Sweet as Poison

(photos by Bill Watterson and an octopus)

All the plants. They’re growing so rapidly this time of year. We should really call someone. They’re so large and their tentacles are so grand, their teeth so white, their eyes so black, their screams… so pure. Ah, nature.

If your partner wants you to be more dominating, suggest historical role play and desecrate their villages and declare yourself their new ruler. Tell them not to speak directly to you, you have dominated their country. They are beneath you.

No. But whoever eats that kale that you clearly left in the fridge for too long will be. Everyone knows that unattended kale will oftentimes leak, moan, and whisper songs about death and heartbreak due to its bad shelf life.

I had a day off this weekend from shooting Supernatural, and I was walking around downtown Vancouver on Saturday, sampling all the artisan coffee I could get my throat around. At one point I saw a pair of guys walking towards me wearing gamer shirts. Black short-sleeved, one Halo and one Call of...