#smtii

Hiroko crossed her arms and leaned on one hip, “Why does it have to be me?”

“Because the project requires a strong woman, and the Elders and I decided that you would fulfill the role,” the Bishop said.

Hiroko shifted her weight to her other hip, “How long do I have to decide on this?”

“This is an order, not a request. The egg has already been modified and the project will get underway shortly, before you begin your usual duties,” the Bishop’s voice was stern, as if she were expected to agree without question.

“You’ll be well taken care of,” Mekata said. Hiroko felt a vague sense of familiarity whenever she looked at him, as if she had known him in a past life.

“Is this really okay? I’m not even married,” she said.

“It is God’s will,” was all the Bishop said as Hiroko was escorted away, to a lab where she was implanted with an egg taken from an unknown donor. She was to carry the baby to term, and was given strict dietary restrictions, as well as a rigid daily routine that would be adjusted over the course of her pregnancy. Within the first month, she was only given tasks that were in or near the Center headquarters.

Hiroko sat at the edge of her bed with her head in her hands, trying to stave off the growing sickness. Discomfort ate at her whole body and it felt as if there was a parasite inside her. She could only anticipate the long nine months before the parasite would rip its way out of her body. She took a deep breath and looked over the schedule she was given. On this particular day, she was scheduled to have her first medical assessment with Mekata and Hanada. Her assessments were to be monthly and had been set up in advance, which she thought was excessive. Her dread grew at the thought of having to let two older men examine her body and wellbeing, as they were the only two working on the project.

The lab was cold and unwelcoming, the bright lights and sterile smell only worsening her sickness. She sat on the operating bed, dizzy and fatigued. Hanada had his back turned to her, looking at a computer with her medical records pulled up. Mekata approached her to take her blood pressure. Seeing him closer, he had faint strands of fading blonde in his graying hair, fleeting like cherry blossoms in spring. Behind the stern expression on his face, Hiroko felt a deep sadness within his eyes.

He let go of her arm, “How have you been feeling?”

“Sick,” Hiroko said.

“That’s only natural,” he said, “It should disappear in a few months, but let us know if it doesn’t,” Hiroko closed her eyes as Mekata stepped away to write something down. She felt him wipe her arm down when he returned, then the sharp prick of a needle into her forearm.

“Don’t tense up,” he said just as her muscles began to tighten. He handled her with the gentleness of a father tending his child’s wound.

Hiroko kept her eyes shut, “Do you have to take blood?”

“I’m following the protocol ordered by the Bishop,” Mekata said flatly. Hiroko kept her eyes closed until she felt the bandage wrapped around her arm. She took a deep breath.

As she continued the rest of her physical, she asked, “So… what is this project meant to do, anyway? I carry the baby to term, and then what?”

“That’s confidential, we can’t tell you that,” Mekata said.

“Well, don’t I deserve to know since I’m so involved?”

“You’re asking too many questions, lady!” Hanada said, hardly looking away from the computer as he copied the things Mekata had written. Hiroko just scoffed. Compared to Mekata, Hanada seemed much more of a mad scientist, and she just hoped he wouldn’t make the project take an unethical turn.

As her physical concluded, Mekata reviewed her routine. He handed her a sheet of paper and pointed to a date at the top. “Starting on this date, you’ll switch to this schedule,” he said, then flipped the sheet over, “And this will be your meal restrictions,”

Hiroko sighed as she stood in the hallway looking at the sheet. Her nausea still hadn’t dissipated.

Hiroko’s parents were delighted when she told them about her part in the Center’s project and congratulated her for being chosen to be involved in something so great. In their presence, something about them felt distant to her, as if she didn’t really know her parents. She only had vague memories of them and her childhood. The memories were fuzzy, as if she had tried to make them up herself. She had a particular memory of being on the phone with her father, but he sounded much different in person than over the phone. Perhaps the speaker was low quality or she was remembering his voice wrong, since that conversation had taken place when she was only a child. She couldn’t remember what the conversation was about.

When it came time for her to switch to her new schedule, Hiroko was summoned before the Bishop to discuss her new role. She was now confined to patrolling the Center headquarters, as to avoid injury that would put the baby at risk. She was told by the Bishop that any complications would be reported as her fault, and may result in her execution. Hiroko was also given a new set of clothes, as her old uniform had grown tight. She now matched her fellow Temple Knights better, which she found disappointing. It was a fight to be able to wear the uniform she already had, but she was relieved that she had something less restricting wear. Women were normally expected to wear shoes with high heels but Mekata protested that prolonged wear of them would eventually affect Hiroko’s health, so she was granted special permission to wear different shoes. She left her ascot on and kept her red whip draped around her body. Though she wouldn’t need it anymore, she found comfort in carrying it with her.

Hiroko struggled to sleep most nights, which Mekata told her was relatively normal. She grew to trust him over the course of her assessments; he was a much more respectable man than Hanada. Hanada seemed quick to irritate, so Hiroko usually avoided initiating conversation. As she struggled to sleep on a late night, she got out of bed and wandered the quiet headquarters until she found herself standing in the nave of the chapel. She gazed upon the golden Messian cross above the altar and out of her pocket pulled out a tiny pair of yellow knitted baby socks. She had found them months ago while on a mission near the Center headquarters. She felt the soft yarn between her fingers, thinking about the baby she carried. Though the project was carried out by the Center, she couldn’t help but wonder if it was truly in the best interests of Tokyo Millennium residents. She was unmarried, and the egg did not belong to her. She was told that this was an honor. She wondered if it was truly God’s will for her to conceive without being married, and if this really was the duty of a woman under the Order of Messiah. Mekata and Hanada still kept details of the project from her, only repeating that it was meant to improve the reproductive ability of Millennium residents. Hiroko wondered what would become of the baby once it was born. She was under the impression that she may have to go as far as raising it, and quietly dreaded it as she wouldn’t even know where to begin taking care of a baby. If it were truly the will of God, she would do her best to welcome the baby. She clutched the little yellow baby socks. She collapsed under the golden cross asking God to forgive her if this were not His will, her tears pooling on the marble altar. Oh God…

Whenever she looked in the mirror, Hiroko saw a blonde woman who resembled herself, but was so far removed that it certainly couldn’t have been her. Her face had become more round with the puffiness of her cheeks and there was no way to hide the fatigue in her expression. That once youthful face she wore was now fading.

While on her patrols through the Center headquarters, she found herself ruminating more on the project and the baby. She had grown accustomed to the feeling of carrying a life inside her, but that discomfort she felt before still persisted. She had begun to grow attached to the baby, hoping that she was protecting it well. None of her physicals had come back abnormal. Mekata and Hanada never mentioned anything about a name, so Hiroko decided to consider some as the Bishop would surely thrust even more responsibility regarding the project onto her. She struggled to come up with anything that she liked, but thought it would be best not to rush. She had the time to spare. She thought of names for both a boy and a girl, as Mekata supposedly wasn’t allowed to tell her even the gender of the baby. Whenever she passed by the bar in the Center headquarters, she sighed, disappointed that she was to abstain from drink for so long.

After the final change in her schedule, Hiroko was relieved of her patrolling duties and was practically confined to only her own room. Her whole body ached under the weight she carried and her bones felt brittle. She felt as though the baby had taken every bit of energy she had. On the walk to Mekata and Hanada’s lab for her final examination, a hollow feeling crept up on her as she passed her fellow Messians. Over the months, they always congratulated her and thanked her for her hard work but something about them felt disingenuous, as if they harbored a disdain for an unmarried woman who carried a baby. Though it was by order of the Bishop, she couldn’t help but wonder if they, too, questioned the will of God. She silently asked God why it had to be her.

The lab never became much more inviting. Hiroko had grown more comfortable with Mekata, but the hostile metal walls and sterile smell only kept her on edge. She still hadn’t shaken the familiar feeling she got from Mekata, either.

Mekata broke the silence, “How are you feeling this time?”

“My whole body hurts,” Hiroko said.

“I don’t doubt it. Be sure to rest as much as you can,” Mekata said, “You’re in the homestretch now,” He explained to her all that she would need to do the day she goes into labor. “And by the way,” he added, “You’ll be in the infirmary with the Center doctors, so Hanada and I won’t be handling your labor,”

She was relieved that she wouldn’t be risking humiliating herself in front of someone who knew her so well, but she was disappointed that she wouldn’t have the presence of someone she was comfortable with. She glanced at Hanada, who seemed too entranced in other work to pay her much mind. He always seemed far more interested in other work, which Hiroko wasn’t quite sure was actually part of the project.

Mekata sent Hiroko on her way rather quickly as he still had quite a bit of work to do for the project. He, of course, wouldn’t tell her what that meant, only saying that there was more to the project than the baby she carried which needed to be finished as soon as possible, ideally before the baby is born. Hanada certainly had no protests in Hiroko’s early departure, only leaving her with a “Begone, woman! We have too much to do!” as she left. The look Mekata gave Hanada made Hiroko wonder just how well the two got along.

On a cold night not long after the first day of winter, Hiroko laid in the stiff infirmary bed, waves of excruciating pain washing through her body. The day the parasite was to burst from her body had finally come. None of Mekata’s warning could have prepared her for the pain she now felt. It was far worse than any injury she had ever sustained from a demon. She began to beg for something to numb the pain. The doctor, with a cold gaze, denied her pleas claiming that it was God’s will for a Messian woman to feel the pain of childbirth as a rite of passage to motherhood, and as punishment for the original sin. In that moment, Hiroko questioned to herself why God was revered as so benevolent when He tortured women so.

The baby’s shrieks drowned out Hiroko’s own sobs. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She held her arms up in her daze waiting for the doctor to hand the baby to her. Through her blurred vision, she watched the doctor wrap the baby up and turn to leave the infirmary. She had only caught a glimpse of the baby, so fragile and innocent.

Hiroko gasped and nearly flew out of the bed as she sat up with her arms outstretched, “Wait! Don’t take my- ugh!” As if prepared for this moment, the nurses all pinned her back down to the bed. She thrashed under their hands as she grew more hysterical. Her heart raced at the thought of losing the baby she worked so hard to protect. One of the nurses lowered a mask over Hiroko’s face and as she began to slip under the anesthesia, she watched the doctor disappear behind the infirmary door.

Hiroko was inconsolable for the two days of recovery she was afforded by the Bishop. She had to be dragged back to her own room by a Temple Knight, paraded through the Center headquarters as she sobbed for someone to bring the baby to her, or for Mekata to advocate for her as he had before. The residents of the Center headquarters didn’t dare watch Hiroko directly, only discussing her state in hushed whispers among themselves outside of her presence. Even when she was to return to her work, her fellow Temple Knights and other residents looked upon her as if they took no issue with her recent outburst. Some offered her empty words of consolation, saying that God’s will would bring everything to its rightful place. Hiroko found herself praying every night for the baby’s safety.

During a patrol through the Center headquarters, Hiroko caught a glimpse of Mekata, who she hadn’t seen since her last physical, turning a corner at the end of the hall. Without hardly another thought, Hiroko sprinted down the hall, chasing Mekata down. She slipped through a doorway without the passcode just shortly after he had entered. He turned around as she grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Mekata!” she said, not even giving herself time to catch her breath, “They took the baby from me!”

Mekata’s expression turned gentle, “I know. He’s in our care, he’s safe,”

So the baby was a boy. Tears welled up in Hiroko’s eyes, “Where is he!?”

“I… can’t give you that information,” he said.

Hiroko grabbed Mekata by the lapel of his suit with trembling hands, “Let me see him! Just once!”

He pulled her into a hug as she began to sob. She clung to him with her whole body quivering. He stood in solemn silence for some time before he gently held her face in his hands, wiping her tears away with his thumbs, “You should not be here. This area is restricted to only myself and Hanada. I know you want to see the baby. Right now, I can’t let you see him. Meet me back here a week from today in the morning, that’s the soonest I can let you see him. We have… much to discuss,” He gave Hiroko the passcode to the hallway door. He made her remember it as the code was highly confidential and writing it somewhere to carry on her person would have grave consequences if she were to be caught. The last thing he said to her was, “I promise he’s safe. Please trust me,”

Hiroko was wholly uninterested in fulfilling her duties as she waited for the week to pass. She avoided showing attitude to the Bishop and letting her fellow Temple Knights know her true feelings, but she wished the day could come sooner. The pit in her heart grew the longer she was away from the baby. She found that it took great effort just to get out of bed in the morning. She was often late to work, and her uniform was always in some kind of disarray. She struggled to remember some of her assignments and wondered if she should have Mekata check her out when they met again. The Bishop was also at his wit’s end with Hiroko, demanding she get her act together before he assigned her to work in the Factory sector. Late at night, she questioned what God had planned for the baby and if He truly wished for this, or if the Bishop and Center Elders were acting out of line. Her anxiety was becoming overwhelming. Hiroko could no longer use her own body to protect the baby. She trusted Mekata to keep the baby safe, but she had grown suspicious of the Bishop and worried that the project would only bring harm to him. The possibilities swirled through her head every time she tried to sleep and her tears could not fill the emptiness in her chest. It felt as though the baby had taken a piece of her with him when he was born.

As she bided her time with work in the Center, she happened to see two Temple Knights, a man and a woman both on separate occasions, who she had never seen before. They must have been new recruits. The man was tall and muscular with his hair shaved on the sides. He wore a sarashi under the vest of his uniform, and had a stern expression on his face. The woman was about Hiroko’s height and wore a bandana around her long, dark hair. Like most of the other Temple Knights, she wore a cape bearing the Messian cross. Her resting expression was gentle. Neither of them ever introduced themselves, and Hiroko never got the chance to introduce herself.

When the day finally came for Hiroko to meet with Mekata, she hauled herself up to the floor of Mekata and Hanada’s lab. While in the elevator, she heard a deafening bang that shook the entire headquarters. She sprinted through the halls as soon as the elevator doors opened. She weaved through the people evacuating and could hear other Temple Knights shouting behind her. The door to the hallway where she was meant to meet Mekata was open and a plume of smoke crawled across the ceiling. The lab had exploded and Mekata was nowhere to be seen. Hanada, too, was absent. All of the equipment was destroyed and one of the walls had completely come down. The room next to Mekata and Hanada’s lab was another, different lab. This one contained a large tank, now broken and its liquid contents spilled across the floor. Hiroko searched through the rubble of both labs for any trace of Mekata or the baby. She sank to the floor and sobbed when she found nothing.

Days later, Hiroko was summoned before the Bishop.

“I’m tasking you with searching for a… little boy who’s gone missing since the recent incident. I suspect he got lost in the commotion during the evacuation. He is very important to the future of the Center- no, the future of Tokyo Millennium, so it is imperative that you find him. But remember, you are not to leave the Center borders,” the Bishop said.

Hiroko furrowed her eyebrows, “What!? But what if he’s gone as far as Valhalla!?”

“Then we will send a special force there to retrieve him. If that is the case, then only learn of his whereabouts and report back,” the Bishop said before Hiroko was sent away.

Winter was harsh and unforgiving, claiming just as many lives as demon attacks. Hiroko spent until the end of spring searching for the boy. She went as far as the Center borders would allow her, as close to nearly leaving as she could. She had no idea who the boy was, the Bishop never told her, but she imagined the pain his parents felt was the same she felt for the baby she carried that she had grown so fond of.

Her worry grew to terror as the months passed. She found herself praying that the boy was safe and would be found soon, and that she would get to see the baby soon. She asked around and eventually was told by someone in the bar of the Center headquarters that the incident had been orchestrated by Mekata and Hanada. Hiroko came to the conclusion that they must have taken the boy with them, and perhaps they had the baby as well. The person at the bar also told her that Hanada was last seen in the Valhalla sector, rumored to be hiding in Madam’s mansion. Hiroko decided in that moment that she would make her way to Valhalla immediately. Though she understood that she was forbidden from leaving the Center borders, she also understood the consequences that would come with abandoning her post. Perhaps if she found the boy, the Bishop would spare her punishment.

In Valhalla, Hiroko thought over the ways that she could get into Madam’s mansion. She could beg the butler to let her in to speak with Madam, or she could break the front door down and demand Madam tells her where Hanada is. As she stood around considering her options, it was almost as if by a strike of divine luck that she looked up to see the TV tower broadcasting Valhalla’s Colosseum. The announcer was crowning the newest champion: a gentle-looking young man with long black hair. Hiroko felt her chest tighten. Madam kept high security at her mansion, but she had a habit of inviting over the champion when a new one was determined. They were often allowed to bring one guest. Hiroko hoped that the new champion would have the heart to take her to Madam’s mansion, and maybe even help her find Hanada and the lost boy. The announcer had said that the new champion hailed from Okamoto’s gym.