10 Indicators of Unhealed Trauma
Unhealed trauma can sometimes look like:
1. An inability to relax and feel safe in relationships. Always being afraid that the relationship will end, or you’ll be supplanted by someone else. Having a deep fear of abandonment.
2. Having a deeply ingrained sense of shame. Believing there is something badly wrong with you. Believing you are deeply flawed at your core.
3. Having a fragile self-esteem. Never feeling you are truly good enough. Believing you don’t deserve to be wanted, loved, respected, valued, and treated as well as other people.
4. Craving external validation. Needing constant reassurance from others.
5. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Being afraid to relax in case things fall apart. Living with high levels of anxious. Feeling you are always on high alert.
6. Feeling you have to change yourself for other people (in order to be loved, or accepted by them).
7. Feeling you have to put others’ needs and wishes first. Having problems standing up for what you want and need. Finding it hard to establish boundaries – and then enforce those boundaries.
8.Tolerating mistreatment, and even abuse. Attracting and tolerating narcissistic partners, or partners with avoidant attachment styles.
9. Not taking proper care of yourself (physically, mentally and emotionally).
1o. Being afraid of conflict and displays of emotion (because they trigger painful memories).
