psychedelic garden

cause the smell of her perfume echoes in my head still

here we go again. my stomach begins to tighten and an overflow of memories start rushing into my frontal lobe. i wait out the storm in total silence. i can’t believe the time.

there’s a real ebb and flow to grief’s crippling weight on my chest 

it’s too exhausting to keep picking yourself up over and over again. things that seem so recent are now a lifetime away. i’m tired. 

last night, in the depths of sleep, you took my hand one more time. we walked through breathing alleys made of memories. 

what is now, and only that, is what is real. 

one of the hardest truths to learn is that love is not a zero-sum game. 

Note: If not dead, by default you have for now chosen to Carry On. Realising this, would you like to either traumatise yourself by reliving your most anguished memories or attempt to make this current period of existence as peaceful as possible? Forgive yourself, if not just for the time being.

When I look back on it, it still makes me so sad. I don’t know if that will ever go away, or if it’s even supposed to. But I know that I have learned how better to live with this. I have learned to let be what must be left to be. I can either crawl over and die, or carry on. 

you never realise which exact seconds will be the ones tattooed into your memory forever 

i close my eyes and you’re with me again, as real and as raw as the day you drove away. 

get my cat on the phone 

there is a life outside of this mental prison 

there’s a hole in my heart that’s the shape of you. i’m relieved that you’re happy but i’m still so sad. 

with a heavy heart i think of you again