Poetry and Performance

FRAT 

      PARTIES

  END

      POORLY

          AND I’M

              BORED OF THIS 

                    CRAP

         JOINTS DON’T

                    CRACK

                            THE

                                  PUZZLE

                          OF WHY I

                                          SHOWED 

            UP             IN A

           LOW-CUT 

           SHIRT

                 HOPING

                       FOR

BotcHed Replacement 

surgeries are the leading 

cause of unreplaced things. Planning your next 

trip to the doctor’s, this poPs into your head. 

Unlike your aim this is 

not true. UNlike your bow,

the strings of your heart 

all Quit on you

all you can ever attempt to do

Your mouths will open wide enough to eat a house

And your muscles will grow big enough

to make you hungry in an hour

And now that I’ve only got 4 papers left

to send you 4 more notes

I’ll write all your names on 2 and on the other

2 I’ll tell you

That I know your job aint easy but I think

that that’s the reason

people come back, people cheer and stare every season

Your teammates want you to explain, to abbreviate yourself

But I hope you don’t, your investors hope you don’t

You’re not even 26 and already bobbleheads on the shelf

A brand new day full of adventure;

in other words, this fuckin day’s got some potential.

Waves lap at the shoreline. My feet are pretty

fuckin cold, like an abominable snowman

eating a popsicle. What I’m trying

to say is, im fellin pretty fuckin frigid right about now.

My dawg enjoys his oishii as fuck dinner,

an I’m gettin pretty fuckin exhausted right about now.

I lay to sleep, ready for another buck-wild day with

my dawg.

I’ts question Tuesday

The Tuesday where I answer real questions from real nerdfighters

First question!

How do you fell about the Panama papers?

Hank as you know I’m going to do a video on the Panama papers,

but the more I researched the more complex, and boring, it got.

Suffice it to say that in this case, like all cases, the

truth resists simplicity.

Is nerdfighteria supposed to revolve around you or the community?

The community, of which I should merely be a small part.

Do you write poetry?

Not anymore, but teenage me wrote lots of terrible poetry.

Who the eff is Hank?

Hank is the Greek God of Wisdom Hank was born out of Zeus’ head and is famous for being a brilliant tactitioner, Hank also had a lot of issues with Poseidon.

When do you realize you’ve taken liking something too far?

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with liking something, or someone, it’s just often that it manifests itself in unhealthy ways. Maybe when you write a poem about it.

Poetry, like a

Poet Tree, with

Tree leaves. what leaves?

I leave

There is nobody here

It’s really awkward

who would want to find me?

I keep quiet.

I stay small.

Everything is so big and loud and I don;t know how

Things got this way

We evolved into satellites

I might silently spin in your orbit

Hoping you don’t notice

I’m here

I’m here for you

But there is nowhere for me

Hide and don’t seek

I’m in the closet

Literally and figuratively

Sorry, that’s too much information

I’m too much

You are a god send

I feel inferior

Hide and don’t seek

Do you care about me?

Sometimes I can’t teee

But it’s not your fault

Hide and don’t seek

I wish you’d find me

I keep quiet

I stay small

Government weapon program, stealthily gather info

Blue hedgehog and me, turbulent romance

Does Bruno Mars is gay? No.

Welcome to IHOP, surrender your weapons

I hate when people fuckin aaaagh!

Flora’s mother’s lamp. It got fired>

I’m sorry I keep upsetting you

?Si fuera angsty, me amarias mas?

insight, outsight, hindsight - I should’ve listened

edgy memes not quite edgy people

six six six six six six

It’s the light of her life

sitting in a room, counting words

wear u @ ? I miss u.

it lit up a dark room

its not muscle memory bringing me to you

its not even emma’s bedtime yet.

I can do this kick, nope

Fist will not fit in mouth

Now my beanbag has a hole

earrings off, drain open, random flail

truth or dare night and snapchat

well I didn’t get an interim

27 notifications in the past minute

Jack keeps ruining my sick burns

I’m the one you’ve heard about

Your grandfather was probably a misogynist

her sister’s ghost lives inside it

The cradle of our nation

watch the crowds shuffle by, impatient

at the fissures between white, black, hispanic and Hatian.

They see the stars in the sky and they just imagine how

great we could all be, so just imagine now

the world without tacos, quinoa, hamburgers and kung pao

and think back to your happy place, horse and cow.

If we all just shared the stuff, we would see what’s shakin

The prices drivin’ up, mommas at home bakin’.

Philadelphia Flyers Flyin’, LA Lakers Lakin’

on the sea of life

tossed by the great waves of the world

I am a small boat

with holes in it

and I will fight the power that tosses me around

some boats are bigger than me

and I am made of wood.

Some boats are not made of wood.

My captain is stupid

and frequently falls asleep

Jade does not do push-ups.