promethia_tenk

@mirellapryce

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Edwin, mentally checking Charles’s face against his internal emoji-diagram, mumbling to himself while writing in his notebook: This certainly looks like the frowny face labelled ‘sad’ but I suppose Charles would know better than I.  Noted

Charles, later: Edwin!  Bedside manners, you almost made that girl cry!

@promethia_tenk and I have (for many months) been working on a sequel to The Song of Rowland, and we have finally posted chapter 1:

Edwin the Pagan

Summary: Edwin tries to take off his shirt and accidentally unravels his whole existence.

Or: In which two people who don’t write smut said: ‘You know what would be the perfect vehicle for exploring all of Edwin’s issues? Wedding night fic.’

Notes: Companion piece/sequel to The Song of Rowland. This time it’s Edwin’s turn in the wringer.

His death, to me, is an allegory for an incident of sexual assault, as well as a hate crime. The main perpetrator, Simon, was a boy who believed Edwin was snubbing his advances, whether or not Edwin was actually aware advances were being made. The secondary perpetrators were boys who committed violence against Edwin because of his perceived sexuality and feminine mannerisms. They steal him from his bed in the middle of the night, while he is in his underclothes, to bring him to a secluded location. Edwin is then pinned down on his back while gagged. Just a lot of evident parallels to more literal incidents.

Many decades later, Edwin is once again dealing with sexual harassment from a man that feels rejected. The Cat King, despite his claims of being “fair and consensual” attempts to commit the most literal form of sexual coercion. He attempts to exchange Edwin’s freedom for a sexual favor, and when that doesn’t immediately work, he assigns Edwin a task that is acknowledged to be almost impossible. Of course, he leaves the option of sleeping with him still on the table, knowing Edwin is made unsafe by staying in Port Townsend for too long because he’s on the run. The Cat King also appears several more times to harass Edwin with sexual comments, pressure to take the first offer, and a memorable appearance in episode 6 where he threatens to “stop playing nice.”

Monty also kisses Edwin without permission and turns to passive-aggression when Edwin doesn’t return his affection. But, I don’t think it’s shown to be as impactful as the other two examples.

The boys get more and more disconnected from each other during the first few episodes but they are in the office away from Crystal's gaze for about 90 seconds before they start acting like this:

"You'll rip your arm clean off. Stop that now! ...I'm not as quick as you, but I am here to help. Honestly, Edwin, can't you tell me what really happened with the Cat King?"

"Right. Fine, then. How about this? Take a deep breath. And put your big brain to work, 'cause the answer's gotta be in there somewhere."

Like... they are Home and In Private for barely a minute before they relax into this dynamic, which is, notably, not the one they show in canon-era, most of the time - but it is the one that we're shown in the pilot is 'normal' for them.

The Charles who coaxes Edwin to share, stops his self-harm, guides him through breathing, praises him to calm him, that's not the Charles that shows up in front of Crystal (or even Niko). But it absolutely is the Charles who bounces around Edwin trying to coax him into playing - er, boxing - to nudge him into new things and to keep him safe and to have fun with him, the Charles who specifically selects a "gentleman's sport" to try to suit Edwin's tastes and then gives puppy eyes knowing full well Edwin couldn't deny them even if he'd chosen MMA.

The Edwin who follows Charles's guidance, lets himself be soothed, follows care-related orders promptly with only a minimum of brattiness, that's not the one lashing out and bristling his authority in Port Townsend. But it absolutely is the one who caves to bouncing-Charles's puppy-dog eyes instantaneously, who barely bonks Charles with his fist and then raises his eyebrows proudly anticipating Charles's praise for the bonk, the one who lets Charles shove him to knock him from freeze into flight and throw him all the way over a desk because if Charles is doing it that means it's to keep him safe.

And, incidentally, it's also a lot closer to how they are in Hell. Even in literal Hell they're closer to their norm because at least they're in private.

We also see little bits of it every other time they snatch a few moments of privacy, even though it's way toned down outside of Home; Charles spilling about kissing like five minutes after doing it, Edwin trying to come out and then doing so, "best person I know", "...what are you worried about, then?", etcetera.

They want to tell each other every thought they have the moment they have it; they want to take care of each other. They're just only capable of it when they're alone and safe and have time away from judging eyes.

And, like... when we recognize that this is their norm, so much so that they go back into it the moment they are in their Space, like, quite honestly, no fucking wonder they're both crashing out the whole time they're in Port Townsend!

Edwin's clearly been outsourcing a lot of his emotional regulation to Charles, which means with Charles unable to provide it, he's got nothing to keep him stable.

Meanwhile, Charles is dependent on that role for his own emotional regulation, so he freaks out when he can't do it. (This is very clearly established: "What good am I even doing? I couldn't stop Devlin from murdering his family over and over. I can't stop Crystal from hurting. I can't stop whatever is going on with you." He explicitly crashes out because he is unable to "keep the spirits up". There are other factors, absolutely - but it's stated pretty clearly that if he were able to successfully fill his normal role right now, he'd be able to manage the other shit.)

The boys get more and more disconnected from each other during the first few episodes but they are in the office away from Crystal's gaze for about 90 seconds before they start acting like this:

"You'll rip your arm clean off. Stop that now! ...I'm not as quick as you, but I am here to help. Honestly, Edwin, can't you tell me what really happened with the Cat King?"

"Right. Fine, then. How about this? Take a deep breath. And put your big brain to work, 'cause the answer's gotta be in there somewhere."

Like... they are Home and In Private for barely a minute before they relax into this dynamic, which is, notably, not the one they show in canon-era, most of the time - but it is the one that we're shown in the pilot is 'normal' for them.

The Charles who coaxes Edwin to share, stops his self-harm, guides him through breathing, praises him to calm him, that's not the Charles that shows up in front of Crystal (or even Niko). But it absolutely is the Charles who bounces around Edwin trying to coax him into playing - er, boxing - to nudge him into new things and to keep him safe and to have fun with him, the Charles who specifically selects a "gentleman's sport" to try to suit Edwin's tastes and then gives puppy eyes knowing full well Edwin couldn't deny them even if he'd chosen MMA.

The Edwin who follows Charles's guidance, lets himself be soothed, follows care-related orders promptly with only a minimum of brattiness, that's not the one lashing out and bristling his authority in Port Townsend. But it absolutely is the one who caves to bouncing-Charles's puppy-dog eyes instantaneously, who barely bonks Charles with his fist and then raises his eyebrows proudly anticipating Charles's praise for the bonk, the one who lets Charles shove him to knock him from freeze into flight and throw him all the way over a desk because if Charles is doing it that means it's to keep him safe.

And, incidentally, it's also a lot closer to how they are in Hell. Even in literal Hell they're closer to their norm because at least they're in private.

We also see little bits of it every other time they snatch a few moments of privacy, even though it's way toned down outside of Home; Charles spilling about kissing like five minutes after doing it, Edwin trying to come out and then doing so, "best person I know", "...what are you worried about, then?", etcetera.

They want to tell each other every thought they have the moment they have it; they want to take care of each other. They're just only capable of it when they're alone and safe and have time away from judging eyes.

And, like... when we recognize that this is their norm, so much so that they go back into it the moment they are in their Space, like, quite honestly, no fucking wonder they're both crashing out the whole time they're in Port Townsend!

Edwin's clearly been outsourcing a lot of his emotional regulation to Charles, which means with Charles unable to provide it, he's got nothing to keep him stable.

Meanwhile, Charles is dependent on that role for his own emotional regulation, so he freaks out when he can't do it. (This is very clearly established: "What good am I even doing? I couldn't stop Devlin from murdering his family over and over. I can't stop Crystal from hurting. I can't stop whatever is going on with you." He explicitly crashes out because he is unable to "keep the spirits up". There are other factors, absolutely - but it's stated pretty clearly that if he were able to successfully fill his normal role right now, he'd be able to manage the other shit.)

Thinking seriously for perhaps the first time about the fact that Charles' sense of security is dependent on his ability to emotionally regulate the people around him because, of course, the biggest source of danger in his life was his inability to regulate his father. (This makes it sound like it was Charles' fault that he couldn't make his father happy, but you get my point.) Which means that, in a very literal and direct sense, making Edwin feel safe makes Charles feel safe. And Edwin, who is 1) dramatic in his displays of distress and 2) very pliable under normal conditions (at least for Charles), is sort of an ideal subject for Charles' ministrations because he provides basically constant feedback that Charles is doing his self-appointed job well and is, therefore, safe (and also needed and thus secure).

For me my chewtoy is Charles suddenly snapping “You’ll rip your arm clean off. Stop that now!” and Edwin immediately obeying

It instantly shifts the power dynamic of the scene - before then, Edwin has been condescendingly ordering Charles around, and then Charles snaps a command and from that point in the scene Charles is in charge (telling Edwin to take deep breaths and use his big brain), in a sort of… protectively and lovingly firm caretaker role. And Edwin accepts that power shift without hesitation or complaint, no attempt to either assert authority (as he had been doing earlier) or resist authority (as he does with anyone other than Charles)

And it’s a pretty sharp snap, which means the only time we’re really shown Charles being at all aggressive towards Edwin without being completely and utterly in crash-out mode is in order to protect Edwin from himself, and a clearly-long-established part of Charles’s protector role being protecting Edwin from Edwin by force if necessary just makes me kind of feral. (He also gets kinda harsh with the impatient “Great, can we go?”s when Edwin’s stalling leaving Hell, which is also protecting Edwin from Edwin, from his POV at the time.) Like, how often does it happen, that Charles has to intervene to prevent Edwin from harming himself? And it’s not just him that’s adopted that as part of his role, Edwin also clearly accepts that as part of Charles’s role, and and and

Anyway, I could write a twenty page essay on that line because it’s my chewtoy, but the point here isn’t my essay it’s the invitation to share your chewtoys. So what are y’all’s?