like a sewing circle

please baby come back I promise I won't transmit horrific images into your mind via our psychic bond anymore

My morning routine? That's simple: first I wake up, then I get out of bed, then I experience various ailments, maladies, afflictions, etc.

loudspeaker interference ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS THERE IS A FUCKING BEAST LOOSE IN THE HARDWARE AISLE

Doctors just did a test on me and said I don’t have any cells they don’t know what I’m made of but it’s not the same as you. They said I’m cooler too and more special

bumps into someone by accident & they vanish into thin air with a munch sound effect

humans LOOOOVE relief from toil

You find a T-Shirt in a thrift store that says "I joined the international manhunt for [your exact name and sketch of your face] and all I got was this stupid shirt"

there’s been an accident at the explosion factory

Stickin ur feet in a river is cleansing. You just roll up your pant legs and step into the stream. Bam. You’re a new man.

i wake up and immediately physically assault my brain with my phone