told me you're a ten, “way out of my league,” in his words. He doesn’t know us though, yeah, we only talked inside the shop and technically, you’re paid to talk to me, but he doesn’t get it. When I followed you home, I found out we live in the same neighbourhood. We now listen to the same music, after I bought every album from your playlist. You wouldn’t be so nice to me if it weren’t true.

You just don’t know it yet, I’m sure. Feelings like this can’t be one-sided. That’s why I’ve changed my nightly patrols to your area. I need to make sure an angel like you stays safe. I started trailing behind on your walk home from work after that guy left his number. Don’t worry, I dealt with him. I can’t risk anything happening to you. If I’m just reserved as your personal bodyguard, that’s okay by me, I’ll do anything to be close to you. Anything to keep you safe.

Maybe it’s because you prefer me as Vigilante? I’ve seen the glances you sneak when you pretend not to notice me trailing you. Don’t worry, it’s okay if you do, I’ll be whatever you want me to be. If you’ll only look at me in the suit, I’ll fuse to my skin so it never comes off. Chris says it makes me more approachable anyway, “less annoying and punchable.” Maybe you think the same, maybe you’ll finally fall for me if you think you’re dating a superhero. Maybe it’ll make you finally notice me.

┈┈・ ✦ ・┈┈

Did I say how pretty you are when you’re a little tired? You look ready to pass out right there as you lock the door to the cafe. I took your hint by the way. You don’t like Adrian, Adrian’s just a customer, Adrian’s boring, Adrian’s a dork. But Vigilante, he’s exciting, he’s unknown, a mysterious protector. Although it might be a bit difficult to kiss you through the suit, I'll work it out when we get there.

Normally, I try to stay unseen when I walk you home, just making sure you're safe from distance, but I see now, you want to take it a step further. Does this mean you want me to call you my girlfriend soon? You’re already my girl, whether you realise it or not and I’m already all yours. Maybe you’ll want to keep it casual, that’s also fine by me, not that I’ll allow anyone else to get close to you. If you just want me as your loyal dog, that’s also okay. Anything as long as “yours” is in the title. 

It’s so romantic tonight – just us, the sunset and the moon already peaking out. Is this like our first date? I would’ve brought you flowers if I knew. Chris keeps telling me to just ask you out, but I don’t want to mess it up; it needs to be perfect for you. You deserve nothing less. It needs to be as perfect as you, my perfect girl.

I wonder what your hair smells like. Surely something as sweet as you – like vanilla with a bitter hint of coffee lingering from the day. I wonder if there’s a way to bottle the smell of you. That way I could carry it around whenever I missed you, which is all the time. I’d love to run my fingers through your hair and finally see if it’s as silky as it looks. 

I wonder what your favourite animal is? Maybe a hedgehog? It would definitely be something cute, maybe a kitten. It had to be something as adorable as you. The way you’re running down the street reminds me of a scared little bunny. Maybe a bunny is your favourite animal? 

What’s gotten you worried, angel? You keep glancing over your shoulder like something is hunting you down. I promise you’re always safe when I’m around. I’d never let anyone get close to you, you're my perfect girl. I’ll never let anything happen to you. You know that, right? I just wish we didn’t have to play pretend anymore. 

But you are worth the wait. If you want to take it slow and let me prowl the streets for you, that’s okay. I’m just happy to be the one who keeps you safe. You’re smart, though, I see you’ve learnt – locking your door as soon as you get in, checking every window, throwing the curtains shut. I’m so proud of you. I like to think you learnt that from me. 

There’s no need to be scared though, I’m here. I’ll keep watch while you peacefully rest for the night. You should really get your bedroom curtains changed though, because they show your entire silhouette. I can’t help noticing that even your outline is cute. I’d hate for some creep to watch you get undressed, but that’s why I’m here, to make sure no one even comes within five metres of your apartment. 

Chris wanted me to join him tonight, but I couldn’t stand down from my post. Sacrificing my evenings to make sure you're safe, is the least I can do. You're worth every sacrifice, even if that means not spending time with my best friend. Imagine if something happened to you while I was away? I’d never forgive myself.

┈┈・ ✦ ・┈┈

Then there you were, like clock-work, back behind the counter, pouring your love into each drink. If you didn’t think it was weird, I’d happily stay here all day and watch you. Maybe I’ll order a drink to sit in today, just so I can spend a little longer with you. Maybe a one with foam, so you can do a cute sunshine pattern for me like you always do. Then we can chat for a little longer, I can tell you about my made-up job and I can finally find out more about you. 

But why is it you look so sad today? You know it pains me to see you not smiling. I’ll do anything to make you smile and I’ll kill anything that wipes the smile off your face. Why does it look like you haven’t slept? I stood guard all night to keep you safe. Did something happen after I left? Is this all my fault for not sacrificing an extra two hours of sleep?

I stayed until 4 AM, I saw your bedroom lights flicker off at 12 PM - did you wake up after I left? Did something wake you up? Did someone? I’ll never let anything bad happen to you, whether that be a bad night of sleep or anything else. I will cut anything or anyone, piece by piece if they’re the cause of the frown on your face. There wouldn’t be a safe place to hide. 

I’m sorry. I should’ve never left. It’s all my fault. I gave in to sleep and now your eyebrows are doing the crinkly thing they do when you're stressed. I’m sorry, I let you down. But I can fix this, I promise. Sadly, I’ll have to sacrifice our routine morning coffee date, but if it’s to keep you safe, I’ll do anything. I hope you don’t miss me too much this morning.

You don’t need to worry anymore. There won’t be anything, or anyone to worry by the time I find them. What would you prefer, death by gun or death by blade? A gun is more impactful, more finite but it’ll be over too quick. I don’t think it should be quick. I think you’d want me to take pleasure in dragging out their death. An hour of pain for every hour of sleep you lost, I think that’s fair. I only have my basic knife with me but that’s never stopped me before. 

┈┈・ ✦ ・┈┈

I spent all day tracing steps around your apartment, to turn up nothing. Not even the homeless guy I bribed with twenty bucks had any intel. What could have you so worked up? It can’t just be a bad night's sleep, because I know that face – heavy lids, hair always a little messy and your voice has this shaky quietness; you’re upset about something. 

Maybe I should do something for you? Maybe then you’ll smile. I should head back to the cafe too, I’ve got to check you’re ok. Then make sure you get home safe. I’m sorry, you’ll have to tolerate Adrian today. I don’t have time to head back for my suit.

It looks like the lights are already dimmed inside. I really don’t want to be one of the annoying customers who comes in just before closing.

  “Fuck!!”

You stare at me startled, like a fearful little kitten, dropping the bin bag in your hand. 

  “Oh god–you scared me. Thank god, it’s just you,” you say with a smile, clutching your chest in relief.

Thank god – it's me? And you’re smiling? Smiling that it's me. Happy that it’s me.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you! I was just running late today and wanted to see if you were still open.”

You sigh in relief, “Well, I was just closing up.. But if you can do me a favour, I can make you whatever drink you want.”

A favour? From me? Whatever you asked right now, I’d do it. Rob the bank next door, done. Kill any guy who left his number in the tip jar, done in a heart beat. I’d even drink five coffees back to back for you. Anything.

You escort me back into the cafe, locking the door behind. This is so romantic. In a coffee shop all alone, it’s dark out and you need a favour from me. This definitely classes as a date now. I can’t wait to tell Chris tomorrow how we finally went on a date. This is the first time you’ve recognised me beyond small talk over the till.

  “Here you go.”

You placed the mug in front of me. My usual, cappuccino with five pumps of caramel and whipped cream. You remembered my order.

  “You know my order?”

  “Oh yeah, you come in a lot, so I guess I just memorised it after a while.”

You know my order. You noticed me. You noticed me enough to remember the drink I order every day. 

  “Sorry, I’m asking you this but you drive, right?”

   “Yeah?” 

   “This is so ridiculous of me to ask, so please feel free to shoot me down, but if you’re not busy could I possibly ask for a ride home? Like, completely ok if you’re busy – like of course you’re busy. I was just thinking if you’re going the same way, or even like five minutes down the road. It’s just that things have been weird at the moment..”

You’re so cute when you ramble. 

  “Yeah sure! I’d lov–I mean, of course.”

  “Are you sure?”

If you’d ask me to cut off my pinky finger right now, I would’ve. Spending longer with you is a blessing, not a favour. I would pay money, if I had any, for the opportunity to drive you home.

  “Of course! My car is just down the road.”

I don’t think I’ve ever been this close to you before. Sure our hands had brushed over the counter, but I’ve never been side-by-side with you like this. You have that worried look on your face again, the one where your eyebrows are all droopy, your eyes are glossy and you’re nervously biting your lip. 

  “Are you ok?” I ask, holding the car door open for you.

  “Yeah, I’m fine, just a little on edge is all.”

Now you’re doing that cute thing when your bottom lip pouts slightly.

  “You can talk to me about it, if you want, I mean we’ve got the whole drive back.”

You took a second to respond, like you were mulling over your answer, before you stutter, “I kinda have a stalker.”

   “A stalker! Who? Do you know them? Someone from work? What’s their name?”

A first name and a rough description and I can have them dead by the morning. Their neck wrung out like a dirty piece of laundry. I would make it painful, I promise. I would butcher them into such tiny little pieces there wouldn’t be anything identifiable left. It would be like they never existed – a piece of dirt wiped off the map forever, like a bug on my windshield. 

 “I actually don’t know them, I’m still not really sure, but I think I know who it is.”

 “Who do you think it is?”

My fists are gripping the steering wheel so tightly I’m worried it's about to rip off. You don’t even need to spend another second worrying about this, as if this sucker will be still breathing within the hour. I promise I’ll take pleasure in it too. I’ll savour every scream, every plea for help. I’ll film it for you if you want – their last breath. 

  You sigh, “I wasn’t sure at first, I’m still not too sure, but it started with following me home after work. I wasn’t sure I was being followed home at first, then the other day they didn’t even try to hide, then all night I could hear rustling in the hedgerow and I swear I could see them still. Then when I saw that suit, I recognised it, it was that guy on the news, that Vigilante guy.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK. You must have mistaken me for someone else? Surely? I was protecting you. It was this other guy who was making you uncomfortable, not me. He even waited until after I left to start prowling. 

  “Vigilante? The superhero guy?” I choke out. 

  “Superhero? You mean serial killer?”

  “Oh from what I heard he just kills criminals and bad guys, maybe the news twisted it..”

  “Well, whatever he is, he wants to kill me.”

  “Kill you? Why would he want to kill you? You haven’t committed any crimes – have you?”

I would never want to kill you. You’re my perfect girl. How could you think I’d want to kill you? I love you. You’re everything to me. Could not feel the love radiating off me? You have to know how much I love you. Please, I’d do anything for you, you have to see that. I’ve been protecting you this whole time. How can’t you see that? 

If it’s truly me who’s made your eyebrows knot together, caused the sleepless bags under your eyes, I’ll pay the price. Whatever you want – Vigilante’s head in a noose, a gun to my temple, anything.

  “What reason would they have for following me home all the time and making it so obvious like it's a threat?”

  “Maybe he’s protecting you?”

  “Protecting me? By terrifying me? Why–I just don’t understand,” you sigh, choking back a sniffle. 

You unsuccessfully try to bite back the tears, until they break free, streaming down your face hot and fast, staining your cheeks. 

  “Don’t cry, please don’t cry. I’m sure he’s not after you. Maybe he's after a neighbour? He wouldn’t kill you or even want to attack you. I'm positive. He seems like a nice gu–he only kills criminals, so he wouldn’t want anything to do with you, he’s likely just keeping you safe.”

I never meant for this to happen. I love you. I was only trying to protect you from the world. Keep you safe, keep you as mine. I swore to kill anything that did so little as make you frown and now I’m the one who has made you cry. I don’t deserve to breathe the same air as you. I’m not worthy of being alive. I hope you’ll forgive me. After this I’ll leave, no more coffee dates. I’ll still make sure you get home okay, but you’ll not see me. I’ll dedicate the rest of my life to killing anything that harms you. 

  “This is my place here.”

  “Oh, right” 

I already knew, of course, but I don’t want to upset you anymore. 

What’s this feeling in my chest? I think my heart is actually breaking into two. You’re sitting opposite me in the car and this is the last time I’ll talk to you. The last time I’ll get to see your pretty face this close up. I might just die tonight. Let my body rot away in this very seat. At least I’d have the memory of where I last saw you.

  “Thank you for the ride, I really appreciate it. Coffee is on me tomorrow!”

You didn’t know there was going to be no tomorrow. But god, you’re smiling at me again. 

 “Don’t worry, happy to help! C-can I walk you to your door? Just to make sure you get in safely.”

 “Please, I felt so rude asking, especially after you went out of your way to drop me off.”

You’re being so sweet and you don’t even realise that I’m the cause of your stress. The same guy you’re thanking, is the one you think is trying to murder you. I want to tell you it’s me. That you don’t need to worry, I was only checking you’re ok but then you’d hate Adrian too.

  “I’m sorry to drag you into this drama,” you laugh, “thank you for the lift, I really appreciate it.”

  “Anytime! Do you want me to hang around in the car to make sure he doesn’t show up after I leave?”

  “No.. it’s ok.”

  “You sure?”

  “What if he is some crazed stalker and you become his next target?”

Are you worrying about me? Does that mean you like me?

  “Don’t worry, I have nowhere to be. Anyway, I can handle it.”

I can see you wrestling with whether to let me stand guard or not. It doesn’t really matter, I will be no matter what. Even though the “threat” is actually me, I still don’t want to risk anything happening. If it puts you at ease knowing I’m watching, that’s even better.

  “Are you sure? Really? You’d do that?”

  “Yeah, of course. I can just park down the road and watch from there.”

  “No-no-no, just come in, safety in numbers or whatever they say. You’re literally a sitting duck in your car.”

You’re inviting me in? Adrian. Adrian who comes into your work everyday. Adrian who didn’t stand a chance with you. Not Vigilante. I won’t mess this up, I promise. Every moment I’m graced with your presence I’ll count as a blessing. I’ll barricade this house, buy you a gun, anything so you feel safe.

Your apartment is cute, just like you. Every inch is decorated like a reflection of you. Plus countless artworks and posters that I need to take note of. The more I make us have in common, the better. It feels like I’m inside you in a way. This is all so you, so personal. It feels like I’m seeing another side of you, getting to know you deeper.

  “Ah shit, I’m such a bad host, can I get you a drink of anything?”

  “Don’t worry, I’m ok.”

You’re so cute when you’re flustered.

  “Oh my god! Fuck–I left the window open! You don’t think they got in, do you? Fuck, I can’t believe I did this.”

  “Shhshh, It’s ok. Let me check, you stay here.”

  “No don’t, I’ll call someone. They’ll kill you, I’ve seen what they can do on the news.”

  “Don’t worry, I carry this,”  I say, waving my gun, “wait here.”

Your bedroom. I dreamt of what it looked like. It was too real standing here – stuffed teddies on the bed, sketchbook strewn over the desk, the jewellery I’ve seen you wear on your nightstand. This was everything I dreamt of. The perfume you wore, the clothes you kept buried at the back of your wardrobe, the cute pj set you had laid out for the night. I wish I was seeing it under different circumstances. It felt bittersweet, like a prisoner's last meal before execution.

I had to spend some time in there, not because I was snooping, but because I had to make it believable that I was tracking down this imaginary stalker. While you stood waiting nervously for me at the bottom of the hall.

  “All clear,” I call.

I wish I could frame your face right now. You look so happy. Happy with me. Tears are starting to prick the corner of your eyes. You turn, flopping your arms over me. Are you hugging me? Or did you just fall? You can’t be hugging me, right?

  “Thank you, I can’t tell you how relieved I am,” you say, pulling away.

You hugged me. You hugged me. I’m definitely dreaming. I’ve fallen asleep in the back of the van and Chris is about to scare me awake. This can’t be real. You hugged me. Why would you hug me? Do you even like me? I thought you didn’t even notice me.

  “I can take it from here. I’m sure you’ve got places you need to be.”

Why are your cheeks red? Are you hot? 

  “I can leave my number, so you can call if he comes around again.”

  “Oh, thank you.”

  “Do you want my gun too? I can leave it here, it’s really easy to use.”

  “Hah-that’s ok, I wouldn’t even know the first thing about how to use it anyway. I’m just going to watch some TV and try to sleep, probably unsuccessfully-hah.”

  “TV? What shows are you watching? Do you have Breaking Bad on box set? Chris and I started binge watching the other day. It's so good.”

  “I mean do you want to stay a little longer? Only if you want to. I don’t want you to feel like you have to babysit me, but I’d be welcome for the company.”

Then there you were, legs curled up against you as you sat next to me. You’re so close to me I can’t concentrate. I can’t make out if your eyes are shut from the way you’re huddled. I know it’s wrong when I’m the one who made you so upset, but I can’t help myself. It’s like telling a bee to not go near honey. I need you to survive. I think if I had to stay away from you, I would die, just implode into flames. Maybe if I can make you smile, make you even a little at ease, it’ll be okay. Then maybe you can love me again, maybe. 

Your head falls into my shoulder – I can’t help tensing up. I’ve dreamt of this exact moment so many times. I can’t actually believe it’s happening. You, my perfect girl, asleep on my shoulder. If a butterfly wants to come possess my body and tear through me like a shredder, I can die happily now. 

I freeze, you’re nuzzling further into my chest. You're cradled into my arms with your face pressed into my neck. What do I do? Is it wrong if I put my arm around you? I mean, you like Adrian but are terrified of Vigilante. So you like me but are terrified of me. This is so wrong. I can’t pull myself away, not when you’re so peaceful. I wonder if you’d be embarrassed if you woke up right now? Does this mean you like me, or are you just tired? I just don’t want this to end. Freeze my body right now in one of those cryogenic chambers. I’ll gladly stay here forever. 

But I can’t stay, you don’t know it’s me. I can’t start something this special on the basis of a lie. Imagine if you found out? I’m the serial killer that you think is out to murder you. It’s so hard to pull away right now. I think it might be one the hardest things I’ve ever done, slipping out of your warm embrace. I just can’t stay. If you knew, you’d agree, or cry again. I don’t want you to cry ever again and I especially don’t want to be the cause. 

So I’m leaving a note, just in case you wake up in a panic. I roughly scribble down my number followed by:

Call me if you need anything and I mean anything! Adrian ♡

You’re still peacefully asleep when I slip out the front door. I’m scared that if I stare too long I'll crawl back beside you. Don’t worry, I locked the door behind me and slid the key back through the letterbox. I’m really leaving anyway, only just from your side. I’ll hang around outside. Maybe a bit further down the road so you don’t spot me this time.

I wonder what you’ll say next time I come for my morning coffee. Will you be mad I left? I wonder if you’ll want me to drive you home everyday. I’ll happily drive you anywhere you ask. I guess this officially kinda makes us a real thing now. I can’t wait to tell Chris how you fell asleep in my arms.

┈┈・ ✦ ・┈┈

Bonus pic: Adrian "not drinking" his daily coffee

If you were a part of Project Butterfly, especially shortly after its conception, you’d know exactly why, at the end of a long day, you wouldn’t want to go out for drinks with your coworkers. This covert government operation is composed of competent but ultimately volatile personalities who are constantly at odds with one another. So it’s a good thing you aren't.

However, you are present at the Compulsory Team Building Night Out. Adrian checked with the team first if he could invite his totally cool girlfriend, and they gave him the go-ahead because they know her: Sharon Osborne. Not that Sharon Osborne.

The point is, they didn’t take him seriously. But you could hear a pin drop when Adrian Chase, yes- their Adrian, walks in with a real life, flesh and blood woman on his arm. It’s the quiet hum in the air after social factions splinter off- really the antithesis of this occasion.

Among them is one Christopher Smith, who still knows him as Gut’s weird little brother who played DnD all the time. Adrian gets pulled into some strident conversation across the bar, leaving him just enough window to slide up next to you at the bar.

“So. You're…dating him?” Chris, the old meathead, gives a good natured head nod towards where the man in question is arguing about the Sarlac Pit with the other one in glasses.

“Adrian?” You sip from your glass. “No.”

“Yeah,” he sighs with conversational empathy. “I wouldn’t blame you…”

“But we live together.”

“With his mom?”

“No. We have a place.”

“-and you’re not….?” Chris makes a gesture you can't interpret. How’d a geek like that nail a smoke show like you? Does Adrian keep the mask on when you do it? So many questions you seem so unkeen on answering.

Your half-shrug, half-head-shake of a response does nothing to clarify the subject. So he leaves, even more confused, and moves on to the corner where those two are doing their nerd thing.

Chris gives him the same head nod, this time towards you. “What’s with her?”

“Y/N?” Adrian turns where Chris gestures for the sake of looking at you. “She’s awesome!”: a phrase that rolls over everybody's brains the way blood beads up on Kevlar from how many times they’ve heard it.

“Yeah- but I mean what’s with you two? Do you do stuff?”At this point, Chris wishes he’d just admit you were a coworker’s cousin. But he doesn’t seem to be relenting any time soon. You wave at Adrian.

Only then does he look back, shaking that lovesick look from his face. “Yeah, we do tons of stuff! Like, last week we went to the movies, and-“ An idea flashes behind his thick serial killer glasses. “Wait, do you wanna go with us sometime?“ And there Adrian goes to run the idea by you, leaving him with Economos.

“Dude. You just committed us to a movie we don’t even know?” Chris blinks.

And you seem so cool. So… normal. Everything, down to your polite smile and wave on your way out after a night of him trailing on your heels like a lost puppy. Adrian, on the other hand... “Sorry’t beat it so early, but we are getting biz-zay tonight! so…” he punctuates his exit with finger guns

Adebayo, who’d spent the past thirty minutes hearing about your board game nights, gets up to call out after him, “I- that doesn’t mean what you think it does, Adrian!”

Then, one may wonder, what on earth could ‘getting busy’ mean? With a sigh, she succumbs to that social pressure to explain, “It’s- they’re going back to her place to play ‘Settlers of Catan’.” Equally exasperated by the evening’s nonsense, Chris glances after where the door swung behind you two. “Of course those- what's Catan?”

“It’s like DnD, but with colonization. You collect resources, and-” Economos trails off before straightening with a blink, “Why didn’t they invite me? I’m, like- awesome at Catan.”

Coming to a realization of his own, Chris snaps his fingers. “That's it! It’s a roleplay thing, like a sexy maid- she could be a sexy barbarian or something!” Crickets.

“Sexy barbarian? Really?” Chris gives him a look that says ‘like you could come up with something better’, which Economos obliges. “Sexy bard, sexy Teifling, sexy rogue-”

Caught in the middle of this argument she unexpectedly started—not the first in her one week of being on the team—Adebayo blurts out, “An elf?”

“Yeah, sexy elf!”

Chris looks between the two of them. However long this operation is slated to take, it is going to be far too long. “Fuckin’ nerds...”

The next morning, all the evening’s conversation topics are forgotten except for one. “I mean, she seems really nice! Maybe they just have a lot in common.” Considering how difficult it is to juggle her own relationship and work, Adebayo finds something very sweet in the sentiment that someone like Adrian could find love.

Harcourt, who’d spent that night watching this go down from the bar and whose keen sensitivity to bullshit outweighed any kind of sentimental, romantic notions, has her own perspective. “She’s normal. Too normal,” she says, punctuated by a sip of her coffee. “I think we should keep an eye on her.”

Whereas Harcourt’s image of you was something more akin to a Bond woman seducing info from Adrian, Chris flat out assumed you’d been paid to go out with him. “So what? He’s my friend and he’s gettin’ some- good for him!” Narrowing her eyes, he’s met with that impenetrable wall of cynicism. “Does everything have to be about sex with you?”

The door to the video store-turned nerve center of the task force dings and in struts the man in question, like Bloody Mary. That conversation ceases to exist.

“Hey, buddy! How was it?” Chris high fives Adrian as if he’d just scored a Super Bowl winning touchdown, to which the latter replies, concerningly enthuastic, “We went all night!”

Next to all this jocular anthuasaim, Harcourt, and now Adebayo turn to Economos with clear accusation. “It’s a real game!” he insists, convincing nobody.

The above lapses her mind for a moment when Ads fights off a smile at the unmissable lightness in Adrian’s step as he half-hops over a box of forgotten VHS tapes. You could stealize medical equipment with how hard he’s glowing. “So… who won?”

Sitting down at a desk with a spare, untraceable A.R.G.U.S. computer, Adrian glances up. “I won by default because Y/N cheats.” Unaware of the entire office dropping whatever they were doing at that admission, he opens up Snake.

“She- she does?”

“Yeah…” Adrian beams with admiration, his mind drifting to some unbearably fond memory. “Sometimes she kisses me to break my focus.”

There’s this very rare and beautiful natural phenomena that happens when two perverts are in love- moreso, the same variety of pervert, such as you and Adrian are. And how, you ask, did this all arrange itself?

You needed someone to share the rent. Adrian wanted to move out of his mom’s.

Outside the coming and going at odd hours, and the tinge of concern you felt at his neat constant sporting of some limp or conspicuous bruise, Adrian was a considerate housemate. He never ate your leftovers or left dishes in the sink. However, there are some personal boundaries you have with the people you live with that Adrian spent thirty years without.

For example, that evening early on, when he barged into the bathroom when you were- “Adrian!“ you huff, hurrying to cover yourself with your shirt. “What are you doing?”

Only then does he squint at you, sleep pants low on his hips. “Brushing my teeth.” Spider-Man bandaids crisis cross scabby knuckles where he holds his toothbrush for emphasis. You wonder to yourself where the cameras are, and if you’re in some TV show set up. “Yeah, but-“

“You’re peeing. I mean, it’d be weirder if you didn’t pee…” And he goes back to brushing his teeth. After a few seconds, he speaks around a mouthful of foam, “And I wasn't judging your bush! Everybody has pubes.” This is how you met Adrian Chase.

In the months that follow, he disseminates through your living space. It’s small things: unmarked packages of gun oil in your mail box, bloodstains on the laundry you take turns doing, odd salves and medications in your bathroom cabinet. But as strange as it seems, there’s a new normal in this.

Every time you forget an empty glass on a table, there goes Adrian: washing, drying, and returning it to the cabinet with its friends. Like clockwork. For someone so mentally disorganized, everything in his life has its place.

You meander into his room one day, as you do when your concepts of personal space have relaxed, and find this reflected in his cases upon cases of weapons: not just guns, but nunchucks, and brass knuckles, and so many combat knives…

“So… you're really into the military?” Adrian looks up from his desk and the magazine he was servicing, realizing you were talking about the weapons. “Oh? No, I just like ‘em!” he says, the same way some girls just like horses.

That’s his cover, the same way you called eachother friends. The truth is far too messy to ever stick a label on and package. There’s nothing romantic when you lay on the couch, bodies falling eachother in that sleepy, narcotizied state while some violent movie you’ve seen a million times plays on low volume in the background. That’s what close friends do.

“Did you know that Douglas Adams theorized that dolphins were actually the smartest living things on earth?” Adrian mumbles as you run your fingers through his hair. “We see them goofing around in the water and whistling for fish- and we think they’re stupid for that. But, I mean- look at us, coming up with taxes and whatever. That’s more work...”

You hum, “Mmhm…” It wasn’t quite sexual attraction in the way you don’t want to fuck modern art. You relish his easy, dead eyed innocence that gives way like overripe fruit under a thumb.

Call it a lapse in impulse control: the unbearable warmth to how you handle Adrian, cupping his face in your hands and tilting to one side. “When you die,” you purr in your best Melina Mercouri, “I will take your skull, and keep it on my mantle.” Adrian’s giggle veers drunk as you mess up his hair, letting him fall against your chest.

It’s these little excuses: the crowding around the window to look at a peculiar bird, you pretending to kiss him goodbye before work. Maybe it was more romantic than you wanted to acknowledge.

But in the same respect, this sort of thing was inevitable. Two adults with needs and desires sharing the same space, having gone most of their lives having said needs and desires unfuffiled- these things manifest in weird ways. Anyways, he started it.

It’s the laundry. Every other work, something goes missing from your laundry, and a few days later, Adrian comes across the garment in question. You find a pair of underwear folded up on your dresser, and you think nothing of it. Until you start putting things together.

Your average person wouldnt preform this leap of logic, but this is you. Within seconds, a terrible curiosity festers in your gut as to this unsaid thing. That Adrian finds you so painfully desirable that you, what- intimidate him, into jerking off with your underwear? Your brain reframes every interaction you've had, ever.

And while you would be content feelimg all warm and fuzzy that you were the source of this depravity, it would be remiss to ignore your own perversions.

It’s not uncommon for you to end up passed out in Adrian’s room, in his bed, after you’ve spent the whole night joking around in that ditzy, sleep deprived headspace. He’s telling some story about Chris, “Yeah! And that would become their name for the rest of their life- that’s just who he is!”

“Thimble? Fucking- oh my god…” trying to pull yourself together from your fit of giggles, you sink back into his sheets with a huff. Half listening, your self control buckles just slightly, as you and turn your head just a few degrees, taking a deep inhale of whatever clean shampoo over that intrinsic, musky guy smell lingered on his pillow.

“…what was that?”

“What?”

“What you just did!”

The lack of accusation shocked you more than being caught in the act. The thought that your behavior might be weird or off putting hadnt even crossed your mind. “Your sheets smell nice. Y’know… guysmell,” you explain, floundering. Heat creeps up the sides of your neck. “It’s no worse than when you-“

“When I what?” Your nerves pool around your ankles as the room shrinks to coffin size. You’d expected even a nervous tremble in Adrian’s voice. You’d forgotten who you were dealing with. “Oh! That,” his face lights up in recognition, mortifyingly sincere. “I mean, I’m not some pervert! I washed them after- It’s fine.”

You and Adrian meet eachother’s gaze, and it’s like an animal seeing itself in a mirror for the first time. Truth is, you’re his second best friend. Adrian didn’t wanna gross you out if you didn’t like him how he likes you- which you do. But people are weird like that.

Abruptly, the confrontation changes. “Yeah?” Shifting onto your side, you reach out in the moonlight and tangle a hand in his hair like you’d done a thousand times before. “Well… I think you are.” Your voice drips like honey as you scoot closer to press your face agsinst his neck, gently craning his head back to access more pasty white throat. “I think… you're a filthy, disgusting pervert. And if you get to steal my underwear, I think I deserve something in return. For being so nice about this…”

Your hand moves to his shoulder, testing. Adrian nearly flips himself over onto his back, staring up with pure adoration behind his blown out pupils as you shift on top of him. His hands hover around yoru waist, unsure if he’s allowed to touch you. “Is this, like- a sexy, roleplay thing now?” He’s a little nervous. Cute. You nod, and he smiles. “Awesome...”

The following Monday, Harcourt storms in the front door of HQ. “All they do is watch TV and play board games!” exasperated, her mind makes the leap of answering questions people haven't asked yet, storming across the office. “Adrian and the girl- that’s it. She built the fucking lego Death Star with him for twelve hours!” Seeing this behavior from the composed adult who this whole operation frequently hinges on draws alarm.

“Wait, you’re telling me you had a stakeout, watching them?” Chris breaks into a disbelieving grin as if to say ‘I didn’t know you were into that’.

“-and they have matching pajamas! Hello kitty pajamas!” Where are the locusts? The oceans of blood? Is there any astral possibility that a woman of sound mind and body would yearn for that psychopath?

Economos, who was the only one doing work this early, replies without looking up from his computer, “Hello Kitty? Would've thought Spider-Man...”

The only one who can picture that—you and Adrian cuddled up on the couch in fuzzy PJ pants—is Adebayo. Tired of everyone freaking out about this for so long, she finally speaks up. “Have you ever considered maybe she just… likes him?”

It's been a few days since you started working at Fennel Fields. You had been looking for a job for months, and you had gone on so many interviews, each leaving you feeling restless. You really needed the job, then you could feel normal, like a functional member of society. After weeks and even months of waiting for at least one call, your head snapping around anytime your phone made a sound. Finally, you got a call back from the manager at Fennel Fields.

Working there wasn't bad.. It just wasn't great. Being put as a server and having to interact with people all the time was exhausting, especially with how most customers were assholes who couldn't keep their hands to themselves. You managed, though, you'd rather deal with rude customers than not be able to pay for your stuff. You'd been running pretty late on rent, but your landlord was kind enough to give you some time to pay him back, and who knows, maybe eventually it'll get better the more you work there.

It didn't.

It's only been like four days you've gone to work, barely a week, and the same dude kept coming back for your shifts to bother you. Actually, not even just your shifts, he'd come almost every day and bother the other servers, asking where you were and what days you'd work. You were sick and tired of it, you were thankful none of the servers actually told him and they all turned down his attempts, but even so it was exhausting. Not only was he bothering you daily after your many attempts at telling him you weren't interested in the nicest way possible, but you'd barely been there a week at Fennel Fields, and you were scared you’d get fired with how persistent this guy was.

You really hoped today would go differently, that he'd lose interest and stop bothering you.

You walked over to the diner and stepped into the back alley, the entrance all employees went through, you stood at the door and took a deep breath, your grip tightening on the straps from your bag, preparing yourself mentally. Your eyes narrowed, taking another deep breath in as you stepped right in through the back door. You slowly walked over to the server area and felt yourself get more and more anxious, you got the afternoon shift, and you're really hoping that he's not here this time. Feeling restless, you walked over to the door that goes into the front of the dining room, you looked through the small glass and searched across the entire dining room, your eyes slowly making their way to your section, really, really hoping his not there. 

Clearly, luck wasn’t on your side because he was right there, and, in your section. 

You sighed and your eyebrows furrowed as you stepped all the way to the back again. Back at the server area, you placed your bag on the table. You leaned on the table while taking deep breaths, attempting to calm down, but you can't help but get overwhelmed with the fact that you're gonna have to deal with him again. Thinking about that made you think about having to deal with him tomorrow, and that made you think about dealing with him after tomorrow, and after and after and over and over again.

You felt your eyes start to water out of frustration. Starting a new job shouldn't be this hard, you had just gotten this job and now you're having altercations with a customer? Incredible way to start.

"Are you crying?" you heard a voice behind you say, you snapped your head around and you were now face to face with who you thought was.. The busboy? You looked down at his chest and spotted his tag "Adrian" written on it. You haven't worked with him before, only hearing about him through some coworkers who would either say "he's.. Different?" or "he's really fucking weird dude". You stepped back and wiped the tears off your face nervously. "Oh sorry, uh it's nothing" you said trying to speak up and failing miserably, your voice coming out in a murmur.

You stepped back awkwardly and grabbed your name tag, fumbling while putting it on. He just stared at you while you did it, causing you to get even more nervous. Your tag slipped from your fingers and landed straight on the floor. You bit your lip, embarrassed at your jittery hands and bent down to grab it, only to hit your head with Adrian's as you both leaned down. Your foreheads knocked against each other and you both let out a hiss sound from the pain, stumbling back. "Sorry," you squeaked out, feeling your cheeks heat up from embarrassment, this day couldn't get worse. "You're good!" he chirped as he picked up the tag and handed it to you, a casual smile laying on his face "Thank you" you mumbled softly, still embarrassed about this whole interaction. "No problem! You’re new here right? I haven't seen you around here before, I'm Adrian!" he said with a smile that soon switched to a concentrated frown, trying to figure out if he, in fact, had maybe met you before. 

You nodded nervously, "You're right I’m new, nice to meet you, I'm" you stuttered out your name, cringing at your voice. You stared down at the floor in embarrassment, god your really bad at this, you thought looking down at the tag in your hands, finally remembering why you had it in the first place, you started fumbling with it, trying to put it on your blouse again. He didn't seem as bad as they said he was, you hoped he wasn’t thinking about how awkward you were, wait, did you have something on your face? You thought randomly, it had nothing to do with the conversation but now you couldn't help but overthink your appearance. 

He noticed the small embroidered spider on the neck of your shirt and his eyes lit up. "Dude! Is that a spider? I know so much about spiders" he said loudly, startling you out of your nervous daze. You looked back up at him and nodded, tilting your head down again and staring at your shirt. Your eyes traveled for a bit until you spotted the spider and let out a soft hum in surprise, you didn’t even notice it before, it was just a shirt you picked out by chance. "Really? That's pretty cool, I just thought the shirt looked cute" you said with a soft hushed tone. You tilted your head up and your eyes met for a second, causing you to look down hastily, the tip of your ears heating up slightly and your face flushing as your heart raced, he was kinda cute honestly. He nodded, proud at himself for noticing “Why don’t you quiz me? I bet I know more than you'd expect” he smirked as he stared at you, clearly waiting for you to actually ask him questions, almost like he couldn't wait to show off what he knew. A small smile appeared on your lips, he seemed so confident in himself, you wish you had that much courage “Okay then, uh. Uhm.. how many eyes do they have?” You asked softly, and you then realized it’s a pretty basic question that almost everyone knows the answer to. You cringe and bite your lip awkwardly, you hope he doesn’t think you don’t believe him, was that a bad question? Yeah, it was stupid, almost everyone knows it. You thought to yourself as your eyebrows furrowed, you were hoping you didn't upset him because of it, or make him think you thought less of him. “Trick question! Eyes by definition come in pairs so two” he said proudly as he put on his apron, adjusting it and tying the back while fumbling.

You looked at him entirely confused, “What? No, they have eight eyes?” You let out a shocked giggle surprising yourself in the process and covering your mouth. “Sorry,” you mumbled as your eyes drifted to the side, but he looked at you like you were the one in the wrong “No?.. I’m pretty sure the answers two” You looked at him puzzled, genuinely not believing this interaction. He frowned and you stopped, you weren't trying to make fun of him, you were just caught off guard. “No, I’m pretty sure it’s eight, maybe it depends on the species? ” you said softly, giving him the benefit of the doubt. He then looked down and placed his hands on his hips, genuinely surprised “shit” he mumbled out.

You hummed softly, smiling to yourself, you were about to say something when suddenly Dave stepped into the room. You both jolted at the sound of the door and looked over at him as he stood by it, confused, he raised an eyebrow while pointing at the two of you “What are you guys doing?” he said, his tone laced with obvious annoyance. Adrian looked at him and smirked, his mood brightening up instantly, almost as if he didn’t just moments earlier say spiders had two eyes. “Dude was talking about my incredible knowledge of spiders! Wanna test me? Come on I know basically everything” he said as he walked over to Dave. Dave sighed deeply and rolled his eyes, almost like he had heard that same thing many times before “We’re at work Adrian” he said, walking off while shaking his head in annoyance, Adrian chased behind him closely. “Oh come ooonn I know you're curious!” Their voices faded away slowly as they walked out of the room through the doors once again. You looked over at the closed door for a while and a small feeling of calmness settled in your chest, realizing that after talking to him you felt way better than before. You headed towards the doors they just left through and stepped out, walking in the direction of your section. You started feeling better about the whole situation, actually. Maybe this time you’ll be able to stand up to the guy with this new found energy.

You wish that mentality had stayed with you.

Not even after a few seconds of stepping up to him and he was already ordering you around, you were called approximately 10 times by the guy, all counted. He complained about his water being too hot, then it being too cold. He then complained about how his food wasn’t good but his plate was empty? and now he wanted another dish to replace it. You thought he’d complain to the manager about it and ask for a refund but no, he did something worse. He winked at you and said “Oh, I’m not that kind of guy, I understand how hard work is for you people, especially servers. I’m a nice guy you know” You felt puke sneak up your throat.

After he stopped complaining, you were finally walking over with the bill, relieved that he was finally leaving. “Here's the bill sir” you mumbled softly as you placed it on the table carefully. You turned around about to step away when he suddenly grabbed your wrist forcefully, you looked at him surprised, and tried stepping away. He stood up, his grip still holding you close, “Where are you going huh?” He muttered out, You felt a chill run down your spine as he stared down at you with a smirk, you felt your body go rigid. “Servers are supposed to attend to customers aren’t they? You weren’t being very nice to me today..” he said as he stepped closer into your personal space, his hold on you not wavering once.

Everything froze, you tried to speak up but the words tightened in your throat, You felt every bit of your breath leave your body as you looked at him, feeling his hold on you shift, his grip hardening against your wrist. You felt yourself start to feel nauseous, the noises and place around you blurring altogether. You tried speaking up, attempting to defend yourself, but not even a whisper fell from your lips. Your gaze traveled down to the floor, tears swelling up in your eyes, you didn’t want him to get the satisfaction of having you at his mercy, you felt even more disgusted at the thought of him enjoying every bit of this interaction, getting off to the fact that he was making you feel this way, terrified. His grip tightened forcefully, and attempt at making you look up at him once more. You let out a broken sob, the sound spilling from your lips unintentionally, echoing across the diner.

 Suddenly you felt yourself being pulled back hastily by different hands, they were callus to the touch, you noitced that as you stumbled back and looked up, shaking you from the daze you were in. There stood your protector.

 Adrian.

“Is something wrong man?” He asked, staring up at the towering man. He looked down at Adrian, his expression quickly changing to one of annoyance. “None of your business man” he spat out, clearly angry at Adrian for interrupting his little stunt. Adrian’s eyes narrowed, “Well, we are in a public place and you are disturbing everyone eating here, man” he said irritated already by the guy, his tone flattening in annoyance. 

You perked up at that and looked around, noticing the lingering stares in the diner, everyone looking over at the commotion he caused. You gulped nervously, looking back at the guy, his jaw clenching as he also seemed to notice the people looking at you guys. You placed your hand on Adrian’s shoulder in a hurry “It’s okay, Adrian, really.” You stumbled out, scared that the situation might get worse, that Adrian or anyone might get hurt thanks to you.

He looked at you over his shoulder, his eyes softening in an uncharacteristic manner, he looked back at the man and shrugged "Just trying to be a Good Samaritan," he said in a casual tone, almost too casual. The man rolled his eyes and scoffed "Whatever," he growled, fixing his jacket and grabbing his stuff from the table. He looked over at you as you cowered behind the Adrian in fear, "We're not done" the man said, a disgusting almost too calm smile spreading across his face, causing a wave of uneasiness to wash over you. He stormed out of the diner, the whole place drowned in silence. Adrian turned around and looked at you "Eh you shouldn't worry to much, he's just trying to act all macho, what can of idiot reveals his plans? If it were me I wouldn't have said anything and just waited till you left your shift" he said, a smirk laced his lips like what he said was supposed to make you feel better, obviously it didn't. 

You looked at him absolutely confused and he just stared back once again like you were the weird one, you just bit your lip not saying anything and turned around, heading towards the back once more, leaving Adrian standing in the middle of the diner, confused, like what he said was something someone sane and normal would say. 

You spent the rest of the shift nervous. Your eyes scanning the room every few seconds, watching and waiting, incase he had come back. You kept getting most orders mixed up, confusing tables and just doing a terrible job in general, you were so tired. The restless feeling never left you, you had taken like 5 bathroom breaks, just needing a minute to calm down and breathe in, the worst part? Nobody fought you about it. You felt the stares, their tone every time they spoke to you, softer, than before. They always said "It's okay" the pity laced in their voice felt suffocating, you hated it. Hated feeling weak, hated feeling like you couldn't do something, or like people thought you weren’t capable of something, you felt so below everyone else it made you wanna cry, it made you wanna scream and shout until you’re left feeling numb.

After hours of just having to take orders, talking to people, having to seat more and more people, everyone’s faces and voices just mixing all into one thing, finally, finally, your shift was over.

 It was already 10:30, closing time, and you stood in the back, putting your tag away and slowly taking off your apron. You sighed, your eyelids feeling heavy, barely being able to keep them open. You ran your hands down your face, trying to rub away all the fatigue left in you. "Hey man!" you jumped as the voice rang through the room, you looked over and saw Adrian standing by the door, a dorky smile laying on his face "Sorry!” He said softly “Anyway, you should be careful, I just saw the guy's car come back" he mentioned, too casually for your own good, like the guy hadn’t threatened you in the middle of your shift, like you hadn’t spent hours just thinking about that exact same scenario over and over again.

Your stomach sank at Adrian's words, you bit your lip and nodded "Thanks, Adrian" you muttered, your tone already defeated and exhausted, you didn’t want to deal with this, not now, not ever. You grabbed your bag and keys, sighing in annoyance, preparing yourself mentally for whatever might happen once you step out of the diner. Adrian looked you up and down, almost in a judgmental way "You sigh a lot, is that like a condition? It's not contagious right?" he said looking over at you with a puzzled expression. You looked back at him with a blank stare, genuinely, genuinely perplexed at his question, your eyes narrowing, this would’ve been cute earlier if it wasn’t for the fact that you were probably gonna get beaten up or worse by the guy waiting outside. Adrian hummed "You also do that thing with your eyes a lot, is that a face exercise? My friend does those! Though his eyes tear up and his face gets all wet" he said, his face brightening at the thought of whoever he was talking about. You looked at him and couldn't help the sigh that escaped you, maybe he was right, maybe you had some kind of weird condition like he said, but all you did though was smile. His obliviousness is actually helping your mood a lot more. He looked at you, his hands placed under his chin for support "You don't smile a lot either" he muttered out loud, almost like he’d been thinking about that for a while. You just shrugged, staring at the ground nervously "Sometimes I just don't feel like it" you mumbled softly, you grabbed your stuff as you headed towards the exit door in the back. 

You paused at the door, turning around slowly as you tried making eye contact with Adrian "See you next shift?" you mumbled awkwardly, fumbling with your shirt as you leaned your back against the cold metal door. He smiled "No, I don't work next shift, I work Friday" he said with a casual grin. You cringed and nodded, holding your bag awkwardly "guess I wont see you then" you mumbled, your voice strained. you were about to step out when he suddenly spoke up again "maybe we could see each other in some other place, like at a market! but that be weird since we haven't seen each other yet until today, but maybe I'll see you walking down the street someday" he muttered, clearly thinking out loud. You only tilted your head in confusion "or maybe just at our next shift together?" you said, still questioning how his brain works. He perked up at that, the cogs in his head turning "Right! See you then" he said with a noticeable hint of excitement, his hands on his hips. You only nodded, a small smile twitching on your lips as you finally pushed the door open and stepped outside into the cold air. 

You looked around, and soon you spotted the man right by the side of the diner, he laid against his car, which was parked in the employee’s parking lot. He was staring at his phone and perked up at the sound of the door, looking over quickly. Once he caught sight of you he smirked, placing his phone in the back pocket of his jeans, fixing the cuffs of his jacket. "Been waiting" he said slowly, crossing his arms against his chest. You only nodded softly "so I was told" you mumbled, the grip on your bag tightening as you looked at the ground, nervousness flooding your every sense, you could barely look at him. He scoffed loudly "Was it that one guy? He needs to learn to mind his business, don't you think?" he hummed, stepping away from the car and closer to you. Your throat went dry at his defensive tone, you looked up at the man slowly, feeling fear creep and lie right on your chest. "He was just worried, nothing else" you stuttered out, defending Adrian's act of kindness. The man's eyes narrowed at that, his jaw tightening "What? You got a thing for that guy or something?" he spat out with disgust, stepping even closer to you. You stepped back, both your hands holding on to your bag now "No, he's just nice" you mumbled, your voice barely above a whisper, it trembled with every breath you took. With each step he inched closer and with each step you inched further, trying to keep some distance. "I'm nice, but you still ignore me, it hurts you know?" he spoke up, his tone mimicking a pitiful one. Your back hit the wall and his feet stood right between yours, his presence was all in your personal space, it was suffocating. "You don't even smile at me, and I give you so many tips, the least you could do is give me your number right?" he grunted out, his eyes staring down at yours and his tone laced with annoyance. Your hands trembled against the straps of your bag, your voice faltering slightly "I don't.. I don't owe you anything" you managed to mutter out, barely believing the words you spoke. 

That set him off. 

His hand flew up as he gripped your chin, you let out a loud shriek as he forced you to stare up at him, your head hitting the wall behind you. "What did you say?" he said with a hoarse tone, his grip tightening, his nails probably leaving marks on your skin. You let out a loud hiss and your hands flew up, clawing at his arm as you attempted to get it off. He scoffed, "I don't think you realize.. Who your talking to? Say that again and you won't like what happens next." he spat out, pushing your head further into the brick wall, you felt yourself feel lightheaded, the force causing your head to start bleeding right onto the wall. He smirked "You need to be taught a lesson actually" he muttered bitterly, suddenly grabbing your wrist, he started pulling you forcefully towards his car. Your feet stumbled as you tried pushing him off "Let- go of me" you said in a strained voice as you tried slowing him down, putting your whole body strength into getting him to let go of you. He didn't listen, he kept pulling you along, almost dragging you across the concrete. You suddenly felt the tears fall down your face, your breath labored as you kept trying to push him off, his hold on you felt suffocating. You kept trying so hard, but you just couldn't, he was stronger than you. You felt nauseous at all the thoughts that swarmed your head, all the things he might do, and you couldn't do anything, anything at all. 

You hated being weak, you hated it so much. 

Suddenly, a gunshot echoed across the street, you felt a splatter of some sort of liquid land right on your face, you blinked open your eyes, you hadn’t even noticed when you closed them. You looked up and saw that as the man stumbled, his hold on you finally weakened. You stepped back hastily and looked at him confused. His hand had made its way onto his neck, and there you saw it, blood dribbling down onto his clothes. His gaze made its way towards you and then he started to look around, trying to find who did it, he stumbled back once more and then fell onto the ground fully. His body convulsing as the blood spluttered from his neck and onto the floor, he coughed over and over again, spitting blood everywhere. You stood there paralyzed at the scene before you, his hand stretched out towards you. Your eyes made their way up to his and there you saw as the light in his eyes slowly faded, his body finally going limp as his hand landed beside him abruptly with a loud thud, no sign of life left in him. Somehow, a sense of relief washed over you as you saw his body give out. A sick and twisted feeling of delight settled in your chest at his dead unmoving body, what just happened?

"You alright ma'am?" a masculine voice behind you asked, snapping you out of your daze. You looked over hastily and there stood none other than,

Vigilante, the infamous murderer.

 You stumbled back out of fear, your feet hitting the dead body as you backed away, you winced at that, already feeling the anxiety bubble up in your chest. He looked down at the body and then back at you. "What a mess right? He had it coming though. I took pretty long, not that long, but! It was because putting on this suit isn't easy, might have beat my record for fastest put on ever" he rambled on and you just stood there looking between him and the body over and over again. It didn't feel real, seeing a freshly dead body, meeting the killer that the cops have been trying to catch for months, it all felt too unreal. Taking notice of the sudden silence that surrounded you, you looked up and saw how Vigilante stopped talking. You felt his eyes through his red visor looking at you intensely. You held your bag once more, always doing that any time you got anxious or scared, you felt safer somehow, almost as if a barrier were covering you. He looked down at your trembling hands taking notice of your fear "Whoa! Don't worry I'm not here to kill you, haha! It's not like you did anything bad like this guy over here" he said as he kicked the lifeless body unapologetically. You winced and hummed, trying to nod along to whatever he was saying. You started looking around for any witnesses just in case, you were in the back of the diner, which was really closed off thankfully, but the darkness was just making you more nervous the longer you stood there, the dead body and the murderer who couldn't seem to stop talking didn't help that much either. 

You suddenly heard grunting noises, you whipped your head over to where the noises were coming from, spotting Vigilante crouched over, attempting to move the guy's body "God, this dudes huge" he grunted out loud as he tried to pull the body once more. You bit your lip and stared around the area, your hands started feeling jittery, like you needed to do something, and suddenly, you moved. 

You stepped back into the diner, and Adrian looked in your direction as you did, watching as the metal door closed behind you. Man, I'm gonna have to hurry up, He thought to himself as he started pulling the body up with a quicker motion, trying to hurry up the process. Suddenly he heard the door open again, more abruptly this time and he whipped his head in the direction of the loud noise.

He spotted you as you walked over in a hurry, your hands now fully gloved and he just stood there watching as you grabbed the man in an attempt at helping Vigilante move him closer to the dumpster. He shook his head and focused back on the matter at hand. Both of you started pulling the body up in the air, angling it towards the dumpster and pushing it over the lid, the body made a loud thud as it fell inside. You let out loud pants as you stared at your bloodied gloves, a guilty feeling settling in your chest once more. "You should burn them, so there's no evidence" you heard Vigilante murmur out of breath, you looked at him and nodded, biting your lip awkwardly, doing that anytime you were uncomfortable or if things just felt.. awkward. He looked at you and then started walking slowly towards you. You looked at him as he inched closer with each step. He stepped up, close in your personal space, but you didn't fear him as much as the other guy, weirdly enough, you felt almost safe. He grabbed your hands gently and took off the gloves, taking them and putting them inside a random bag he pulled out from his suit, at least, you assumed he did, you didn't even notice when he pulled the bag out. "I always have them just in case!" he chirped up and you nodded as you wiped the sweat from your palms onto your pants. He looked at your face and with his gloved thumb he swiped your cheek, the roughness of the material caused you to wince. You felt your face heat up at the touch, and he pulled his hands back apologetically "My bad! Had some blood on there, did anyone see you when you stepped in?" he asked in a hushed tone as he looked around, whipping his head dramatically in all directions, closing in to hear your answer as if it were a secret. You pursed your lips in thought and after a few seconds you shook your head "No, but Dave heard me go back inside, he just thought I was checking my stuff though, and told me to hurry up and head out.." you mumbled softly, scratching the spot behind your ear, suddenly feeling shy at his closeness. He nodded and stepped back "That's good! Make sure to leave now, so they don't think you're some kind of witness! Actually, let me-" he cut himself off as he walked over to the camera and waved at it, doing a silly dance in the process. You giggled softly at the randomness of the situation, his head moved towards you once he heard your giggle and started walking over "Hey! Don't judge my famous butt dance" he muttered, crossing his arms in defiance. You hummed softly "I wasn't, promise" you muttered as you stared at him with a soft look in your eyes and your hands fumbled with each other out of nerves. You felt your cheeks flush out of embarrassment at his attention, he looked around once more and nodded, the quietness of it all incredibly awkward.

He coughed and looked back over his shoulder "Well, I'm gonna get going! Can't stay here for too long you know" he spoke up, turning his body around swiftly as he started walking off in a random direction. "W-wait!" you stuttered out grabbing his wrist, he stopped and looked at you, you couldn't see his expression but you could tell he was surprised by the sudden movement "im still a bit... Scared! Yeah scared uhm.. maybe you could come with me while I walk home? Just for safety, If it's not a bother of course!" you stuttered out, realizing what you just asked. You looked everywhere but at him, avoiding eye contact like your life depended on it. He looked at you and a few moments went by, you started feeling anxious, hoping he wouldn't think you were weird for asking. After a minute he sighed dramatically, his shoulders slumping down as he nodded "Okay then, but just because if I follow you, you won't follow me and try to figure out my secret identity or something" he muttered with crossed arms, you could feel the childish pout form on his face from his tone. You let out a sigh of relief, nodding "Okay then, my house is in this direction" you spoke up softly, pointing in the direction you were heading. You both walked alongside each other. 

You kept thinking to yourself, there must be something wrong with you, naturally right? Because right now you're walking across the street and right beside you Vigilante, the killer, the murderer, something you've stated in your mind multiple times but still somehow it doesn't compute, is walking with you. You knew you weren't the brightest person in the world, but you didn't think you were this stupid, especially not stupid enough to actually be happy about the fact that he accepted your invite and is walking you home, not only that, you helped him hide the body, horribly hidden you might add since it’ll be found literally next time someone throws out the trash or something. The jitters you felt in your stomach were absurd, and they were not the normal ones you feel almost every day out of stress or anxiety, no, they were good ones that make your heart race and your cheeks flush, this is so below you. Looking ahead but feeling him right beside you has your pulse quickening for no reason, not a good one at least. The least you could do is be nervous, or even scared about the fact that a murderer is walking beside you, the murderer you helped hide a body! but no, you're just nervous because for some reason you now seem to be crushing on your not-so-friendly neighborhood vigilante, he’s actually kinda friendly though, you thought to yourself. 

You could hear him humming some sort of tune while you both kept making your way to your house, you guessed it was out of boredom. "Well uhm.. What made you wanna become a.. Crime fighter?" you asked softly, adjusting the bag that laid on your shoulder, trying to start up a conversation. He brightened up instantly at the question, "Well, duh! There are so many criminals in the world someone had to step in and get rid of them! Since then I've constructed my body into one of vengeance" he said with a proud tone, he started flexing in his suit dramatically, striking a weird pose with every step. You nodded softly in thought "That's.. admirable actually" you said as a small smile made its way onto your face. He looked at you, going quiet suddenly and nodded, looking in some other direction, trying to avoid any eye contact with you "yeah it's- it 's-it's whatever" he said shrugging and crossing his arms. You felt your chest go warm at his sudden bashfulness.

 In the distance your house slowly came into view, suddenly feeling the disappointment settling on your chest at how quickly the walk was. You shook your head at the thought, why were you disappointed over not being able to keep talking to a killer? You couldn’t be clearer with how many times you’ve mentioned it, You thought to yourself in annoyance at your own actions. You slowly stood in front of your mailbox and pointed at your house "Well uhm.. were here" you mumbled softly, trying not to make it too obvious how disappointed you were. He nodded and started walking towards your front door, you scrambled behind him "oh! You don't have to follow me all the way, it's okay!" already feeling like you were overstepping some sort of boundary, but he shook his head "in movies the guy always takes the girl too the door! And that's what I'm gonna do" he said with determination in his every word. You only bit your tongue, deciding not to argue. You both walked over to your front door and you grabbed your keys, putting them into the doorknob and unlocking the door. You looked over your shoulder, staring at Vigilante as he waited till you went inside. You felt your heart flutter at that, you slowly turned around and looked at him, your hands behind your back as you looked at the ground shyly "Hey.. Thanks for coming with me, I feel safer already" you hummed quietly, not really sure what you were supposed to say in a situation like this. He only bumped his fist in success, "Alright! My job here is done!" he said in an excited tone, he was about to turn around when you stopped him again, holding his wrist once more. "wait" you mumbled softly, he looked back at you an tilted his head in confusion "is that some kind of tick? You keep grabbing me" he said out loud and you just let go of him nervously, embarrassed at his comment. His hand seemed to flex tho, almost like he missed the feeling of your grip on his wrist "sorry, uhm just." you stood there awkwardly, his gaze causing you to shy away. You fiddled with the hem of your shirt, when you suddenly felt a surge of courage, you placed your hand swiftly on his shoulder, and inched in closer. 

His body stiffened when your lips pressed against his cheek suddenly, well, against the mask where his cheek is. You then stepped back, scratching the area behind your ear, a nervous habit you have. "You do that a lot too" he pointed out quietly and breathlessly, his body now slumped over in your direction, almost like he wants to be closer. You bit your lip and smiled "Goodnight Adrian" you mumbled softly, a warm feeling settling in your chest as you stepped back, leaning against the edge of your door. He coughed awkwardly and stumbled back. He straightened his posture trying to act cool "Mhm yeah uh Goodnight" he said softly, mumbling your name right below his breath as you headed inside your house, leaving him standing there on your porch flustered. 

He smiled to himself as he walked away, kicking a rock that was in his way, still trying to act cool, I can't wait to tell Peacemaker what just happened! I told him I could bag chicks, he thought proudly to himself, rethinking the moment over and over again with a boyish excitement, when suddenly, he stopped dead in his tracks. 

"Wait- did they say my name?" 

- authors note: hope you enjoyed!! Wanna say once more, english is NAWT my first language so sorry for any mistake😭. I had this idea cooking up in my head for a long few months, I’m finally in my summer break so I’ll probably be able to post more teehee ˃̶͈◡˂̶͈