LITTLE FLOWER

      it  was  a  mixed  bag  —  on  one  hand  samuel  was  grateful  for  the  nurse  being  nearby,  and  on  the  other  he  wished  he  could  send  her  away.  the  northerner  wasn't  sure  if  policy  was  a  blessing  or  curse  in  this  moment.  he  longed  so  badly  for  interaction  with  the  woman  he'd  loved  and  lost  who'd  just  randomly  appeared  in  front  of  him  in  an  emergency  room  in  small  town  oregon  that  he  was  willing  to  take  whatever  she  had  for  him.  by  her  reaction  to  him  it  was  pain  and  anger.

seeing  the  way  she  flinched  at  his  nearness  and  wanted  anything  but  his  healing  touch  or  presence  put  an  ache  in  sam's  chest.  it  felt  greedy  to  stick  around.  selfish,  even.  he  could've  called  another  doctor.  the  emergency  room  was  his  but  there  was  still  away.  this  was  a  reaction  of  the  heart,  not  the  mind  or  conscience,  the  way  he  wanted  to  draw  pru  near.  what  other  choice  did  he  have?  the  blonde  had  run  from  him.

"yeah  it  surprises  me."  close  then  his  voice  was  quiet.  a  sign  that  he  was  doing  his  best  despite  the  public  location  and  lingering  company  nearby  that  sam  was  trying  to  keep  this  between  them.  "you  were  terrible  at  mixing  drinks."  the  smile  that  formed  and  the  small  chuckle  that  began  to  sound  died  quickly.  joking  was  probably  off  the  table.  it  was  a  natural  reaction  to  break  the  tension,  and  it  wasn't  as  though  he  could  make  prudence  hate  him  any  more  than  she  already  did.  "and..."  much  softer  then.  "flowers  are  your  thing."

the  damage  was  tolling  up  in  his  head.  the  ledger,  his  not  hers  because  he  couldn't  know  everything  she  thought  and  held  against  him,  maybe  didn't  have  too  many  lines  on  it  but  what  was  there  was  in  heavyweight  font.

with  her  smaller  hand  in  his,  the  emergency  doctor  holding  it  in  a  way  to  steady  it  and  so  he  could  get  to  the  gash,  their  spot  of  conversation  had  his  just  resting  there.  the  warmth  and  familiarity  stirred  up  what  he'd  spent  the  last  six  months  trying  to  bury.  without  intending  to  he'd  fallen  for  this  woman  and  had  done  his  best  to  protect  her,  to  be  the  person  that  gave  her  all  the  information,  that  let  her  run  and  think  the  worst  of  him...  but  the  emotions  finding  their  way  through  the  dense  soil  atop  their  grave  fucking  hurt.

"hmm?"  quickly  his  head  nodded  as  he  acknowledged  her  answer.  sam  wondered  if  any  of  this  town  had  felt  familiar  since  he'd  talked  about  it  in  times  of  intimacy  and  when  they'd  been  in  the  getting  to  know  stage.  of  course  he'd  left  out  the  name  but  the  savagery  of  hope  allowed  him  to  grasp  at  the  though  that  maybe  prudence  felt  so  comfortable  in  windsor  bay  because  her  subconscious  recognized  it.  "how  long?  how  long  have  you  been  living  here?"  his  pale  blues  lifted  from  their  hands  to  meet  her  eyes  and  what  he  saw  in  her  gaze  broke  him  again.

"don't  hate  me,  pru."  a  soft,  quiet  plea  that  could  easily  be  mistaken  for  the  real  physical  pain  he  was  about  to  put  his  ex  through.  "it  helps  but  it's  still  gonna  hurt.  i'd  numb  ya  but  that  process  hurts  too  so  i'm  just  trying  to  get  through  this  as  quick  as  possible  for  you."  when  she  closed  her  eyes  and  turned  her  head  away,  gave  him  the  go,  sam  threaded  the  needle  through  her  flesh.  thankfully  the  blonde  didn't  need  too  many  stitches  and  this  would  be  over  in  just  a  couple  of  minutes.  "what  bar  are  you  working  at?"  the  question  was  for  information  but  it  also  served  to  be  a  distraction  as  he  tied  off  the  first  stitch.

all of the questions she'd choked down when she left were trying to come up, but between the sterile lights in the ceiling, the distant buzz of patients and other nursing staff alike, not to mention the pain in her hand, she kept it done. she wanted answers that were maybe no longer hers to have, but she wanted them nonetheless. just not there, just not now.

his honesty had been one of her favorite things about him. he'd never lied when she tried to make dinner and failed, but he'd been sweet about it, appreciating the effort versus the result. "practice makes perfect," she challenged through a hint of a smile that took her by surprise. she blamed herself for how much weight she'd put on that, on his honestly. it made the reveal feel a hundred times heavier, made the betrayal taste a thousand times more bitter too. "they were," she corrected rather quickly, a small smile pulling for a beat before it faded. she'd left that behind too, and without much to her name, reopening elsewhere hadn't been an option, and the idea of working in another shop had stung too much.

pru tried to calm the thrumming of her own racing heart, but it was no good. she bit at her bottom lip as he looked over her hand, his touch gentle and caring, like he knew how fragile she was and wanted her to know it too. then again, maybe that was the touch of a good doctor, someone who knew pain and wanted to spare her from anything more.

she let herself meet his blues, let herself be reeled in by the man who'd once known her better than she knew herself. maybe he still did. maybe he'd let that go when she forced his hand. "six months. well, over seven now." basically, she'd landed there after leaving him, after leaving everyone. she held his gaze until the sound of a person laughing a few curtains over pulled her away out of surprise — another big reminder that they weren't alone, that this wasn't a chance to clear the air. "tyler's here too," she added quietly, almost like a warning.

her brows pulled together. not because of his ask, but by how quickly she wanted to reassure him that she couldn't. she'd tried, but the only thing that ever stuck was how much she'd loved him, how much she still did. "it's okay," she exhaled, trying to convince herself that maybe, just maybe, it would be. not just the stitches, but for the situation shared between them.

the blonde bit down harshly on her bottom lip the moment the needle pushed through her skin. it was an uncomfortable pinch, sharp and unforgiving, but the sound of his voice, familiar and warm, made it sting a little less. "last call." she remembered the joke he'd made and turned her head slowly, the wax paper giving her movement away until her eyes landed on him again. "why? wanna see if i still suck at mixing drinks?"

When she asked about resolutions, he let out a soft laugh. "I don't really trust them," he said. "They feel like promises made by a version of me who's way too sure of himself." He moved a bit in the sand, his shoulders relaxing. "But I am trying something new this year." He paused. "Not running away when things get tough. Letting myself just be where I am, instead of trying to escape." His eyes flitted to her. "What about you, Pru? Or are you pretending the new year doesn't apply to you?"

she huffed a laugh, amused by how familiar it sounded. "i'm going to try and do the same. not run," she clarified, giving him a soft smile, despite the fear that ran through her veins. it was easier said than done, but she'd try. if not for herself, then for the people that looked to her to stay. "even if it's really hard." a nervous hum of laughter ghosted off her lips, an attempt at ridding it from within, but the quiet buzz of nerves remained. "i want to let go of grudges too. well, some of them," she joked, hoping it would help ease the tension building in her throat.

      meeting  again  like  this  only  confirmed  that  he  and  prudence  had  unfinished  business.  sam,  matured  by  hard  time  and  strong  lessons,  was  quiet  in  his  acknowledgement  of  that.  there  was  no  foolish  part  of  him  that  believed  this  opened  anything  up  to  a  second  chance,  that  maybe  he'd  get  to  right  some  wrongs,  but  instead  there  was  an  acceptance  that  he'd  been  meant  to  help  her  through  this.

not  only  was  the  emergency  doctor,  relocated  from  wisconsin  for  his  own  do-over,  well  versed  in  the  dynamic  of  family  destruction,  he  also  knew  what  it  meant  being  devastatingly  deceived  by  your  heroes.  with  her  reluctance  to  settle  back  onto  the  wax  paper  covered  emergency  bed  sam  was  able  to  see  that  she'd  been  holding  up  alright.  though,  currently,  the  blonde  was  trying  to  remain  strong  in  his  presence  even  if  her  anger  leaked  out  sans  the  control  she  was  trying  to  lock-in.

the  only  way  to  get  through  this  was  to,  well,  get  through  it.  this  wasn't  the  time  nor  the  place  to  delve  into  their  personal  dynamics  and  the  northerner  didn't  believe  that  she  wanted  to  actually  talk  to  him  about  anything  anyway.  pru  had  made  a  choice  when  all  the  cards  had  been  laid  out  on  the  table  and  he'd  never  make  her  question  the  path  she'd  chosen  to  take  or  what  the  blonde  did  in  efforts  to  heal.  so,  he  went  on  being  a  doctor  with  a  patient  in  front  of  him.  that's  what  this  was.

with  the  nurse  lingering  nearby,  he  simply  nodded  at  his  ex's  words  while  he  noted  that  prep  for  stitches  was  being  taken  care  of.  he  lifted  his  tall,  lean  muscled  body  from  the  seat  he'd  been  perched  on  and  exchanged  the  gloves  on  his  hands  for  a  new  set.  "the  nurse  is  going  to  rub  a  numbing  agent  on  the  outside  of  the  wound.  after  a  couple  of  minutes  we'll  get  started.  it's  gonna  hurt."  seeing  the  emotion  crack  her  tough  bravado  softened  him,  but  sam  knew  better  than  to  acknowledge  it.

when  her  hand  was  placed  on  the  table  for  him  to  begin  his  work  by  the  nurse,  who  then  stepped  to  the  next  bed  to  check  on  the  patient  there,  still  close  if  needed,  sam  sat  and  moved  closer.  his  gloved  fingers  were  a  feather  touch  against  hers  as  he  took  one  last  examination  and  planned  the  route  of  stitches  in  his  head.  "so  you're  a  bartender?  why  windsor  bay?"  it  sounded  conversational  enough  and  in  some  ways  it  was,  he  couldn't  ignore  that  she'd  seemingly  ended  up  here  of  all  places  she  could've  gone.

"brace  yourself,  and  talk  to  me  to  distract  from  the  pain  as  much  as  possible."  it  was  an  opportunity  to  rant  at  him,  to  curse  him,  or  to  tell  him  how  much  better  off  she  was  now.  the  expectation  was  low  yet  remained  hopeful  for  a  sliver  of  something  that  told  him  that  what  he'd  felt  hadn't  just  been  the  world  being  unkind  once  again.

the bartender recognized the soft kindness in his voice. she bit down on her bottom lip harshly and nodded. was it wrong that she wanted him to do it? because she knew that, despite everything, his hands offered the most gentle touch she'd ever known in her whole life. memories of their entangled past filled her head as she made her best effort at relaxing against the wax paper that reminded her of just where they were. it wasn't a late night at her place or his, they weren't waiting on takeout or company. it was a hospital, a meeting by chance, not by choice.

pru watched as he stepped out, but she forced her gaze to the nimble touch of the nurse who delivered a fair warning that the blonde would feel some discomfort with the application of the numbing gel. once it was on, she stared at the sterile lights in the ceiling, like she'd find relief in the glow if she stared long enough.

she'd known he was close even before the soft creak of his seat confirmed it. that was the thing about loving someone the way she'd loved him, the way she still did, even if she tried to convince herself otherwise. "does that surprise you?" she shouldn't have looked his way, but she between her head and her heart, the thing beneath her ribs was winning. "i don't know. i just landed here and liked it." she hadn't thought much of it. it was far enough away from the mess she'd left behind that she could breathe, but closer enough that she could go back if she needed, if tyler had ever needed her to.

the stubborn part of her wanted to ignore his warning, wanted to reassure him that she could handle a little pain, but the quieter voice in her head, knew better. "the gel helps right?" she forced her eyes closed and exhaled a steadying breath. out of everyone she wanted at her side, grievances aside, there was a comfort in knowing it was him. "i'm ready." there was no mistaking the worry in her voice, the fear and the uncertainty. most of it was her fear of what came next while she laid against the wax paper barrier, but some of it was what would happen off it.

with pru saying it, six months, his smile began to fall. the humor breezed out of his lungs until the laughter died out at his sister's retort. it'd been six months since she'd left. since he'd seen her. "yeah," his voice sounded hallow, "that's a long time to get settled in." in want to push past the low spirits he carved a smile into his face, somewhat of a hooked expression, as tyler tried to make light and be joking with the abandonment he'd felt. it's ached in his chest for six months. "but how much of that is you and how much is the roommate you tricked into living with you?" the light of the humor wasn't in his eyes as he peered at prudence, it couldn't reach despite the smile and the attempt of a tease in his voice.

"i'm sorry too," he said, his body shifty for a moment as it seemed he tried to physically wriggle out of the weight of lost time and things unsaid between them. "that you don't understand that before noon is the best time for a sugar high. the worst? yeah, that'd be later in the day and what keeps you from sleeping at night." as he plugged in the order and finished it up tyler wondered how many more changes would be levied at him. was the big sister he knew and adored, the only family he truly had, gone? was the mourning to extend beyond six months? "oh yeah?" he challenged. "what fun do you have?" that's all... yet he looked at her long while she continued working on prepping the pancake mix. was that a truth or a lie? "i mean... i was paying so it was your opportunity to go wild."

throughout their conversation since he'd entered his sister's apartment tyler had been taking the place in. the ways it was decorated and the knickknacks collected. more than that he kept trying to subtly find any changes in her. other than sensing she was nursing a gaping wound and perhaps harboring secrets she seemed the same, just maybe her light had been dimmed. a large part of him wanted to hurt his own family if they'd done that to pru, if it came out that his suspicions were right. his blue eyes zeroed in on the fingers tapping at the counter's edge and some amusement began to flood him again at the prospect that he was getting under her skin and on her nerves. a very common thing between them. "coming from the fleury just about to her mid-thirties. hmm. and here's me," his fingers turned to himself and rest against him just under his collarbones, "still under thirty, not a line on this supple skin still full of collagen." one hand lifted to gently stroke his fingers against his cheek. "i'm hearing envy..."

then she made a wrong move. a quip that was fired off the quick witted fleury tongue. but the line was savage considering the circumstances. even prudence's follow up couldn't stitch the skin back up from the lash. tyler was slow to respond. his gaze shifted off of her and went to his phone where he glanced at notifications then was dropped into his pocket. he rubbed his blond buzzed head and paced back and forth a minute as his blue eyes went everywhere but the person who'd just inflicted the pain. finally, he stopped on the other side of the counter from her and steadied his hands on the edge of it. "seems like if i hadn't come here i wouldn't have ever seen or heard from you again." voice quiet, even, tone modulated. "i've seen you these past couple of months happily living your little life here. i've met some of your friends and acquaintances. the people you've grown close to and shared this version of you i don't even know with." at that moment he turned and walked a couple of steps away, and with his back to his sister tyler added, "good to know i was that easy to leave and forget."

when he heard the mixing stop he didn't turn around to face her. tyler was doing his best to collect himself. somehow in all of this whatever he felt seemed selfish and like he had no right to his feelings. instead of saying too much, talking too much like he usually did, pain kept him uncharacteristically quiet. but then his sister answered his questions and the first thing he felt was relief. she knew. he wouldn't have to break this news to her. it wasn't long before that feeling was shoved aside for all the worry and stress and betrayal that'd plagued him since she'd left. since a birdie whispered in his ear and had enlightened him.

calling their father less than perfect was what turned him around but prudence would likely note that he didn't react much to the news that their father was a big time money launderer that was being chased down by the feds. no, his twisted expression arrived the moment she began explaining sam. "wait... hold on, what does sam have to do with it?" with his hand extended out as though that would stop her as she continued on, disbelief shook his head. "why would he try to get to dad?"

confusion twisted up with his instincts figuring it out before he did. it wasn't just his own turmoil he was feeling, tyler could only imagine what this meant and did to his sister. pieces were falling into place and the departure she'd made with haste had been realized. "sam was or is a fed?" he set into a pace again as his mind was reeling to catch up with everything hammering in his chest. right then he still couldn't weld the to things together. tyler rubbed at his head, a tic that he had. "but he's a fucking doctor. what do you mean?" memories flooded his head of all the times he'd hung out with sam. all the times their father, brothers, and mother had looked him in the eyes and lied. all the times they treated him like he was worthless and an outcast, an embarrassment because he was a criminal.

the older fleury caught the way the curve of her brother's mouth dip, clocked the way his voice did too. despite the regret that followed her like a shadow, a smart part of her was proud of the world she'd built around herself, of the tiny victories she'd claimed without the help of her their family's money. it wasn't much, it was hers and that counted. "ty," she exhaled, not scolding, but more a plea. it was another apology without her uttering the words again, and the soft look in her eyes only backed the unspoken sentiment. the blonde huffed a breath that sounded a bit like laughter and shook her head. "actually, she's a worse cook than i am." she knew he was trying, even if she saw past the grin that didn't quite reach his eyes.

she studied him for a beat, a single brow arched before the humor slipped. "oh, i'm sorry. i didn't realize you were the sugar high expert." he had a point, but it was big sisterly duty not to grant him the satisfaction of being right, especially when it meant watering down the thickness that had settled in the air. pru tried to put all of her focus into the mix, because everyone that knew her, knew that she could screw up just about anything when it came to cooking. simple or not, she had the magic touch of culinary destruction. "i go out, i meet people, i bring people home," she added, smile widening because she doubted that was something he'd expected to roll off her tongue. "i'm sure another opportunity will come up at some point. mr. deep pockets," she taunted, though there was a hint of pride edged into her words.

if she hadn't of been set on proving him wrong, that she could cook without chaos, she would've flicked batter at him. instead, she met his assessing gaze with one of her own, eyes narrowed, lines etched into her forehead that he'd surely call attention to out of playful spite. "just wait. thirty's going to hit you like a mack truck and then you'll understand." she drew in a long, dramatic breath meant to steady herself, to curb the quiet voice in her head begging her to flick just a little batter in his direction, if only as a weightless warning. even in the midst of his teasing ways, she was thankful he was there, thankful that he took up space in her kitchen, in her life.

pru's mouth parted to apologize for the misplaced quip, but she forced her attention to the batter that was ready for heat. the sound of his voice filling the long stretch of silence made her chest ache, because he was right. well, to an extent. she would have eventually caved, would've reached out, but nevertheless, she hadn't been fair. she'd been selfish, cowardly, and above all else, she'd been cruel. she didn't interrupt when he continued on, every word cutting like a sharpened blade forged just for her. she knew him, knew that he wasn't trying to hurt her, but intent rarely had anything to do with the emotionally toll words took on another. "i should've reached out. i was unfair, but i was trying to protect you, ty. i know you. i know me. and i know that i couldn't," she trailed off, her teeth nipping at the inside of her cheek as she tried to slow herself down, "i couldn't lie to you."

the blonde winced at his declaration, and suddenly, the venture of proving him wrong no longer mattered. "no," she countered, head shaking as tears threatened to blur her view of him. "you saw the version of me that i showed other people. i didn't give them what was in here," she paused, finger raising to point towards her chest. "i missed you, tyler. you're my best friend. i wanted to reach out, okay? i did. i just... i couldn't." she wouldn't tell him how to feel, but she wouldn't let him believe that leaving had been easy, or that forgetting him was an option.

all she could was welcome the silence in between her confessions. she looked for too many things in him when he finally looked back at her. forgiveness, understanding, a sense of recognition. she dug her palms into her eye sockets and pulled in another grounding breath at the mention of sam. the muscles in her jaw worked overtime as she replayed the memory in her head, the one where sam tossed a file in front of her and explained everything, like a man confessing his sins and hoping that they weren't going to bury him. "was a fed." she didn't have the weigh whether or not she could trust her brother. she did, wholeheartedly and now that he knew, there was no such thing as holding back. "and i was his way in."

it made her stomach turn over on itself, the highlight of the betrayal reopening the wounds that only just started to heal. she left out the part where he'd told her that he wanted to be honest, that what they'd shared together was real, even if it had started from something that wasn't. "i mean he was doing a job, tyler. he told me it was a favor or something," she admitted, her memory on the details blurred by the emotion that had nearly consumed her. anger, betrayal, hurt. she'd felt it all in one big tidal wave, and smaller ones since. "i ran because i didn't think you knew about... everything. i wanted to tell you, but i didn't want to be the one who changed everything."

she tracked his every move, but her eyes didn't pull from him, even as he came to a pause. the question, not meant to be answered in that moment, caused her jaw to tighten again, so tight that she swore she heard a crack. she shook her head slowly, an answer without words. she didn't know, but now she wanted to. how had her little brother been pulled into her father's mess? and how had she been so selfish to miss such a thing? to believe that shielding him was the only answer? instead, she'd left him alone, to sit in his own hurt.

her brows furrowed and the tight set in her jaw faltered. she started to speak, but stopped herself. what she wanted to ask wasn't the point. not now. she swallowed it down and met his gaze again. "would they turn on him?" a part of her hoped they would, but a small part of her, the one still tied to the loyalty their father had pressed on them for their whole lives, hoped they wouldn't. "i'll be fine," she added like an afterthought. it wasn't much, but it was honest.

what romi enjoyed most was that when pru leaned in a bit closer and rested her eyes on her there was no pressure. no weight of promises and needs. just connection without contract. prudence didn't want anything from her that she was too afraid to give again, and there was some healing power in that. maybe, in part, because romi sensed something similar coming off of the blonde. it was a gift to just be able to enjoy someone.

a smile effortlessly decorated her expression when she saw the color dusting the fair complexion of the bartender, she was happy that prudence received the compliment. what impressed and intrigued her more was the listing of genres that her life story would be categorized under. "wow," was all she'd commented at first, then, "well, it'd be rated whatever you deem. would you want the pg version of you out there, or the rawness of you?" her fingers were toying with her drink glass as she peered at the woman thoughtfully. prudence was reserved, clearly had her secrets, but romi felt so comfortable in that. she didn't want to split her open and traverse her soul. "either way... i think everyone enjoys an adventure and i'm getting that there's not a damn thing dull about you."

she liked that she could give just a little and romi was always there to meet her halfway. it would've been dangerous with anyone else, but they'd settled on a mutual agreement of no commitment, just fun and all the stuff that settled into the spaces of the in between. somehow, that made it all the more easier to lean into the other, and beneath it all, pru hoped it made it easier for romi to lean on her too.

truth be told, the blonde didn't want any part of her out there for the world to see. if she didn't like parts of herself, what would the world think? and then there was a part of her that wanted to be like her younger brother, that wanted to own her flaws, the opinions of others be damned. "i want the real version." it landed heavier than she'd meant for it to, all the years of pretending having left her feeling bitter. she'd hid behind the fleury charm for too many years, smiling for the cameras and for all those people who believed the family of six were simply perfect. she wanted to show them all that they weren't. "you should meet my brother. he makes me look boring," she teased, though she'd meant it more as a compliment than not.

pru attempted to busy herself with the rag and the fresh rings of condensation left by drinks that never made it onto the coaster they were given. she looked back toward the other and snickered, her light orbs rolling. "sorry, my imagination isn't that great," she countered with another hum of laughter. she could picture just about anything, but that? an impossible feat. "exactly." she wouldn't stop cashing in on their ignorance either. not when she had bills to pay, all of which came out of her pocket and not the dirty fleury fortune. "a little hope never hurt." it did and it had, but for the sake of playful conversation, she wore a smile, one that wasn't weighted by anything other than amusement. "mmm," she drew out, her bottom lip catching between her teeth. "i kind of like the sound of that, and no. no one actually likes ohio." the blonde tipped her head towards the clock, it's big hand ticking closer to quitting time. "maybe i can cut out early," she offered, taking a break from her counter wipe down to catch the other's gaze. "unless you want to finish the game?"