𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙡

picking anything she wanted was the hard part, but carol was never against being rewarded. she trusted her wife more than she had ever trusted anyone else. still, she whines, scooting closer to helen. "i just need you." which wasn't an answer, but carol can't focus with the way that she's still throbbing. "anything. do anything."

her tongue can feel her wife still pulsing, still coming down in waves, so she shifts over to her outer folds, sucking and watching carol's reaction for every movement. she could do this blind, she doesn't need an indication of what her wife needs, but she likes to see the same reaction come from her every time. it never gets old, and it gives her the opportunity to see if the blonde wants anything new, not that they needed it.

the kiss becomes deeper, low groans becoming muffled. it worked to keep carol quiet and it wasn't like she was going to turn down or complain about the way that helen's warm mouth felt on hers or about the way that her fingers felt inside of her. carol's hands cling to every part of her wife she can reach, a desire to kiss and touch every part of her in return.

there was nothing that she could do that would push her away, even if she slipped up and cried out before she was supposed to. there was nothing that would make her love her less, given all that they had done to build this life.

if she could, she'd cancel all of her meetings for the near future. anything to spend more time with helen. "what are you planning? tell me." it sounds desperate coming from her, a side of carol that only her wife got to experience. she bites her lip, opening her legs wider with a small whine as fingers lightly drag across herself. it pains her that helen wasn't there. "i miss you so much." carol would do anything for her, even if it meant waking up extra early. maybe she wouldn't even complain this time. "i'll wait for you in the morning. i just need to see you."

"is that going to change whether or not you cancel your meetings?" her voice is hoarse with arousal, a smile on her lips as she hears the blonde's desperation in needing to know what she planned for her. "i'll be in something like this, we'll finally get to use that toy i haven't been able to use on you. the one you're scared you won't be able to walk with." it's been her head since she missed another call with her last night, how much missing her built up with her own need. "just tonight and then i'll be there."

as much as she wants to deny it, she always found the confidence that helen had to be both attractive and very annoying when she wanted to win. carol holds out her hand, impatiently. of course she knew how to play, and if she didn’t, she would just accuse helen of picking something that would mess her up on purpose. “give me the cards.” she leans forward, a look of annoyance on her face. “what makes you think you're going to win?"

amusement gleams in her eyes even as she passes the cards over to the blonde, letting her think that she at least has some control over the course of the game. "because i'm strategic, even when i'm drunk, i'm going to win." she gives carol a knowing look, nodding her head to the cards, "go ahead and shuffle them as long as you want, it's not going to change the outcome of me beating you at this."

her arms cross, trying not to show how offended the look on her face was. it wasn't that she didn't want to get laid that night, she just wouldn't let herself. "then what is your type?" carol watches as helen takes another shot, eyebrows raised. "i don't know why you're so bent out of shape about her talking to me, then. i'm not interested in her." ever since she realized she had a crush on helen, it's like she couldn't be interested in anyone else, even if she wanted to.

in her head, with all their late nights, she thinks that carol should know why by now it bothers her when someone flirts with her, but she knows that the nights wouldn't mean the same to a straight woman as they mean to her. she wasn't drunk enough to give the reason that it bothered her, that a stranger would have a better chance with carol than she did. "because i don't want to worry about you coming back late." it's as close to the truth as she could get, eluding that she didn't want carol to go off with someone else to begin with.

‎      ‎      ‎      ‎      ‎        ‎‎‎‎‎not everything is a puzzle you need to solve. ‎      ‎      ‎      ‎     ‎      ‎      ‎      ‎        ‎( promo by @fixescrimes )

“it's not just about my mom -" yet, the mention of her is enough to cause anxiety to move throughout her body. did carol deserve to be happy? she knows that helen does. the blonde places her hand on top of hers, squeezing it. "i never said i didn't want it. but i can't."

tears that sting at her eyes fall as she registers carol's hand against her own and even with the hurt, she can't find it in herself to pull away. "maybe we can get a dog." it wouldn't be the same, it would be far from it, but it's something more realistic - taking care of something living could make carol change her mind. it would give helen hope if nothing else would.

carol could have agreed, keeping up the lie that she was straight and that she wasn’t interested in the brunette, but instead she steps closer to helen, words flowing out of her mouth quicker than she can stop them. she watches the way that the other woman’s lip quivers and it breaks her heart, even with how scared she was. “the dates were a lie. i’m sorry i -” she doesn’t know how to just come out and say it. carol had wanted to be happy for her as well, but she wasn’t. “you were going on all of these dates and i didn’t want you to pity me because i wasn’t. there were no guys. there never was." she can feel herself almost trembling with nervousness. "please don't shut me out."

she can see the way the blonde trembles and she swallows the lump that builds in her throat, thinking about how easy it could be to move on with this woman on valentine's day, someone that was available and not slip into the lack of promise that there was with carol. she grabs her hand and pulls her in close, wrapping her arms around her, "i won't, i shouldn't have. i just.." she shakes her head, "forget it, it doesn't matter, just don't lie to me again. i shouldn't have acted like that because you had a life outside of me." she had too much fun with her, a life that wasn't sustainable to have where they would only ever be friends, it would come to an end if she was dating and helen didn't want to face it. she didn't want to lose carol to a man or to anyone if she was being honest with herself.

“Are we still best friends?” “I think it was always meant to be the two of us.” “I know yesterday was… wack, but it's really not my fault, because I Googled it and Mercury was in retrograde, so, there you go.” “My job doesn't define me, my hotness and my personality do.” “I thought you were ride or die babe.” “We only text boys using emojis.” “What did that one bitch say? "A room of one's own"?” “All I can tell you is that the police got involved, and [ name ] was committed to a hospital.” “Is it crazy that I walked here without an umbrella?” “We should get matching tattoos!” “I am so fucking done with this coven!” “I guess it's kinda cool to finally have some female friends.” “Oh! Glitter miniskirts!” “He poisoned me first! A childhood full of his venom, and a slow fucking death!” “It's like we're rebelling against the patriarchy together.” “That is so thoughtful of you...” “It's not smoking it's praying.” “I condemn you, snake.” “It smells like puppy's breath and cinnamon sticks.” “It's a placebo babe. this is just what paradise feels like.” “Obvi I'm not pregnant. What if I had a boy and had to name him, like, Bob or some shit?” “I went on a hot girl jog this morning. Could someone having a nervous breakdown go on a jog?” “So what? At least I'm not fucking boring!” “You know it's bad when the scientist is scared!” “Do you have any idea what happened here?” “I curse your ugliness and your cruelty.” “Is this a coven?” “It's not our fault they married a monster.” “But like, what do you want to be up to tonight?” “Miranda Priestly would totally take you to Paris.” “It is so fucking exhausting to keep track of the way you manipulate narritives.” “What you have done to me, let it rebound on you tenfold.” “Burn it.” “[ name ] you need to be more trusting, that's another unattractive quality we need to work on.” “A snake is attempting to enter our garden, ladies.” “The Hilary Duff collab is back. Thank Goddess.” “Why do you hate me for saving you?” “Are you mad at me?” “Have you ever killed something before, [ name ]?” “[ name ] told us we were going to try something fucking lit, a hex.” “No, that doesn't sound right… anyways.” “Chino pants are a very awkward length.” “Oh, girl, it's just a matcha latte, I got you.” “No, I'm a witch. We conjure confidence here.” “You don't trust me, babe, I thought I was your BFF.” “Look, please don't tell [ name ] about this.” “As we all know, Marilyn Monroe was murdered by the United States Government on August 4th 1962.” “You know I don't believe in hierarchy in female relationships.” “If you don't do anything I'm going to tell everyone you did it!” “Well I just have enough unattractive qualities.” “I think the hex backfired.” “Forgive me, Marilyn, for I have sinned.” “Guys, I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.” “I'm sorry [ name ], do you actually fucking hate women?” “I am. I am both ride and die.” “Wait, your coffee or your latte?” “You killed your dad [ name ]!” “What did we take?” “You dimmed my fucking glow, girl.” “Our magic is the mundane shit you would have been executed for in Salem” “[ name ] and [ name ] are a part of an elite dead dad's club.” “Thank you so much. I could have used that about ten minutes ago.” “We do not take the escalator in our skinny heels.” “I have a really bad case of main character syndrome.”

carol can tell it bothers helen and she can't seem to figure out why. if they were sober, she would have moved on, claimed she was straight, and changed the subject. but there's something about it that bothers her, triggering her already weak emotional regulation. "that doesn't mean that women aren't into me." she rolls her eyes, letting out a deep sigh. "god, helen. do you want her to kiss you? is that it?" she's overreacting, hoping deep down that the brunette denies it.

she shouldn't expect the blonde's stance to change on dating women, it wasn't going to and it's what fuels her response. "i do want to kiss a woman tonight, god forbid one of us get laid." it's spiked by the heat of the moment and helen knowing that the hope of anything more was still gone, nothing had changed as much as she hoped it would, she was alone in the feelings she had. "she's not my type." she shrugs it off as her breathing settles again and she moves to take another shot, swiping it from the bar, disregarding how unsafe it was to do so.

with the photo, she can imagine what she looks like laying there. the thought is enough to cause a hitch in her throat, heat moving up into her cheeks. she imagines that helen is the one undressing her as she moves to take her pants off as well, ears listening intently to the phone.

"you're canceling at least one of your meetings when i get back with what i'm planning." it was a meeting that could be pushed back, one that she wasn't necessarily involved in, but knows that she didn't want to leave the house for at least a couple days unless it was absolutely necessary. "the real question is how much do you miss me? is it bad enough that you'll be awake early when i get there?" it was proven that she would push jet lag off as much as she could, that her need to take care of her wife would always prevail when it came down to it.

a smile spreads across her face, a mischievous look in eyes as she opens them. "you love it." carol knows she does. helen could tease her all she wanted and call her the most annoying person who had ever lived, but she knew the truth. her wife put up with more than carol thought she deserved. "thank you, baby. is that what you want to hear?" she watches her, titling her head back down so that they made direct eye contact again. "you're not always right, though."

she won't deny that she loves how loud carol is for her, it's almost as if it's the one place the blonde can't deny the way she feels about her, how much she needs her. "i do, but you're still a brat." it's her way of showing her affection and knows her wife responds to it well, her eyes are light as carol finally caves and thanks her. "it is and i am always right, name one time i wasn't." though, she doesn't give her chance as she closes the distance between them and presses her lips to the blonde's.

requested by @zambonirider