drown in your tears.

            she wasn't   stupid   (   although contrary to popular belief   ),   she knew there had to be other members to the mafia under which some of the most important in her lifepeople worked under.   it was just cicrumstances of having met them all and it seemed that jin was the next one on the list of people to be checked off   !   she's aware that her response to his cheesy pick - up line could be seen as rather disrespectful,   especially if the person on the receiving end didn't know her personality all that well   --   which so happened to be the exact situation that was unfolding before her very eyes.   and it's time like these that hyeon realizes she really should try to behave better but she's always been spitfire,   like turpentine and a matchbox,   the perfect recipe for disaster.   though much to her surprise does he laugh,   she had been bracing for the exact opposite,   but it still allows for a grin to spread along her cherry tainted brims,   eyes lighting up immediately.   his laugh was nice.   ❝   ah,   well,   that's a relief.   i was mentally preparing for the worst.   ❞   his gaze doesn't bother her all that much,   she's rather used to it by now after all these years working in this industry.   scrutiny was a given because she was always under a microscope but part of her wishes she wasn't wearing such unflattering clothing   ---   not that he was anything special yet,   her usual rule was to give people low expectations from the beginning because she didn't believe there was much she had to offer in the first place.   there were many times people had told her otherwise but when someone has their mind made up it's hard to get their opinion to change.   she nods once,   shifting her weight from one foot,   then another,   ❝   the name is bond.   james bond.   ❞   her composure breaks just as soon as she says the last syllable,   a laugh falling from her throat before trying to regain her seriousness,   he must think she's a mess at this point.   ❝   nah,   for real though,   i'm hyeon.   and you are   ?   although i'm not the   real   james bond you look like a spy dressed like that.   ----   are   you a spy   ?   ❞

           the term   vultures   was so terrifyingly true when it came to the customers of night clubs  ━━━   hyeon had first hand experience in discovering just how true it was.   everyone was prey but the hunters were always disguised,   too clever to let themselves be   known   which only added to the danger of it all.   she’s fallen victim to the carnivores of the night once before and it had almost destroyed her,   she couldn’t   allow   such a thing to happen again   ;   it’s why she’s in such a goddamn frenzy.   bangs are covering her vision slightly as the already darkened scene seems to grow,   with vision obstructed she almost doesn’t realize that there is in fact somebody still in front of her clumsy self,   not until fingers that are like   velvet   sweep away silken strands.   hyeon had always been one to appreciate beauty and if she hadn’t already gotten the oxygen knocked from her lungs then she would be gasping all over again at the beauty in front of her.   just her luck   !   mouth opens and closes like a fish as mind that’s generally like a dictionary suddenly empties,   ❝   i’m a lot sturdier than i look,   promise   !   ❞   brow quirks and she can’t help but to let out something of a laugh,   head shaking just the slightest bit because if it hadn’t been so obvious in the first place that she was   out of place   then it assuredly was now.   finger scratches at her temple as if trying to clear up her foggy cognizance,   maybe it was the heady scent of alcohol and sweat or the elixir of a voice that this stranger seemed to have   —   it was drawing her in and hanging her up to dry.   ❝   yeah it was   …   a mistake on my part.   thought i could deal with all this but guess i was wrong.   i’m headin’ out now,   i’d suggest you do the same.   people will eat you up in there.   ❞

uh so like it's obvious i haven't been here lately and my queue is running low. being on here just feel really icky and gives me mad anxiety so i'll gonna be archiving soon, don't know when exactly but... for the time being i'm gonna be writing hyeon on my multi? like i'm not moving here there but it's just easier rn i have no energy thanks to grand ole depression LMAO but yeah! thanks for sticking around, i'll be archiving soon which means dropping every thread in my drafts -- which i know is a fuckload but most of them are just so old and there's no point. i'm really sorry about this but i'm having to do what's best for myself and hyeon. if you'd like to continue writing / plotting just let me know or something but for now, see yall later.

            it wasn't ever her intention to let things overwhelm and ultimately,   overshadow   her own mask that had been cultivated and sewn ever so   CAREFULLY.   the facade of her confidence in her artistic ability was beginning to slip the more she read because the comments were just   pouring in   at this point,   a mix of positive and negative,   it was human nature to focus on the negative at times.   maybe it was bugging her so much because she had full control over the entire process of it all   ---   the concept had been her own,   the music her own,   everything was meant to be cohesive but in the end it just seemed to fall apart at the seams.   it had been her own fault that she assumed people would be able to see what she was putting across but it wasn't exactly obvious in any way,   people can't read her mind,   much to her dismay.   lips that were drawn in a frown only seem to exaggerate more into a pout that has her looking even more childlike than she already does before she's scoffing but only so softly.   he was literally   two inches taller   than she,   if he really thought she wouldn't be able to get what was hers   ---   ❝   i'm not worried about the things people are saying,   it's not that,   i just think i'm more   ..   annoyed with myself.   i thought what i was doing would be interesting,   i guess.   ❞   lips purse and she's scratching at her neck as she's slumping into the couch,   looking like a deflated balloon.   ❝   it's my job to create content that people like   ----..   i just feel so lost.   ❞   in every sense of the word it was true,   her own short film had been created to convey that but it made no sense to anybody else.   ❝   i don't like feeling this way oppa.   i hate it,   actually.   i've always been so sure of one thing in my life and that was my music   !   and now   ...   now i don't know anymore.   ❞

            he's loud and always proud, something that hyeon has always found herself enjoying the presence of, mostly because she isn't very good at being   quiet   herself.   he's an enabler   !   he's as comfortable as he looks even with arms almost in a headlock around her throat   (   she doesn't mind really,   affection was fucking awesome   )   but it's his attitude that has her the most elated.   right up until he flicks her forehead which she fights back with an attempt to bite as his hand,   playful   (   always so   )   as a low hum of annoyance filters through her already honeyed tone.   she can hardly get a word in edge wise as she takes in the scene before her,   stomach already growling just at the sight of all the food but it's at his words that has her laughing out loud,   enough so that her head is actually falling back.   she's joyous,   almost a rare anomally these days,   ❝   it'd be better if you actually had a guitar and were strumming the chords like the guy.   seven out of ten,   could've been better presented if you ask me.   ❞   she's ducking out of his hold before he has another chance to flick her again to cross the room and settle down on the floor with every item spread before her.   mouth is crooked in a small smile as hands rub together excitedly,   ❝   i'm glad i wore sweatpants over here because   fuck   jeans after i eat all of this.   a button would for sure pop off.   ❞

            this was perhaps the most awkward situation she had found herself in,   not that it was   uncommon,   her personality made for almost any interaction with another to be fucking weird.   it wasn't ever on purpose,   she had a rough time thinking of smooth conversation or even having something of importance to say at all.   but lately she's just been   so angry   with the knowledge of her parents having free fuckin' roam in a world that should've eaten them up ages ago.   she wanted vengeance,   she wanted retribution,   and she wanted it   now.   but the truth of it all was,   hyeon didn't think she was capable of living with blood on her hands   (   even though they had plenty on theirs   !   hers included   )   and so eunbyul had been her first bright idea to pop into her head.   well,   not exactly like so,   asking around for such information was illegal in its entirety and discretion was absolutely crucial.   but money was the object of everyone's desire in this game,   nobody cared how tragic of a life you lead or if the person(s) you wanted dead even deserved it but that just so happened to be the beauty of it all.   fingers are itching in a sign of her anxiety rising   ;   maybe   this had been a bad idea after all because what if she regretted it   ?   being the mastermind to end somebody's life was   ..   a slipper slope but they had taken so much from her and was positive they would try to take more if given the chance.   this was necessary.   cracked lips are blood red from the young idol biting and chewing relentlessly and her overall appearance at the moment was frazzled to the point where one would assume she was off the rails completely.   ❝   i won't flake out on you,   i'm not that big of a pussy.   what's the rate for this type of thing anyway   ?   i asked around and got different answers but i need a set in stone price.   details are important,   i think.   ❞

            ❝   you're asking   IF   i have any liquor   ?   a better question would be what   kind   do i have,   'cause there's a fuckload.   i can make you a mixed drink,   though the liquor to juice or mix ratio might not be as good as it would in a bar.   i tend to be a bit heavy handed in the former but hey,   if you're really wanting to feel human there's no better way other than puking your stomach lining out and feeling dead to the world.   ---..   i should write slogans for alcohol companies.   ❞

            look of nonchalance with the softest hint of indignation flashes across his features,   head cocking to the side as eyes seem to scrutinize her outfit of choice.   ❝   it,   um   ---   suits you   ?   what kind of compliment are you expectin' here 'cause i don't usually do such a thing,   i receive more than i give.   i'm selfish and narcissitic but i think i've just met my match   ...   ❞   eyebrow cocks as if to make his indication all the clearer.

            ❝   i feel quite   honored   that you're coming to me for this,   TRULY   !   but in all honesty i don't think you're all that capable of making something that sucks but just in case   ---   i tend to laugh at things that i shouldn't laugh at.   just a warning,   y'know,   don't want you huffing and puffing 'cause i did the thing you said i couldn't do.   ❞

            ❝   how   sexy,   getting your mouth sprayed with saline   ?   absolutely delicious.   spray saline in   my mouth,   mija - ssi.   i won't spit   !   ❞   there's something of a cackle that rings out soon after she speaks,   following suit and cramming a few chips in her mouth.   she could be such a tomboy sometimes.   ❝   i mean,   it could be hot.   i'm willing to try all sorts of new things.   hard to believe that i surprise you though,   i'm just   honest.   ❞

            hazel hues are locked onto the blood that dots and pools along his skin and it's fucking wrong but her mouth waters,   his voice like a muffled background barely reaching into her focus but just enough to pull her out of the intense gaze.   ❝   yoongi   ---   hey,   um   ...   ❞   the lump in her throat only seems to build up the more he speaks to reassure her that it's not as bad as it looks but it really wasn't her fault that she was such a worrier.   give her somebody to care about and that's all she'll find herself doing.   nails dig into her palm for whatever reason that she couldn't quite understand   ;   anger for the fact that somebody hurt him   ?   picture this   ∶   hyeon the vengeful,   a serious crime fighter who ran around at night in fucking spandex.   she wished she could make whomever did this to him   PAY   but knowing yoongi he had already taken care of it,   besides,   what exactly could she do   ?   committing acts of violence were against her moral code but the blood in her own system is boiling just at the sight   !   how funny it was that just one person can change so much about yourself.   ❝   you made them pay right   ?   ❞   she's still standing rigidly in place,   hands at her sides with fists curled tightly as if ready to strike out but her voice is tight,   vocal cords straining to keep herself from lashing out.   ❝   i know you must have but i want to hear it   ---   need   to hear it,   actually.   ❞

            lips form into a thin line from either frustration or out of natural habit, it's hard to tell sometimes, but she's still going to try and find a way to stick around. she didn't come all this way for absolutely nothing ! attention was desired, or in her own words ∶ necessary. she perks up almost instantly, smile lines shining from besides her eyes as she grabs his empty mug. ❝ cuppa' joe coming up ! you want it black, or with cream and sugar ? ❞

          she's hoping to god or whatever the fuck is out there that he isn't  following  because at this point she doesn't exactly know how she'll react.  her chest is rising a little too fast for her liking but ignorance is fucking bliss as she stomps away but it doesn't do  MUCH  to put distance between the two and he's already biting back like she knew he would.  if there was anyone in this world who could make her feel at ease one moment but boil her blood the next it was definitely eunha and she had managed to fall for him.  how  STUPID  could she be  ?  fists curl and unfurl slowly as breathing all but accelerates,  she wants to scream until his ears bleed.  ‘  i  don't  want to insult you  for real  !  ’  she's exasperated as she finally turns to face him,  hands throwing themselves into the air as flushed features all but deflate.  this wasn't the time or place to  do this,  especially not with him.  tone lowers and voice suddenly becomes somewhat calm but her composure is far from her control,  as soon as either of them walked away she'd lose it but there wasn't a chance in hell that he'd get to see her like that.  not again.  ‘  i'm not  LIKE YOU,  i don't fucking  try  to hurt people.  i don't try to say things that i know will sting.  i don't try to do things on purpose to make other hate me.  i don't.  you can think whatever you  WANT  about how i feel about you but the point of it is that you won't  CARE,  and that's not fucking okay but you can go on and think it is,  really.  ’  oculars are feeling  strained  as she resists the urge to blink because she doesn't want to give him any sign of how much it fucking  hurts.  ‘  you can't just be in someones life and show something that resembles care and then decided to take it away.  it doesn't work that way and i get you think it works that way for  YOU  but the world doesn't fucking operate on eunha rules.  i felt  OKAY  with you and you're just taking that away and for that i can't help but to think you're the most selfish man alive.  you fucking  HURT,  do you understand that  ?  whatever your reasons are for this,   i don't  care,  don't ever suddenly start to care about me because it's convenient for you ever again.  ’