provocation expert kuroo san

TO: ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

FROM: ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

SUBJECT: ???

(1/8) UR RIGHT BUT IDK ANY LAWYRES WHAT AM I GONNA DO??

(2/8) HAHA BRO GOOD 1!!!

(3/8) HE DOESNT DELETE EVERY TEXT THO HE SAYS HE DOES BUT HE TTLY DOESNT

(4/8) LIKE 1NCE I WAS PLAYING CANDY CRUSH ON HIS PHONE AND HE DFNTLY HAD SOME *D

(5/8) TERE WAS THIS 1 WHERE I WAS LIKE U DID GOOD 2DAY AND

(6/8) WAIT A SECOND

(7/8) [image attached]

TO | ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

FROM | ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

SUBJECT | bro

(1/6) fcuk man just hire one they're spitting them out like spoiled milk. let akaashi be ur lawyer that'd be hilarious lol 

(2/6) i know im good at everything.. LOL

(3/6) ha ha ha holy fuck u guys are so into each other ill puke 

(4/6) ....not bad

(5/6) i'd take a lower angle....make it look bigger u know? like a magic trick. houdini style. 

TO: ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

FROM: ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

SUBJECT: TF

(1/6) WHOA!!!!!

(2/6) DUDE!!!!!!!

(3/6) WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!

(4/6) I CANT BELEIVE SOMEBODY POSTED MY PRIVATE VIDEOS ON THE WEB!!!!!

(5/6) WHATS NEXT MY NUDES?????

TO | BRO

FROM | BRO?

SUBJECT | BROOO

(1/5) lololol copyright that shit. ur being exposed! ur cute owl secrets....the world knows now huh? whats left for you?

(2/5) also what the fcuk

(3/5) i didnt get ur nudes bro 

(4/5) how would i even get them??? akaashi deletes-every-other-text keiji?

Inwardly grumbling to himself, Kenma presses his lips into a somewhat sulky line as he gives up his attempt at rattling his friend. There’s not much else he could do at this point anyways without making himself look childish for trying too hard. Instead, he focuses on continuously showing his displeasure for Kuroo’s attitude.

"It’s what happens, it’s the good end." Placing his game on the floor beside him as he draws his knees to his chest, Kenma keeps his gaze on the floor with his arms folded atop his legs.

He scoots once more, now toe to toe with his childhood friend, looking ahead as Kenma continues to make eyes at the floor. 

"Mh, I believe you." He mimics Kenma's position, getting comfortable. "Am I that weird? That's uncalled for. I'm just teasing, mostly." He moves closer now, peeking at whatever face isn't covered by knee and arm. 

夢で見た隈取した白いお狐様、位の高い稲荷神と聞いた。

まじか…

It’s his next reply that gets Kenma to really grimace. He’s doing it on purpose. The poorly concealed laughter is a dead giveaway, and makes Kenma feel like a fool for being concerned about his friend’s chastity in the first place. Is he really going to play like this? Why does he even want it explained… is he some kind of pervert? Such exasperated thoughts run through his head as he just stares at the older male, debating how to go about this. He can’t believe Kuroo is having fun putting him on the spot like this— well, no, no he can, because it’s Kuroo. It’s one of his more distasteful traits.

Letting his eyes trail off to the side, clearly in internal conflict, he’s not content letting Kuroo have his way this time. Usually it’s too much of a bother trying to one-up his friend, the master at provoking people, but his toes wiggle as his usual nonchalant attitude doesn’t seem enough. Not giving Kuroo the reaction he wants is generally good enough to thwart him, and so logically he should go that route again, but…

He bit his lip to stop the quick coming bolt of laughter upon viewing Kenma's infamous grimace, realizing his sweet, pure Kuroo wasn't as virtuous as he'd first claimed. A very mislead perception--not that Kuro had shared every sexual escapade he'd engaged in with his friend, anyway(most had been fooling around with Bokuto anyway). It wasn't necessarily a secret, but not exactly worth mentioning either. He'd bet Kenma already knew. 

The pause seems almost exaggerated--his friend thinking probably too hard on how to respond. That was bordering on concerning. If Kenma was focusing that hard, then...

--It's a vulgar response that hits him hard, curses and all. He says it like it were a volleyball play, rather than the shy, more coy reaction Kuroo had been baiting for. It's equally infuriating as it his priceless. The laughter that follows is breathy, the cat-eyed boy still stunned and, to be truthful, a little amazed.

"Seriously?" Kuroo starts. "How blunt."

"BL characters are supposed to be more attractive than real guys, Kuroo…" He talks to buy himself time and think about how to follow up. No matter how he looks at it, Kenma can only see this as some twisted test of their friendship. (Also, he finds it appropriate to point out that Kuroo can’t really compare himself to Koujaku).

"…are you sure you want to know what happens…?" Maybe if he hints at it… skirts around the topic… Kuroo will get it and there’ll be no further explanation needed. "There’s a reason I stopped. It’s an R-18 game… a BL game. Don’t you know what that means?” If he really doesn’t, Kenma almost feels bad for ruining his friend’s delicate innocence. Almost. After all, he is asking for it.

Kuroo barked a laugh at his friend's exasperated expression that followed, leaning back with a lingering smile. It was endearing in lots of ways really, nose scrunching up a touch and his small mouth running into a thin line--it was also hilarious, due to the fact he resembled an actual drone. Teasing Kenma was a sport Kuroo was much too good at (years of experience shaped him well), but it never got out of hand--usually. Both players were almost always in sync with one another, despite what others may believe ("What an odd looking combo." was a common statement they faced). 

"Kenma, are you insinuating my looks are otherworldly? You flirt!" The Captain fakes gasp as if scandalized and chuckles to himself, scooting closer to his pudding-head companion. Yeah, they had a nice balance.

A balance, that, in certain circumstances--could be broken, if the opportunity were to arise. In this case it had.

Kuroo wasn't stupid--he could tell what the other was getting at in a matter of seconds, his smirk growing all the while maintaining eye contact with Kenma. The gaze staring back was a sceptic, but otherwise surprised look. He could read it, of course. It'd be shameful if he couldn't! Kenma was dancing around the topic as if addressing it would defile his poor, assumed "innocent" friend--a hilarious concept. Perhaps he'd play the role. 

"It depends on what you mean by ‘freaky’… it’s rated R-18. But you’ll watch whether I want you to or not, won’t you?" And with that said, he continues on and endures his captain’s occasional interjections and questioning. He’d originally been aiming for Clear’s route first, but on Kuroo’s insistence, he’s well into Koujaku’s instead.

Clubbing and freaky skull guys commence, and a creepy “iiyo” sequence too before Kenma’s gaming skills kick in and he selects the right phrase. 

Do. Not.Give. In.

He hasn’t read any guides, but if his feeling is correct this should be the right choice. As he continues, and Koujaku and Aoba confess their love (although Aoba’s reciprocation is quite lacking), Kenma also has a feeling he knows what happens next. They start kissing, and in this kind of game the inevitable is—

"Well… I think this is a good place to stop." Straight faced and completely nonchalant, he saves his game and the screen returns to the title page. No matter how close they are, Kenma isn’t sure Kuroo is ready to watch him play the Big Sexe.

"So… what did you think?"

If he was being completely honest, Kuroo was pretty absorbed in the game himself, though he wasn't vocalizing it. Kenma had good taste, what with his years of filtering through games and visual novels (he was quite the critic as well).  It wasn't out of the ordinary for Kuroo to come by and watch, commentary and banter included.

Asides from the offered entertainment, it was nice to connect with Kenma on different levels asides from volleyball. Despite his calm expression, seeing his best friend so passionate about new things, videogames or otherwise, brought a smile to his face as well. 

Though, interest or not, Kuroo wasn't as immersed in the video game as Kenma was--zoning out on occasion, then immediately asking for a recap of the last five minutes. It was an annoying process for Kenma he was sure, but more so amusing for his fellow cat-eyed friend. He'd blanked for the third time now, staring more at the screen than the game. Kenma's words bring him back to reality.

"Well… I think this is a good place to stop."

He blinks once, then forms his train of thought into words. "Huh? What'd ya' stop for?" It's back to the game screen--was it over already? 

"I guess… I’ve had it for awhile though." He plays a lot of games, and not always straight until conclusion. Kuroo probably hasn’t seen this one yet; it’s one where he doesn’t have to grind or beat bosses, so Kenma finds himself switching it out somewhat frequently.

"Dramatical Murder," he immediately clarifies. He had calmly considered the hypothetical situation of Kuroo finding out, but the reality is a little different. Kenma shifts briefly in his spot on the floor, lets his eyes linger on his screen for a moment longer, then glances to his side.

"It’s a BL game, yeah."

Much like his friend got used to him, Kenma's growing pile of games was something Kuroo had easily grown accustomed to. It was tall, a few stacks of games belonging to various game systems. If it were anyone else, he'd question how he'd managed to find the money for all this, but--

Well, actually, maybe he should ask.

"What, this new?" Kuroo says, thinking aloud. He decides on putting that discussion aside for another day as his setter answers the first question.

He doesn't recognize the game much, watching mostly intently as images flash by in what seems to be the introduction. There are a range of different characters it seems, most men except for (a very spunky looking) old woman. 

So as he’s clicking through his game, having not bothered with headphones in an empty apartment, the sound of the door opening to reveal the figure of his roommate isn’t enough to make him look up despite the images on the small screen of his PSP. For a moment the idea that being seen playing this kind of thing would be kind of embarrassing crosses his mind, but ultimately the boy ignores it. After all, it’s just Kuroo; he wouldn’t care if Kenma was playing a BL game.

"…I think." Well, nonetheless, he better greet him. Otherwise the taller male might bug him even more.

"Welcome home."

Adjusting had never proved to be difficult for Nekoma's Captain. In his years in the city he'd learn to adjust, whether it be unfamiliar or difficult situations, he'd bare them--it was just how he'd grown up to be. Kuroo's arrival in Bedlam was a true test to this mentality. For weeks, he'd been alone--it was bitterly refreshing in a sense, though the guilt racking his shoulders over weighed what ever false freedom he had. The concern for his team, his family, his friends--it plagued him almost every moment. 

One could only imagine the teenagers wild grin upon finding his best friend in this dystopia rid of disease. Kenma wasn't much for hugs, he'd known, but that hadn't stopped him. Kuroo hugged him almost every moment he could, a small reminder of his luck.

He's whistling when he walks to their shared apartment (it was inevitable), unlocking the door quickly. "I'm baaack." The captain half yells. Saying "I'm home" still didn't feel right--he'd hope it never would. Tossing the keys to their neglected couch, Kuroo makes his way towards Kenma's spot on the carpet.

"What're you playing? Is it new?" He inquires, scooching closer to get a better view of the PSP. He gives it a glance over before speaking.

Never having been one to hold his tongue, Gideon speaks up without delay. As soon as the thought’s come to mind (and how quickly it does!), out with it. 

Of course, this wasn't Tokyo, and the commentator was not a friend nor acquaintance. Said captain was naturally startled--this was a complete stranger, after all. The new setting and new people, it was a lot to get used to. Not as if he had much choice.

"I'd say all night fits better." His sleeping positions are unique, what can he say?