๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ โ [ หสโกษห. ] a private blog for dependent original muse penned + loved by ๐ [ 30+ , she/her , est ] for windsorbay .
family: tristan reid (father - alive - in contact), kelly baker (mother - unknown to her - no contact), phoebe baker (younger half-sister - unknown to her - no contact) + two siblings from father's side (older step-brother + half-younger sister - alive - in contact) + darian young (fiancรฉ - deceased) + marco & callista reid (twins - alive - their mother)
grieving in silence. humming lullabies. floral arrangements. redemption arc. late nights and early mornings. silk dresses. coffee & lattes. doing her best. making a difference. rainy days. vanilla and amber. problem solver. crashing waves. widow. helping-hand. heavy heart & soul. guilt ridden. hopeless yet hoping. starting over.
โช ย ย ๐ธ ย ย โซ ย ย ย สแดส ๊ฑแดแดสส.
TW: alcoholism, pregnancy, death, mental health
If you asked Cassandra Reid to reflect back on a specific moment that shaped who she is today and her chosen career path, she would probably given you a psychological explanation about trauma and memoryโhow the mind forgets to protect itself. In other words, something happened that caused her to be this way and it was okay that it was forgotten.
What she does remember was that her childhood consisted of her mother's drunken arguments and small schemes to get money for alcohol. On a positive note, she did remember having a younger sister, Phoebe, and for once, she didn't feel so alone. Though they had different fathers, Tristan Reid still treated them as family. It confused her, because from what she understood at the time, Kelly Baker found another man...again. At least that's what the other kids at school were saying behind her back. When she asked her father about it, he dismissed it. Apparently that was love in his eyes, doing everything he could to hold onto Kelly Baker until he reached a breaking point.
Cassandra never asked why her father left for good, while the adults around her insisted that staying with her mother wouldโve been worse, especially with all the sacrifices her father had done for them. So she left with the Reid patriarch, under the assumption that her youngest sister would follow along. However, days became years and Cassandra slowly realized they had left Phoebe behind for good. It was too late to even try and get in contact with them since her father had moved on. At the age of ten, Tristan Reid married another woman, who had a son from a previous marriage and years later, they birthed their own daughter. Being in a blended family taught her a lot and while she was happy that her father found someone who loved and treated him right, in the back of her mind, she wondered if her mother and sister had their happy ending too.
Determined to help others navigate the pain she never fully voiced, Cassandra attended Harvard to pursue her psychology degree and obtain her Ph.D. When it came to her clinical placement, Windsor Bay came up as one of her mentors had said it would be a good start and wasnโt so overwhelming in comparison to the other cities. Therefore, she moved there during her graduate year, and did her placement at the Elite Wellness Collective. Windsor Bay was where she met her husband to-be, Darian Young, a firefighter who swept her off her feet with his charming personality and gentle heart. They fell in love, built a life, and planned a future together, but before they could even get married, Cassandra became pregnant with twins and Darian was asked to assist with major forest fires out west. Therefore, they had put their marriage on hold, focusing on the birth of their children and Darian going all out in providing for them.ย
Unfortunately, months before the twins were born, her husband passed away saving one of his colleagues from a freak accident. Cassandraโs world completely collapsed and for the past two years, she dealt with becoming a grieving widow and single mother all at once. While she was grateful for her support system, her heart was calling her to return home to Windsor Bay, to give herself closure, as well as a chance for her children to get in touch with their father's roots.
The move was sudden, but necessary in hopes that it would ease her broken soul. What she didn't expect was hearing a familiar name at Sunrise Diner: Phoebe Baker. Who knew that her first time having lunch in Windsor Bay would lead to crossing paths with her sister. Cass couldnโt believe her eyes as she saw her from across the room, alive in a way she had only dared to imagine. As much as she would have wanted to, she didnโt approach herโnot yet at least since it wasn't the right place, nor time. Cassandra took the move as a sign that she was meant to be here and was given a chance to start over. Hopefully, Windsor Bay is the place where her healing begins and her heartaches would end.
Marco and Callista are her heart and soul. Although postpartum and motherhood were difficultโthey saved her life as they were the only memories and parts of Darian that she had left.
She is returning from a sabbatical and was lucky enough to earn a permanent placement at Elite Wellness Collective as one of their psychotherapist. Some of the methods she specializes in is EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and DBR (Deep Brain Reorienting).
She still goes to therapy for grief counselling and post-partum depression
If it weren't for her colleague shouting out Phoebe's name in Sunrise Diner, she wouldn't have known it was her. It was only when she connected the familiar name to the face that Cass experienced the yearning and knowing feeling that it was her sister.
Absolutely gets along with her step/half-siblings, but is civil with her step-mother. They had a strained relationship as she was always seen as the other child of an alcoholic.
She lives mostly a sober lifestyle with no alcohol or hardcore drugs. She only takes her perscribed medication and CBD gummies.
Big on bouquets of flowers as Darian used to constantly gift her with it. She keeps the tradition alive and changes them out before they could even wilt.
Caffeine is a must in her daily routine
Although she didn't excel in sports, Cassandra is versed in gymnastics, ballet and contemporary dance. If she didn't pursue her degree in psych, she would have gone to Juilliard for dance.
Hasn't distributed her husband's ashes and is finding the right time and place in Windsor Bay to do so.
Big on interior design, she believes a room can change a person's mood and so her office is very cozy and warm altogether.
Her in-laws encourages her to fall in love again as Darian would have wanted her to be happy, but ultimately she's scared and uses her children as an excuse to why she isn't prioritizing a relationship
Keeps her engagement ring around her neck and only slips it on when she needs guidance (it feels like Darian is with her, holding her hand)
*cassandra's been in windsor bay for 5 days now, but she did meet her fiancรฉ here when she was studying to become a psychotherapist. she also did her placement at elite wellness collective years ago and stayed before moving 3 years ago
neighbours - she lives in a quaint home in the suburbs
clients that require a therapist
new and old friendships
other parents
unlikely friends, good/bad influence
blind date/dating app date/exes/unrequited love
right person, wrong time
had any relation or knew darian young (deceased fiancรฉ)
she has an older step brother and younger half sister
the rest is tbd ! โ feel free to reach out to me on d*scord or tumblr im if you have any ideas for specific connections with her. totally down for it! :3
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Having the day to herself, Cassandra wasn't going to miss the opportunity of getting things done. Currently, she was at Sweet Whiskers, enjoying her latte while working on some of her clients' paperwork and other admin responsibilities. It was a challenge to focus on both her work and the surrounding cats around her, but she managed and was certainly proud of what she accomplished. "Hey buddy..." she suddenly called out to a Calico cat that was approaching her table. "No one tell Cleo...I know she's the jealous type." she mused to the person next to her. "โDo you have any cats of your own?"
"I am lucky. And I'm also smart: there's a reason you're my informal interior decorator, and not somebody else," he said, nodding toward her well-prepared Pinterest board. Alexios hadn't used Pinterest a day in his life before meeting Cassandra. He still wasn't quite sure how it worked. All he knew was that she was using it to design most of his house so far, and that was more than enough knowledge for now.
With a hum, he considered her ideas. They flew past him one by one. He took a beat, trying to hold onto each passing image, to let it settle into his brain enough to make a decision. "I think... wood, with some green accents. Your first idea. And I'd like real plants, not fake. There's an East-facing window in there. Should be plenty of light every day around sunrise. There was a time I used to kill all my plants. But I'm actually quite good at keeping them alive these days." His smile bottomed out, becoming more genuine than playful, as he added, "How did you get so good at this, anyway? Do you just have a natural eye for these things?"
Cassandra laughed in response and didnโt bother countering his response as he did have a point. Somehow she was willing to do all this for him, but in her defence it helped greatly with reducing her stress when it came to being a mother and a doctor. When he provided his input, Cass began rearranging her inspo pics into a new board that was a final version of what they were going for. โGot it, wood and green accents. I know the owner of What in Carnation, so Iโll see what she would recommend for that area as well.โย
Learning about his improvement when it came to taking care of plants, the therapist paused and said, โYou know, weโll just get back up fake plants in case you need them to be stand ins when youโre unable to replace them in a timely manner. Just to be safe.โ Meeting Alexiosโ gaze, she took a moment to think about a response to his question and then said, โI would like to think so. However, thatโs not the case. I just wanted a hobby that took up space when I didnโt want to be just a mother or a therapist and well, this was what I found joy in. Do you have something like that in mind? A hobby that you like to run to?โ
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"Hey, Cass!" JJ exclaimed as he entered the other's home with Mia clinging to his leg, shyly. "Thank you so much for having us. I'm sure Mia's very excited to be here. Aren't you, Mia?" He glanced down at the toddler, who hid her face behind his leg. "It's okay, Mia. This is just daddy's friend." Looking back up at the other, he shook his head in defeat. "I hope you don't mind. She's a little shy at first. Come on, Mia. Let's get our coats off." JJ carefully stepped over to the coat rack, crouching down to help Mia out of her jacket. "There we go." He hung it up on the rack before he removed his own jacket. "Say hi, Mia." The toddler offered Cass a shy smile before waving. "Hi." He watched as the twins came over. Mia perked up at them, smiling and waving. JJ sighed in relief that his daughter was starting to open up. He crouched down to help her out of her boots, turning over to the twins and offering them a smile. "Hello. My name is JJ. I'm Mia's dad." He introduced himself to the twins before glancing up at her. "Nope, no allergies."
Cassandra glanced down at Mia as JJ spoke and maintained her gentler and softer expression as she beamed happily at the news. โNo worries at all JJ, weโre just happy to have guests. So excuse my twinsโ enthusiasm.โ Once they hung their coats up, she watched as her children interacted with Mia and smiled proudly once they welcomed her in with open arms. โHi Doc JJ!โ they both exclaimed in unison. When the older man confirmed there were no allergies, Cass nodded and decided that maybe it would be best to still keep Cleo there to not overwhelm their first play date. โAlright, Iโll let her get comfortable around here yeah?โ Turning to Marco and Callista, Cass then instructed, โGo ahead and show Mia the play room. Doc JJ and I will prep your snacks.โ She then met the other manโs gaze and gestured towards the kitchen, โIโm chopping up some fruits and veggies, along with making some sandwiches. You can relax though, I just used that as an excuse to help the kids do their own thing.โ
"Fine, but I'm making you responsible for the hospital bills that will surely come after." The mental image amused him: trying to keep up with a trained dancer like Cassandra, in a discipline he had never studied. He was light on his feet thanks to a lifetime of Greek folk dancing, but that was just about his only advantage. Certainly not enough to make a ballerina out of him.
"I... don't have the slightest idea about paint color." He could still hear Giovanni in the back of his mind from twenty-five years ago, playfully scolding him about the lack of color in his childhood bedroom. "But that's precisely why you're here, isn't it? I didn't even think about mini frames or accents. You're a natural at this, just as you are with the rumba. I promise you'll be the first one to have the honor of using my new bathroom when it's done," he said, a gentle smirk tilting the side of his mouth up. He held the dance studio door open, nodding for her to step through first.
A reassuring smile appeared on Cassandraโs lips as she patted Alexiosโ shoulder as if to tell him not to worry. โWell youโre lucky that I work for a hospital and I'm a doctor with connections.โ she mused before sauntering out of the studio. Her expression shifted as she arched a brow after hearing that he hadnโt thought of a colour. โYou know, youโre lucky I always think ten steps ahead.โ she pointed out at first before pulling out her phone to show him a collage that she made with her Pinterest board.
โFor that bathroom, we could keep it neutral and aside from the gold accents, we could incorporate wood if thatโs more your style. Add more greenery, like minimalist fake plants, your mirror having a wooden frameโฆThat type of thing. Or the other option is doing green with gold accents and then having the sink, mirror, and shelving wood.โ Cassandra then flashed Alexios a look that was half amusement and other in disbelief, โA rumba, huh?...Iโm flattered, especially since youโre giving me first dibs on using your bathroom.โย
"Terrible morning for sure and I am guessing the universe is being nice to me today. I guess I have been good and racked up some good karma," he replied nodding his head. Atlas himself found it funny, in a way he did believe in Karam and that one gets back what they put out. So he did try his best to put out good, he was actually kind and sweet to others despite what his reputation says. His patients would never believed that the doctor could be a heartbreaker, could be hurtful and sometimes even mean.
"Please totally don't jinx it," he laughed. "Adjusting to a new place really does take time and am glad you have an amazing and understanding team," he added. Atlas was glad that they felt welcomed and he always made sure and tried his best to make sure new people on his team always felt welcomed and comfortable. "The latter, was up before the sun came up. Had to feed some of the animals."
โMaybe you did. Keep that up and next thing you know, youโll win the lottery and get out of dodge.โ Cass mused with a light laugh. It was good to see the positive impact she made on Atlasโ morning and she could only hope that would continue throughout the rest of their shifts. โI didnโt say it, but how much do you want to bet some first year resident might end up jinxing it for all of us?โ There was a high probability that it could happen, especially with their naivety and eagerness to learn. โIโm calling that the ER department might be the suspect if that were the case.โ
Cassandra then nodded in agreement and said, โYeah, I thought it would feel like I had never left since itโs only been around three years since I was goneโbut time definitely has a way of changing things.โ Pointing at the drink she had provided to him, she definitely made the right choice in giving it to him out of all people. โWell you probably need more than that, but I hope that gets you through your day. How do you do it? Do like knock out right away at home once you're done your shift?โย
Cassandra's sarcastic quip about the substitute instructor inspired a laugh, rumbling low and inconspicuous in his chest. He couldn't disagreeโhe was familiar enough with a tango, but his feet had nearly intertwined with Cass's several times over that day, tangled by sheer speed. He'd never had an instructor move quite so fast.
Alexios followed her to the lockers, made himself busy retrieving his wallet and phone. "We're very lucky, then, because I'm not certain I'd survive a ballet class. I'm light on my feet, but I'm probably not even half as flexible as you are." It was true; years of running and hiking had improved his endurance, but he couldn't exactly do a split.
"I just finished restoring the downstairs bathroom. I need to paint it, and figure out what to put in it." Cassandra had already guided him toward furniture selections in the living room and kitchen. His home was shaping up to bear a comforting, industrial-style blend of masculine and feminineโleather couch and wooden accent tables, but with plants and small pops of color all around. "I'd like to make the bathroom match the living room. Somehow. What about that rust color that's on the pillows on the couch? Maybe we can do something with that?"
Grabbing a towel from the basket that the studio offered, she began patting her face down and emitted a low chuckle after hearing Alexiosโ response. โJust cause you said that, I now want to throw you into the wolves and see what youโre made of.โ she teased before eventually shaking her head. Cass then began packing her belongings before slipping on her hoodie and then jacket as she was ready to head out.ย
When Alexios spoke about what he had worked on around the house, the therapist began thinking of ideas to help bring his vision to life. โHm, yeah we can match it to that. Give it a rustic, neutral feel. We could thrift some mini frames for decor and use gold accents for the items accompanying your bathroom?โ She then met his gaze and asked, โWhat colour were you thinking of painting it?โย
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Cassandra beamed at the acknowledgement that her place didnโt look like clutter despite the minor unpacking and arrangements that still needed to be made. โYeah, during my residency I realized the difference a space makes and so, I decided to make that a non-negotiable when I chose to do my practice.โ Chuckling softly, Samuel wasnโt the first person to ever ask for her help when it came to customizing a space. โYup, as a hobby, surprisingly I find it therapeutic despite a lot of decision making. Since I moved back Iโm so far helping out a friend and a neighbour. So if you ever need a second, feel free to ask.โ
Seeing her children and Cleo interact with Samuel left a lasting smile on Cassโ lips as she watched them enjoy their presence. Hearing the twins cheer at his response, Cass quickly glanced up at him with a look that read โAre you sure?โ as she didnโt want to impose that he had to stay. She wasnโt even sure if he had plans to begin with, but seeing her childrenโs hopeful faces meant that they wanted to hang out with him. โAlright, if Doc Samuel wants to stay, then he can.โ Callista already reached out for his hand and happily jumped as she was just as excited as her brother as he pointed towards their play room, โWeโre building a blanket fort for Queen Cleo! Want to see?โ Nodding at the two, she then glanced over at the other doctor and said, โIf you have to head out, just let me know.โย
A wave of relief washed over her after hearing Cormac confirm that he understood where she was coming from. To hear that it worked made her genuinely smile as she gave a nod of affirmation, knowing that was the intention that she was going for. Now at his chosen word, Cassandra had to hand it to him as it was a really good one. โGiven that you are aware of all that, I have no doubts that the steadiness will come to you. Just saying and thinking about it is the first step.โย
Feeling her cheeks slightly flush, she chuckled softly and shrugged, โThank you, Iโll keep that in mind.โ Normally sheโd deflect, but given what they had talked about she felt comfortable trying to be better for herself. With that, she locked eyes on him with a hopeful smile and nodded, โHappy New Year, Cormac.โ
Noise erupted all around the room from cheers, to greetings and chatter, from the bass of the music and the DJ's announcements. It was a start of a new year and for once, Cass felt lighter than ever. "Well I guess, that's that." she announced as she clapped her hands together.
Cormac watched her for a bit as the room got loud again. It was like he wanted to remember how the night was before all the noise took over. He gave a firm nod when she talked. "Yup," he said, the word meaning more than it seemed. "That's that." He let out a gentle breath, the kind you do when you can finally relax. "I'm really glad we bumped into each other tonight," he added. "Take care, Cassandra."
Stuffing her hands into her pockets, Cassandra made her way to a less crowded area where they could lean against the wall. Once the eruption of fireworks began, the shadows, the lights, the flashes, the sound, it was all extravagant, loud, but overall quite a sight to see. โI agree, I feel like theyโve outdone themselves this year.โ She then met Marloweโs gaze and nodded, โProud of you.โ she said at first with a genuine smile. โHappy New Year, Marlowe.โ
Marlowe felt a squeeze in her throat, the good kind. She watched the last firework disappear, its echo fading into the night. "Thanks," she said quietly, meaning way more than just the fireworks. She leaned her shoulder against the wall, solid and present, not wanting to rush anything. "Happy New Year, Cassandra." A calm, sure smile touched her lips. "I think this year will beโฆ nicer. And that's all I need."
"are you taking new clients?" romi joked with the therapist. "what you're saying not only comforts me but also gives me hope," she admitted, the drink she'd been so hastily after somewhat forgotten at this point. "but i think maybe i have a habit or it's a characteristic at this point, part of who i am... i hang onto things." it'd been five years since the absolute mess of a breakup, but beyond that romi still mourned the loss of her father from when she was twelve. life had moved on of course but she still carried that loss around. "letting go doesn't seem to be my thing," the brunette smiled a bit, "but you're right with time it all fades."
not only did romi listen with interest she became a bit more intrigued as the blonde spoke. she also finally remembered her drink and had a couple of sips while she occasionally nodded along. "wow, you're impressive. managing long hours at a hospital and the work is heavy, plus you're a mom on your own," she spoke with admiration. "so you work the psych level at the hospital?" not only had she completely forgotten about that she just always assumed private practice. her green eyes followed the direction the blonde looked and smiled at the group letting off steam after a heavy day. "good, i'm happy to see that. but then you come to a bar and have to listen to the likes of me," she laughed a little to lighten up the somewhat somber or serious direction she'd taken things.
โIf youโre considering then sure, I just moved backโso I am starting with a new portfolio. Feel free to inquire at the Elite Wellness Collective.โ plugged the therapist with a grin. To Cassandra, therapy was just as needed just like any other medical service that people go through. Sheโs all for destigmatizing the whole notion of it. โIt happens, letting go isnโt an easy feat.โ pointed out Cass with a nod. โHowever, at some point, youโll have to give yourself grace if you want to move past it.โย
At Romiโs question, the therapist shrugged and said, โThatโs pretty much a day in a life. I am part of the psych teamโone of their psychotherapists. So I mostly do client appointments, but there are moments where I get triaged to certain patients that need emergency counselling. Or if the doctors need another opinion and a psych eval on someone.โ Cassandra then laughed and gestured a wave as if it wasnโt a big deal, โIโve been through worse, this isnโt bad. Donโt worry about it.โ
peridot looked up from the counter just as the bell chimed, hands still wrapped around a bundle of eucalyptus sheโd been trimming. the sight that greeted her softened something in her immediately โ cassandra at the door, twins in tow, all careful instructions and quiet love. โ morning, โ she said warmly, setting the greenery aside and wiping her hands on her apron as she stepped out from behind the counter.
her gaze flicked briefly to the twins, already deep in their whispered deliberation, before returning to cassandra with a small, reassuring smile, waving a hand in dismissal. โ itโs more than alright. i like having them here. theyโre welcome to look, and feel free to take your time, too. โ she added, like it wasnโt a shop full of fragile things but a place meant to be explored carefully. โ flowers are more than patient. โ then, she gestured toward the buckets lining the windows, light pouring through the glass. โ let me know what they decide. iโll make it work. โ
โThank you,โ Cass sincerely replied as she took a moment to observe the twins. โThey had fun the last time they were here. I thought, why not give them a little more enrichment and see how creative they could getโฆโ
Even if they hadnโt met their father, their thoughtfulness was a shared trait that the twins got from him. โPatient huh?โฆโ She then met Peridotโs gaze and chuckled, โAnd here I thought they were fragile.โ
Taking a brief look around the store, it was quiet and not as busy given that it wasnโt peak hours. Cass curiously asked, โHowโs everything with you? Your brother doing okay?โย
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Marlowe and Cassandra went outside when the doors opened. The cold air hit her face, and she took a sharp breath. She stayed near the wall, where fewer people were, pulling her coat tighter as night fell. It was different out hereโless music, more quiet talking, a feeling of waiting. The first firework made her jump a little, but then she relaxed as colors filled the sky. "Okay," she whispered, That's actually pretty." She watched the light appear and fade, getting used to the rhythm: up, pop, then quiet. She looked at Cassandra, a small smile on her face. "I'm really glad we did this this way," she said. Another firework went off, reflecting in her eyes. "If this is how the year begins, slow, thoughtful, with a way out, I think I can handle that."
Stuffing her hands into her pockets, Cassandra made her way to a less crowded area where they could lean against the wall. Once the eruption of fireworks began, the shadows, the lights, the flashes, the sound, it was all extravagant, loud, but overall quite a sight to see. โI agree, I feel like theyโve outdone themselves this year.โ She then met Marloweโs gaze and nodded, โProud of you.โ she said at first with a genuine smile. โHappy New Year, Marlowe.โ
Cormac quieted down again. He let her words sink in, not wanting to rush his answer or make them less important. The room's chatter seemed far away, like it was happening on a different night. "I know you weren't," he said softly, when she brought up therapy. "And I think that's why it worked." A small smile touched his lips. "You were just yourself, not some therapist. That's more important than most people realize."
Her question still hung in the air. He looked into his glass for a bit. "Steady," he said eventually. He met her gaze, looking calm and sure in a quiet way. He shrugged a little. "I want to stop waiting for the next bad thing and stay grounded. I want to be someone my kids can count on without me falling apart." He raised his glass a bit toward her, not really a toast, more like an acknowledgment. "Being real suits you," he added. "I think you're more real than you give yourself credit for."
The music started up again in the distance, voices getting louder, pushing them forward again. Cormac let out a slow breath and smiled. "Happy New Year, Cassandra."
A wave of relief washed over her after hearing Cormac confirm that he understood where she was coming from. To hear that it worked made her genuinely smile as she gave a nod of affirmation, knowing that was the intention that she was going for. Now at his chosen word, Cassandra had to hand it to him as it was a really good one. โGiven that you are aware of all that, I have no doubts that the steadiness will come to you. Just saying and thinking about it is the first step.โย
Feeling her cheeks slightly flush, she chuckled softly and shrugged, โThank you, Iโll keep that in mind.โ Normally sheโd deflect, but given what they had talked about she felt comfortable trying to be better for herself. With that, she locked eyes on him with a hopeful smile and nodded, โHappy New Year, Cormac.โ
Noise erupted all around the room from cheers, to greetings and chatter, from the bass of the music and the DJ's announcements. It was a start of a new year and for once, Cass felt lighter than ever. "Well I guess, that's that." she announced as she clapped her hands together.
