god has an inordinate fondness for beetles

The detective is invited by Standard Rich Guy for a Thing at his mansion. Family and friends are present, there is a storm, they’re probably on an island. Everyone gather in the study, and Rich Guy is introducing the detective to everyone, gives a summary of past cases, praises his accomplishments, his sheer genius. “Well, detective” he says, “Solve this,” and shoots himself. This is followed by interviews, autopsy, going through letters and wills, culminating in a satisfying explanation to the whole thing. As the detective makes his way home, a taxi driver recognises him, asks to confirm it’s really the great detective in his own rusty little car, and finally if he managed to solve it. The detecive does a double take, and recognises the victim’s face in the rear view mirror. Cut to credits.

Tommy tries to make the wand acknowledge him. Casting spells, killing snape, hunting down enemies. Basically acting like a needy boyfriend. Harry sees the wand, goes “You. Here.” and the wand immediately goes “Aight cool.” In this essay I will

drops grenade on the way out

Me: doesn’t notice whatsoever

-Shrek

The World Serpent is an Eastern style dragon, flying through the sky around the world. Its body is so long that it wraps around the entire planet. It travels around the world, like the Snake videogame, crossing its own body on occasion. The head is tracked, and societies band together to present an offering when it approaces. It is thought to bring good luck if it is consumed. Many have tried to count the dragon’s legs as it travels above, but no reliable count has been publshed as of yet. It is unknown why this would be important to know, but scholars have ben aiming for that achievement for melennia. They usually die from old age before the tail arrives. Sometimes lesser dragons are seen on its back, as though hitching a ride. Most religions treat the Serpent as a god. 

Get fanlines

black leather

You

Steampunk aztecs.

but not cancer, unfortunately.