The Night Vale Post

Maybe stop complaining and let the mud consume you like we all hoped for.

Try a larger font

wtf

Ah finally. Some delicious messages.

From here forth, City Council has demanded all those with adult qualities to be flagged. If you or a loved one has suddenly began producing large flags from bodily orifices, officials suggest you begin acting in a childish manner immediately.

Existence never ends. Only life. And the sun. And time. And your favorite tv show. But not spiders. They remain.

Attempt with snakes

Snakes

Have you tried snakes?

A way to go back? To ask forgiveness? To ask, “how do we go forward?” To hear, “we’re already too far behind.”

Go along with his jokes. When he says "knock knock," ask who is there. When he asks you to pull his finger, run for the hills, find his finger, and pluck it from the dirt. When he says "Boy Montana is so hot!" Ask "How! Hot! Is it?! And also where! Is! Montana! And why has the government hidden it from us all these years?!?!?"

No zipper, button, drawstring, nor lock can entirely conceal a compartment full of the soft murmurs of voices that sound vaguely like strangers and yet alarmingly like loved ones...

Side of effects of the beginning may include Geography lessons. If there are persistent antiques in the room please contact your doctor before starting the removal process as this may prove to be the beginning of a 400 day cycle of a new cycle. It’s starting