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In the days leading up to the festival, Aleph was approached by his dearest friends inviting him to join them. Hiroko was the first to reach him; she wasn’t scheduled for guard duty until later in the evening, so she asked if he would come with her when the festival opened in the late afternoon. Aleph, of course, agreed with great enthusiasm. Beth was second, who rather shyly asked if he would be willing to meet her after her guard shift, which conveniently ended just as Hiroko would be leaving for hers.

Aleph ventured out to Holytown to help with setup the day before the festival. He had come of his own accord and hadn’t been sent by the Bishop, but the Bishop had no objections when Aleph asked for permission to leave the Center. He spent all morning and afternoon moving supplies and building stalls. Zayin had been sent by the Bishop separately to help Aleph, though Aleph insisted that he didn’t need help or protection. Zayin stayed anyway and mentioned offhandedly that he, too, would be in attendance to the festival.

They sat together in the township’s bar for dinner once they had finished in the evening. When the bartender served Aleph’s food and drink, he also slid an envelope sealed with an elegant wax stamp across the counter, saying that a patron had left it for Aleph a few hours ago. Aleph tore the envelope from the top and read the contents of the letter that was inside.

Aleph,

Please meet me tomorrow before the fireworks show if your schedule so allows. There is no need to give your answer to the bartender. Your presence, or lack thereof, will suffice.

I remain yours sincerely,

Louis Cyphre

Aleph’s heart began to race and he felt his cheeks heat up. Just as Zayin leaned over ever so slightly to take a peek at the letter’s contents, Aleph quickly folded it back into the envelope and tucked it away. Aleph’s mind went through every possible believable lie about what was in the letter as his trembling hands held his silverware, but Zayin didn’t pry.

Aleph returned to Holytown in the late afternoon of the next day. He spotted Hiroko standing all alone just outside the entrance, looking around with worry on her face. She wore a sunny yukata with a warm floral pattern, and her hair was neatly pinned up with a matching flower hair stick. Aleph called out to her as he approached and she met him halfway.

“There you are!” she said, “Don’t worry, I haven’t been waiting long. I got here kinda late, too, but I started to worry that something happened,”

Aleph admitted rather sheepishly that he struggled with his yukata as he couldn’t quite remember the proper way to wear it. Hiroko helped him tidy up his earthy sage yukata that was in disarray and tightened the deep, wine red obi around his waist.

The humidity coupled with the crowd made the summer heat unbearable. Stalls of minigames were lined up neatly on either side of the pathway that led visitors through the festival grounds. The aroma from the food stalls wafted down the long street, the scent of the sweets drowned out in favor of the heavier fried snacks. There were couples strolling hand in hand, and children running after each other with sparklers.

Hiroko and Aleph browsed the games as they walked; most of them were designed for children, but they couldn’t help wanting to play some of them, anyway. Hiroko and Aleph stopped at a stall with a tank of goldfish. They were each given a scooper made with thin paper and were instructed to try scooping as many goldfish out of the water as they could until the paper tore. They stood crouched by the tank, surrounded by children and trying their best to catch any goldfish. In the end… neither of them caught a single one.

Aleph remarked at how strange it was that the game used real fish; he wondered where the stall owner got so many, and if the goldfish knew that they were part of a game.

“I guess it is a little weird… but they’re so small, it’s probably okay! It’s only for one night, so maybe it’s not so bad,” Hiroko said.

The next stall over was a game that required a skill Aleph was far too familiar with. It was the kind of game where players were meant to aim shotguns loaded with corks at the prizes to knock them down.

Hiroko handed Aleph the shotgun, “Here, your aim is better than mine. Win me something nice, would you?” she said with a bright smile.

Aleph scanned the variety of prizes lined up, some in disarray from previous players who gave up after a few shots. A little plush doll in the likeness of Poltergeist lingered near the edge of the top shelf. Aleph held up the shotgun and aimed for the doll’s hand. He pulled the trigger and the cork hit the doll right in the hand, but it only leaned closer to the edge; Aleph could certainly win it if he hit the doll at the right angle. He relaxed his body and took aim again. He pulled the trigger and hit the doll square in the head where it fell onto the table holding the shelves. The stall owner congratulated Aleph and handed him the Poltergeist doll, which Aleph then gave to Hiroko. She gasped and her eyes lit up as she took it into her hands.

“Are you sure!? You didn’t have to! I was only kidding, really, but…” Hiroko nodded as she hugged the doll, “Thank you…”

She glanced back at the shelf to see a rectangular box wrapped in patterned paper and labeled as a mystery prize standing upright amongst the other grand prizes. She pointed to it and said, “Let’s try getting that one!”

Aleph picked up the shotgun again and aimed for the very top corner of the box. The cork hit it with a thunk, and the box merely wavered. Aleph relaxed himself once again and, in an attempt only to get style points, aimed the shotgun with just one hand. He took a deep breath and pulled the trigger. The box toppled over and Hiroko cheered as Aleph dusted his hands off with a satisfied smile. He neatly peeled away the paper wrapping on the box, which had a decent heft to it, and lifted the lid to see an expensive combat knife. Though Aleph got by just fine with his sword and gun, he thought that the knife could probably still be of good use.

When the burning sun had finally disappeared, the festival was left with only the summer’s sticky humidity. Hiroko bade Aleph goodbye as she parted ways to report for her patrolling duty. Aleph meandered around, perusing some of the nearby stalls until he caught sight of Beth browsing one of the souvenir stalls. He weaved his way through the spaces between people to catch up to her and gently put a hand on her shoulder.

“Oh, Aleph! I’m happy you found me, it’s hard to get through this crowd,” she said, beaming at him. Her yukata was a powdery saxe blue much like that found on Messian garments. Without her headband, she had blunt bangs that sat across her forehead.

“Have you eaten yet? I passed by a few stalls serving things that I thought you might like,” she said. It was only now that Aleph realized he hadn’t eaten since arriving to the festival. He ordered a variety of snacks for them to share from different vendors. The meat of the yakitori had a perfect char on both sides, and the takoyaki was burning hot inside; ersatz, of course. Much of the snacks were designed to emulate popular foods supposedly eaten during festivals before the Great Cataclysm. The festival itself, too, was modeled after those of a time long past. For foods that were, at their core, all just made from Demi-Nandi, Aleph still found them to be quite delicious. There was even a stall selling absurd, borderline comedic sized rainbow cotton candy that Aleph and Beth shared together. The humidity melted it quickly and the sugar stuck in Aleph’s long hair. At one of the souvenir tables, he bought a few small boxes of sparklers.

Beyond a crowd of people surrounding a small stage area, Aleph caught a glimpse of a musical performance complete with dancers. The drums were so loud that he felt the sound reverberate through his chest. He stood alongside Beth, watching the performers and their intricate dance. Aleph had a growing feeling of someone watching over him. He glanced around, not finding anyone particularly suspicious. Absentmindedly, his hand wandered to his obi where he had safely tucked Louis Cyphre’s letter, just to make sure that it was still there. His thoughts ate at his mind so much that even once the show was over, he hardly realized that Beth had anything to say.

“They looked like they were having so much fun, but that dance looked so difficult. It makes me want to see you try it,” Beth said with a gentle laugh.

Aleph pretended that he’d paid attention to the whole performance, and said that he’ll consider joining the show next year.

Though the festival was meant to be a time for Temple Knights to have fun, Beth couldn’t help talking about work.

“You know… I’m happy we make such a good team. I was honored when the Bishop assigned me to be your partner, but… I was briefly worried that we wouldn’t work well together. But now… I feel safer with you. I hope we can be by each other’s side for a long time,” she said. Her head was tilted down slightly, and she avoided Aleph’s gaze.

For a while, Aleph had been getting the impression that Beth’s feelings for him extended beyond friendship. He respected her and appreciated the help she gave him in battle, but he could not reciprocate her feelings, for his heart already belonged to another. His hand wandered back up to his obi as he thanked her for the hard work she always put in.

Just as she was about to say something else, Beth and Aleph heard a familiar voice calling out to Aleph, and they saw Zayin approaching in an indigo yukata with a simple striped pattern.

“I’ve been looking for you, Aleph,” Zayin said, “I was planning on going down to the beach nearby before reporting back to the Center Headquarters. Do you two want to come with me?”

Beth’s eyebrow twitched ever so slightly. Aleph accepted without question, then turned to Beth for her opinion, but she said, “I… have something to do, so I can’t come with you. But Aleph… would you like to watch the fireworks with me tonight?”

Guilt crept through Aleph’s chest as he admitted that he had already promised to watch the fireworks show with someone else.

“… That’s okay, maybe we can see it together next year,” she said. She gave him a sad smile as he departed for the beach with Zayin.

The scents and sounds of the festival grew faint as Aleph and Zayin made their way to the nearest transport terminal which took them to another as close to the beach as they could get. Outside of the township, fireflies flickered in the air, lighting the darkness with tiny yellow specks. Aleph took a deep breath of the salty sea as they drew closer to the beach. Looking at his Arm Terminal, it seemed that he would need to extort a few demons to make back some of the macca he had spent that day.

They found a nice, open space on the beach near the waves that crawled up to eat at the white shoreline. Zayin sighed and stretched out as he fell backwards into the sand, Aleph sitting next to him with the bag of sparklers cast to the side. Zayin sat up quickly with a serious expression that Aleph certainly wouldn’t take lightly.

Zayin gazed deep into Aleph’s eyes, as if he were trying to see into Aleph’s very soul, “You wouldn’t keep a secret from me, right?”

Taken aback, Aleph nodded.

“And you wouldn’t lie to me, right?”

Aleph only nodded once again. He squeezed a handful of sand, letting the tiny grains slip through his fingers.

“Then that note the bartender gave you yesterday… What was it?”

Aleph’s heart pounded right into his ears as he confidently said that it was just a letter from an anonymous Holytown resident expressing their gratitude for the Messiah, but was too shy to approach him in person.

“That’s all?” Zayin relaxed, his hands sinking into the sand. “With the way you were acting, I worried you were keeping something from me,” he said.

Aleph gave an awkward laugh, as if to try to reassure Zayin that the idea of him keeping a secret from his dear friend was an outlandish thought.

“Sorry, I hate to ask, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Lately, the Bishop has been asking me give reports on you. I hate to lie to him, so I tell him as much as I can, but it’s difficult when you keep disappearing every few days. You’re not… running off somewhere, are you?”

Sweat glued Aleph’s yukata to his skin and his throat burned with the lie that he wasn’t running off anywhere in secret, he was just out aiding the people of Tokyo Millennium whether he was dispatched to their sector or not.

Zayin sighed and shook his head. “I believe you, of course, but you should be careful leaving the Center without permission. The Bishop might go easier on you, but it’s still against the law regardless of if you’re doing it for the sake of the people,” he said.

Aleph nodded guiltily, turning his head away to avoid having to face Zayin. His eyes wandered to the bag he’d dropped and he quickly dug out the sparklers he’d bought. He took one from a box and held it up to Zayin with a bright smile.

“Sparklers! I haven’t played with these since I was a kid. Or at least… I don’t think I have. My memory of it is fuzzy…” Zayin said with a glint of childlike wonder in his eyes. He took a sparkler and twirled it around between his fingers.

Aleph dumped out the entire box and a small pack of matches fell out with the sparklers. He lit Zayin’s sparkler and one for himself. The heat warmed his fingers as the flame crackled and ate at the stick. Aleph waved his sparkler around until it burned out. In a spur of the moment while Zayin was distracted, Aleph spun around to face his back towards Zayin. He worked quickly, fumbling with the matches and the sparklers, until he turned back around holding as many lit sparklers as he could fit in the spaces between his fingers. The light of his claws glowed in Zayin’s face who jumped and dragged himself backwards to distance himself from Aleph’s terribly dangerous stunt. The sparklers sputtered tiny embers that dissipated before even reaching the ground.

“Would you quit that!? You’re going to get one of us hurt!”

Aleph chased Zayin around the beach until there was nothing left of the sparklers, his maniacal laugh resounding over the woosh of the waves.

Aleph had gotten so caught up in playing around on the beach that he nearly forgot about the fireworks show. He wouldn’t make it in time if he tried to haul himself to the nearest terminal, so he summoned a demon capable of quick flight to carry him back to Holytown. Aleph could see the lanterns of the festival in the distance. He glanced down to see a lone figure on the rooftop of a building just outside the festival grounds. He point to the building for his demon to land, then returned them to his Arm Terminal.

Louis Cyphre sat on the raised ledge of the roof gazing out at the festival. His yukata was a deep red with an earthy sage obi, and his hair was tied back in a ponytail. Aleph kicked off his geta and hopped onto the ledge to join. His own yukata had loosened from all of his activities, exposing some of his chest. Louis gave him a gentle smile.

“So you’ve made it after all,” he said, “I would’ve waited for you inside the festival, but it seems that they have the security as strict as the Center, so I couldn’t get in. Have you enjoyed it so far?”

Aleph told Louis about his evening, but he had a feeling that he didn’t really need to.

Louis teased, “I wondered where you were going with that Zayin…You’re not seeing someone other than me, are you?” A smirk crept across his lips.

Aleph defended himself awkwardly and desperately, saying that he had never returned Beth’s feelings, and Zayin was nothing more than a friend.

Louis’ smirk grew wider as he took his teasing further, “And what was your great excuse for disappearing this time?” He put on his most dramatic impression of Aleph’s voice with an added playful inflection, “I’m sorry, Zayin, but I was assigned with helping set up the fireworks show, so please enjoy it without me!”

Then Louis leaned in closer, “Or did you have Hiroko cover for you once again, despite still keeping her in the dark?” He sat up straight again, “Forgive me, Zayin, but I already promised Hiroko that I would watch the fireworks with her this year!”

Aleph’s face burned iron-hot, tripping over his words to tell Louis that he didn’t need to come up with an excuse when he left the beach, but he worried that may he very well need to come up with one later if Zayin decided to interrogate him on his sudden departure.

Louis couldn’t contain his laugh, “Then I suppose you have until tomorrow to come up with something believable!”

Aleph turned his face away and they sat together in comfortable silence. Lanterns glowed brightly in the distance and Aleph could hear the beating drums of a parade. The cool breeze from so high up alleviated some of the sticky humidity and gave Aleph a pleasant sensation as it wafted through his yukata. He found himself shifting his body just barely enough to be closer to Louis. People began gathering for the fireworks show.

Aleph’s eyes wandered down to the street far below, his legs hanging off of the ledge. Breaking the silence, Aleph confided in Louis about how he sometimes felt that he may not have been sent by God at all; there were times when he certainly didn’t feel very saintly and worried that the role were not meant to be his at all.

“Does it truly matter that much to you? Would you feel less inclined to fulfill your duty if you were to learn that it was never yours by birthright in the first place?”

Aleph avoided facing Louis and kept his head down, the hair hanging by the sides of his face keeping him within the confines of his confession box. He shook his head; he would be content living as a simple Temple Knight if the title of “Messiah” were to be deferred to someone more worthy.

“Tell me… do you enjoy your work in the Center?”

Aleph tilted his head when he turned to face Louis, his torso twisted to give his full attention. Then, he said that of course he does. He was more than willing to do it if it meant helping the citizens of Tokyo Millennium.

“Is that so? But doesn’t it bother you to always have someone telling you what to do?”

Aleph thought to himself quietly for a moment before saying that while the Bishop’s endless commands irritated him sometimes, it was the inescapable nature of his job. He only wished that the Center did not rule Tokyo Millennium with such an iron fist, regardless of whether or not they did so in God’s name. He preferred for people to decide for themselves how to live, rather than be told by someone else.

Louis smiled and leaned on his hand that rested on the ledge, closing the space between himself and Aleph just a bit. Aleph’s heart jumped; their fingertips were just barely touching. He tensed his hand to steady the trembling.

“I see we’re the same in that regard,” he said. “It seems that perhaps Tokyo Millennium could use a change in leadership, don’t you think?”

Aleph raised his eyebrows in surprise, taken aback by Louis’ willingness to challenge the Center’s authority with such little hesitation. Then, he nodded his head subtly, saying he wished that the Center cared for the people of Tokyo Millennium more properly. Before Louis could say anything else, Aleph went on to complain in a low voice about how he found the Bishop and Center Elders’ methods to be rather extreme, and that he didn’t like how the weak were often left behind. He would never admit such opinions to his friends, but his time alone with Louis were Aleph’s place to speak his mind freely.

Louis looked back out at the festival. “While the Center’s actions disgust me, I can’t say I share the same sentiment as you about the weak. Tokyo Millennium grows ever unstable, and those who cannot defend themselves will be left behind one way or another,” he said.

Aleph’s eyes widened as he criticized Louis’ apathy, saying that one’s strength didn’t determine their value, and that everyone deserved a chance at survival.

“If they cannot defend themselves, then who will? You? Will you truly go out of your way to protect every citizen of Tokyo Millennium? What of those who slip from your grasp, the ones you inevitably cannot save? You’re only one person, after all,”

Aleph insisted that he would devote himself to protecting as many people as he could, as he was not given the title of Messiah for nothing.

“Your selflessness is something to be admired, always prepared to help others before you’re even asked. But do you do this because you truly want to? Or only because it’s the duty bestowed upon you?”

Hiding his irritation as best he could, because letting Louis see how easily he got under Aleph’s skin only meant that he would forfeit their debate before he even got to finish his argument, Aleph declared wholeheartedly that he truly would spend his days protecting the people even if it were not his given duty.

“Do you love Tokyo Millennium?”

Aleph gazed out at the bustling festival, at the parade winding down, at the children blowing bubbles together and playing games, at the adults savoring delicious snacks, at everyone gathering for the fireworks show. He did not love Tokyo Millennium; Aleph loved the people in it. He loved the annoying people of Holytown who implored him to attend the long and boring mass at the Great Church every week. He loved the workers of the Factory condemned to labor for opposing Center authority. He loved the people of the deepest slums of Valhalla, whose greed came from desperation. He loved the people of Arcadia, who enjoyed an existence of peace under Gimmel’s protection.

Louis stifled a low laugh under his breath, moving his hand closer so their fingers overlapped. Aleph’s heart raced and his breath hitched. The tingle in his chest traveled all the way to his teeth. He took as deep of a breath as his lungs would let him.

“Perhaps I should rephrase…” Louis said, “Do you love Tokyo Millennium as you love me?”

Aleph’s answer was no. He loved his home deeply and to betray his home and his friends would be to betray himself, but he could not confide in its people with his true feelings. He could count on one hand how many times a resident stopped him to ask how he was doing without the added praise and reverence that all would show him. He loved his friends dearly but he could not lay with them in his dorm at the Center headquarters after going through great lengths to sneak them in. He could not let them tear out the threads of his skin one by one down to his bones. He could not gaze with them into the mirror gifted to him that sat across from his bed. He could not enjoy a drink in a quiet corner of a bar with them, exchanging secrets in hushed tones. He could not speak of the world he wished for with any other.

Aleph then asked why Louis cared so little for the people of Tokyo Millennium.

“Moths who only wish to follow the light deserve no concern from me. If you’re so set on their safety, you can protect them yourself. Perhaps others will follow suit. Surely there can’t only be one like you,” Louis said. Then, he smiled pleasantly, seeing Aleph’s puzzled yet irritated expression. “I’m flattered if you’re worried for my wellbeing, but there is no need for you to go out of your way to protect me, so feel free to dedicate your energy to Tokyo Millennium instead,”

Aleph ruminated on Louis’ words, trying to make sense of the man he’d been slipping away to meet in secret for so long. Despite keeping their secret for what he would consider quite some time now, Aleph still felt that perhaps he didn’t know Louis very well at all, always learning something new that changed what he thought he understood.

Louis moved his hand to overlap with Aleph’s, his cold fingers clasping around Aleph’s warm ones. He took a strand of Aleph hair and gently twirled it around his index finger.

“Thank you for humoring me as always, Aleph. It seems that we learn more of each other with every passing day. I look forward to our next meeting,” Louis said.

The Bishop was not one who could be reasoned with. He went as far as accusing Hiroko of opposing the Center’s values and authority, which certainly wasn’t true; she only wished to find the little boy and her beloved baby who was stolen from her. The Bishop ignored her pleas to grant her some kind of grace as she only wanted to fulfill the task he himself had given her, but Hiroko was convicted of abandoning her post and was sent to one of the labs with a scientist who wasn’t Mekata, supposedly to “get her head checked”.

Hiroko could only groan half-consciously as her words caught in her throat. She could hear the scientist mumbling to himself while she struggled to hold her own head up. She heard him say something about “raising the output” and felt her thoughts fade faster with the droning buzz of the machine. Hiroko felt a pang of guilt when he said that her actions, whatever they may have been, were unworthy for a Messian. Slowly, her wish to continue her search outside of the Center began to disappear, replaced with only the desire to follow Center orders.

The cell Hiroko was thrown into was empty and cramped, but she found it to be rather fine. All of her time during the day was spent working the jobs assigned to her in the Factory sector. Though they were grueling tasks in the mines or the farms, she felt thoroughly satisfied being given the opportunity to do something productive for Tokyo Millennium. At least she wasn’t one of the unclean heretics in the slums of Valhalla, drowning in the Earthly vices Madam allowed unrestricted.

Not long before someone was to come escort Hiroko to her job for the day, she could hear an altercation between who she could only assume were other Temple Knights down at the other end of the hall. Even though she couldn’t leave on her own, she was wholly uninterested in seeing just what the commotion was about anyway, and wouldn’t have bothered to check even if she could leave. Fighting between Temple Knights was discouraged and sometimes a punishable offense, but she was sure that they would sort it out themselves, either by coming to an agreement or by threat of swift persecution.

Once silence fell, Hiroko heard heavy footsteps coming down the hall, stopping at each cell before reaching hers. The metal gate rumbled as it slid open and Aleph stepped inside with a little demon girl next to him. He had come to rescue Hiroko from the Factory. She tried to resist when he grabbed her to drag her out of her cell, “Hey! Let me go! I want to stay here! Stop it!”

Aleph fought with her exasperatedly, unwilling to give up. They paused when the little girl spoke up, “Is this lady your girlfriend?”

Aleph shook his head.

The girl swayed as she looked at Aleph, then at Hiroko, and then back at Aleph, with an inquisitive face.

“Hmm… still though, I can tell that you like her in some way. Okay then, I’ll give my power to Hiroko. If I become part of Hiroko, and you like her, then you’ll like me, too!” she said. Before Hiroko could protest, the girl skipped up to Hiroko and grabbed her hand, beginning to disappear as her spirit flowed into Hiroko’s body. The clouds in Hiroko’s mind dissipated and she felt her own strength returning to her. She massaged her temple with her hand as the ache in her head faded.

Hiroko looked around at the terribly dingy cell she had been left in. It smelled musty and the walls were built from rusting metal.

“Where am I? What am I doing here? I remember them bringing me here to the Factory, but everything else is just a blur… It felt like I’ve been asleep, and someone else has been controlling me. Thank you for coming to rescue me, Aleph. But… how did you know where to find me?”

Aleph briefly recounted how he managed to find her: he tracked down Mekata who told him that Hiroko had been imprisoned in the Factory for abandoning her post, and that Mekata would explain everything he knew if Aleph brought Hiroko back with him.

Hiroko gasped at the mention of Mekata, “You found Mekata!? We have to go back to him! Maybe he’ll know where to find that little boy, and…” her voice grew gentle, “my baby…”

Aleph led the way out of the Factory prison and Hiroko practically dragged him along behind her as soon as they exited the sector. Apparently, Mekata was hiding out near a Gaean temple in the slums of Valhalla.

Hiroko’s heart shattered into dust when they were stopped by Zayin in the underpass leading to Valhalla. Valhalla had been swallowed by the demon Abaddon. Zayin said that Abaddon had been instructed by the Center to do it, and lamented the lengths at which the Center would go to bring about the Thousand Year Kingdom before running off with a disgusted and disappointed countenance. Hiroko was sure that he, too, would be convicted and punished for abandoning his post. In place of Valhalla was now an inky chasm, reaching an endless depth that Hiroko could feel herself fall into.

Hiroko ruminated more on the demon girl’s words, replaying the scene in her head over and over. The demon girl had said that Aleph liked Hiroko to some level, but she wondered about the extent. She wondered what of the thoughts he had every time he looked at her. Whenever she looked at him, she saw a calm young man burdened with the weight of the world. He was mature enough to command his demons well, yet boyish enough to find joy in simple things like the disco or having a leisurely time in a bar. He had a noble heart that was willing to help anyone even if it meant taking a detour from their mission. His eyes were soft and gentle like a dog whose hobby was sighing wistfully from the couch. Hiroko did her best to support him in his duty, and hoped that she wasn’t just getting in his way. Though he was more than capable of surviving on his own, she couldn’t help but feel the need to do her best protecting him. She worried herself sick every time he sustained a lethal injury and made sure to keep practicing her magic for situations where they had run out of healing items, or Aleph didn’t have enough macca to summon a demon. She may have never truly met her baby, but she hoped that if they were ever to be reunited, she could raise him to be as capable as Aleph.

They often traveled in silence, only chatting much while in the safety of the Millennium townships. But even then, Hiroko found that Aleph was still rather quiet, never striking up conversation first and only approaching people when he was in need of intel. Even shopkeepers remarked how he wasn’t much of a talker. Yet, as if looking through the cracks in chipping paint, Hiroko could sense something more. Whether it be after several drinks in the bar or in a moment of peace when they could admire the landscape of Millennium without being accosted by demons, it seemed like he was suppressing something. She didn’t want to pry, but couldn’t stop herself from worrying anyway.

For reasons Hiroko could never articulate, there was a kind of beauty she found in the view of Millennium. If she weren’t so intent on finding Mekata as soon as possible, she would spend more time gazing over the sectors of Millennium from the highest places she could find. The Factory and Valhalla were poorly maintained, the Factory being filled with industrial buildings expelling smog that formed a thick cloud over most of the sector, and Valhalla being forced to sustain itself on its simple entertainments as Madam was afforded little resources by the Center. Holytown was the second most cared for sector after the Center itself. Its skyscrapers and churches glittered in the dark and its streets were kept well cleaned. It almost could be a glimpse into Tokyo before the Cataclysm. Arcadia was the only sector that couldn’t be seen from a distance, being a virtual world that required special access. But regardless of the weathering buildings of Valhalla that nature was slowly reclaiming, or the steep cliffs and mountains of the Factory, or the sparkle of Holytown, Hiroko could spend forever admiring it all.

While in the Holytown sector, Hiroko and Aleph caught the TV tower showing news on Zayin’s betrayal of the Center. He was branded a liar and threat to Millennium, and the Center had called for his capture, so anyone who saw him was to report to the nearest Temple Knight. Quickly, the news program cut and Zayin appeared on the screen, announcing the Center’s true intentions to all of Millennium. Hiroko stood entranced, the wind blowing dark clouds over the golden sky as Zayin warned that Valhalla’s fate was only the beginning, and all of Millennium would soon be destroyed, save for the worthy few who would be allowed to enter the Thousand Year Kingdom when the wheat had been separated from the chaff. It was then that Hiroko realized just how truly lucky she was that Aleph came to save her from the labor camp that was the Factory. When they ran into Zayin preaching his ideas to a group in Holytown shortly later, Hiroko and Aleph both neglected to inform the next Temple Knight they saw.

Hiroko waited until they passed through a quiet corner in the township to ask Aleph, “Um… how are you feeling? You don’t really talk about yourself much, so I thought I’d ask. I guess I’m just… worried,”

Aleph slowed his pace to a stop and kept his back turned to her. He stayed silent for a few moments that were excruciating to Hiroko until he said that he was just fine, but Hiroko knew much better.

She pretended to have just remembered something, “By the way, what happened while I was in the Factory? They didn’t make you go on missions alone, did they?”

They sat in an empty room to rest while Aleph told her everything that happened after she was escorted away by the Bishop’s command. He told her about his duty as the Messiah bestowed upon him by the Bishop who claimed that Aleph had been sent by God. The woman Hiroko had seen in passing was his assigned partner, Beth, who died protecting him from a man named Daleth when he challenged Aleph to a battle in the Colosseum. Hiroko wished that she could’ve met Beth at least once, but she was grateful that Beth worked so hard to keep Aleph safe.

Hiroko let Aleph’s words stew in her mind for a few minutes. He kept it short, and seemed like he didn’t want to talk about it more, or that he was still trying to process it all himself.

Hiroko hugged her knees to her chest, “That’s… a lot of responsibility to throw onto someone. Are you sure you’re okay with it?”

He hesitated to answer, only staring at the floor before saying that it was the duty expected of him, and he was willing to fulfill it by any means necessary. Hiroko was reminded of the Bishop giving her no say in her participation in the project that she still didn’t know the outcome of. Hiroko reached her hand out to him.

“Have you always been… quiet?”

Aleph shook his head and said that he wasn’t sure. Much of his memories still hadn’t returned, except for a few that he struggled to describe. He couldn’t remember anything about himself from before Okamoto picked him up.

“Why not talk more? Y’know… it gets kinda awkward sometimes walking around in dead silence,” Hiroko said, though she was only teasing him. She could see the faintest tint of blush paint his cheeks. She leaned in closer to him, “What? Don’t tell me I’m not fun to talk to!”

His eyes widened, shaking his head again desperately while trying to find the words to defend himself. Hiroko just laughed, “I’m just messing with you,” she said, “But… you know you can tell me anything, right? You don’t have to bear anything alone,”

Aleph avoided her gaze, shrinking into himself. He must have realized Hiroko noticed that he always had something on his mind. He sat silent for so long that she began to worry she’d said something wrong. Eventually, slowly and quietly, as if he’d find himself in trouble if anyone else were to hear, Aleph admitted that he prefers not to speak to avoid burdening others with his thoughts or feelings. Hiroko only took his hand in comfort, understanding that he probably didn’t want to talk about it more.

Before they found themselves descending beneath the surface, Aleph and Hiroko had met a strange blonde man named Louis Cyphre in the Holytown bar who told them that Abaddon was rumored to be in the underground, in the ruins of old Tokyo atop which Millennium was built. Hiroko was eager to find a way there and track down Abaddon, but Aleph suddenly seemed to be in no particular rush, chatting away with Louis Cyphre as if the world would never come to an end. There was a charming air about Louis Cyphre. They hit it off quickly like they had already known each other before. Though, most of their conversation was Aleph just quietly listening to Louis Cyphre talk. It must have put Aleph into a good mood, as he seemed much more refreshed as they were leaving the bar. When Hiroko asked if he knew Louis Cyphre, Aleph said that it was the first time they’d ever met.

Hiroko wasn’t quite sure if she would call her feelings towards Aleph love necessarily, as she certainly felt differently about him than she had about Daleth while she was under the unfortunate influence of the Infidelity Sap. Despite her finding Daleth a nuisance for provoking Aleph on so many occasions, she was at least happy that he found someone he loved, even if he was just under Annwn’s spell. Daleth looked at his new fairy lover with a particular sparkle in his eyes, like no other woman could ever compete. Whenever Hiroko caught a glimpse of Aleph’s gaze, he was more relaxed, almost relieved to not have to endure his journey alone. When he lay dying of a fatal demon attack, the anxiety in his eyes washed away at the sight of Hiroko standing over him through his blurred vision. Hiroko often imagined herself tending to her child while she healed Aleph’s wounds. Perhaps he tripped and fell, or got a paper cut on a drawing her made for her. She’d tell him that he’ll be okay as she heals his wound before sending him off to play again, or maybe even join him herself. Hiroko would have to blink her tears away quickly before Aleph could notice.

She couldn’t help but pity Aleph. Nearly everyone he talked to wouldn’t shut up about him being their savior. They all seemed so genuine, unlike the reactions she had gotten from Messians and Temple Knights during her pregnancy. And yet, not a single one of them ever asked him how he was feeling. She couldn’t bring herself to fault Aleph for it, though; being a savior sent by God was out of his control. Perhaps God had partnered her with Aleph out of pity for the loss of her baby, or as some kind of cruel joke.

The longer it took them to track down Abaddon, the more Hiroko grew to resent the Center Elders and the Bishop. She was so close to reaching the answers she so desperately needed and they ripped it away from her without a second thought. She was relieved that she could finally take her rage out on them when they revealed themselves to be the archangels and promptly attacked her and Aleph for being “traitors”. It pained her heart to hear them call Aleph a failure of a savior. Though she nearly died in battle, she was thoroughly satisfied ridding Millennium of the so-called Elders. The only one left not slain was Gabriel who understood her and Aleph’s actions, admitting that the other three archangels acted out of line.

Hiroko still had her mind set on finding Abaddon. At least she could exact her revenge on him for swallowing Valhalla and taking Mekata with it. As they fumbled around Millennium and the Expanse, Hiroko and Aleph ran into Louis Cyphre a handful of times at different bars. She even began to think it might be intentional, that he had been watching them the whole time and made sure to make himself present at bars when she and Aleph needed guidance the most. Humans weren’t a common sight in the Expanse, and she questioned just how someone like Louis Cyphre was able to travel to the Expanse when she and Aleph had to go through so much just to enter from a back door. Even gathering the pillars required to enter properly took a great deal of effort. Aleph seemed to trust him well, yet she couldn’t help but be suspicious of him. She wasn’t sure if she was jealous, or maybe just overprotective. He seemed too easily likable, and his manner of speech towards Aleph was borderline flirtatious. She worried that he might have something planned that would only bring harm to Aleph. But she was hesitant to mention it to Aleph, afraid that he might take offense, thinking that she believed him to be too dense to see through people. It was rather awkward sitting with Aleph and Louis Cyphre quietly enjoying her drink while they chatted, so she often floated around the bar asking patrons if they’d heard any rumors about a missing little boy or a baby from the Center. Her heart sank every time someone told her that they hadn’t heard anything.

Hiroko remembered her disappointment in having to abstain from drink during her pregnancy and now caught herself nearly drowning in it. Since the incident at the Center headquarters, her desire for nothing only grew. She wasn’t quite sure what it was, but she still struggled to sleep, and then struggled to get up during the day. She picked up the habit of sleeping late, causing her and Aleph to set out at less than ideal times. But she was grateful for his patience, silently understanding that she needed to rest more even if he didn’t know what was wrong with her. She still prayed for her baby’s safety every time before she slept. She would never admit it to him, but sometimes she would pretend to still be asleep once she had woken up, daydreaming about her baby and what could have been. During moments of rest on their journey, there were some occasions when she wasn’t quite ready to set off yet, but could only sit around feeling guilty about the wasted time; Abaddon had surely already digested Valhalla, and there was no chance that they would find any remnants of it, and they would never be able to meet with Mekata, and her baby was surely gone forever. In times like this, Aleph’s only choice was to force her up, not out of frustration, but out of urgency and worry that she would rather let herself be eaten by a demon than continue forward in the search for Mekata.

At least with the variety of drinks in the bars, Hiroko could feel some semblance of anything besides the grief of her loss. Against her will, the memory of the doctor leaving the infirmary with her baby often replayed in her head. Perhaps she should have jumped down the chasm where Valhalla once was, it may have been soon enough for her to still find traces of the sector, or even just Mekata. Or at the very least, she could have had her revenge on Abaddon sooner.

Hiroko’s drink tasted salty from her tears and it was only when Aleph had finished his chat with Louis Cyphre and was ready to leave that he found her sitting all alone at the end of the bar counter with a mostly empty glass. She looked up at him when he placed a hand on her shoulder. Unable to contain herself, she sobbed as Aleph pulled her into a tight hug, “Oh, Aleph…!”

It wasn’t until they were taken to Kether Castle and the mysterious Louis Cyphre appeared in his true identity as Lucifer did Hiroko come to understand. He claimed that the return of Satan would lead to the destruction of the world, including the Expanse that Lucifer rules and protects with his life. Residents of the Expanse had spoken quite highly of him to Hiroko, but she couldn’t help still having doubts. Aleph was eager to accept Lucifer’s challenge to return to Kether Castle on his own but Hiroko was far more hesitant, almost wanting to outright stop him. Lucifer stressed that he wanted Aleph’s decision to be his own, but Hiroko worried that Lucifer had a hold on Aleph, influencing him in ways that Aleph had never realized. While she held a similar sentiment that God and Satan must be stopped, she wasn’t convinced that allying with Lucifer was the best strategy. Just before they were to leave Kether Castle, Hiroko pulled Aleph aside, asking him to step out of the room just briefly as she had something to ask Lucifer. He obliged, of course, and Hiroko turned back to the vast space one could call Lucifer’s throne room. It seemed to span forever with stars dotting the sky, tall pillars standing as far as the eye could see, and sunlight just barely peeking over the horizon.

Hiroko once again approached Lucifer suspended high above her in all his glory, enveloped in sparkling light. She squinted to see him, “What are you really after?”

Lucifer raised his eyebrows, taken aback, “My, do you believe I intend to deceive you? Though, I suppose I understand your concern; we’ve never spoken much, have we?”

“If we help you, what’s stopping you from killing Aleph when you don’t have a use for him anymore, or taking God’s place and ruling over humans?” Hiroko kept her hand on her whip, fully understanding who she provoked.

Lucifer descended before her, his fluffy wings making a gentle woosh. “Should we succeed, what happens to the surface is up to you humans. I only wish to protect my subjects here in the Expanse,” he said.

Hiroko narrowed her eyes and furrowed her eyebrows, pointing a finger right at him, “You’re full of shit,”

“Quite the opposite, O Holy Mother,” he said, “I’m just as disgusted as you with the actions of the archangels. Ridding the world of Satan and God will free us all from their oppressive power. I have no desire to rule over you humans, I would much rather see you decide for yourselves how to be governed. You do know who granted free will to humanity, do you not?” He gave her an innocent smile.

“And what if Aleph decides not to help you?”

“Well, I can’t say I won’t be disappointed, but I will respect his decision,” Lucifer said.

“You won’t hurt him,” Hiroko said with absolute conviction. She held her whip tighter to stay her trembling hand.

“I admire your dedication to protecting him, you must truly love him to treat him as family in a world where it’s difficult to find trustworthy individuals. While I sense his strength, it’s possible he wouldn’t have made it as far as he has without you. I hope you don’t think I intend to whisk him away! I have no control over whatever his feelings towards me may be,” he said with a teasing lilt in his voice.

“You put him under a spell,” Hiroko said, narrowing her gaze.

“I can assure you I haven’t, I prefer for my allies to join me of their own volition,” Lucifer said.

Hiroko took a step back and loosened her hold on her whip. She was sure that he would try to kill them if they decided not to ally with him even if their own plan would still benefit him, but perhaps now was not the time to provoke him.

“I’ll… let him decide for himself,” she said, before returning to Aleph and leaving Kether Castle. She did not tell Aleph the details of her conversation with Lucifer.

While Hiroko did her best to let Aleph make his own decisions, she always felt her own way about them. She preferred lightly guiding him, not wanting to influence Aleph’s decisions too much unless it directly put him in danger, like demons who tried to solicit inappropriate things from him in exchange for becoming his ally. She avoided coming off as too extreme, seeing his argument with Zayin over Zayin’s resolve in building what he claimed to be a true Thousand Year Kingdom. Despite Aleph’s usual calm and gentle attitude, he admitted rather harshly that he believed creating the Thousand Year Kingdom would fix nothing, and it would only perpetuate God’s oppression upon the world. Their dispute was only verbal, but Hiroko briefly worried that she may have to play the role of mediatrix if it escalated into something physical. Zayin must not have been interested in hearing how Hiroko felt, not bothering to ask or even address her, and only casting them out of Eden just like those from long ago. Aleph may have regained his composure, but Hiroko could tell he was still agitated, what with the way he pushed himself more against each demon he faced in battle.

Hiroko came to resent Zayin for refusing to hear Aleph out, but she still wasn’t convinced when Aleph ultimately decided to aid Lucifer. And yet, she could not will herself into parting ways with Aleph. She certainly could have left to search for her baby alone and stop Aleph and Lucifer herself if they became a true threat, but the guilt would eat her alive to find his body cast aside, victim to a demon he couldn’t handle on his own. She couldn’t trust that Lucifer wouldn’t leave Aleph to die as his consequence for being too weak. Though strength was necessary to survive if one lived outside of the Center, Hiroko still found value in companionship. In a way, she wished that they could’ve convinced Zayin to join them.

At long last, they had found Abaddon and entered his insides in search of the remains of Valhalla. Immediately, Hiroko gagged, “Ugh! This is disgusting!”

After slogging their way through Abaddon’s guts, Aleph and Hiroko found Valhalla’s township. Some of it had already disappeared, but enough remained.

“Quick!” Hiroko said, “Where did you see Mekata last!?”

Aleph led her to a secluded room behind the Gaean Temple. She threw open the door to see Mekata standing there, pale as if all of his energy had been sapped from him.

“Aleph!” Mekata said, “I can’t believe you’ve made it… I can’t believe the Elders really made Abaddon swallow Valhalla. They didn’t want you to meet with me out of fear that I would tell you everything, but they couldn’t find me, so they employed Abaddon to swallow the whole sector. Since they had no use for the place anymore anyway, I’m sure they had no hesitations. I see you managed to save Hiroko, thank you–”

Hiroko interrupted before he could continue, “Where’s the baby!? Don’t tell me you lost him!” The room was empty other than Mekata, and it spun around Hiroko as she began to feel lightheaded.

“I’ll get to that, first–”

“Hurry up!” Her vision blurred as she focused solely on Mekata. Aleph gently touched her arm and looked at her with sympathetic eyes, as if to say that she needed to calm down.

Mekata continued, explaining how the project Hiroko participated in wasn’t quite to improve Millennium’s population, but to forcibly and artificially create a savior after the Center Elders grew impatient waiting for God to send one Himself. Additionally, four others were created as part of the project: Zayin, Beth, Daleth, and Gimmel. While those four were created through cloning technology, the savior was born of a real human egg that had been modified and incubated by a human woman before being placed into a tank that accelerated his aging by ten years per day for two days.

“Then… that means…” Hiroko’s breathing hitched as she became freezing cold despite sweating under her uniform. Her legs felt weak and she swayed in her stance; she would’ve lost her balance in her heels if it weren’t for the wall she leaned against for support. She thought of the brief glimpse she caught of her baby before he was taken away.

“Yes, the baby you carried was… Aleph,” Mekata said.

Hiroko felt her tears run down her cheeks and the guilt she carried for so long finally lifted from her chest. She’d never considered that her beloved baby she searched so long for could’ve been traveling with her all along.

Then she gasped and her eyes widened, “What about that little boy!?”

Mekata only raised an eyebrow, “Little boy?” Hiroko told him about the mission she was sent on by the Bishop to find a little boy who went missing after the incident. Mekata sighed and shook his head, “No, the Bishop must’ve lied to keep you from figuring things out yourself. Aleph, and everyone else created for that matter, wasn’t removed from the tank until the second day, when he already would’ve been an adult. Though, I never expected that you would leave the Center to search for him,”

Then Mekata continued again, “For a while, I followed the Center’s orders to the letter, but even I eventually couldn’t stand their ‘Messiah Project’. Artificially creating humans, programming them to fulfill the Center’s every order, and forcing my own daughter to participate… So Hanada and I decided to erase your memories, Aleph, almost everything the Center had implanted to give you a false past, as well as severing any loyalty to the Center. I wanted you to decide for yourself if you would align with them. Then, we created a diversion to escape. Hiroko… I wanted to take you with me, but I couldn’t get to you in time, and I certainly wouldn’t have had time to erase the memories the Center gave you of being a Temple Knight,”

Hiroko wasn’t sure how much more she could take, her hands trembling far too much to hide, “You’re…”

“Yes…” Mekata said, “I’m sorry, Hiroko. I was obsessive about following the Center’s orders. After your mother died, I struggled to care for you while continuing my research, so I felt forced to give you up, believing you’d live a better life with a family that lived in the Center. But… after much thought since then, I’ve realized that only I forced myself,”

Hiroko burst into tears, choking on her breath and nearly doubled over. All of the times Mekata took care of her during her appointments or advocated for her when the Bishop had ridiculous demands ran through her mind. The sorrowful look in his eyes was burned into her memory. She thought of what could have happened if she had been faster getting to Mekata that day. Or, it may have been better for her to have never sought out Abaddon. If she had returned to the Center with her tail between her legs like a dejected dog instead, they at least might have erased her memories of ever having her baby.

“Everything here will disappear soon, even I hardly have any time left. You both need to leave as soon as possible. This Magnetite Presser will give you access to Abaddon’s heart and allow you to kill him,” Mekata said, handing over his final gift to them. Mekata was already fading away.

“Farewell, my greatest creation, Protoype 1… Farewell, my beloved daughter…”

“No!” Hiroko reached out to Mekata, “You have to tell me more! Please! You can’t just disappear on me! You… coward!” She collapsed to the floor, inconsolable once again. Her words caught in her throat as she sobbed, her grief and guilt all crushing her with the weight of a building. Just as she thought she could crawl out of that inky chasm, she slipped back in, falling deeper than the depths in which they found Abaddon. She held her hand on the gun in its holster around her waist.

The ground trembled and quaked as the remains of Valhalla were soon to disappear. Aleph was forced to drag Hiroko out, throwing her over his shoulder as he rushed to find Abaddon’s heart. Even in the battle, Hiroko was practically dead weight, missing most of her attacks and struggling to drag herself back up after sustaining a heavy blow from Abaddon.

To keep himself from having to fight with her, Aleph continued to carry Hiroko through the Expanse. Though she had eventually gone quiet, he knew she was in no condition to fight. While keeping demons summoned to help him fight in encounters sucked away his Magnetite, it was better than risking Hiroko’s life. In Chesed’s temple, he dumped her into the healing spring in hopes that she’d come to her senses. The wounds on her body had healed, but her heart still felt heavy with the longing for something she’d already found. It felt as if she had missed everything, only meeting her baby when he had already grown up. She had long forgotten the list of names she had to give her baby. Aleph was a lovely name.

Hiroko laid by the shore of the spring, lost in thought. Tears welled up in her eyes again when she looked at Aleph sitting next to her. She reached out to him, peeling herself off of the ground and pulling him into a tight hug. She pulled his visor off and gave him a kiss on his forehead. She cupped his face in her hands and studied every detail of his features, trying to imagine what he looked like up close as a baby. Even now, he still looked so innocent.

Aleph had already long decided that he would return to Kether Castle to aid Lucifer, but Hiroko only now came to her final decision. Allowing the Thousand Year Kingdom to come to fruition would only perpetuate the suffering Millennium already endured under the Center’s control, but she didn’t find it fair to help humanity and leave the Mutants of the underground or the residents of the Expanse to fend for themselves. The Center had a longstanding teaching that all who dwelled in the Expanse were incarnates of pure evil, and the Mutants were beings they never discussed, as if to pretend they didn’t exist. Hiroko had come to realize that perhaps the Center’s teachings were thoroughly incorrect. In the underground, there was once a Mutant who said that they only wished to see the sun that shined over Tokyo again. Hiroko had stopped praying for her baby’s safety even long before Mekata told her the truth, because a loving god would have never forced her to endure such horrors. When they finally reached Kether Castle again, the only thing left to do was slay God Himself.

In His final moments, He said that humans were too weak to live without one to cling to, and as long as humanity sought His salvation, the Great Will would continue to recreate Him in perpetuity.

Lucifer was more elated than even Aleph or Hiroko, seeming to shine more brightly even in the light that now bathed the underground.

“You’ve both done wonderfully,” he said, “God cast us demons into the Expanse, but with him dead, we have nobody to oppress us any longer. Even the Mutants have received the light they so desperately longed for. You humans, too, have gained true freedom… freedom to reestablish the peace if you so desire. Regardless of what you choose to do, you will always be welcome to visit Kether Castle,” Lucifer extended his hand out to Aleph and Hiroko.

She wondered what Aleph would do next, if he planned to return to Kether Castle with Lucifer for a while, or stay to rebuild the surface. No matter what his wish may be, Hiroko swore to stay by her beloved baby’s side for as long as she could.

Hiroko crossed her arms and leaned on one hip, “Why does it have to be me?”

“Because the project requires a strong woman, and the Elders and I decided that you would fulfill the role,” the Bishop said.

Hiroko shifted her weight to her other hip, “How long do I have to decide on this?”

“This is an order, not a request. The egg has already been modified and the project will get underway shortly, before you begin your usual duties,” the Bishop’s voice was stern, as if she were expected to agree without question.

“You’ll be well taken care of,” Mekata said. Hiroko felt a vague sense of familiarity whenever she looked at him, as if she had known him in a past life.

“Is this really okay? I’m not even married,” she said.

“It is God’s will,” was all the Bishop said as Hiroko was escorted away, to a lab where she was implanted with an egg taken from an unknown donor. She was to carry the baby to term, and was given strict dietary restrictions, as well as a rigid daily routine that would be adjusted over the course of her pregnancy. Within the first month, she was only given tasks that were in or near the Center headquarters.

Hiroko sat at the edge of her bed with her head in her hands, trying to stave off the growing sickness. Discomfort ate at her whole body and it felt as if there was a parasite inside her. She could only anticipate the long nine months before the parasite would rip its way out of her body. She took a deep breath and looked over the schedule she was given. On this particular day, she was scheduled to have her first medical assessment with Mekata and Hanada. Her assessments were to be monthly and had been set up in advance, which she thought was excessive. Her dread grew at the thought of having to let two older men examine her body and wellbeing, as they were the only two working on the project.

The lab was cold and unwelcoming, the bright lights and sterile smell only worsening her sickness. She sat on the operating bed, dizzy and fatigued. Hanada had his back turned to her, looking at a computer with her medical records pulled up. Mekata approached her to take her blood pressure. Seeing him closer, he had faint strands of fading blonde in his graying hair, fleeting like cherry blossoms in spring. Behind the stern expression on his face, Hiroko felt a deep sadness within his eyes.

He let go of her arm, “How have you been feeling?”

“Sick,” Hiroko said.

“That’s only natural,” he said, “It should disappear in a few months, but let us know if it doesn’t,” Hiroko closed her eyes as Mekata stepped away to write something down. She felt him wipe her arm down when he returned, then the sharp prick of a needle into her forearm.

“Don’t tense up,” he said just as her muscles began to tighten. He handled her with the gentleness of a father tending his child’s wound.

Hiroko kept her eyes shut, “Do you have to take blood?”

“I’m following the protocol ordered by the Bishop,” Mekata said flatly. Hiroko kept her eyes closed until she felt the bandage wrapped around her arm. She took a deep breath.

As she continued the rest of her physical, she asked, “So… what is this project meant to do, anyway? I carry the baby to term, and then what?”

“That’s confidential, we can’t tell you that,” Mekata said.

“Well, don’t I deserve to know since I’m so involved?”

“You’re asking too many questions, lady!” Hanada said, hardly looking away from the computer as he copied the things Mekata had written. Hiroko just scoffed. Compared to Mekata, Hanada seemed much more of a mad scientist, and she just hoped he wouldn’t make the project take an unethical turn.

As her physical concluded, Mekata reviewed her routine. He handed her a sheet of paper and pointed to a date at the top. “Starting on this date, you’ll switch to this schedule,” he said, then flipped the sheet over, “And this will be your meal restrictions,”

Hiroko sighed as she stood in the hallway looking at the sheet. Her nausea still hadn’t dissipated.

Hiroko’s parents were delighted when she told them about her part in the Center’s project and congratulated her for being chosen to be involved in something so great. In their presence, something about them felt distant to her, as if she didn’t really know her parents. She only had vague memories of them and her childhood. The memories were fuzzy, as if she had tried to make them up herself. She had a particular memory of being on the phone with her father, but he sounded much different in person than over the phone. Perhaps the speaker was low quality or she was remembering his voice wrong, since that conversation had taken place when she was only a child. She couldn’t remember what the conversation was about.

When it came time for her to switch to her new schedule, Hiroko was summoned before the Bishop to discuss her new role. She was now confined to patrolling the Center headquarters, as to avoid injury that would put the baby at risk. She was told by the Bishop that any complications would be reported as her fault, and may result in her execution. Hiroko was also given a new set of clothes, as her old uniform had grown tight. She now matched her fellow Temple Knights better, which she found disappointing. It was a fight to be able to wear the uniform she already had, but she was relieved that she had something less restricting wear. Women were normally expected to wear shoes with high heels but Mekata protested that prolonged wear of them would eventually affect Hiroko’s health, so she was granted special permission to wear different shoes. She left her ascot on and kept her red whip draped around her body. Though she wouldn’t need it anymore, she found comfort in carrying it with her.

Hiroko struggled to sleep most nights, which Mekata told her was relatively normal. She grew to trust him over the course of her assessments; he was a much more respectable man than Hanada. Hanada seemed quick to irritate, so Hiroko usually avoided initiating conversation. As she struggled to sleep on a late night, she got out of bed and wandered the quiet headquarters until she found herself standing in the nave of the chapel. She gazed upon the golden Messian cross above the altar and out of her pocket pulled out a tiny pair of yellow knitted baby socks. She had found them months ago while on a mission near the Center headquarters. She felt the soft yarn between her fingers, thinking about the baby she carried. Though the project was carried out by the Center, she couldn’t help but wonder if it was truly in the best interests of Tokyo Millennium residents. She was unmarried, and the egg did not belong to her. She was told that this was an honor. She wondered if it was truly God’s will for her to conceive without being married, and if this really was the duty of a woman under the Order of Messiah. Mekata and Hanada still kept details of the project from her, only repeating that it was meant to improve the reproductive ability of Millennium residents. Hiroko wondered what would become of the baby once it was born. She was under the impression that she may have to go as far as raising it, and quietly dreaded it as she wouldn’t even know where to begin taking care of a baby. If it were truly the will of God, she would do her best to welcome the baby. She clutched the little yellow baby socks. She collapsed under the golden cross asking God to forgive her if this were not His will, her tears pooling on the marble altar. Oh God…

Whenever she looked in the mirror, Hiroko saw a blonde woman who resembled herself, but was so far removed that it certainly couldn’t have been her. Her face had become more round with the puffiness of her cheeks and there was no way to hide the fatigue in her expression. That once youthful face she wore was now fading.

While on her patrols through the Center headquarters, she found herself ruminating more on the project and the baby. She had grown accustomed to the feeling of carrying a life inside her, but that discomfort she felt before still persisted. She had begun to grow attached to the baby, hoping that she was protecting it well. None of her physicals had come back abnormal. Mekata and Hanada never mentioned anything about a name, so Hiroko decided to consider some as the Bishop would surely thrust even more responsibility regarding the project onto her. She struggled to come up with anything that she liked, but thought it would be best not to rush. She had the time to spare. She thought of names for both a boy and a girl, as Mekata supposedly wasn’t allowed to tell her even the gender of the baby. Whenever she passed by the bar in the Center headquarters, she sighed, disappointed that she was to abstain from drink for so long.

After the final change in her schedule, Hiroko was relieved of her patrolling duties and was practically confined to only her own room. Her whole body ached under the weight she carried and her bones felt brittle. She felt as though the baby had taken every bit of energy she had. On the walk to Mekata and Hanada’s lab for her final examination, a hollow feeling crept up on her as she passed her fellow Messians. Over the months, they always congratulated her and thanked her for her hard work but something about them felt disingenuous, as if they harbored a disdain for an unmarried woman who carried a baby. Though it was by order of the Bishop, she couldn’t help but wonder if they, too, questioned the will of God. She silently asked God why it had to be her.

The lab never became much more inviting. Hiroko had grown more comfortable with Mekata, but the hostile metal walls and sterile smell only kept her on edge. She still hadn’t shaken the familiar feeling she got from Mekata, either.

Mekata broke the silence, “How are you feeling this time?”

“My whole body hurts,” Hiroko said.

“I don’t doubt it. Be sure to rest as much as you can,” Mekata said, “You’re in the homestretch now,” He explained to her all that she would need to do the day she goes into labor. “And by the way,” he added, “You’ll be in the infirmary with the Center doctors, so Hanada and I won’t be handling your labor,”

She was relieved that she wouldn’t be risking humiliating herself in front of someone who knew her so well, but she was disappointed that she wouldn’t have the presence of someone she was comfortable with. She glanced at Hanada, who seemed too entranced in other work to pay her much mind. He always seemed far more interested in other work, which Hiroko wasn’t quite sure was actually part of the project.

Mekata sent Hiroko on her way rather quickly as he still had quite a bit of work to do for the project. He, of course, wouldn’t tell her what that meant, only saying that there was more to the project than the baby she carried which needed to be finished as soon as possible, ideally before the baby is born. Hanada certainly had no protests in Hiroko’s early departure, only leaving her with a “Begone, woman! We have too much to do!” as she left. The look Mekata gave Hanada made Hiroko wonder just how well the two got along.

On a cold night not long after the first day of winter, Hiroko laid in the stiff infirmary bed, waves of excruciating pain washing through her body. The day the parasite was to burst from her body had finally come. None of Mekata’s warning could have prepared her for the pain she now felt. It was far worse than any injury she had ever sustained from a demon. She began to beg for something to numb the pain. The doctor, with a cold gaze, denied her pleas claiming that it was God’s will for a Messian woman to feel the pain of childbirth as a rite of passage to motherhood, and as punishment for the original sin. In that moment, Hiroko questioned to herself why God was revered as so benevolent when He tortured women so.

The baby’s shrieks drowned out Hiroko’s own sobs. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She held her arms up in her daze waiting for the doctor to hand the baby to her. Through her blurred vision, she watched the doctor wrap the baby up and turn to leave the infirmary. She had only caught a glimpse of the baby, so fragile and innocent.

Hiroko gasped and nearly flew out of the bed as she sat up with her arms outstretched, “Wait! Don’t take my- ugh!” As if prepared for this moment, the nurses all pinned her back down to the bed. She thrashed under their hands as she grew more hysterical. Her heart raced at the thought of losing the baby she worked so hard to protect. One of the nurses lowered a mask over Hiroko’s face and as she began to slip under the anesthesia, she watched the doctor disappear behind the infirmary door.

Hiroko was inconsolable for the two days of recovery she was afforded by the Bishop. She had to be dragged back to her own room by a Temple Knight, paraded through the Center headquarters as she sobbed for someone to bring the baby to her, or for Mekata to advocate for her as he had before. The residents of the Center headquarters didn’t dare watch Hiroko directly, only discussing her state in hushed whispers among themselves outside of her presence. Even when she was to return to her work, her fellow Temple Knights and other residents looked upon her as if they took no issue with her recent outburst. Some offered her empty words of consolation, saying that God’s will would bring everything to its rightful place. Hiroko found herself praying every night for the baby’s safety.

During a patrol through the Center headquarters, Hiroko caught a glimpse of Mekata, who she hadn’t seen since her last physical, turning a corner at the end of the hall. Without hardly another thought, Hiroko sprinted down the hall, chasing Mekata down. She slipped through a doorway without the passcode just shortly after he had entered. He turned around as she grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Mekata!” she said, not even giving herself time to catch her breath, “They took the baby from me!”

Mekata’s expression turned gentle, “I know. He’s in our care, he’s safe,”

So the baby was a boy. Tears welled up in Hiroko’s eyes, “Where is he!?”

“I… can’t give you that information,” he said.

Hiroko grabbed Mekata by the lapel of his suit with trembling hands, “Let me see him! Just once!”

He pulled her into a hug as she began to sob. She clung to him with her whole body quivering. He stood in solemn silence for some time before he gently held her face in his hands, wiping her tears away with his thumbs, “You should not be here. This area is restricted to only myself and Hanada. I know you want to see the baby. Right now, I can’t let you see him. Meet me back here a week from today in the morning, that’s the soonest I can let you see him. We have… much to discuss,” He gave Hiroko the passcode to the hallway door. He made her remember it as the code was highly confidential and writing it somewhere to carry on her person would have grave consequences if she were to be caught. The last thing he said to her was, “I promise he’s safe. Please trust me,”

Hiroko was wholly uninterested in fulfilling her duties as she waited for the week to pass. She avoided showing attitude to the Bishop and letting her fellow Temple Knights know her true feelings, but she wished the day could come sooner. The pit in her heart grew the longer she was away from the baby. She found that it took great effort just to get out of bed in the morning. She was often late to work, and her uniform was always in some kind of disarray. She struggled to remember some of her assignments and wondered if she should have Mekata check her out when they met again. The Bishop was also at his wit’s end with Hiroko, demanding she get her act together before he assigned her to work in the Factory sector. Late at night, she questioned what God had planned for the baby and if He truly wished for this, or if the Bishop and Center Elders were acting out of line. Her anxiety was becoming overwhelming. Hiroko could no longer use her own body to protect the baby. She trusted Mekata to keep the baby safe, but she had grown suspicious of the Bishop and worried that the project would only bring harm to him. The possibilities swirled through her head every time she tried to sleep and her tears could not fill the emptiness in her chest. It felt as though the baby had taken a piece of her with him when he was born.

As she bided her time with work in the Center, she happened to see two Temple Knights, a man and a woman both on separate occasions, who she had never seen before. They must have been new recruits. The man was tall and muscular with his hair shaved on the sides. He wore a sarashi under the vest of his uniform, and had a stern expression on his face. The woman was about Hiroko’s height and wore a bandana around her long, dark hair. Like most of the other Temple Knights, she wore a cape bearing the Messian cross. Her resting expression was gentle. Neither of them ever introduced themselves, and Hiroko never got the chance to introduce herself.

When the day finally came for Hiroko to meet with Mekata, she hauled herself up to the floor of Mekata and Hanada’s lab. While in the elevator, she heard a deafening bang that shook the entire headquarters. She sprinted through the halls as soon as the elevator doors opened. She weaved through the people evacuating and could hear other Temple Knights shouting behind her. The door to the hallway where she was meant to meet Mekata was open and a plume of smoke crawled across the ceiling. The lab had exploded and Mekata was nowhere to be seen. Hanada, too, was absent. All of the equipment was destroyed and one of the walls had completely come down. The room next to Mekata and Hanada’s lab was another, different lab. This one contained a large tank, now broken and its liquid contents spilled across the floor. Hiroko searched through the rubble of both labs for any trace of Mekata or the baby. She sank to the floor and sobbed when she found nothing.

Days later, Hiroko was summoned before the Bishop.

“I’m tasking you with searching for a… little boy who’s gone missing since the recent incident. I suspect he got lost in the commotion during the evacuation. He is very important to the future of the Center- no, the future of Tokyo Millennium, so it is imperative that you find him. But remember, you are not to leave the Center borders,” the Bishop said.

Hiroko furrowed her eyebrows, “What!? But what if he’s gone as far as Valhalla!?”

“Then we will send a special force there to retrieve him. If that is the case, then only learn of his whereabouts and report back,” the Bishop said before Hiroko was sent away.

Winter was harsh and unforgiving, claiming just as many lives as demon attacks. Hiroko spent until the end of spring searching for the boy. She went as far as the Center borders would allow her, as close to nearly leaving as she could. She had no idea who the boy was, the Bishop never told her, but she imagined the pain his parents felt was the same she felt for the baby she carried that she had grown so fond of.

Her worry grew to terror as the months passed. She found herself praying that the boy was safe and would be found soon, and that she would get to see the baby soon. She asked around and eventually was told by someone in the bar of the Center headquarters that the incident had been orchestrated by Mekata and Hanada. Hiroko came to the conclusion that they must have taken the boy with them, and perhaps they had the baby as well. The person at the bar also told her that Hanada was last seen in the Valhalla sector, rumored to be hiding in Madam’s mansion. Hiroko decided in that moment that she would make her way to Valhalla immediately. Though she understood that she was forbidden from leaving the Center borders, she also understood the consequences that would come with abandoning her post. Perhaps if she found the boy, the Bishop would spare her punishment.

In Valhalla, Hiroko thought over the ways that she could get into Madam’s mansion. She could beg the butler to let her in to speak with Madam, or she could break the front door down and demand Madam tells her where Hanada is. As she stood around considering her options, it was almost as if by a strike of divine luck that she looked up to see the TV tower broadcasting Valhalla’s Colosseum. The announcer was crowning the newest champion: a gentle-looking young man with long black hair. Hiroko felt her chest tighten. Madam kept high security at her mansion, but she had a habit of inviting over the champion when a new one was determined. They were often allowed to bring one guest. Hiroko hoped that the new champion would have the heart to take her to Madam’s mansion, and maybe even help her find Hanada and the lost boy. The announcer had said that the new champion hailed from Okamoto’s gym.

I was never told why I was never allowed around boys, only threatened with punishment if I ever spoke to a boy or ever went out on my own. On some days, my parents would go out and I would stay home when I was old enough to do so, watching the outside world from my bedroom window. I knew that there was always at least one tita keeping an eye on me from her own home, so I never dared to go out while my parents were away. From a young age, I found myself longing to venture out on my own. I longed for many years, even into my teenage years. Then, I began to long to become friends with boys my age. I only wished for more friends, as the ones I had were few in number and while I loved them so, I still wished for more. The guilt ate me alive as I worried that it meant that I did not love my friends, but on rare days that I did get to see them, a wave of comfort washed over me, even if I was still tethered to my mother. I was relieved to know that they, too, loved me and told me stories of their brothers and boyfriends, but it sometimes only made me wish that I could be like them. 

In my teenage years, my mother still held my wrist in the market, and stood between me and another man if he ever came too close. Even when I asked her to let go, just for a little bit, because it was so hot out, she refused. I found more comfort in seeing boys from afar, however, as my friends spared no horror story when they told me about the boys they knew. Many of them were good men, but some of them were vile and evil, and my friends told me that I wasn’t missing much by not talking to them. I wondered if they only said that to make me feel less left out. My friends would tell me that I was the envy of other girls in our classes, and that if I were to be permitted to speak with any boys, I would have no shortage of them chasing me because I was pretty and always smelled nice. They said I smelled so nice that they wished they could wear me as a perfume. I found it embarrassing and never quite knew how to react because I felt that they only said such things to make it seem like it was better that I wasn’t allowed to talk to boys, but my friends always reassured me that their words came from their hearts. Whenever I saw a boy my age, the fear from the little girl inside me jumped out, and I let my mother take over the situation. I always found myself afterwards wishing that I had taken things into my own hands instead. I often recited in my head how I would politely turn a boy away from conversation on my own, but always hid behind my mother instead when given the perfect opportunity. She seemed to prefer that I kept quiet, anyway. Sometimes, I fantasized about befriending a nice boy who would treat me well.

The more I was kept at home, the more I wished to go out on my own. I watched the world from my window while my parents were out of the house, having gone shopping together. I wished that I could have at least spent the time with my friends, but my parents never allowed it as they worried that my friends would bring a boy into my presence. My friends’ parents knew of this, and did not allow my friends to see me if my parents weren’t home. My parents took a long time in their outing, having not returned even by the evening. Though deep down I worried for their safety, I couldn’t help but feel relieved in having a few extra hours of alone time. I began to wonder if anyone would see me leave after the sun had disappeared. 

I left the light on in my room, working quickly and carefully. I wore my favorite yellow dress as it was one that my friends all said they loved, and a bracelet that my mother had given to me when I was young. I left quietly from the back door, avoiding stepping into any lights and hoping nobody would happen to see me from their windows. I prayed that Mayari would not tattle on me as she watched over us all in the night. Then, I escaped into the darkness for what I told myself would just be a short stroll. 

The humidity stuck to my body in a way that the breeze could not whisk away. The world was lit by only the gentle moonlight. I was relieved to walk down empty streets, as I no longer had to worry about running into my parents. I took in the sights of buildings that I always saw while out with my mother. My wrist felt cool in the night air. Though I was still anxious of being caught, I savored this freedom no matter how brief it may be. The lights twinkled beautifully just as the stars did, and the creatures sang in a lovely midnight symphony. I took deep breaths to calm my mind as I walked. 

I admired every tree and every flower I came upon. As I admired one such flower, I heard someone behind me. I worried that it was my parents as I turned around, but it was some man who I didn’t recognize. For a brief moment, I thought he could be the man of my fantasies. He looked to be a fair bit older than me. He was very pale and was dressed a bit differently from other people I had seen before; he seemed to be a foreigner. I suddenly felt nervous, wishing that my mother were holding my wrist and standing between us. He had a thick accent and I could hardly understand him. The only word I could understand him saying was “maganda”. When he reached his hand out, I stepped back. I heard my mother’s words in my head as I recounted every time she reminded me not to let a man touch me. It seemed that the man was trying to tell me that I was beautiful. I tried to politely turn him away as I had practiced to myself so many times, but he didn’t seem to understand. I stepped back every time he stepped towards me until I found myself running away in a panic. As he pursued me, he continued to reach his hand out for me. I ran as fast I could into the dense trees, hoping that he would soon give up. I worried that I may lose my way home, but decided it would be best to handle that when the time came. I made random turns hoping to eventually lose him, but he still followed me when I looked back. My eyes burned as tears welled up and my heart raced faster than my legs. I continued to run through the exhaustion, but just as my legs grew tired, he grabbed my wrist.

Leaves scattered in the gentle breeze and rustled under Yurika’s steps as he hiked his way through dense woods. He stuck to the sidewalk as he watched a few cars pass by on his left. He took a long drag of the last bit of the joint between his fingers before dropping it and tamping it out against the concrete. As he exhaled, Yurika could see the sunset turning red behind the smoke. Another breeze floated through the trees, and he could feel a light drizzle of rain falling into his hair. The water quietly splattered against the ground and the trees continued to sway in the wind. 

Yurika began to approach a short hill, the highway bridge that ran through the woods and perpendicular to the road just barely becoming visible at the top. A thin veil of swirling fog rolled in around him, The trees quietened down. The rain fell without a sound. As Yurika made his way up the incline, there was a crunch and a squelch under his shoe; a bird, having been mangled and flattened by presumably a car before Yurika stamped it harder into the sidewalk. He wiped off anything stuck to his shoe onto the ground, careful to avoid the remaining guts that spilled out. 

Further up the hill were more animals. A squirrel, a rabbit, a possum, another possum, a dog, a fox and her single baby, a coyote, and a wolf. In the absolute silence, the rain started to fall harder, making red streaks run down the concrete. Even Yurika’s racing heart sounded a long distance away, but it felt like someone was banging on the inside of his chest to be let out. 

At the top of the hill was the body of a bear. Just behind the bear was some kind of chimera made of the body and front legs of a lion, and the head and back legs of a deer, with long branches of antlers that had leaves and twigs tangled in them. It faced the road and blocked the path of the sidewalk, laying like a sphinx except with its hind legs sticking out. Its ribcage and part of its stomach were exposed by rotting flesh. Its face, too, was rotted; its skull down to its neck were visible. Its muscles twitched and contracted as it turned its head to face Yurika, revealing the perfectly intact right side of its face. Yurika had stopped in front of the bear, and the only car to pass in a long time seemed to pay no mind to neither the chimera, nor Yurika. The cars on the overpass behind the chimera did not stop for this, either. The chimera began to open its mouth, then closed it, and turned its head back to face the road again. Yurika looked towards the other side of the road. At the edge of the woods, next to the overpass, was a deer looking in Yurika’s direction. Just as Yurika crossed over to the sidewalk on the other side, it scampered away.

The highway Yurika drove down ran through a thick forest. The last light of dusk started to die out as he drove over the empty bridge. His car trembled on the rocky asphalt, as if he were suddenly driving on gravel. Minding his speed, Yurika pressed his foot against the brake. His car gave no response. He stepped on the brake harder, but his car still gave him nothing. Even spinning the steering wheel changed nothing. Before he could react, Yurika could see the highway in the distance end like the edge of a cliff. His heart dropped and his body tensed as he braced for the fall that never came. Instead, his car stopped right over the edge, the front end hanging off of the drop so delicately that Yurika worried that any kind of movement would send his car plummeting.

“Did you hear about that thing from a couple weeks ago about that guy they found dead, and they found a bunch of flowers in his lungs and shit?” one voice said.

“Yeah! Did they figure out what it was? Did the guy just snort a bunch of flower seeds or something?” then they both laughed.

“No, I don’t know. They started finding more people like that, but they haven’t figured out why there’s flowers in everyone’s lungs. The worst case they saw was someone with flowers coming out of their mouth, and more trying to come out from their nose. There’s like, four or five more people now, and they’re all from here. There’s no international cases so far,”

“Y’think it’ll–”

Yurika turned off the podcast. He heard the front door of the apartment open and close. He quickly finished his writing and tore the page out of the notebook. He could hear the heavy footsteps of his roommate in the living room. He put the page into a little wooden box, and shoved that box into a drawer in his desk. He could hear the footsteps of his roommate in the hallway. Yurika jumped up and met his roommate halfway, just before his roommate came up to his bedroom door.

“Hey Yuri, I’m back!” his roommate said. He had a backpack slung around one shoulder. He was quite cute, and had a charming smile. He dropped his backpack and pulled Yurika into a tight hug. He was known by everyone for being rather touchy. Yurika shyly hugged him back and gently leaned his face into his roommate’s shoulder. His roommate smelled like the outdoors, but Yurika caught a faint scent of cologne, too.

“God, you and that stupid nickname! Quit calling me that!”

“You miss me?” his roommate asked.

“I had some quiet for once,” Yurika said. His roommate laughed and squeezed Yurika tighter. Then, he stuck his hand into Yurika’s silky hair and ruffled it up.

“Oh yeah, check out what I found on the way back,” his roommate cleared his throat and held up four red spider lilies. Their petals all curled outwards in full bloom, and they were a romantic shade of red. Their stems looked like they were hastily pulled from the ground.

“Did you steal these from someone’s garden in front of the complex?” Yurika asked, taking the little bouquet from his roommate.

“No! I saw them outside one of the campus buildings when I left class,” his roommate said defensively.

“So you vandalized college property,”

“No! They weren’t in one of those flower beds they have next to the buildings, they were just in the middle of a patch of grass on their own. I don’t know how they got there, they weren’t there a couple weeks ago. I didn’t take all of them, there’s still some left there so nobody will notice,”

Yurika inspected the stems of each flower, “You can tell me the truth, Kairos,”

“I am telling the truth,”

Yurika laughed and said, “What’d you take these for, anyway?”

“For you, I thought they looked neat and thought you might like them,”

“If the school starts looking for who pulled up their new flowers, I’m ratting you out,” Yurika said.

“Snitches get stitches!” Kairos said and squeezed Yurika’s sides. Yurika laughed as Kairos took the flowers back.

“Let’s put ‘em in a vase,” Kairos said.

“You think I have a vase?” Yurika said as they entered the kitchen. Kairos started rummaging through the cabinets. He stuck his hand far back and pulled out a tall plastic water bottle with a missing lid. He filled it with water and dropped the flowers into the bottle. Satisfied with himself, he smiled and put the bottle on the dining table. Then, he turned away and started coughing.

“Whose is that? I didn’t even know we had that. You okay?” Yurika asked.

Kairos cleared his throat and said, “I don’t know, I just saw it in the back of the cabinet. And yeah, I think so,” Kairos had been suddenly plagued by a cough over the past few weeks, though he didn’t know where it came from. He just figured it was allergies, or maybe he caught a cold from his last date. Yurika eventually started telling him to get it checked out, but Kairos was sure it would go away soon. Coughing fits became more frequent for Kairos over time. He still hadn’t seen anyone about it.

“I told you to see someone about that. Has it gotten any better?” Yurika asked.

“No, I don’t think so, anyway. It feels like there’s something stuck in my lungs that I can’t get out,” Kairos turned away and coughed again.

Yurika poured him a glass of water. Kairos downed half of it and said, “Thanks, you going hunting tonight?”

The world began to fall to ruin when a colossal sinkhole opened on a small Elysian island during one of the country’s most turbulent political years. Demons poured out from the sinkhole and invaded Elysia, even overwhelming the military involvement. The island only had one resident: The Director, who was only ever referred to as such, of Elysia Medical Research Center. The sinkhole opened directly beneath his home, yet he survived miraculously and returned to the surface without the need of a rescue party. When asked, he always declined to describe his experience in the sinkhole or explain how he managed to return. Though the threat of demons never ceased, military resources grew exhausted. In an attempt to give Elysians a chance at their own survival, The Director developed a device with a program that allowed users to harness the power of demons by partnering with them through negotiation and storing them in the device to be summoned at will. He also founded an unofficial association of hunters independent from the military to cull demons and protect Elysia. Hunters were discouraged from speaking of it freely and The Director never acknowledged it publicly, allowing people to come to their own conclusions about where these hunters suddenly cropped up from. Out of fear of global retaliation from learning the source of the demons overrunning the world, Elysia was forced to close its borders for travel and import processes became more difficult and secretive. The Elysian government gave no statement on the matter other than announcing that the country was struggling against the demons but was unable to accept external aid. Afterwards, they went silent, even to their own citizens. The country was forced to continue as it had before as much as possible, even as it crumbled under the weight of the demons.

“Yeah, you going out tonight?” Yurika asked. They now stood on opposite sides of the kitchen while Yurika leaned against one of the counters, and Kairos took a seat in one of the dining table chairs.

“No,” Kairos said.

“No hookups or anything?” Kairos loved to sleep around, unbound by commitment. It seemed like he had someone new every few weeks. Yurika was sure Kairos would eventually sleep with everyone on their college campus. “What happened to that girl you were seeing for a while?” Yurika asked.

“We stopped hooking up. She said she was starting to want a relationship, but I turned her down ‘cause I wasn’t interested. She was real upset about it,” Kairos said.

“Still not looking for a relationship?”

“...No. I just want someone else,”

“Who?”

Kairos went quiet and shifted in his seat. He took an awkward sip of water and gazed towards the floor, “Well, um…”

Yurika started smiling, “What? Why so nervous? Did you already have to defend yourself to your friends?” He reveled in Kairos’ embarrassment. He had never seen Kairos so nervous; he was practically squirming in his seat. There was something alluring about Kairos’ flushed face under the low glow of the light in the kitchen.

“No, I just- I haven’t- uh… I haven’t told anyone about it,” Kairos shifted in his seat more. He sat up more properly, more stiffly.

“Then I’ll be the first one you tell, spit it out already!”

Kairos furrowed his eyebrows and made a sour face. He glanced at his glass on the table, still holding it at the base. The silence between them was only filled by the sound of the air conditioner.

“… I think I’m in love with you, Yurika,”

Yurika’s smile faded. He put more of his weight onto the countertop. The room started to feel hot, but Yurika was freezing and the world blurred around him. He could hear the whirring of the air conditioner grow louder.

“I thought you didn’t like relationships. I thought you had commitment issues,”

“I’m willing to work on it if it’s for you,” Kairos said.

Yurika almost started laughing. He thought it was a joke! He knew Kairos as the kind of guy who was always messing around. He always made stupid jokes that would make Yurika laugh. He was far past the age of confessing to someone as a joke, but maybe this was the kind of joke where Kairos had a lapse in judgement. Yurika stopped himself when he saw Kairos frowning, eyebrows furrowed.

"Why me?" Yurika asked.

Kairos cleared his throat again, "What kind of question is that?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm just surprised. Are you sure you're not just being horny?"

"Yeah,"

"Is that why you haven't been going out as much lately?"

"...Yeah,"

A few months prior, Yurika had noticed Kairos going on fewer dates. He never asked about it. He just thought Kairos was starting to mellow out, or maybe that he was running out of people to sleep with. But he thought that for someone like Kairos, it was impossible to run out of people to sleep with. He had this charm about him that made even Yurika's heart race. Yurika always felt his face heating up whenever Kairos hugged him. He wasn't one for being touched, but he found himself looking forward to Kairos' hugs. When he'd come home late from a night of hunting, Kairos was always waiting for him in the living room to give him a hug. It didn't matter how bloody and disheveled Yurika was, Kairos always let Yurika fall into his arms anyway.

Relationships never usually lasted very long for Yurika. His partners would tell him he was too closed off or not affectionate enough. Some of them even admitted that they only wanted to sleep with him because he was pretty. He didn’t much like being called pretty because the priest at his childhood church always called him that. Yurika never told any of his past partners the true nature of his job. Thankfully, those relationships never lasted long enough for them to live together, so Yurika never had to explain why he came home late and covered in blood so often.

Kairos turned away and started coughing again. Yurika said nothing as Kairos drank the rest of his water. Kairos took a deep breath and set the glass down.

"I don't think I should be in a relationship," Yurika said.

"We don't have to jump right into it, we can take it slow," Kairos said.

"I don’t want you to get too close,” Yurika said.

“I won’t get involved with your hunting,”

“It’s not that. I… don’t know. I guess I just don’t get it. I mean, really, why is it me?”

“Because I like your company. You’re funny and you’re one of the smartest guys out of all of our friends. I don’t really have more of an answer than that, I’m just happy to be around you. I wouldn’t have suggested we try to get an apartment together if I didn’t,”

“I… just don’t think I deserve it. I don’t think it’s worth it,” Yurika swore he could hear Kairos’ breathing through the silence, even from across the kitchen.

“Why not?” Kairos stood from his seat and came closer to Yurika. He reached for Yurika’s arm to pull him into a hug, but Yurika took a few steps back. Kairos looked like a dejected dog.

“I just think you should be giving your love to someone else,” Yurika said.

“I can’t. You’re the only one I want to give it to,” Kairos said. “You’re just as deserving of it as anyone else,” He spoke in a gentle voice. He started to reach for Yurika’s arm again, but Yurika pulled himself away. Kairos took a deeper breath.

“I’m sorry… I don’t think I can let you love me,” Yurika said. “I think I’m gonna head out now, it’s getting late,” Yurika left the kitchen to gather his hunting supplies. Kairos stayed back, hunched over the countertop with his head in his arms.

When Yurika left the apartment, he could hear Kairos having another coughing fit in the bathroom just before he shut the front door.

Covered in sweat and dirt, Yurika walked through an empty back alley. The summer heat made his whole body feel sticky, and the humidity felt like wading through a pool. Rats and other critters scurried away to hide among the trash when they heard his boots against the pavement. He hadn’t heard from Kairos since he left hours ago. Exhausted, Yurika leaned against the wall of one of the buildings. He spit out a glob of blood before tilting his head back and closing his eyes. Whether that blood were his own or a demon’s, he wouldn’t know. Yurika sighed, thinking of his conversation with Kairos. He started imagining what might have happened if he had accepted Kairos’ confession.

“What’s a cutie like you doing here?” When Yurika opened his eyes, a lady stood across from him in the alleyway, under the soft orange glow of a neon sign. She was pretty, and couldn’t have been much older than Yurika. She dropped her cigarette and came closer to Yurika.

“You look lonely… I could fix that,” she said as she draped her arms over Yurika’s shoulders. Her face was so close to Yurika’s that their noses were almost touching. When Yurika straightened his back against the wall, she moved to close the distance between them. His whole body went tense.

“You have pretty eyes. Green is my favorite color,” she said with a smile. Then, she pressed her nose against his shoulder and said, “You smell nice, too. Reminds me of a guy I met a couple weeks ago,”

Yurika did not respond.

The woman looked into Yurika’s eyes again. Her gold eyes stood out in the dark. Yurika’s face was only lit up by the sign above them on the wall. The woman started pinning Yurika to the wall with her body. He tensed up more, trying to keep himself from trembling. She put a hand on Yurika’s cheek.

“You’re so quiet, are you nervous? I’ll be gentle with you,” she said. She started twirling Yurika’s hair around her finger.

Yurika jabbed his gun into her torso, “Don’t touch me,”

The woman looked down at the device on Yurika’s forearm.

“You’re one of those demon hunters, aren’t you?” she asked.

“I said don’t touch me,” Yurika said.

She dropped her hands and stepped back. She huffed, rolled her eyes and said, “You guys are such a pain, always on your guard. My type may be blonde, but I still care about personality. I won’t do anything to you, but next time we meet, maybe you’ll have learned how to loosen up,” She turned on her heel and walked away.

When she disappeared deeper into the alleyway, Yurika collapsed to the ground on his hands and knees. He hyperventilated, shuddering as the sensation of the woman’s touch still lingered on his body. His throat started to burn until he finally expelled everything from his stomach. His vomit splattered onto the concrete. He coughed as more came out, dripping down his face and spilling onto his hands. He felt a deep disgust within his body. His skin felt like someone had crawled into it without asking, and he resisted the urge to tear them out. Even his clothes now felt like someone was touching him all over his body. Yurika sat up and wiped his hands and mouth on the sleeve of his jacket. He needed to throw it into the wash when he got home, anyway. Yurika lost track of time as he sat against the wall collecting his thoughts, and before he knew it, the sun started breaking over the horizon.

The apartment was silent when Yurika returned home. It was still early, and Kairos had a habit of sleeping in as late as he could get away with. Yurika saw the flowers still on the kitchen table as he made his way to his bedroom. He stripped himself of his vomit and blood soaked clothes. He changed into something cleaner. The bathroom light was on further down the hallway. Yurika now looked forward to the month’s electricity bill. He stepped to the bathroom as quietly as he could. The door was halfway open. Yurika peeked around the doorframe. He gently pushed the door open. Kairos was laying on the floor curled up on his side. Yurika threw his clothes to the side and knelt down next to Kairos. When he turned Kairos’ face, there were red spider lilies sprouting out of Kairos’ mouth. There were so many that Kairos wouldn’t have been able to close his mouth if he wanted to. Their thin stems were stained with blood and mucus. The petals were a romantic shade of red, curled out in full bloom. Yurika could see the buds of more flowers trying to sprout from inside Kairos’ nose; some had already started to bloom. Though the roots were thin, they managed to burrow their way through Kairos’ skin and were poking out of his cheeks. Kairos was stone cold. Yurika stared at Kairos in silence. Kairos’ eyes were wide, face twisted in shock. There was dried blood down his neck and some on the floor.

When Yurika finally returned to reality, he called for the police and an ambulance. He was the calmest he had been all day. The police arrived first, and Yurika told them everything that happened when he came home. Though, he was nervous to tell them the truth about the conversation he had with Kairos before he went hunting, so he just told them that they had seen each other before he went out for the night. Yurika told the same story when the EMTs arrived. They said they had been getting more calls involving similar situations, but nobody seemed to know the cause or the source of the flowers.

“I noticed a lot of the flowers were different between cases. I’ve seen a couple of cases with the same flowers, but for the most part, they’re all different. I don’t know if it means anything,” one of the EMTs said.

Kairos’ body was taken to Elysia Medical Research Center. After the police and EMTs left, Yurika stood in the shower to rinse away the blood of the demons he slayed the night before. He leaned against the shower wall and let the water run down his hair and body. Yurika thought of the flowers protruding from Kairos’ mouth, and the look of pain on his face as he lay on the floor. He wondered how long Kairos had been laying there. He started thinking of the woman he met in the alleyway; the way she spoke to him, the way she touched him, the way she looked straight into his eyes and called them pretty, the way she stuck her nose into his shirt and complimented how he smelled. He imagined Kairos in her place.

“You have pretty eyes, Yuri. Green is my favorite color,”

“You smell nice, too,”

“Are you nervous? I’ll be gentle,”

Kairos was always gentle. Yurika thought of all of the times the two had slept together. He suffered from frequent nightmares and Kairos always let Yurika climb into his bed, no matter the hour. Some nights, Yurika slept in Kairos’ bed even if he didn’t have any nightmares. Kairos was the only person Yurika could think of who took such good care of him. Yurika never left Kairos’ bed with so much as a scratch on his body. Yurika could hear Kairos’ voice in his head as he thought of the way Kairos would speak to him so softly.

“Are you okay?”

“How does that feel?”

“We don’t have to go any further,”

When the clouds dispersed from Yurika’s mind, the water had run cold and his hand was sticky. A sinking feeling grew in his stomach. It felt as though there were a dirtiness on his body that he couldn’t scrub away. When he saw himself in the mirror, the glass cracked.

Before noon, Yurika had called Kairos’ mother to break the news to her. She lived in Kairos’ hometown several hours away. She must have broken every traffic law to get there, as she met Yurika at Elysia Medical Research Center three and a half hours later.

Yurika had already been there waiting for any news on Kairos’ state; perhaps he wasn’t dead. Instead, he was told that Kairos’ case was one of the worst they had seen so far. The roots of the flowers filled Kairos’ lungs so much that they had ruptured. They were tangled around his ribcage, and some burrowed through his skin and were poking out of his chest. Apparently, Kairos was only the second case to have spider lilies so far. The first case was also the worst Elysia Medical Research Center had seen. It was suspected that spider lilies were a particularly aggressive variant. He was pronounced dead before Yurika even made it to the hospital.

When Kairos’ mother arrived, she was told the same things. For someone who had just lost her only child, she was surprisingly sane. Perhaps she was waiting to lose it in private. She promptly stopped the doctor as they began to go into the more grotesque details of Kairos’ condition.

“I don’t want that to be the last thing I hear about my son,”

She claimed Kairos' body and told Yurika that she would handle Kairos' funeral. Since she drove to the hospital in such a rush, she didn't have any way of bringing Kairos' belongings home with her that day, so she said she would come back at a later time. She briefly spoke to Yurika alone before they parted ways.

"You look exhausted. Are you still working late at night? Have you slept yet?"

"Yeah, I still work nights. I haven't gotten to sleep yet," Yurika said.

"Oh my God! I know it might be hard, but you really should get some rest. I'm sorry you had to be the one to find him," she said. She held her arms out to hug him as she would Kairos, but Yurika shrank away.

The last thing she said to Yurika was, "You can call me if you need anything, okay?"

Kairos was buried in his hometown several hours away. Far too great of a distance for Yurika to attend the funeral. He could do some hunting there, but it wasn't worth staying for just one night. Kairos' mother was understanding, she didn't expect Yurika to attend and didn't blame him for not being able to. She checked on him every few weeks, just as she would with Kairos. Her messages never received a response, and they eventually stopped coming. Over time, Yurika buried himself in work. He took more dangerous commissions; they paid well enough for him to live without a roommate. He took them at such a rate that even the Director himself suggested to Yurika that he take a break. Yurika didn’t mind much, it was just something to occupy his free time. He managed to find a good balance between college work and hunting. Kairos and Yurika did not see each other at graduation.

On nights Yurika wasn’t hunting, he lay awake under the blanket he stole from Kairos’ bed before his mother came to sort through his belongings. She had said it was “so like Kairos” to sleep with nothing but sheets. Yurika, plagued by his chronic nightmares, often buried his face into the blanket in hopes of falling asleep sooner. It rarely worked. He often thought of the woman he met in the alleyway. He wondered if he should have just pulled the trigger. On the few nights that he did manage to sleep, Yurika would awaken to find himself in Kairos’ old bed, wrapped in the stolen blanket the two once shared.

The water bottle with the flowers for Yurika were moved to the kitchen counter, tucked away in a corner. The stems drooped with a sad posture. The petals, now a decayed brown, fell off one by one, leaving a little pile of dried up petals and leaves. The water had long been dried up since Kairos’ funeral. More things piled up on the counter, leaving the bottle hidden in the corner. By the time Yurika found them again, they were shriveled and rotted.

Several birthdays had passed since Kairos’ death. The strange disease only spread and grew deadlier. More aggressive variants developed, but the spider lily variant was still the most rare and aggressive. Cases were found worldwide. Even with every medical institution dedicating what little resources they could to the research of the disease, there were very few results. Elysia Medical Research Center contributed minimally. None could uncover the cause or source of the disease, nor did anyone discover a cure. It had a one hundred percent mortality rate. The Director theorized that the disease came from the world of demons, but he kept that theory private. Though the first case of the disease was initially discovered in Elysia, it later became known colloquially as hanahaki, popularized by Japan.

Yurika sat at his desk by his bedroom window. He opened one of the drawers to find the little box he had squirreled away so long ago. He hadn’t seen that box since he put it away. He pulled it out of the drawer and set it on top of his desk. He took the box with him as he got up to slip on a coat from his closet. It was still early morning, he could likely make the trip by the late afternoon. Yurika shook away his sleepiness before setting off on the long drive.