how should i know im just a gun a doll a toy a knife dangling from your face

i am drowning in a putrid puddle of blood and liquor and rotted water, decaying teeth and maggot larva and decades of soggy dogshit, cigarette butts and the phlegm they caused, the solvents and the vapors and the bile and the tears, ashes from a world engulfed in flame. i awake with the usual gasp and feel the ghostly hands pushing my face deeper into the puddle that will soon become concrete. i hear cackling. i wish i killed you when i had the chance. to live is to suffer as to learn is to pay; but the knowledge of a breath of air cant be bought, only promised. and also now i definitely have a cold :/

eleven eleven make a wish =^w^= i wished it would rain again today and yeah its raining. i dont think i ever actually wake up the nightmare just spreads to my flesh. i am sitting in my truck and it just keeps pouring in through the broken window i think im going to drown God almighty im going to drown i tell the truck if it would save you from drowning, i would set my self on fire for you. she says you know i cant swim right i lied about that sorry you know its easier if you just think of me as a doll that you imagined life into.

it rained today in my head. i drag corpses everywhere i go and their unhappy ghosts never lend a helping hand. i awake with a gasp and the nightmare gets worse. i am standing in a field with a gun in my hand, purple prarie grass growing as far as the eye can see, golden hair waving in the breezy sunlight as putrefaction carries on.