they need me

( it’s all his fault. it’s all his fault. it’s all his fault. )

if he had never been born in the first place, father would still be alive. would he not? he would. annabelle paced back & forth in her room, walls plastered with posters & things she’s ripped from the confinements of magazines & newspapers. news articles about how much of a wonderful detective her father was, solving all those murders, news articles dating back to before annabelle was even born. hands in light brown locks, tears forcing themselves to leave her eyelids. hands sliding down from her hair, covering her eyes.

      her father was dead.

annabelle knew this would happen one day, death is something unavoidable no matter how much you may try to avoid it. only lucky people don’t get to die. she sank down in her mattress, head touching her knees as she bent over. she remembers the entire conversation jonathan & her had before she stormed off to her bedroom. that she hated him, that she never wanted to see him again. things any teenage girl says at least once in her life. she knows she didn’t mean it & that she would most likely apologize tomorrow morning, and they’d hug. at least, she hoped that’s what would happen. what if she doesn’t move on?

as she was thinking of the options, and how tomorrow would end up. she heard a knock at her door. jonathan? she thought. hoping & praying that it wasn't, yet she did not ask who was there as she got up, walked over to the door. opening it wide, the doorknob hitting the wall. she flinched at the noise, not expecting it. she never opened her door like that before, in a way that was so angry.

              so unlike anything she wanted to be.

annabelle was happy to see christopher, her older brother standing in front of her. shocked. possibly thinking the same thing. how could this girl turn into an INFERNO in a single day. annabelle wondered the same thing. tears began to  fall from her eyes once again as she looked up to see his visage. he had been crying, she could tell by the red tint around his blue eyes. bloodshot eyes that obviously wasn't because of drugs, christopher had never been into drugs. ( nobody in this family did. excluding jonathan. but does he count anymore? ) she couldn't think anymore, the more she thought, the more pain she would  cause herself emotionally. so she went in for a hug, burying her face in her brother's chest. christopher returned the favor, squeezing her in his grip.

a soft whimper left her lips, the first thing she's said since the argument with jonathan ( which honestly, wasn't an argument. he never spoke back. ) she gripped onto the back of christopher's shirt, sniffling. 

“ chris. can you sleep in here with me? i don't want to be alone. not right now. i don't know if i could sleep alone tonight. we can watch movies.. i don't know. ” she spoke, choking back tears. hands quivering. christopher ran a hand through annabelle's hair, pushing a strand that hung in front of her face behind her ear, leaning down to kiss her forehead. a gentle, brotherly gesture.