Teen!Suguru who will sneak into your dorm at ungodly hours just to make sure you’re safe.
Teen!Suguru who leaves origami of his cursed spirits on your window. Your favorite is his rainbow Dragon.
Teen!Suguru who loves acts of service. You tidy up his room? Yeah, he’s cuddling you for hours, talking about how much he adores you.
Teen!Suguru refuses to let you carry anything with him. Purse? He’s wearing it like it’s his. Groceries or shopping bags? Carrying them all in one hand while the other is around your waist.
Teen!Suguru who is a brat. Ask him to get up so you can go to the bathroom? He throws a leg over you and uses all his body weight to pin you down.
Teen!Suguru who lets you style his hair. He lets you braid it, comb it, etc. But what he really loves is when you drag your fingers through the strands. It reminds him of his mother.
Teen!Suguru who gets anxious when you go on solo missions. He’s constantly calling Ijichi to check up on you or just going and finding you himself. It puts his mind at ease when he knows you’re ok.
Teen!Suguru who uses you as his personal pillow. He loves laying his head on your chest to hear your heartbeat. It proves that you’re here and you’re alive.
Teen!Suguru needs you as a battery charge. After dealing with Satoru all day, he’s exhausted and needs a break. He’ll curl up in your bed, wrapped in your scent and just relax.
Teen!Suguru who is obsessed with your hands. He will play with your fingers, massage your palm with his thumb, or kiss your knuckles all day if he could.
Teen!Suguru who begs you to join his quest to eliminate all non-sorcerers. He’s constantly castling and asking because he just wants a better life for you.
Hi! This is my first post, if you liked it, please like, reblog, or comment!
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frat!yuji x reader. you lose a bet against nobara, now you’re being blindly set up at a halloween party. you? officer. yuji itadori? inmate.
warnings! : mdni, 18+. aged up yuji + characters. smut : p in v, drugs & smoking (marijuana), petnames, semi-public sex, squirting. basically 6k words of pure filth. prob ooc. reader is a cutie cosplaying as baddie. she’s also horny as fuck. she is us.
songs i listened to :
playing dangerous - lana del rey
i smoked away my brain — a$ap rocky
redbone - childish gambino
kiss land - the weekend
les - childish gambino
hotel - montell fish
so high - doja cat
TBH - party next door
note : finally, some fucking food. been having a yuji craving recently. trying out the whole lowercase thing on this post, lmk if it’s annoying! asks are open <3
wc : 8.3k
“well, you know what that means! you lost the bet. now you have to come to kappa phi on saturday,” nobara, your best friend and roommate of 6 months boasted.
you were caught red handed eating a bowl of creamy instant ramen from the 7/11 around the corner. now, this usually wouldn’t be an issue if not for the fact that you and nobara were on a strict “90 days hard” challenge. that meant nothing but disgustingly healthy food for 3 months.
after such a short time of being in a fashion marketing internship together, you and nobara had grown into the closest and purest female friendship you had ever experienced. a safe space to be a monster and curse death on a bitch who did you dirty? that is your friendship explained. an honest and caring heart poured into every conversation? you had hit the jackpot.
this 90 day challenge however, was making you question that.
“dude, you were serious about that?” you groaned with a mouthful, throwing your head back and swallowing the ramen.
“yes, and even more now that you folded. that means i can get wasted this weekend!” she cackled before she got slightly serious, her tone light, “so what would you do if i said i already bought you a costume?”
you narrowed your eyes at her, “what is it and why did you pick it for me?”
”let’s just say you’ll be matching a friend of mine at the party and i’m not telling you who so don’t bother asking!” she squealed at the end once she saw you stand from your spot on the shared cream sofa.
”just tell me how you know him and whether you genuinely think setting us up is a good idea, and why,” you told her in a slightly serious tone. you and nobara weren’t strangers to double first dates with random dudes from hinge or sending each other a cute guy at the bar, but this was the first time she’d set you up with a friend.
“okay, his name is yuji itadori. i’ve mentioned him before, remember? he and our friend megumi go to jujutsu tech but they’re from the same chapter so they’ll be there on saturday. you haven’t met them because they were studying abroad this summer, but they’re back now for fall. this halloween will be their first time back out so you have to be there!”
”okay, okay! what else?”
”you’d seriously love him. and i would never date him, that’s how i know he’s good for you—“
”be serious!” you smacked her.
”ow! you’re both strong as hell! no but seriously, i think you guys would really hit it off. he’s sort of like you; a weirdo disguised as a baddie. or conventionally hot people who are actually cuties. you guys can seem to just be typical twenty somethings but you guys are actual nerds. he’s basically a geek jock.”
”say no more.”
the 31st of october had rolled around quickly, you and nobara currently getting ready in her large bathroom.
“what did you say he plays again? i don’t want to start talking about scoring goals when he’s making 3-pointers,” you grumbled as you curled your hair to perfection, pinning the section in order to set it.
“he’s making home runs,” nobara answered with a smile, straightening a section of her short hair.
“okay, and where did he—“
you were interrupted by the shrill ringtone blaring from nobara’s phone cutting through meg the stallion’s voice.
“hello?” nobara swiped right on ‘meg 🐺’ nearly shouting to be heard over the music.
“turn that shit down!” megumi yelled, his voice drowned out.
”excuse you, don’t say that about meg the stallion!” a voice faintly called out in the background.
you quickly moved to turn the music down, mouthing a ‘sorry’ at the phone.
“what do you want, fushiguro?” nobara spoke at her naturally loud volume.
“what time are you guys pulling up? its going to be packed so i’ll come out and get you guys,” the deep voice spoke through the phone, wavering as if he were moving around.
”how packed? like that one time at your place? or like—“
“todo! where do we put our stuff?” megumi’s voice interrupted.
”you can put your stuff in my room. choso left his room unlocked for you, itadori.”
”okay but you better not have sex on the fucking bed like that one time—“
”fushiguro! don’t call me and then ignore me!” nobara yelled into the speaker. clearly her voice could be heard through megumi’s speaker because a new voice responded.
”is that kugisaki? you better go out and grab her cause it’s going to be packed as a motherfucker,” the deeper voice spoke in the background.
”hey, choso.” nobara spoke in a flirty tone, smirking at you. so this was the hot older brother she was talking about. you giggled quietly.
“cut that shit out! of course i’m going to grab them. what time do you think you’ll get here?” megumi’s voice spoke, going from irritated to slightly less annoyed.
”well we’re finishing up our hair, then we’ll get dressed and head out. we’re walking there so it’ll be maybe another hour?”
”it’s going to be super loud so i’m going to keep my ringtone on. call me when you’re on frat row.”
”’kay,” nobara answered nonchalantly, her straightener squeaking quietly.
“‘kay, bye—wait! are you still bringing your friend for yuji? he said he wants to know whether looking like a carrot will be worth it,” megumi spoke, voice clearly holding back a laugh.
“watch out yu, might have to steal her from you if she’s anything like your friend,”
choso’s words could be heard in the background.
you and nobara grabbed each other by the arms, flailing around silently as you freaked out.
”dude, shut up. yes or no, kugisaki?”
”yes, it’ll be worth it, itadori!” nobara giggled into the speaker, smiling at you as she picked up the straightener to go over her front pieces.
“‘kay, good. he’s bitchless and ready—“ another voice that was heard close to the phone was interrupted by scuffling and yells, new voices laughing in the room.
”you’re an asshole, okkotsu,” a boyish voice spoke.
”go get dressed jail boy. people are already starting to fill up the backyard,” the same voice spoke.
”call me later, kugisaki.” the call ended, nobara putting down her straightener and turning to you,
”so, how are you feeling?” she asked and continued before you could answer, “i know you’re nervous but everyone’s really nice. we should probably just steer clear of choso and his friends, maybe todo too. maki is going to be there. we’ll go in, chill for a little and then you can look for itadori.”
“okay, i’m feeling good. can you help me put on the costume before i undo the curls? i don’t want them to drop if i sweat to put it on—which speaking of! i can’t believe you didn’t let me try it on! what if it doesn’t fit?” you panicked at the thought of needing to come up with a last minute costume as a backup.
“i literally took your measurements not too long ago, plus we still kind of locked in for a month and a half. thats gotta count for something. it’s going to fit, trust me,” she walked as she spoke, you following behind her as she entered her room and went straight for her closet.
“it better,” you grumbled.
she pulled out a small bag, spilling the contents onto her bed. there was the costume which she grabbed and held up. it was a typical sexy cop costume, a deeper blue color adorned with buckles and a belt that sat in the middle. the zipper ended low on the top, meaning your boobs needed to act right and cooperate. the rest of the bag’s contents included handcuffs, a fake gun and a hat.
with nobara’s strength and a prayer, the short romper went up and over your ass, zipped, and your boobs were adjusted to perfection.
“holy shit, you look hot as fuck!” nobara yelled, whipping out her phone to snap photos of you.
“my ass is kinda hanging out,” you cringed, seeing the back of the romper. one bend over and its over.
”your ass isn’t hanging out enough, girl. help me get dressed now!”
an hour later, you and nobara were making the short walk to the kappa phi house. students in costumes filled the streets, music could be heard throughout the neighborhoods, and groups of people walked in the same direction as you two. nobara’s phone began to ring once the house came into view, the same caller id as before.
“hey,” nobara answered.
”hey, you said you’d be here in an hour. its been an hour,” megumi’s voice could barely be heard over the music blasting.
”geez, chill out. we left the house after the hour, we can see the house now,” nobara answered, “start coming out.”
”what’re you dressed as?”
”just look for a fairy,” nobara responded. she was dressed as rosetta from the tinkerbell movies.
“‘kay, i see you.”
”what did you dress as? i don’t see you,” she held her phone to her mouth, looking around at the crowd of people standing at the front of the house. an a$ap rocky blared through the speakers, the smell of smoke and sweat becoming stronger.
“um..” you heard from behind you, the same voice as the one that was heard on the phone. kugisaki ended the call and you both turned to see a tall, pale guy with messy hair hidden under a baseball cap. he was wearing a baseball uniform, filling it out nicely.
“fushiguro, are you dressed as yourself?” nobara laughed, slapping a hand over her mouth. your lips quirked up, trying not to laugh.
the player turned around to show the backside of his jersey, the letters ‘ITADORI’ written straight across his back with a big number 8 underneath.
“no way, you’re dressed as yuji! don’t tell me you lost a bet, too?” nobara cackled, turning to you and grabbing your shoulders, “this is the friend i brought for itadori, what do you think?” she introduced you, looking back and forth between you two as you shook hands, telling him your name.
”i’m megumi fushiguro. you’re definitely itadori’s type, i’ll say that,” he said, turning back around to walk towards the house.
you both followed, nobara giving you a thumbs up before speaking up, “can you take us to maki? we’re going to chill for a bit before looking for itadori.”
”yeah, they’re outside smoking.”
he led you guys through the sea of people in the entrance and living room, parting the way to enter the backyard. there was still a lot of people outside, but space to breathe. you met up with the group of people, being introduced to maki’s boyfriend and their friends. todo was among them, but nobara was sure to put you between her and maki, especially once she noticed the look he gave you when you introduced yourself.
you all passed around a blunt, you taking the least hits so that you could be levelheaded yet relaxed. the water you’d been drinking to prevent cottonmouth had caught up to you, your bladder screaming at you. you were able to sneak away from the group, making your way through the crowd in the living room. you wandered around until you bumped into someone’s back, sending you backward a couple steps as you tried to not embarrass yourself.
”hey! are you okay?” you heard a male voice call out over the music, looking up to see what could be described as a hot emo guy. tattoos adorned his pale face, arms, and neck, along with facial piercings. he was jacked and tall.
”i’m okay, thanks. sorry for bumping into you, i’m just trying to find the bathroom which is lowkey impossible,” you raised your voice to answer him, making contact with his hazel eyes, reddened by what was most likely marijuana.
”i can show you the way, c’mon,” he said before turning around, leading the way. you chose to trust the stranger and followed closely yet alert, trying to not be swept away with the crowd.
once you made it out of the living room and into the hallway, he began leading you upstairs and away from the party. you hesitated to follow him, not fully trusting this stranger who had been kind up until now. when he noticed you hadn’t followed him up the first few steps, he turned back and gave you a reassuring smile as he spoke.
”hey, i promise i’m just taking you to the bathroom. i live here and have thrown enough parties to know that you’ll be standing in line for the downstairs bathroom for at least thirty minutes. so unless you’re okay with that, i’d come upstairs.”
once you heard the last sentence, you were making your way upstairs with the kind stranger. he led you through the right hallway and stopped in front of the first door.
“here you go. we cleaned the bathroom extra hard in case any pretty girls needed to use it,” he smirked, opening the door for you and stepping aside.
you couldn’t help the blush that crept up your neck and up to your face, pressing your lips together and looking down to hide your face.
”well, thank you. what’s your name?” you asked, still looking down.
“name’s choso,” he responded, making you raise your gaze slowly, recognizing the name as someone nobara specifically told you to avoid. not because he’s a creep, but because he’s a dangerous flirt.
“thank you, choso,” you introduced yourself, telling him your name in return. you entered the bathroom, about to close the door when you heard him speak, clearly smirking,
”oh, i know.”
you paused, not knowing how to react. you chose to just close the door once you heard his footsteps retreating.
“hey yuji, have you seen your policewoman yet? because i have and let me just say; damn,” choso spoke in yuji’s ear, slapping him on the shoulder twice.
”dude, what? no, i haven’t seen her yet, where did you see her?” yuji asked, rubbing his deltoids and looking around for you. the view from the kitchen was really restricted.
”i helped her find the bathroom and let her use the one upstairs. better keep an eye out for when she comes back down,” choso smirked.
yuji felt his stomach drop. he was really about to meet you. finally.
yuji had been waiting for this moment for months. ever since nobara had mentioned you and described his ideal woman. yuji had been stalking your instagram silently, using their frat’s sweetheart maki’s phone to actually scroll through your highlights when he wanted to lurk even further. he hadn’t been able to formally be set up with you due to his hectic schedule as a full-time student and athlete trying to keep both his athletic and academic scholarship. the season had finally concluded after their win at the college world series.
now was his chance.
when nobara had brought up the idea of having you lose a “bet” that she said she knew you could never win, which included him finally introducing himself to you, he could’ve hugged her. he would’ve, if she didn’t threaten to kill him if he touched her.
yuji made his way out of the kitchen and tried getting closer to the staircase in hopes of having an easier time finding you. he had no clue how tall you were, what if you were short and he misses you? how many girls here are matching their boyfriends and chose an officer and inmate as their couples costume? he was beginning to lose hope.
that was until he felt something—or rather someone crash into his chest. he had been too distracted looking up at the staircase to see if anyone had been walking straight in his direction. ‘redbone’ by childish gambino infiltrated his ears, leaving one of his senses down. his arms immediately shot out to grab the person by the shoulders, hoping they wouldn’t fall over.
“are you o—“
“i am so sorry! this is the second time i run into someone,” he heard the voice speak, looking down to see the top of a girl’s head, only seeing neatly styled hair. she was looking down, causing yuji to look down and see her shifting up the top of her black knee high boots. when she finished adjusting, she looked up and yuji nearly came in his pants.
his eyes immediately landed on the boobs perfectly situated on your chest, covered barely enough to leave any person’s imagination to run rampant. they stood out against the deep blue fabric of a costume. a cop costume. yuji’s eyes immediately snapped up to meet your own, a crimson burn beginning to make its way onto his ears and cheeks at the embarrassment of being caught staring at said boobs. his heart absolutely dropped to his feet when he realized exactly who he had run into. trying to save himself, he reluctantly let go of your soft arms as one of his hands reached up to rub the back of his neck, a nervous habit.
“its okay! are you okay, though?” he asked, trying not to show just how anxious he was. you were absolutely unreal in person.
you were equally as anxious the moment your eyes locked on the pink locks on the man’s head, the orange jumpsuit with the arms tied around his waist, and a white tank that emphasized his jacked arms. arms that if you were correct, belonged to a certain bat swinger.
you tore your eyes away from the bulging bicep that was emphasized by his arm raising up and off your shoulder and onto his neck. “i’m okay! are you okay? i hit your chest pretty hard, i’m so sorry,” you furrowed your brows, genuine concern evident to yuji.
he let out a small laugh at your question, following up with, “i think you took the hit harder than me.”
you couldn’t help but laugh at his response, “i think you’re right. if you hadn’t caught me, i think i would’ve actually hit the floor. you seemed like you were in a rush.”
were you teasing him? yuji felt butterflies in his stomach at the sound of your laugh and the way your lips turned up in a small smirk at the end of your sentence.
”i guess you could say i was sort of on a hunt for a certain someone, not exactly a rush,” he lightly grinned at you, hoping you had recognized who he was by this point. what if nobara had completely set him up as a joke and you were about to think he was a grade 1 creep?
oh god.
”found who you were looking for?” you tilted your head innocently, lips pursed in attempting to hold back a smile. yuji felt the warmth in his stomach begin to spread up to his chest.
”i think i did. it’s nice to meet you,” yuji spoke your name out loud, taking his hand off his neck to reach out for a handshake. your smaller hand clasped his own, an electric feeling spreading from both of your fingertips at the contact.
”nice to meet you too, yuji,” you finally let your smile show on your face, especially when yuji’s own smile widened when you said his name. you slowly let go of each other’s hands, though your grins never left either of your faces.
”do you want to go somewhere a little more quiet? we won’t be competing in a ‘who can be louder’ competition with childish gambino,” yuji leaned in to speak into your ear, allowing you to take a whiff of his cologne and natural scent; slightly sweet like vanilla and rugged musk.
you giggled at his words, nodding your head. yuji felt his heart skip at your sweet laugh. he took the opportunity to place his hand out, silently asking you to hold his hand in order to guide you both. he knew he could easily part the crowd for you both, but he wanted to take the chance to feel your soft hand in his again. his prayer was answered when you lifted your hand and placed it into his open palm, his large fingers wrapping around yours, not intertwined.
as he led you both through the hoards of people, you noticed he had a natural presence that invoked people to move out of his way. it was the aura combined with the way he stood at a tall height, broad shoulders covering the view of the people in front of you, undoubtedly confirming his large size. in the short duration of your talk, you could see the soft features of his face when he actually spoke, the kindness in his eyes and smile. the way those muscled arms moved loosely, almost in a careless way like he didn’t realize how much space he took up.
you were absolutely wet.
trying to ignore the feeling, you reached a door to the side of the kitchen, walking through the doorway and out to what appeared to be the side of the house, obvious by the warm breeze hitting you, plus the fence separating the house and their neighbors. this was the side that didn’t have a fence gate open to the public, only a couple people that had wandered this far standing around. you could only faintly hear the music now.
“we can sit here if you want,” yuji spoke, pointing over to a small bench. he slowly began to loosen his other hand’s grip on your own, not wanting you to think he was being weird. however, once he felt your fingers tighten onto his own and you walked in front of him to pull him over to the bench, he was reassured that you did not think he was a weirdo.
he was also sure of two things. one; ass will always be over boobs, and two; he was so hard, any brush of his cock against the orange jumpsuit’s pants was almost enough to send him running to the bathroom to relieve himself.
your ass jiggled as you walked, the peek of your asscheeks doing little to keep yuji from busting at that instant. he was interrupted of his horny thoughts when you turned to sit, letting go of his hand to allow him to sit next to you. he sat close enough that he could see your face clearly, but far enough that you could both angle your bodies towards each other, knees brushing slightly as you chose to cross your legs and lean your left arm on the back of the bench. yuji tried his hardest to ignore how the pose pushed your tits together, subtly pulling his pants down a little to ensure the fabric around his erection was loose.
yuji suddenly remembered the joints he had choso roll for him, pulling the a small tin out of one of the many pockets on his orange cargos. he knew if he were high, he might be able to be bolder and communicate smoother. he popped the lid and asked, “wanna smoke?”
a minute later, yuji was passing you the joint, a pretty cherry print. you immediately recognized it as your favorite cherry rolling paper.
“oh my gosh, i love this paper! how did you get these rolls?” you asked, bringing the joint up to your lips, sucking in the bitter tasting hot air. you failed to notice how yuji’s eyes focused on your lips wrapped around the roll, and how he wished they were wrapped around something else.
“i had my older brother choso roll them. nobara mentioned the paper was your favorite, so i asked him to use it,” yuji said, smiling sheepishly.
”really? what else did nobara say about me?” you grinned at him after blowing out the smoke, finding his almost shy nature endearing. you passed him the joint.
you both took turns taking hits of the cherry flavored joint, talking about anything and everything. conversation ranged from school and friends, his study abroad, his team’s win at their world series, your favorite animes and mangas at the moment, and your top 5 on letterbox.
both your eyes got heavier and glossy, your eyelash extensions only enhancing the droopiness. yuji was now mimicking your pose, his right arm leaning against the back of the bench as well. his eyes remained focused on your lips as you spoke about the worst letterbox rating you’d ever seen.
“you can’t trust anyone who’d rate blades of glory a 2–hey, are you okay?” you asked yuji when you noticed his shiny eyes focused on your mouth. you suddenly felt the warmth that had been brewing in your lower stomach travel south, feeling yourself grow wetter.
“have you ever shotgunned before?” yuji found himself asking boldly, his fingers plucking the joint from your own. you shook your head no. “do you know what shotgunning is?” he followed up. you nodded yes. you had gone nonverbal at the thought of your lips being so close.
he brought the roll up to his lips, sucking in for a few long seconds before his large hand reached up to grip your chin and jaw, the sudden movement catching you off guard. your lips opened up instinctively, yuji bringing your face only inches away from his own. he blew the smoke out, the white cloud making its way into your lips as you inhaled. your eyes didn’t leave each other once as you then blew the smoke back into his awaiting lips. you didn’t miss how his face moved closer to yours, close enough that you could feel his breath on your lips. you barely whispered his name before yuji was pressing his lips onto yours.
you didn’t waste a moment to reciprocate, bringing your arms up to wrap around his neck, allowing yourself to be pulled into his embrace. yuji’s arms came around your waist, pressing you up against his chest as your lips moved against each others. yuji’s lips were soft and plump, urging you to suck on his bottom lip. he let out a low groan, his hands now wandering from your waist to trail up and down your back, teasing just above your ass. his fingertips left warm sparks in their travel, causing you to let out a small whimper against yuji’s lips. he pulled back for a moment at the sound, your eyes fluttering open to look into his blown out pupils. you immediately grabbed his hand with two of your own, bringing the large palm and fingers to rest on your right boob.
yuji felt his eyes widen at the feeling of your breast in his hand, the desperate look on your face causing him to let out a moan before diving back into your lips, closing his fingers around your flesh and squeezing your tit. you moaned against his lips as the feeling, yuji’s tongue coming out to invade your mouth. his other hand finally trailed down, grabbing a handful of ass. the task was easy considering the fact that you were practically in his lap without actually straddling him. noticing this, yuji used his strength to pull you up and onto his lap, hands immediately coming down to knead your ass, pulling out cute whines from you. yuji wishes he could’ve recorded the noises to keep forever. he felt your smaller hands travel down his chest and arms, feeling the muscles in both places. his chest felt incredibly hot, wanting nothing more than to be pressing his bare chest against your own.
he pulled his lips from yours to begin trailing kisses on your cheek, then down under your ear, pressing his nose into the skin to inhale your scent; your vanilla and floral perfume was driving yuji crazy. you gasped at the feeling of him quite literally breathing you in, his lips beginning to train down your neck and throat. your hips involuntarily jerked down in attempt to relieve some of the throbbing of your clit. your center landed on his erection, the feeling of it on your clit causing both of you to moan out loud. your hands gripped his biceps for dear life as his hands on your ass began to slowly grind you on him.
you suddenly became hyper aware of the fact that you were both still outside, and although the people in the backyard couldn’t give less of a shit about a random couple dry humping, you weren’t sure how into exhibitionism yuji was.
“y-yuji,” you whimpered, the sliding of your soaked thong against your nub as yuji ground you onto his cock feeling heavenly. “can we—“ you stopped yourself, unsure how to ask him if you both could find any empty room and fuck.
”can we what, pretty girl?” yuji’s hooded eyes looked up at you, a smirk forming on his face. he knew damn well.
”can we…go somewhere?” you pleaded, rubbing your hands up and down his biceps. his hands were still dragging you back and forth on his lap, barely allowing you to form a coherent sentence. you didn’t miss the nickname that made you clench around nothing.
”hmm, somewhere? somewhere like where?” he slid his hand in between your legs and above his print, allowing your clothed pussy to grind against his hand, his fingers perfectly positioned to press against your clit.
”yuji! please baby, stop teasing me. take me somewhere and fuck me, please,” you begged, your hips never once faltering against his hand. you had clearly lost your composure and decency, the need to be railed by this dream man taking over.
yuji shivered at the nickname. the combination sight of your furrowed eyebrows and parted lips plus your hips grinding against his hand desperately was enough for yuji to detach his hand, shushing you sweetly with sweet kisses to the corner of your lips when you whimpered at the loss. his hands gripped your waist, and you were impressed when he lifted you from his lap and onto your wobbly legs. he stood and turned away from you to adjust his pants, hissing at how strained his cock was against his boxers. you giggled through your horny haze at the sound, proud of your effect on him.
yuji turned back around and smiled at the sweet noise, loving how you could flip the switch from being a horny, whiny mess to such an adorable little thing. he grabbed your hand and threaded his fingers through your own, pulling you to follow him with a, "c'mon, pretty girl.”
you blindly followed yuji back through the house, though this time he dragged you toward the front door and outside. he kept pulling you behind him until it was not as crowded, allowing you to fall into step beside him, your hands still intertwined. you walked in comfortable silence, your cheeks warm from the recent events as you peeked at yuji’s side profile. you didn’t expect him to already be watching you.
”what? is my makeup smudged or something?” you asked, self consciously patting around your lips to see if you felt gloss smeared to your chin.
yuji huffed out a small laugh, shaking his head, “no, it’s perfect. a-and so are you. i can’t really believe that this is happening,” he confessed, his other hand rubbing at his neck again, you picking up on the habit. “i should probably be honest. i knew about you months ago and asked kugisaki to set this up.”
you looked at him in shock, lips parting but a small smile lingering, “yuji—“
”i promise i’d never usually interrupt you, pretty girl, but you gotta hear me out. when you and nobara first became friends and she’d rant to us about you, all i could think was ‘i need to meet this girl.’ i spent months listening to her talk about you, seeing photos of you that she’d show me. all it did was make me want you even more. i was too busy before to mentally handle a relationship, but i’m here now. if you’re willing to, i’d like to take you out tomorrow morning on an actual date. will you let me, angel?”
your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your chest. the feeling of somebody actively yearning for you without you even knowing, and then feeling that finally meeting you was something they couldn’t even believe, felt like something out of a movie. you could see yuji getting fidgety at the fact that you hadn’t responded in 15 seconds.
“y-you don’t have to say y—“ he began.
”yes, yuji. i’d be more than happy to go out with you tomorrow morning,” you grinned, feeling giddy enough to swing your arms around his neck, his arms immediately wrapping around your waist and hoisting you up, both your laughs echoing through the mostly empty streets.
yuji took the initiative to just continue walking, letting your legs dangle down and your boots brush his legs. your peals of laughter rang into his ear when he’d turn his head and press a kiss to your cheek. your high states caused you both to not really overthink the fact that you were both acting like a couple, on your first meeting.
yuji eventually stopped in front of a mustang gt, the clearly maintained state impressing you, along with the entire look of the car.
”woah, that’s a mustang gt! i don’t know too much, but is that a 350r? if it is, how the hell do you have one of those?” you spoke quickly, yuji letting you slide down and out of his arms to inspect the car, the cerulean color uniquely yuji.
the pink haired boy looked at you impressively before responding, “you won’t even believe it. fushiguro and i’s coach got it for me. we’re definitely his favorites.”
”hey, so suddenly i can hit a home run. sure you don’t need another teammate?” you asked jokingly, running your hand over the hood. “this can be like my cop car. this officer isn’t hiding in a ford explorer.”
yuji was suddenly aware of his raging boner, the muscle clearly brought back to life by the fact that you were even better than he ever could’ve imagined, that much evident by your knowledge of his car. you were turned away from him, almost bent over the hood, allowing yuji a clear view of your plump ass. you turned your head back at the both perfect and worst moment, catching his gaze lasered at your ass. it made a flirty smile form on your face, your hand reaching back and out towards him.
”come here, baby,” you spoke sweetly and softly, yuji’s lips parting as he immediately walked close to you and grabbed your smaller hand. he didn’t press himself to your ass right away, looking at your eyes beforehand to see you nod, then fully pressing his erection against your behind. you could feel his cock’s outline faintly on your center, lightly moaning at the feeling. you were still looking up at yuji from your place below, watching as his lips opened in an ‘o’ when he used your joined hands and his other hand to grip your hips roughly, his cock finally feeling relief again as he ground against you.
you were hypnotized by how he was clearly completely focused on you, his eyes never once leaving the way you were pushing back against him, your ass moving as he began lightly thrusting against you. you couldn’t help but let out a small whimper of his name, his eyes snapping up to meet yours before he said,
”let’s get in the back of your cop car, officer.”
you didn’t hesitate for a moment, turning around and reaching up to grip his broad shoulders, pulling him down to meet your awaiting mouth. yuji instantly reciprocated, one of his hands wrapping around your middle, yanking you firmly against his front, meanwhile his other hand slid through your hair to clutch the back of your head. the kiss was heated from the start, heads slanted opposite ways as you quickly moved your lips against his, the only noise heard being the smacking and soft gasps that were let out during the millisecond you’d separate briefly.
yuji was completely distracted, forgetting that he was supposed to unlock the car. when his mind cleared a smidge and he realized, he pulled his head back, the hand tangled in your hair slipping out to reach into his back pocket quickly. your lips followed, letting out a small whine at the disconnect. yuji felt a little pang in his chest at the noise, not resisting the urge to lean in and peck your lips sweetly, pressing the button on his key fob as he did so. a soft click of the lock alerted you both, yuji pulling back and pulling open the door, folding the coupe’s seat down, stepping aside to let you climb into the back. when your ass was bent over, yuji couldn’t resist the urge to give it a quick smack, his cock speaking for him.
you yelped, practically throwing yourself the rest of the way into the car, yuji laughing as he tried to make himself small and climb in after you. he managed to get in, sitting and leaning back against the seat after shutting the door and basking you both in darkness. the tension was suddenly thick enough to cut through, the anticipation of what was about to happen was at its crescendo.
“are you still sure you want to do this, angel? you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to—“
you interrupted him by climbing into his lap, thanking the creator of the car for making the seats low enough that you were comfortable on top. yuji’s hands immediately shot out to grip your hips, helping you stabilize yourself. when you were finally situated, you spoke,
”i want you to fuck me so bad, yuji.”
not needing to hear anything else, yuji pulled you in to meet his lips by the back of your head, your hands shooting out to run through his pink locks. the hair was soft to the touch, irresistible to pull especially once yuji began rocking you back and forth on his hardened cock. you couldn’t keep your lips locked once you felt the perfect drag against your bud, your head tilting back to let out a small moan. yuji’s lips trailed down to your neck, going down your throat and landing on the swell of your breasts.
he paused before speaking, “you don’t know how much i've dreamed about these perfect tits, pretty girl.”
he carefully nipped small bites onto your boobs, immediately soothing them with his tongue. when he finally reached the fabric that was covering your nipples, yuji wrapped his lips around the front of the costume, right where your nipple was poking through from how aroused you were, and began sucking firmly. you let out a loader moan both at the feeling and his words, rocking your hips down harder.
“harder, yuji! what else did you dream about, baby?”
he involuntarily moaned against the wet fabric, turned on at the thought of you wanting to hear about his fantasies.
“i thought about how soft you’d be, so fucking precious,” he spoke as his hands tugged at the fabric covering your boobs, releasing your bare breasts from their confinement. yuji continued, “dreamt about sucking hickies on these titties, making sure you’d see them the next morning.”
he suddenly pulled your nipple into his mouth, sucking hard and biting down for a second. you leaned back slightly, crushing his face into your boobs. yuji leaned forward, bringing his hand up to grip your other breast, squeezing it roughly. your pants and whines filled the car, the air becoming warmer with each passing moment. you felt like you could finish at any moment.
his lips gave the same treatment to your other breast before beginning to suck small hickes onto the swell of your boobs, sucking bigger ones onto your underboob. as if he could tell you were close and needed an extra push, his hands reached down between your thighs. you felt his hands grab your hips, his thumbs slipping under the fabric covering your center. the digits went under your underwear, reaching your lips and spreading them open, allowing your pussy to clearly rub against him, your clit dragging freely. he was moving you fast on him.
”yu-yuji! don’t stop, i’m gonna—“ you whined out, stopping when yuji’s teeth pulled your nipple roughly, triggering your climax.
you let out a long, loud moan, yuji taking that as a sign to buck his hips up, his own release catching him off guard. he had been so focused on bringing you to your peak that he hadn’t realized just how close he had gotten. he groaned loudly as possible with your nipple in his mouth, his eyebrows furrowing meanwhile his hands were dragging you against him at the speed of light, dragging out your orgasms. your dulcet sounds were music to yuji’s ears, relishing in the whimpers you let out when the overstimulation kicked in. he kept his hands on your inner thighs as he stopped the movement, looking up to see you peering down at him, panting to catch your breath, your eyelashes fluttering.
when your eyes met, you gave him a small, exhausted smile. yuji was sure his face was red as a beet, considering that he just came in his pants like a teenager.
“i’m so sorry, you just felt too good and—“
”what else did you dream about, baby?” you panted softly, the hormone monster in you rearing again when you felt the wet patch under you as you finished. making your ideal man cum in his pants without touching you was like a wet dream for you.
yuji stared at you dumbfounded. he was shocked that you looked turned on at his embarrassing moment. not one to question it, he immediately revealed, “i thought about you riding me. i wanna hear it clap while i suck your titties again.”
you quickly tugged yuji’s tank top up, taking the opportunity to unzip the front of your costume and slip it off your shoulders while the shirt went over his eyes. when he opened then and saw your top bare, he swiftly pulled his orange trousers down, waiting to help you slip off the bottom of your costume and leaving you in a pretty, black lace thong.
“fuck,” yuji breathed out, his palm coming down to rub your clit through your panties. you nearly fell forward at the feeling, knees almost giving out. you reached down to tug at his boxers, yuji easily letting you slide them down his thighs. his cock bounced out and softly hit his stomach, the girth and length making you clench around nothing. he was slightly curved, his pink tip leaking more pre-cum, dripping down into the mess he had already made which was adorning his veiny length.
“please, yuji. fuck me like you did in your fantasy,” you breathed out, grabbing the hand that was dragging against your pussy to guide his fingers into your soaked thong, pulling it to the side together.
“perfect; you’re a dream, angel,” yuji’s voice shook a little as he spoke, guiding you to slowly sink down his tip. you both gasped in sync at the intrusion. the stretch burned slightly, but the feeling of being full was overpowering, causing you to sink down further. both of you were panting now, yuji’s hands rubbing up and down your sides to encourage you, your hands gripping his defined deltoids. you eventually sunk all the way down, both of you letting out a loud moan at the feeling. his curved dick was rubbing all the perfect spots, the desperation to feel him drag in and out of you taking over as you raised yourself up on your knees and sank back down slowly.
yuji’s head was thrown back against the seat, his eyes clenched shut as he tried not to finish too quickly again. he kept his hands on your sides, letting you set the first pace. you slowly dragged yourself up and down until you set a fast rhythm, your hips slamming down on his cock, the loud smacking noise echoing in the car, along with your whines and his heavy breathing.
“oh fuck, you’re so big, yuji! hitting so deep,” you tangled your hands in his hair again, using it as leverage. yuji took the initiative to drag his hands over your asscheeks, spreading them slightly as he gripped them and began moving you down onto his length in combination with you. the change made you throw your head back, letting out a longer moan.
”you like it rough, don’t you, angel?” he smirked, gripping your ass harder and bouncing you faster on his lap. he was jerking his hips up into you with each drag down his dick, your wetness dripping down his shaft all the way to his balls, most likely soaking the seat as well. you were absolutely gripping him to death, his cock feeling like it was made for your wet canal. nobody had ever made yuji feel this way before, not even close. you really did resemble an angel, your glistening tits bouncing in his face, your soft skin under his fingertips, your hair cascading down your back as you moaned his favorite song. his mind was running rampant with the various positions he wanted to take you in.
“yes, harder yuji!” you pleaded, feeling his veins drag against your walls. the stimulation was driving you insane, knowing your next orgasm was approaching.
before he took action, he gripped your thong and tore it off of you, the ripping of the fabric causing you to gasp his name. his display of raw strength caused you to pulse around him.
you had no time to think before yuji leaned forward and leaned you back, his hands planted firmly on your hips to keep you on his lap. his dick was big enough that you were able to arch your back and let out a small scream at the change in angle, signaling to yuji that you were absolutely loving this new angle. your hands in his hair tugged him towards you, burying his face in your chest. yuji immediately shook his head side to side, letting your boobs smother him before he took a sensitive nipple into his mouth, sucking perfectly hard.
you didn’t think there was anything yuji could do that would make you feel better than you did in that moment. that was until he leaned a bit more forward, using his large hand and thumb positioning to again spread your pussy open, your sticky clit now dragging against the light pink happy train adorning his lower stomach. you almost felt guilty from how euphoric you felt. small spurts of liquid left your body, the squelching noise obscene along with your moans tuning in and out, ranging from high pitched to silent, overwhelmed by the pleasure.
“fuck—you’re squirting, baby. i can feel you gripping me so tight, i know you want to cum. take whatever you need, pretty girl,” yuji groaned out, feeling his release rapidly approaching. once he saw you lightly squirt and wet his lower abs and balls, he knew he didn’t have much time left.
you maneuvered your legs up from their kneeling position, instead pressing your bent legs to the sides of his abdomen. your shins were now pressing into the backseat yuji was leaning on. you could feel yuji hitting you straight on, his pretty tip hitting against your g-spot. combined with the continuous drag of yuji’s lower abdomen dragging against your puffy clit, and the way you yanked his lips onto yours to messily make out, mostly just moaning against each other’s mouths, you were pushed over the edge.
”yuji, don’t stop!” you screamed against his lips after speaking, your back bowing and arching into yuji’s bare chest, his arms coming up to wrap high around your back, pistoning his cock into your squirting pussy, the wetness soaking his seats. he didn’t give a shit. his only mission was to make sure you had the best orgasm of your life. fucking you through your high, he kissed your open mouth all over, trailing kisses all over your face.
he held himself back a couple of seconds to reach his hand down and press against you clit firmly, his mouth coming down hard onto your own. when you felt his thumb on your clit, you let out another high pitched moan of his name, unknowingly finishing for a third time. this time, as you absolutely soaked yuji’s interior, he shot his milky cum into you, filling you up into your deepest crevices. the warmth filling your stomach and your intense grip enhanced your orgasms, both of you just holding each other’s mouths together, letting any and all noises escape. yuji felt like he was floating, his legs slightly losing feeling at the pleasure. he came for a long time, the drip of your mixture leaking out of your fluttering pussy making his half-hard cock twitch again.
yuji’s arms along with your hips came to a complete stop, the both of you clutching each other closely, trying to savor the moment. when you finally came to your senses, you saw yuji staring at you intensely already.
you were laying in his bed, your nintendo switch in hand as you fussed with the mii’s on your island.
yuji was beside you, his head resting on your chest. he was watching you play as he slowly began to drift to sleep.
until suddenly,
“what the hell is wrong with you?”
you mutter, making him raise his head.
“…huh?” he blinked blearily, expression concerned as he looked up at you.
“my mii has had a crush on you for like, a week, and you won’t like her back. you rejected her. what’s your problem?” you reply, not even taking your eyes off the screen. your brows were furrowed as you looked down at the little pixel characters.
your mii had confessed to yuji’s for the second time, and he had rejected you again. you were beginning to get frustrated.
“i did what?” yuji’s expression began to match yours. he gently took your switch out of yours hands and looked down at the bright screen with narrowed eyes.
“oh my god. you look so cute here, baby. how did you make yourself so accurate?” his eyes softened, and he glanced up at you with a smile.
“clearly your mii doesn’t think so..” you reply under your breath, rolling your eyes and glancing to the side.
he sighed. anything that was making his girlfriend unhappy would have to be dealt with immediately.
“just a minute, baby.” he muttered, brows furrowing in focus as he locked in on tomodachi life.
-
half an hour later, you were practically asleep, when yuji handed you back your switch.
“here. fixed it.” he said with a soft smile.
when you took the device, you saw that you and yuji had become sweethearts. your expression brightened instantly.
“babe!! how did you do it?” you exclaimed happily, leaning down and peppering kisses to his face.
“just had to talk some sense into him. y’know, man to man.” he replied, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face back in your chest, yawning.
“mm. i love you.” you murmur, pressing one final kiss to the top of his head.
“i love you too. and her.” he said, nudging his head towards your mii on the screen.
||a/n: ahhh i still love tomodachi life idc if people think it’s getting boring
reqs are open & i need inspo so pls hit my line if u got any ideas 🥹📲
18+ Yuji has a hard time understanding he isn't like most people when it comes to sex.
cw: overstimulation, soreness from prior sex, consensual sex while sore, grinding, lap riding/couch sex, nipple play, breast squeezing, dirty talk, begging, light dominance, multiple orgasms, creampie.
note: I thought about this in the morning. Btw maybe I’ll post some Tokyo Revenger smut since the new season is coming out and i've been waiting for thissss.
Yuji has a hard time understanding he isn’t like most people. He knows he’s stronger, faster, and tougher than pretty much anyone else his age, but the full extent of how his body works—especially when it comes to sex—still confuses him sometimes. He just assumes everyone gets this horny every single day. That the urge to bury himself inside you hits him like clockwork the moment he wakes up, the moment he sees you stretching, the moment you walk past him in nothing but his oversized shirt. He doesn’t get tired. He doesn’t get soft for long. He can fuck for hours, cum, and be ready again minutes later, over and over, like his body was built for it.
And he loves it. He loves you. He loves how you feel around him, how you sound when you cum, how your body trembles and clenches when he keeps going even after you’ve already fallen apart.
The morning after he’d railed you for nearly three straight hours the night before, you were a wreck. Your thighs burned, your core ached deep inside, and every step sent a sore, tender throb through your pussy. You’d cum—five, six, maybe more times—until your voice had gone hoarse and your legs were shaking. Yuji had carried you to bed afterward, kissing your sweaty forehead and murmuring how perfect you were, how much he loved making you feel good.
You barely made it two steps out of the bedroom before strong arms wrapped around your waist from behind.
“Morning,” Yuji mumbled against your neck, voice still raspy with sleep but already thick with want. He pulled you backward toward the couch, spinning you gently so you faced him before dropping down onto the cushions and tugging you straight onto his lap.
The second your weight settled over him, straddling his thighs, you felt it—his cock twitching beneath the thin fabric of his boxers, already swelling rapidly against your sore, covered pussy.
Your eyes widened. “Yuji… seriously?”
He blinked up at you with that bright, innocent smile, like he genuinely didn’t understand why you were surprised. His hands slid under the hem of your shirt cupping your bare tits immediately, thumbs brushing over your sensitive nipples. They hardened instantly under his touch.
“What? I woke up and you weren’t there,” he said, squeezing gently, rolling your nipples between his fingers until you whimpered. “Missed you. Missed this.” He rocked his hips up, grinding his now fully hard cock against you. The thick length pressed right against your swollen clit through the thin layers of fabric, making your pussy clench involuntarily.
You braced your hands on his shoulders, breathing shakily. “Baby… I’m so fucking sore. You fucked me for so long last night. I can barely walk straight. How are you already this hard?”
Yuji tilted his head, those big brown eyes going soft and puppy-like, full of genuine confusion and desperate need. “I just am. I always want you. Every day. All the time.” He leaned in, kissing your collarbone, then lower, sucking lightly on the side of your breast. “If you let me, I’d fuck you every single morning and every single night and I’d still never get tired. I don’t know why other guys say they need breaks. I could stay inside you all day and still want more.”
His words sent a fresh wave of heat through you despite the ache between your legs. You whimpered as he pinched both nipples at once, tugging them just hard enough to make your back arch.
“Yuji… I’m serious. I’m really sore,” you protested weakly, even as your hips twitched against his grinding cock.
He looked up at you with those devastating puppy eyes, lips slightly parted, cheeks flushed. “Please? Just a little? I’ll be gentle. I promise. I just… I need to feel you. You feel so good. Warmer and tighter and wetter than anything. I can’t stop thinking about it.”
You tried to stay strong. You really did. But those eyes—those sweet, hungry, loving eyes—destroyed your resolve every single time.
“…Fine,” you whispered, already reaching down to tug his boxers down. His cock sprang free, thick, flushed dark, and rock hard, the tip glistening with precum. “But you have to be careful. I’m really tender.”
Yuji’s face lit up like you’d just handed him the world. “Thank you, baby. I love you so much.” He kissed you deeply, tongue sliding against yours as he pulled your panties to the side. He lined up his fat cockhead with your sore, puffy entrance and slowly pushed in.
You gasped sharply into his mouth as he stretched you open again. Even though you were still slick from the night before and your own growing arousal, the soreness made every inch feel overwhelming. He was so thick, so long, filling you completely in one slow, steady thrust until his hips were flush against yours.
“Fuuuck,” Yuji groaned, head falling back against the couch, eyes half-lidded in bliss. “You’re so tight… even after last night. Fuck babe...” His hands gripped your hips, holding you down on his cock as he savored the feeling. “So warm. So perfect.”
You were panting already, nails digging into his shoulders. “Yuji—ahh—it hurts a little… fuck, you’re so deep.”
“I know, I know,” he cooed, kissing your neck, your jaw, your lips. “I’ll make it feel good. I always do.” He started moving—slow, deep rolls of his hips that dragged his cock along every sensitive spot inside you. The wet, obscene sound of your joined bodies filled the living room as he gradually picked up the pace.
Within minutes you were moaning loudly, overstimulated and sore but unable to stop the pleasure from building. Every thrust sent sparks through your raw nerves. Your clit rubbed against his pelvis with every downward grind, and Yuji’s hands were everywhere—squeezing your ass, pinching your nipples, gripping your waist to bounce you on his cock harder.
“You’re getting wetter,” he panted happily, eyes locked on where his thick shaft disappeared inside you. “Even though you’re sore, your pussy still wants me. Look at you taking me so well. My perfect girl.”
“Yuji—slow down—ahhn—I’m gonna cum already,” you cried, thighs shaking around him.
“Good. Cum for me. I love when you cum on my cock.” He thrust up harder, hitting that perfect spot over and over until your vision whited out. Your orgasm crashed through you, walls clamping down around his relentless dick as you trembled and gushed around him.
But Yuji didn’t stop. He kept fucking you through it, then past it, chasing another one. His stamina was insane—sweat beading on his forehead, muscles flexing, but his cock stayed rock hard, pounding into your overstimulated cunt without mercy.
“Again,” he growled softly, voice husky. “Cum again for me, baby. I can feel how much you need it.”
You were shaking, tears of overwhelming pleasure pricking your eyes as he railed you like a sex doll on the couch. Your sore pussy fluttered helplessly around him, every thrust sending you higher into overstimulation. He flipped you onto your back on the cushions without pulling out, hooking your legs over his shoulders and driving even deeper.
“Fuck—Yuji—too much—!” you sobbed, but your hips still lifted to meet his thrusts.
“You’re so cute when you’re all fucked out,” he murmured, kissing your tear-streaked cheek as he rutted into you. “I could do this forever. I love you like this. All mine. Taking my cock so deep.”
He made you cum two more times before he finally groaned long and low, burying himself to the hilt and flooding your aching pussy with thick ropes of cum. But even then, he stayed hard inside you, grinding lazily through the aftershocks.
“Round two?” he asked breathlessly, that bright, grin returning as he looked down at your blissed-out, ruined expression. His cock twitched eagerly inside your cum-filled cunt.
You could only whimper and nod weakly, already knowing you’d let him fuck you as many times as he wanted.
Bf! Itadori who hears that couples are supposed to have spontaneous movie-like moments, so he tries to recreate one by spinning you around during a hug. Neither of you account for his terrible footing on wet pavement. You both end up sitting on the sidewalk laughing so hard you can’t breathe while strangers side eye as they pass by.
Bf! Itadori who tries to surprise you with a romantic forehead kiss after seeing it in the shoujo manga you like to read. He misjudges the distance, bumps foreheads with you instead, then spends the next ten minutes apologizing while you’re laughing too hard to answer.
Bf! Itadori who lets you dye his hair whatever color you just got at the salon. Black? Done. Blue? Sure. Soft lavender because you “saw it on Pinterest”? He’s already sitting on the bathroom floor with a towel around his shoulders and a wide smile on his face.
Bf! Itadori who will always bring an extra scarf with him when it’s chilly outside wherever he goes so he can wrap it around you when you're cold.
Bf! Itadori who buys the absolute ugliest, most aggressively loud matching pajamas you’ve ever seen, acting like he’s scored you both the height of romance. Convinces you to wear ‘em, then later he’s posting it on his Instagram close friends. The next day, Nobara and Megumi don’t let either of you breathe—nonstop clowning. Yuji grins like he’d do it all over again.
Bf! Itadori who screenshots every new selfie you post on your story ‘n quietly sets it as his wallpaper on everything he owns—his phone, laptop, iPad, even his console. He can’t help it, you’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.
Bf! Itadori who sneaks his cold hands under your shirt just to mess with you, cheekily grinning as you jolt away like you’ve been startled out of your skin.
Bf! Itadori who keeps making you playlists, each one with an overly cheesy title, filling them with songs he swears “sound like you” or remind him of random moments you two shared. Gets overly giddy when you actually take time out of your busy day to listen to them.
Bf! Itadori who always ends up curled up against your chest when he’s sleepy, insisting the steady rhythm of your heartbeat is the easiest way for him to relax and drift off.
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imagine doing that tiktok trend with yuji where you set your phone up, run as fast as you can like your life depends on it, and see how long it takes for your boyfriend to catch you.
and when you explain it to him he just shrugs with a gentle little smile and says, “sure, babe. sounds fun.” because your sweet boy would do anything you ask him to.
so with your phone propped up, you quickly hit the record button, then break into a sprint while yuji waits with his hands in his pockets, watching you closely and counting to ten like you told him to.
and you keep count in your head, too. to make sure he’s not cheating of course.
but it’s something about seeing you run from him that entices him in a way he doesn’t expect. makes a delicious anticipation bubble inside him, makes his jaw clench. his lips take to a smirk once he realizes that’s what you wanted, and then he takes a breath.
“ten.”
he takes off immediately, a little dirt kicked up in his absence from how powerfully his foot launched him into motion.
and you’re a mess of giggles as you run, heart beating against your ribcage because you know it won’t be long. you don’t bother looking back, you know you can’t outrun him.
you haven’t even blinked twice when a pair of strong arms snake themselves around your middle and he’s got you caged in the air with a low grunt, your backside pressed against his chest, feet kicking and flailing as you squeal between laughter for him to let you go. his hold only tightens further, biceps flexing with a little more effort when you squirm. his hands are locked on his forearms that bind you to him, ensuring you won’t be going anywhere.
you can feel the rapid thumping of his heartbeat, the heat of his body and it makes you pull your bottom lip under your teeth. there’s no need to wonder if this excited him as much as it did you, because you can feel it.
it’s exhilarating, to say the least. you’re completely out of breath, and just as you expected, he’d barely even made an effort.
the sharp of yuji’s canines gently nip at the shell of your ear to make your breath catch in that way he likes, his voice low and smoldering, yet sending a shiver down your spine when he whispers,
ᢉ𐭩 𝔂uji gets too rough sometimes :( ib: gojosconsort (my shayla)
" yuu! — you can't do that..! "
your loud whine caught his attention, his grip on your waist loosening but his thumbs still dug little dents into your back. his thrusting ceased, so did his movements of pulling you back onto his dick. he sat there, stunned with his hair pushed out his face and skin luster with sweat. " baby? you okay? you need a break? "
" yeah.. " you panted, your chest heaving into the mattress. " you just — can't be all rough like that... you know how big you are... "
you weren't even talking about solely his dick — yuji was big as a whole. big, and full of stamina and strength for days. it was scarily superhuman, just built for putting you through mattresses and draining you down to a drip. it was so unfair, like the system was rigged against you.
he flipped you over to kiss your face — cheeks, eyelids, jaw, temples, everywhere. he was really just a gentle giant. and the fact he was still growing. " i'm sorry.. i thought you could handle me like that. i'll be more gentle.. " he seemed like he was sulking — partially sorry for what he did, but also solemn he couldn't continue like that.
he hummed softly in your neck, grinding his dick along your walls in slow, shallow motions, all the while rubbing your clit gently. he was trying to coax you to forgive him. you swallowed, your eyes fluttering open and closed at the sensation. " i can handle you. "
he looked up from your neck, his bottom lip protruding. " you sure? you'll tell me the next time it gets too much, right? i'll be careful... i promise. pinky promise. you can starve me a whole day without kisses if you want. "
" don't be dramatic... " you kissed his lips weakly. " i can handle you. "
he smiled, pressing another kiss to your lips. his thanks came in the form of his thrusts increasing — both pace and depth with grunts through his bitten bottom lip. he was more gentle about it, more considerate of your body. he still rubbed, petted your clit — just to be a little mean and greedy about it. your name slipped as he approached his limit, from groans to whimpers and prayers about how good you make him feel.
it might've cost you a couple hours — hell, days worth of mobility. but he was too cute to deny.
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Series Summary: After Bucky cheats on you, you leave the Tower shattered, humiliated, and convinced that love has only ever made you smaller. Steve comes back from a mission to find you gone - and when he learns the truth, his loyalty is tested in ways he never expected.
Wordcount: 9.1 k
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female reader
Warnings: tower fic, alternative mcu, slow burn, healing arc, hurt comfort, emotional hurt comfort, angst with comfort, infidelity angst, second chance at love, cheating / infidelity, emotional betrayal, toxic ex relationship, Bucky Barnes is OOC, forced kiss, non con elements (very light), boundary violation, sexual assault implications, emotional manipulation, jealousy and possessiveness, panic attacks / panic response, vomiting due to distress, STI scare / medical testing mention, violence / physical fight, blood mention, breakup grief, trauma recovery, found family, protective steve rogers, soft steve rogers, toxic bucky barnes, self-worth issues, mentions of emotionally abusive family dynamics, reader has a difficult childhood, happy ending, MDNI, some chapters will have smut or explicit intimacy
Important note about Bucky: Bucky is very OOC in this fic. I want to be very clear about that from the start: I know he is OOC, I know canon Bucky would not act like this, and I am not presenting this as my interpretation of canon Bucky Barnes.
This story uses him in a deliberately darker, more toxic role for the sake of the angst, conflict, and Reader’s healing arc. So please, before sending me an ask or leaving a comment to tell me that Bucky would never behave this way: I know. That is what this warning is for.
I will not be replying to complaints about Bucky being written OOC. You have been warned, and if this version of him is not something you want to read, please feel free to skip this fic.
A/N: I'll be honest, if this part gets a ton of engagement, I'll really consider posting two parts per week coming next week. Beta read by Cassie as always.
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“If I had fewer principles,” you murmured, “I think I would’ve tried to sleep with you tonight. Just to hurt him.”
For a moment after that, Steve thought he had misheard you.
Not because the words were unclear. They were quiet, yes, worn thin by crying and rum and exhaustion, but clear enough. They slipped out against his shirt in that small, stripped voice of yours and settled between you with a weight far heavier than their volume.
Steve went absolutely still.
The hand on your back did not stop moving – not at first, because stopping would have made the moment harder, sharper, more visible than he wanted it to be. But something in him seized all the same. His throat tightened so suddenly it almost hurt. His chest felt too small around the breath he took.
Not because the thought itself tempted him.
That was the first thing he knew with certainty.
Not because some ugly part of him felt satisfaction at being named in the fantasy of retaliation.
It didn’t.
If anything, the sentence struck him like another form of grief – evidence of how far the night had dragged you from yourself, from whatever steadier ground you usually occupied. It told him how angry you were, how humiliated, how exhausted by the sheer uselessness of your own pain. That was what he heard first. Not invitation. Not possibility. Just hurt sharpened into the shape of a weapon and then set down again before you even fully lifted it.
Still, Steve was only human, and he could not pretend the words passed through him without consequence.
He swallowed once and said, quieter than he intended, “You’re drunk.”
It was not an accusation. Barely even a correction. More like something he reached for because it was easier than saying what else had flashed through him in the instant after your confession: the hot, immediate refusal of the idea; the anger at Bucky for having reduced the night to this kind of thought at all; and beneath both, the deep unsettling ache of knowing that even now, when you were raw and hurting and not wholly steady, part of you trusted him enough to speak the ugliest truth in your head aloud.
You gave a faint sound that might have been irritation.
“No. No, I know my limits. I’m not.”
Steve believed you.
Or rather, he believed that you meant it exactly as you said. You had been drinking, yes. Enough for your balance to go soft, enough for your words to blur at the corners. But not enough to become someone else. Not enough to turn your thoughts foreign to you. If anything, the alcohol had only worn down the barriers between feeling and speech.
You were not saying this because the rum had invented it.
You were saying it because you were too tired to hide it.
Silence followed.
Steve felt it like another presence in the room. Not awkward, not quite, but charged in a fragile way. He became acutely aware of everything all at once: your weight against him, the warmth of your body in his arms, the dampness still drying on his shirt from your tears, the low lamp light pooling across the floor, the bottle sitting abandoned a few feet away, the faint city noise behind the windows.
He did not know where to put his eyes, so he kept them on the wall beyond your shoulder and let his hand continue its slow path up and down your back.
Then you spoke again, and this time the words came softer. No edge left in them. No provocation. Only truth, plain and almost childishly simple.
“I’m just… tired, Steve.”
That undid something in him.
Because yes. Of course you were.
Tired of the crying, tired of the anger, tired of being asked to survive a day you had not chosen, tired of thinking, tired of feeling humiliated, tired of wanting things that no longer existed in the shape you wanted them, tired of holding yourself together for one more hour and one more conversation and one more wave of hurt.
Steve understood that kind of tiredness far too well.
Not the same story, never the same story, but the same bone-deep exhaustion that turned every emotion into weight. The kind that made sleeping seem less like rest and more like surrender, and yet left a person desperate for it all the same.
He shifted slightly – not enough to dislodge you, only enough to look down a little more fully at the top of your head.
“Do you want to try lying down?” he asked.
He kept his voice low, careful not to make it sound like dismissal. Not you should go to bed now in the way people said when they wanted grief tidied away. Just an offer. A possibility. A gentler surface than the floor.
You did not answer right away.
Instead you tilted your face just enough that your voice reached him less muffled than before.
“You’ll stay with me?”
The question came so quickly after the last one that Steve knew it had been waiting there already, underneath everything else.
He did not hesitate.
“Yes.”
A beat passed.
“Promise?”
That word entered him differently.
Smaller than the others. Softer. And for that reason maybe the hardest to hear.
He closed his eyes briefly.
You had already asked for truth once tonight and taken it like a lifeline. Now you asked for something even more fragile: certainty. The simple assurance that he would not get you on your feet, guide you to the bedroom, settle you under a blanket, and then disappear once you were horizontal and quiet enough to be left alone with the rest of your thoughts.
Steve understood that fear too.
Not because he would ever have done it. Because he knew why you needed to hear the opposite spoken aloud.
“Promise,” he said.
He felt the slightest slackening in your body then, the small involuntary release of somebody whose mind had been braced for abandonment and, for the moment, no longer had to be.
Steve waited another second before moving. “Okay,” he murmured. “Come on.”
He loosened his hold carefully, one arm sliding from around your shoulders so he could rise without dropping you. The second the support changed, your fingers caught at his sleeve on instinct.
“I’m here,” he said at once.
Only then did he push himself to his feet.
He stood and turned back toward you immediately, offering both hands. You looked up at him with eyes still swollen and lashes clumped from tears, and for a second he had the absurd thought that no one should have been allowed to hurt you on a day when you looked this defenseless. It was an unhelpful thought. A useless one. He pushed it aside.
You put your hands in his.
He pulled you gently upward.
You came to your feet in stages, unsteady not just from the alcohol but from the sheer physical aftermath of crying. Your legs wavered beneath you almost at once. Steve stepped in without thinking, catching you by the elbows first and then more firmly by the waist when your balance tilted too far forward.
You made an irritated little sound, half at yourself, half at the betrayal of your own body.
“Easy,” he said.
“I’m fine.”
The automatic answer was so familiar that if the situation had been different it might have almost made him smile.
Instead he only said, very mildly, “No, you’re not.”
You huffed a breath through your nose, but you did not argue harder than that.
The bedroom was only a few steps away, yet Steve moved as if crossing something longer and more dangerous. Not because the apartment required caution. Because you did. Because the moment did. His hand stayed at your back while the other steadied your forearm, and he felt every tiny correction your body made to stay upright. Every sway. Every pause. Every second where you leaned into his support just a fraction more than before.
He did not mention it.
At the bedroom doorway he stopped.
The room was bare in the particular way safehouses always were. A neatly made bed. One lamp on the side table. Curtains half drawn. A dresser with nothing personal on it. A chair in the corner. Stark’s idea of comfort stripped down to functionality. It looked impersonal enough that Steve’s chest tightened again at the thought of you spending the night here alone if he had not come.
You looked at the bed and then, unexpectedly, back at him with something almost like reluctance.
Steve understood at once.
“You want me to stay close,” he said softly.
It was not really a question.
Your mouth tightened. You looked away, embarrassed maybe, or simply too tired to hide the truth elegantly.
“I don’t…” You swallowed. “I don’t really want to sleep by myself tonight.”
The honesty of it felt intimate in a way far more dangerous than your earlier remark about revenge. Because this was not about anger. Not about making anyone pay. This was need in its simplest form.
Steve nodded as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.
“Okay.”
You searched his face again, perhaps for pity, perhaps for judgment, perhaps for that tiny recoil people sometimes failed to hide when confronted with another person’s dependence.
He gave you none of it.
Instead he asked, practical because practical was gentler, “Do you want under the blankets or on top?”
That seemed to help. The question gave you something small and manageable to answer.
“Under.”
“Alright.”
He moved to pull the covers back, but before he could do more than turn toward the bed, another thought struck him. He looked at you more closely in the lamplight and asked, “Have you eaten anything today?”
Your expression went blank for half a second in the way people’s expressions did when they genuinely had to search their memory and found nothing useful there.
Then you shook your head once.
“No. Wasn’t hungry.”
Steve exhaled slowly through his nose.
Of course you hadn’t been. Hunger had no place in a day like this until suddenly the body demanded payment for being ignored.
“You need something that isn’t alcohol,” he said.
The words came out firmer than most of what he had said tonight.
You leaned one shoulder against the doorframe and looked at him with all the exhausted stubbornness of a person who had reached the end of her usable strength hours ago. “I’m not hungry now either.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
One corner of your mouth twitched, not with humor but with weary annoyance. “Bossy.”
“Yeah,” Steve said. “A little.”
He stepped closer again when your balance dipped.
“You don’t need a meal. A piece of toast. Crackers. Anything. But you’re not going to bed on an empty stomach after drinking and crying for half the night.”
You closed your eyes briefly, as if even the prospect of chewing sounded like a task someone invented specifically to torment you.
Steve’s expression softened despite himself.
“I know,” he said. “Still.”
You opened your eyes. “You always do that.”
“Do what?”
“Sound patient while actually not giving me a choice.”
This time he did smile, faintly. It barely touched his mouth, gone almost as soon as it appeared. “Eat first,” he said. “Then you can accuse me of tyranny.”
That earned him the smallest real reaction yet – a breath that might have become a laugh in another life, on another night.
It vanished quickly, but he had heard it.
He guided you back toward the living room rather than letting you collapse into bed immediately. You complained under your breath once, too low for him to catch every word, but you came. In the kitchenette he found what he expected: emergency supplies, bland and practical. Bread in the freezer. Crackers in a tin. A jar of peanut butter. Instant soup packets. Bottled water.
He settled for toast and water because it was fastest and least likely to turn your stomach.
While the bread browned, you stood leaning against the counter with your arms folded and your eyes half-lidded, looking like someone only a step away from lying down directly on the kitchen floor if left unattended. Steve opened a bottle of water and pressed it into your hand.
“Drink.”
You obeyed with poor grace, taking a few swallows before muttering, “You’re enjoying this too much.”
“I’m really not.”
That was true. If he was firm, it was because he had no desire to spend the night holding your hair back while your body rebelled against an empty stomach and too much rum on top of too much grief.
He set the toast on a plate and handed it over once it had cooled enough not to burn you.
You looked at it as though it had personally insulted you.
“Steve.”
“You can eat half.”
You stared another moment, then took a reluctant bite.
He watched the way you chewed slowly, more from fatigue than reluctance now, and felt an absurd wave of relief at the simple fact of you swallowing something. It said nothing about healing. Nothing about tomorrow. But it was care, and care sometimes reduced itself to the least glamorous acts in the world – making sure somebody had bread in their stomach before they tried to sleep off heartbreak.
You ate more than half in the end, though the last bites seemed powered entirely by stubbornness and his unwillingness to look away until you finished enough to satisfy him. Then you drank more water. By then your eyes had gone glassy with exhaustion again.
“Done?” he asked.
You nodded.
“Good.”
The bedroom seemed even quieter when he led you back there.
This time, when the bed came into view, you did not hesitate. Steve pulled back the blankets and turned down the lamp to a softer glow. You sat on the edge of the mattress first, then looked up at him with sudden uncertainty that went straight through him.
“You said you’d stay.”
“I did.”
“I don’t want…” You stopped, rubbed at your face once, and started over. “I don’t want you on the chair.”
Steve glanced at the chair in the corner, then back at you.
You looked miserable, embarrassed by the need and too tired to pretend otherwise. There was no seduction in it. No awkward charge beyond the one his own awareness tried and failed to suppress. Only the plain truth that after everything, you did not want distance. Not tonight. Not when sleep would mean losing conscious control for a few hours and trusting the room not to change while you weren’t watching.
He answered just as plainly.
“Okay.”
Your shoulders dropped.
He toed off his boots, set them by the bed, and shrugged out of his jacket. You watched him do it with heavy-lidded concentration, as if reassuring yourself he really meant it. He left his T-shirt and jeans on – there was no question of anything else – and pulled the blanket aside farther so you could climb in first.
You did, slowly, curling onto one side with the boneless caution of someone whose body had finally admitted how exhausted it was.
Steve settled on top of the covers for a moment instead, trying to decide the least intrusive way to keep his promise.
Then you turned your head on the pillow and asked, voice already blurred by sleep and weariness, “Are you coming?”
He hesitated only long enough to move under the blanket rather than over it. He lay down beside you fully clothed, on his back at first, leaving careful space between your body and his.
The mattress dipped.
For maybe two seconds you stayed where you were.
Then, with the complete lack of self-consciousness of someone too tired to invent any, you moved toward him.
Not fast. Not dramatically. Just a slow instinctive shift until your shoulder met his side, until your hand found the fabric of his shirt, until you were close enough that the space he had left no longer existed. Steve went still again, but not because he meant to pull away. Only because the reality of your nearness hit all at once.
You made a tiny sound of relief.
Then, even more quietly, “Can I–”
You did not finish.
You did not need to.
Steve turned onto his side toward you and opened one arm.
That was all the permission you needed.
You came into him immediately, fitting yourself against his chest with none of the hesitation you had shown in words. One arm slid across his middle. Your forehead tucked under his chin. Your knee bumped lightly against his thigh as you settled. It was not graceful, and it was certainly not calculated. It was the movement of someone seeking warmth and safety before their body shut down from sheer depletion.
Steve wrapped his arm around you.
Carefully at first. Then more securely when he felt how hard you pressed in, as if closeness itself was the only thing convincing your nerves that the night had truly changed shape.
There.
He had you.
He could feel your heartbeat through the layers of fabric between you – too fast still, but slowing. Could feel the lingering tremors in your muscles each time your breathing threatened to catch. Could smell the faint trace of rum on your skin, the salt of tears, the ordinary familiar scent of your shampoo underneath.
It nearly hurt, how much tenderness the moment demanded from him.
He kept his hand between your shoulder blades and resumed that slow, absent caress that had steadied you on the floor. Your body answered almost immediately. Tension bled out of you in increments. Your hand, still fisted weakly in his shirt, loosened a little. Your breathing deepened.
“Better?” he murmured.
You nodded against his chest.
“Don’t go anywhere.”
The words were so quiet he almost missed them.
“I won’t,” he said.
You seemed to consider that for a second, then tightened your hold on him by a fraction anyway, as though your body wanted physical proof in addition to verbal promise.
Steve let you.
He would have let you hold on all night if that was what it took.
After a little while you shifted one leg between his, not seductively, not even consciously he thought, only in that blind sleepy way people chased the most stable position when they had finally found somewhere they felt safe enough to rest. The intimacy of it shot through him with humiliating force, and Steve had to close his eyes and breathe carefully once through his nose.
Not because he wanted this to become anything else.
That distinction mattered.
He held onto it with both hands.
You were tired. Hurt. Barely keeping yourself together. You wanted his arms around you because they made the room feel less empty, not because the line between comfort and desire had blurred for you in some meaningful way. Steve knew that. He would keep knowing it. Whatever his body did with the information was his problem, not yours.
So he concentrated on the weight of responsibility instead.
On the fact that you were finally, slowly relaxing.
On the way your breaths had begun to even out, though every so often one still shuddered at the edges. On the trust of being allowed to hold you through that. On the simple practical truth that he had promised to stay and this – this was what staying meant.
Your voice came again, drowsy now, almost drifting.
“Steve?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
The word hit him with absurd force.
He looked down at the top of your head, though he knew you could not see him well in the dimness.
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“I know.” A pause. “Still.”
His hand moved once, lightly, over your hair.
He said nothing after that because there was nothing to say that would not turn too sentimental or too false. Instead he held you and listened as the room grew quieter and your body, inch by inch, surrendered to exhaustion.
Your breathing steadied first.
Then your fingers lost some of their grip on his shirt, though they never let go completely.
Then the little tension at the corner of your mouth eased where it had been set all evening with hurt and anger and pride.
Twice more your body twitched with the aftershock of a nearly remembered sob. Each time Steve tightened his arm around you just enough that, even half asleep, you seemed to settle faster.
He did not think about morning.
Not much.
Morning would bring its own difficulties. Embarrassment perhaps. Headache. Questions. The long, ugly road of what came next. He knew better than to borrow too much from tomorrow while tonight still needed tending.
So he stayed in the dark with you tucked against him, awake long after your breathing finally slipped into the deep soft rhythm of real sleep.
And when, even asleep, you shifted closer instead of away – seeking his warmth with the unquestioning trust of someone whose body had decided for her what it felt safe beside – Steve only tightened his hold the smallest fraction and kept watch while the night moved on around you.
Steve did not remember the exact moment sleep took him.
One minute he had still been awake in the dim hush of the safehouse bedroom, staring past your shoulder into the half-dark and listening to the quiet, steady rhythm of your breathing as it deepened against his chest. The next, the night had folded over him too.
When he woke, morning had already slipped into the room.
Not bright, not cheerful – just a thin grey wash through the curtains, the kind of light that belonged to late mornings after bad nights, when the day had clearly started without asking anyone’s permission. The safehouse bedroom looked flatter in it, more ordinary. The chair in the corner. The rumpled blanket. His jacket tossed over the back of the chair. Your discarded socks on the floor near the bed where you must have half-kicked them off before collapsing.
For one brief second, he did not move.
Your weight was still there.
You lay curled against him almost exactly as you had fallen asleep, one arm tucked between the two of you, your face tilted up just enough that he could see you properly now. You were awake. He knew that before your eyes met his. There was a certain tension in the stillness of you, a held breath under the quiet.
Then he looked at your face and understood something else immediately.
You had a headache.
Your eyes were narrowed against the grey light in that particular way people got when their skull seemed one heartbeat away from splitting open. There was a faint crease between your brows. Your mouth looked dry. Even the way you kept your head very still against the pillow suggested that moving too fast would be a terrible idea.
The sight tugged a tired, helpless kind of sympathy out of him.
You were still watching him.
Not awkwardly. Not even warily, exactly.
Just… closely.
As if waking up and finding him here had answered some question you had still half expected to turn cruel overnight.
Steve stayed where he was, one arm still around your back beneath the blanket. He did not pull away. He did not act startled or hurry to create distance just because daylight had arrived and made everything less forgiving. That felt like a rejection of the trust you had placed in him during the night.
So he only said, quietly, “Morning.”
Your mouth twitched faintly, though it was not quite a smile.
“Morning,” you answered, and your voice came hoarse from sleep, from crying, from the aftertaste of rum and all the things the night had done to you.
Steve searched your face for another second. “You look like your head’s killing you.”
“It is.”
The honesty of that almost made him smile for real.
“Water,” he said. “And probably coffee later. Maybe aspirin if Stark stocked the place like a sane person.”
You made a low sound that could have been agreement.
He was just beginning to wonder whether he should move carefully enough not to jostle you too much and go find what you needed when something changed in your expression.
It happened quickly, but not so quickly that he missed the thought arriving.
Your gaze dropped – briefly – to his mouth.
Then back to his eyes.
He felt the shift in the air before he understood it. A tiny, charged stillness. The kind that came just before a decision.
“Hey,” he began, though he had no idea what he intended to say after that.
You kissed him.
It was not clumsy, though sleep and hangover and the softness of waking lent it a slight uncertainty in the first second. It was also not hesitant in the way he might have expected if you had given yourself time to think. You did not hover there, asking permission with your breath. You closed the distance and pressed your mouth to his with a directness that sent shock clean through him.
For one impossible instant, Steve forgot everything except sensation.
Your lips were warm and a little dry from the night, softer than he had ever allowed himself to imagine with any detail. The angle was awkward because of the way you were half-curled into him, but the very awkwardness of it made it feel devastatingly real. No fantasy ever accounted for the slight drag of morning breath, the warmth trapped beneath blankets, the ache in a shoulder slept on too long, the faint sting of surprise so sharp it bordered on pain.
He tasted salt first.
Then the last trace of rum.
Then simply you.
And because he was not made of stone, because he had wanted this in ways he had never once let himself name aloud, because desire sometimes outran morality by a heartbeat before morality caught it by the throat, he kissed you back.
Instinctively.
Completely.
It lasted no more than a second or two, maybe less. But in that space his body answered before the rest of him could stop it. His hand tightened involuntarily at your back. His mouth softened under yours and then moved with yours, answering the pressure, the warmth, the startling intimacy of waking to find you here and then this. A rush went through him so sudden and fierce he felt it everywhere at once – chest, stomach, throat, the backs of his arms, the pulse jumping hard under his skin.
It was not gentle in the sense of detached caution.
It was gentle because he knew no other way to be with you.
That was what shocked him most.
Not that he wanted it.
That he already knew the shape of how carefully he would.
Then the rest of him caught up.
Steve broke the kiss.
Not violently. Not with any recoil that might have shamed you. He only drew back just far enough that your mouths no longer touched, his breath suddenly far too shallow in the small space between you.
“No,” he said.
The word came rough.
He swallowed and forced more steadiness into it. “No. Not like this.”
The reaction on your face hit him immediately.
It darkened – not with anger first, but with something quieter and more dangerous. Hurt. Embarrassment. The quick closing of someone who had just made themselves vulnerable and gotten pushed away in return. Your eyes shut for a second, and Steve hated himself for putting that look there even though he knew he had done the right thing.
He lifted his hand from your back toward your face, then stopped before touching you, uncertain whether even that would feel like too much right now.
“Not because I didn’t want to,” he said, voice low. Honest. Maybe too honest. “That’s not what I meant.”
Your eyes opened again, but you did not look at him straight away.
Steve forced himself to keep going.
“Not because you’re hurting and reaching for something. Not because of him. Not because of revenge.”
Your gaze flicked back to his then, sharper despite the headache and the sleep still clinging to both of you.
“It’s not revenge,” you said.
There was no slur in your voice this morning. No softening excuse left to hide behind. Only exhaustion and certainty.
Steve frowned slightly. “Then why?”
The question escaped him before he fully meant to ask it.
You stared at him for a long second, and then something in your expression shifted into a tired kind of resolve.
“Because if it were revenge,” you said quietly, “I would’ve done it in front of him.”
That landed with brutal clarity.
Steve felt the truth of it at once. You were not wrong. If you had wanted vengeance in its purest form, humiliation would have been part of it. Spectacle. Witness. The knife twisted where Bucky could see it.
This had not been that.
This had happened here, in the morning hush of a safehouse bedroom, while the world was still reduced to two people under one blanket and the aftermath of a ruined night. No audience. No punishment. No performance.
The realization only made the air between you feel more dangerous.
Steve said nothing.
You went on, and now your voice changed again – softer, but not less direct.
“Because I never said anything.” You wet your lips once, as if the movement itself reminded you of the kiss. Steve had to drag his eyes back to yours. “But I always knew the way you looked at me.”
Steve closed his eyes.
Not dramatically. Not because he meant to shut you out. Simply because that sentence entered him too deeply to meet with his eyes open.
For one brief, unbearable moment he could still feel the kiss in full sensory detail. Your mouth against his. The instinctive answer of his own. The way your breath had mingled with his in the small warm space between you. The ache now left by stopping. It all sat bright and immediate in his body, impossible to dismiss as imagination because it had happened, because he had let it happen for that fatal split second, because no matter how much discipline he possessed he could not unknow the exact feel of your lips on his now.
And over that came your words.
I always knew the way you looked at me.
He wondered, with a kind of exhausted disbelief, whether he had truly been that easy to read all along.
Maybe he had.
Maybe Bucky knew because Bucky knew him too well, had known him too long, had grown up beside him in the narrow old corridors of Brooklyn where every expression became familiar through repetition. Maybe you knew because you were you – because people sometimes saw most clearly the things directed at them, however quietly. Maybe Steve had been less careful than he believed. Or maybe some truths simply refused permanent concealment when they lived in the body long enough. In a look held half a second too long. In a silence that came too swiftly to your defense. In the reflex of watching for your reaction first.
He opened his eyes again.
You were still there. Still close. Still looking at him with none of the confusion he might once have hoped for, because confusion would have made this easier. Instead there was something almost calm in your expression now, despite the pain in it. As if naming the truth had at least removed one layer of uncertainty from the room.
Steve let out a slow breath.
“I tried not to let that matter,” he said at last.
The words came quieter than most of what he said, as if volume itself might damage them.
Your gaze did not leave his face. “I know.”
He almost laughed at that, but there was no humor in him for it. Of course you knew. Apparently you had known far more than he wanted to admit.
“It mattered anyway,” you said.
That was not a question either.
Steve looked at you for a long moment.
Every instinct in him pulled in two directions at once. One toward truth, the other toward restraint. He had spent so long forcing those two things to coexist that sometimes he could no longer tell which one was winning. He wanted – God, he wanted – to answer you plainly, to stop pretending his feelings existed only in the abstract. But he also saw you here, pale with a headache, bruised by heartbreak, still waking inside the emotional wreckage of the day before. Any confession from him now risked becoming entangled with all of that in ways neither of you could undo later.
So he chose the narrowest truth.
“Yes,” he said.
Your face changed.
Not into triumph. Not into relief, exactly. More into something sadder. A recognition, maybe, of how long this silence had lived between all three of you in different forms. Of how many things people could know and never say until the wrong moment dragged them out into daylight.
You shifted back half an inch, enough to give both of you slightly more space without truly leaving his arms.
Steve missed the warmth of your mouth instantly and despised himself for noticing.
His body had not yet caught up to his principles. His pulse still moved too fast. He still felt the ghost of the kiss along every nerve. It would have been easier, in some base physical way, if he had not answered you back at all. If he had gone rigid and cold and turned himself into a wall. But he had kissed you. Briefly, yes. Still enough. And now his own restraint sat inside him like a blade turned inward.
He dragged a hand over his face once.
“You can’t do that because you’re hurting,” he said finally, more to anchor himself than anything else. “And I can’t let you do it because I’ve wanted it.”
The truth of that seemed to thicken the room all over again.
You looked at him steadily. “That wasn’t exactly a no.”
It nearly undid him.
Steve let out one breath that might have become a laugh if things had been even a little less raw. “No,” he said. “It wasn’t.”
The corner of your mouth shifted, faint and tired.
Then the pain in your head must have surged again, because your eyes squeezed shut and your brow furrowed.
Steve seized on the practical distraction at once, grateful for it.
“Okay,” he murmured. “Before we say anything else either of us can’t sort through properly, I’m getting you water and aspirin.”
You opened one eye. “Running away?”
“Temporarily.”
That actually drew the ghost of a smile from you, fleeting but real.
Steve carefully eased himself out from under the blanket before the warmth of the bed and the memory of your mouth on his could persuade him to stay where he had no business staying if he wanted to keep his head clear. The mattress shifted as he sat up. Cool air touched the skin your body had kept warm. He felt the loss of closeness with ridiculous intensity.
He stood and had to steady himself for a second on the edge of the dresser, less from balance than from the sheer physical aftermath of the kiss. His body still hummed with it. The taste of you lingered just enough to be maddening. He pressed his thumb once, hard, into the heel of his palm as if a sharper sensation might discipline the rest of him.
When he turned back, you were watching him again through narrowed eyes, one hand up at your temple now.
The sight reset something in him.
Need first. Always.
He fetched water, found aspirin in the bathroom cabinet, and brought both back. You pushed yourself halfway upright with a wince, took the pills from his hand, and swallowed them obediently.
Then you held the glass a second longer than necessary and said, not looking at him this time, “I meant what I said.”
Steve stood at the side of the bed, quiet.
“I know,” he answered.
Because he did.
That was the trouble.
He believed you.
Not entirely in the shape of what the kiss meant yet – there would be time, or there would not, and he was not going to steal certainty from your vulnerability this morning. But he believed that it had not been revenge. He believed that you had seen him for longer than he understood. He believed that whatever passed between you now existed in its own right and not merely as a weapon against Bucky.
And that knowledge was both terrible and tender.
You set the glass on the side table and leaned your head back against the pillow with your eyes half-closed. “My head’s killing me.”
Steve almost smiled again, softer this time.
“Yeah,” he said. “That part I could tell.”
He sat back down on the edge of the mattress, but not too close. Close enough to stay. Far enough to give the room a little air.
After a second, your fingers reached out blindly and caught the hem of his T-shirt.
Not pulling. Just holding.
Steve looked down at them, then back at you.
You never opened your eyes. “Stay until the aspirin kicks in.”
The request undid the last of his resistance to the simple shape of care.
So he did.
He stayed beside you in the grey morning light, his mouth still remembering yours, his body still full of the shock of that brief instinctive answer, and his heart caught somewhere painful between what he wanted, what you had admitted, and what decency still required of him now.
“Steve?”
Your voice came soft through the dim, aspirin-dulled quiet of the room.
Steve turned his head toward you at once, but he did not answer immediately. He had already learned, in the space of a single night and morning, that you sometimes needed a second just to gather the courage for the question itself. So he waited.
The bed dipped faintly under his weight where he sat on the edge, one forearm resting on his thigh, his other hand loose near your knee on top of the blanket, close enough to reassure, far enough not to crowd. Morning still lay grey beyond the curtains. The safehouse remained hushed around you, stripped down to the small sounds of survival: old pipes in the walls, traffic far below, the faint hum of a refrigerator in the other room.
You kept your eyes closed when you asked, “Am I taking advantage of you?”
The question entered him more deeply than he let show.
For one brief second he simply looked at you.
Your face still bore the fragile evidence of the last twenty-four hours – swollen eyelids, the faint pinched set at the corners of your mouth, the exhausted stillness of somebody who had cried too hard, slept too little, and woken into a reality that had not improved in daylight. Yet the question itself was so painfully, unmistakably you that Steve felt something tight and tender pull through his chest.
Even now.
Even after the drinking, the tears, the kiss, the headache, the humiliation, the rawness of everything.
Even now you were still thinking about his boundaries. His feelings. The possibility of being unfair to him.
He answered immediately, because hesitation would only have hurt you.
“No.”
Your mouth did not move. Your eyes stayed shut.
You did not say thank you. Did not ask him to explain. Did not press.
You simply breathed out, very quietly, and let the answer settle.
Steve watched that tiny release happen in real time. The fraction of tension easing from your brow. The way your fingers, which had still been loosely holding the hem of his shirt from when he sat down beside you again, loosened a little more.
The silence that followed was not empty.
It felt full, but not unpleasantly so. Thoughtful. Weighted by too much still unresolved, and yet no longer sharp in the immediate way it had been earlier. The aspirin had begun to take the edge off your headache; he could tell by the way you no longer winced every time you shifted against the pillow. The worst of the hangover would still be there, but dulled. Your breathing had grown steadier. The room felt less like a place of crisis now and more like a place where consequences had come to rest, at least for the morning.
Minutes passed.
Steve did not count them exactly. He only sat there and let them happen. He glanced once toward the door, already thinking ahead in practical lines because practicality kept him from dwelling too hard on the lingering memory of your mouth on his. He should go back to the Tower. Shower. Change. Report in properly. Make sure Tony knew you needed a new phone. Make sure Bucky stayed the hell away from Brooklyn, if it came to that.
The thought of Bucky made something colder move through him.
He pushed it aside.
Then, with your eyes still closed, you asked, “You got back from the mission yesterday?”
Steve looked at you again.
“Yes.”
You nodded faintly against the pillow.
He could almost see the thought assembling itself behind your face, moving one tired step at a time through chronology. He had returned. He had walked into the Tower and found out you were gone. He had seen Bucky. He had come here. He had stayed. That left all the ordinary parts of his life suspended somewhere just out of frame, waiting to reclaim him the second he stepped back into them.
“You’re going back to the Tower after this.”
It was not phrased as a question.
Steve leaned back slightly in the chair and answered with the same plainness you had used. “Yeah. For a little while.”
You were quiet long enough that he knew there was another question coming.
When it arrived, it came small and almost casual in tone, which only made the vulnerability inside it more obvious.
“If I asked you to come back after, would you?”
Steve did not need to think.
“Yes.”
This time your eyes did open.
You looked at him across the narrow space between bed and chair, and though the morning had softened none of the last day’s damage, something in your gaze sharpened with surprise. Perhaps not because of the answer itself. Perhaps because of how quickly it came.
He held your stare without looking away.
You searched his face like you had at the door last night, except there was less suspicion in it now and more wondering weariness.
“You’d actually do it?” you asked. “Don’t you have a report to write, or debriefing, or literally anything more interesting than sitting around with me?” The faintest, driest shadow of your old humor touched your mouth and vanished again. “I’m not exactly the most fun person in the world right now.”
Steve almost smiled.
Not because you were funny, though even now you managed it. Because that reflex in you – to make yourself smaller, more manageable, less trouble than you clearly felt – had become visible to him in a hundred ways over the last twelve hours, and every time he noticed it he wanted to refuse it on principle.
“I don’t care about the report,” he said.
He could have softened the sentence. Said I’ll handle it later. Said It can wait. But none of those would have carried what he actually meant, and he had grown tired of trimming truth down to polite size around you.
So he added, “And I don’t care about anything else more.”
The words hung in the room.
Not grand. Not dramatic. He did not say them like a confession. Only as fact.
Still, Steve felt the air shift after them.
Your eyes stayed on his face a beat longer than before. Then your gaze lowered briefly to his mouth, just for a moment, and his entire body noticed.
He ignored that.
Or tried to.
You let out a slow breath. “Okay.”
It was not a demand. Not even a triumph. More like acceptance of something you had been afraid to ask for and had now received without having to bargain.
You talked through the practical details after that with a gentleness that almost made the conversation feel normal.
Steve would go back to the Tower.
He would shower, because you said with sleepy bluntness that he still smelled vaguely like quinjet fuel and the city.
He would change clothes.
He would do whatever he absolutely had to do to keep the world from collapsing in his absence, and then he would come back.
You asked – more cautiously now, as though embarrassed to need one more thing – if he could talk to Tony about getting you a new phone.
Steve thought of the shattered one by the wall in the living room, of the relentless buzzing that had driven you to throw it, and nodded.
“Yeah,” he said. “I’ll get you one.”
You closed your eyes again after that, the effort of the conversation clearly costing you more than you wanted him to notice. Steve watched the line of your face relax by degrees. The aspirin was helping. The toast sat in your stomach now instead of only rum. Some color had returned to you, though not much. It would do for an hour or two.
“I should go,” he said at last, quietly.
You made a soft sound of agreement that did not sound much like agreement at all.
Steve stood.
The movement seemed to wake you more fully. You pushed yourself up with less difficulty this time and sat on the edge of the bed while he collected his jacket. He glanced at you once, half expecting you to stay there and let him leave from the bedroom, but instead you swung your legs over the side and stood too.
“You don’t have to get up,” he said.
“I know.”
You said it the same way you had said everything else that morning: aware of the option, uninterested in taking it.
So he let you follow him.
You moved slowly through the apartment, but with more steadiness now. Tired, yes. Sore. Hollowed out. But no longer wavering on your feet. Steve noticed everything automatically – the way you kept one hand briefly to the wall when turning out of the bedroom, the way you blinked against the brighter light in the living room, the way your shoulders still seemed to curve slightly inward as if some instinct in your body had not yet accepted that the immediate blow was over.
He also noticed the toast plate in the kitchenette sink and felt, absurdly, a small pulse of satisfaction.
At the door, he turned to face you properly.
The safehouse looked different in daylight. Smaller. Less intimate, maybe. The couch where you had fallen apart the night before. The kitchen counter where he had made you eat. The living-room floor where your broken phone still lay in pieces because neither of you had bothered to touch it. All of it now carried the strange, quiet weight of shared aftermath.
Steve reached for the doorknob.
“Steve.”
He looked back.
You had stopped about a step away from him.
“Mmh?”
For one second he thought you were going to ask him again not to be long. Or remind him about the phone. Or say something practical and small, something meant to make the goodbye easier to wear.
Instead you stepped in.
You kissed him.
There was nothing uncertain about it this time.
No hungover confusion. No half-sleep instinct. No startled collision of mouths in the soft grey haze of waking. You kissed him with intention – your hands rising to his neck, then higher, fingers slipping into the hair at the nape and along the sides, holding him there with a quiet certainty that made the breath leave his lungs in one sharp rush.
“This,” you murmured against his mouth first, your breath warm over his skin, “is to say thank you.”
Then you kissed him again before he could answer.
Steve responded.
There was no point pretending otherwise.
The kiss deepened almost immediately, and because he had already spent the entire morning trying not to think about how your first kiss had felt, the second one hit him with the force of everything denied catching flame at once.
Your mouth was softer now, fully awake, deliberate. He felt the exact shape of your lips this time – warm, pliant, insistent in a way that sent sensation racing under his skin. One of his hands went to your waist on pure reflex, steadying, anchoring, pulling you just a fraction closer before he consciously registered that he had done it. The other hovered for the briefest second as if asking permission even now, then came up to cradle the side of your jaw.
You made a faint sound into his mouth.
It wrecked him.
Because it was not a dramatic sound. Not loud. Not theatrical. Only a quiet little exhale of approval, surprise, relief – he could not have named it exactly if asked – but the intimacy of feeling it there between your mouths, of hearing it swallowed by the kiss itself, made something low and dangerous uncurl in him.
He kissed you more fully then.
Still careful. He could not seem to stop being careful with you even when he was kissing you like this, like he had been denying himself the right to learn the shape of your mouth and suddenly could not stop. His thumb slid once along your cheekbone. He felt the way you leaned into him, the way your hands in his hair tightened, the way your body moved closer of its own accord until there was almost no space left between you.
And then your teeth caught his lower lip.
Just a light bite. Not enough to hurt.
Enough to send a shock so immediate through him that the sound he made escaped before he could stop it.
It was low and rough and embarrassingly involuntary. A startled, broken little noise dragged up from somewhere far more honest than dignity. Under different circumstances Steve would have blushed to the roots of his hair over it. He knew that even while it happened. But in the moment there was no room for embarrassment, only the searing awareness of your mouth on his, your teeth on his lip, your fingers in his hair, his own pulse pounding so hard it felt like impact.
He felt you smile into the kiss.
That only made it worse.
Or better.
He had no language for the difference right then.
Steve deepened the kiss again in answer, just enough to taste that smile and lose himself in it for one more dangerous second. The hand at your waist tightened. His other hand slipped from your jaw into your hair, not tangling, only holding, as though the softness of it might disappear if he did not keep contact.
This time it was you who pulled back.
Not far.
Only enough that your mouths no longer touched, though your breath still did.
Steve stayed there, forehead almost touching yours, his mouth close enough that if either of you moved half an inch the kiss would begin again. He could feel the warmth of your skin under his palm, the rise and fall of your breath, the slight tremble in his own restraint. His lips still tingled where yours had been. His lower lip still carried the sharp sweet ghost of your teeth.
“You thank all your friends like that?” he asked.
The words came out against your mouth, quieter and rougher than he intended, carrying more of the kiss than the joke.
You smiled.
A real smile this time – small, tired at the edges, still shadowed by everything else, but real enough to strike him harder than the kiss had in its own way.
“Just the ones who put me first,” you said, “despite how they feel.”
Steve went very still.
Because of course that was what you had noticed.
Not only the care. Not only the staying. The restraint.
The refusal to take what was easy when you were hurting.
The truth of what he felt, and the fact that he had placed your well-being in front of it anyway.
Something in his chest pulled tight enough to hurt.
He looked at you for a long second, the smile still ghosting at your mouth, your hands not yet fallen away from his neck, and wondered how many times he was going to underestimate the sharpness with which you saw him.
Then he let out one slow breath and pressed a brief kiss to your forehead.
Not because he wanted less.
Because he wanted more, and because that still mattered.
“I’ll come back,” he said.
You nodded once.
“I know.”
And somehow those two words felt even more intimate than the kissing had.
Steve forced himself to step back then, though every part of him objected to the movement. Your hands slid from his hair, down the back of his neck, then away entirely. The loss of contact felt immediate and disproportionate.
He opened the door.
Cooler hallway air moved in around him. The ordinary world waited just outside: elevators, traffic, the Tower, Tony, reports, Bucky, consequences, all of it.
Steve paused on the threshold and looked at you one last time.
You stood barefoot in the doorway light, hair still a little disordered from sleep and his hands, mouth kiss-swollen, eyes tired but steadier than the night before. Hurt still clung to you. So did anger. Grief. None of that had disappeared. But now something else stood beside it too, fragile and dangerous and undeniably alive.
He left before either of you could say anything that would tangle the moment further.
The walk down to the street felt unreal.
The city was too bright. Too loud. Too normal. Steve crossed the sidewalk to the Harley and only once he had his helmet in hand did he allow himself to stop and breathe.
His body still held the kiss in vivid pieces.
The press of your hands at his neck.
The softness of your mouth.
The sting of your teeth on his lower lip.
The sound he had made, swallowed by your smile.
The way you had kissed him not out of vengeance or confusion, but with clear-eyed gratitude and something more dangerous underneath.
He shut his eyes briefly.
Then he put on the helmet, started the bike, and headed back toward the Tower with the taste of you still on his mouth and the certainty, sharp as a blade, that coming back to you afterward was no longer a question at all.
GENERAL taglist: @mellowfurynight | @castielscaplan | @whatisanniedoin
Series Summary: After Bucky cheats on you, you leave the Tower shattered, humiliated, and convinced that love has only ever made you smaller. Steve comes back from a mission to find you gone - and when he learns the truth, his loyalty is tested in ways he never expected.
Wordcount: 7.9k
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female Reader (no use of y/n)
Warnings: tower fic, alternative mcu, slow burn, healing arc, hurt comfort, emotional hurt comfort, angst with comfort, infidelity angst, second chance at love, cheating / infidelity, emotional betrayal, toxic ex relationship, Bucky Barnes is OOC, forced kiss, non con elements (very light), boundary violation, sexual assault implications, emotional manipulation, jealousy and possessiveness, panic attacks / panic response, vomiting due to distress, STI scare / medical testing mention, violence / physical fight, blood mention, breakup grief, trauma recovery, found family, protective steve rogers, soft steve rogers, toxic bucky barnes, self-worth issues, mentions of emotionally abusive family dynamics, reader has a difficult childhood, happy ending, MDNI, some chapters will have smut or explicit intimacy
A/N: I want to thank every one who has reblogged and commented on the first part, I didn't expect such engagement for this story and it really warmed my heart. This entire story has been beta read by Cassie -`♡´-
Important note about Bucky: Bucky is very OOC in this fic. I want to be very clear about that from the start: I know he is OOC, I know canon Bucky would not act like this, and I am not presenting this as my interpretation of canon Bucky Barnes.
This story uses him in a deliberately darker, more toxic role for the sake of the angst, conflict, and Reader’s healing arc. So please, before sending me an ask or leaving a comment to tell me that Bucky would never behave this way: I know. That is what this warning is for.
I will not be replying to complaints about Bucky being written OOC. You have been warned, and if this version of him is not something you want to read, please feel free to skip this fic.
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Sam was still in the common room when Steve came back down.
Natasha had gone. Or maybe she was somewhere just out of sight, giving the illusion of absence while missing nothing. The television was still on mute. The spilled water still darkened the coasters on the coffee table. Nothing in the room had changed except Steve.
He felt changed.
Not in any noble sense. Not wiser. Not calmer. Only tighter somehow, as though every nerve in him had been pulled one notch too far and would stay that way until something gave.
Sam looked up the second Steve entered. One glance at his face seemed to tell him enough to make him straighten from where he sat.
Steve did not stop walking until he stood directly in front of him.
“Which safehouse?”
Sam’s expression closed immediately. “Steve, I don’t think–”
“Which,” Steve said again, “safehouse.”
He did not raise his voice.
He did not need to.
Something in the room shifted anyway. Sam’s posture changed, some reflexive recognition of command old enough between them that neither of them had to name it. Steve hated that he used it now. Hated even more that he could not quite bring himself to care.
Sam held his gaze for a long second. Then another.
Steve knew what he must have looked like in that moment: drawn tight with anger not yet cooled, fresh out of Bucky’s ruined room, still carrying the echo of the things said there. Sam was right to hesitate. Steve knew that too. If their positions had been reversed, he would have hesitated himself.
But he also knew something Sam did not.
He knew exactly what Bucky had just tried to make of this.
He knew how close he himself had come to saying something he would have regretted.
And he knew, with a clarity that had only sharpened since he left that bedroom, that the last thing he wanted was to let the night end with you alone in some borrowed apartment, probably drunk and hurt and convinced that if anyone came after you, it could only be on Bucky’s behalf.
He would not let that be the shape of this.
“Sam.”
Just his name.
That was all.
Sam exhaled slowly and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Brooklyn,” he said at last. “Dean Street. Building looks half condemned from the outside, three floors up, apartment 3B.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “She might not open the door.”
“I know.”
Sam stayed seated, but his expression sharpened. “Because you’re his best friend.”
Steve looked at him.
“Not tonight,” he said.
The words came out before he could soften them, and maybe there had never been any chance of that. They landed with an ugliness he felt immediately, because Bucky was still Bucky no matter what he had done, because history did not vanish in a single evening, because love and fury could coexist far more easily than people wanted to admit.
But Sam only watched him for a moment and then nodded once, as if he understood the distinction Steve had not managed to phrase cleanly.
Steve bent, scooped up his duffel from where he had dropped it near the elevator, and then set it aside again. He did not need it. He only needed his jacket and the keys to the Harley in the bowl by the sideboard.
His fingers closed around the metal with a small hard sound.
“Steve,” Sam said as he turned.
He paused.
Sam’s voice lost some of its edge then, became something lower and more careful. “If she tells you to leave, you leave.”
Steve nodded once. “Yeah.”
It was the only promise he could make.
The city at night usually cleared Steve’s head.
The motorcycle helped. The speed. The cold air striking his face hard enough to feel like punishment. The clean necessity of movement, one street opening into the next, traffic lights bleeding red and green over wet pavement, the engine vibrating up through the frame and into his bones. Usually it was enough to strip a man back down to instinct and road and weather.
Tonight it did nothing.
Or not enough.
The ride to Brooklyn did not take long, but Steve felt every block of it anyway. He stopped at lights and saw nothing around him except fragments of the evening replaying themselves in loops too sharp to blur together.
Natasha in the armchair, saying, I saw them. Once.
Sam on the couch, saying, She said if she started talking, she might stay.
Bucky in the wreckage of his room, blood on his hand, saying, I was going to ask her to marry me.
And worse still, afterward – mean and ugly and broken in exactly the wrong direction – You gonna take your shot, finally?
Steve tightened his grip on the handlebars.
Cold wind rushed past him, but it did not cool the heat in his jaw. He could still feel the fabric of Bucky’s shirt twisted in his fist. Could still see that look in Bucky’s face, half viciousness and half invitation to violence, as if being hit might have made him simpler to bear.
It had nearly worked.
That was what kept scraping at Steve on the ride over. Not only what Bucky had said, but how close Steve had come to giving him what he wanted. Not because Bucky deserved mercy. Not because Steve had suddenly become soft. Only because he knew too well what it meant when pain started searching for a fist to turn itself into. He had lived too long around men like that. Been one, once or twice, in quieter ways.
But underneath even that anger was something else now. Something steadier and harder to outrun.
You.
The thought of you alone in that safehouse would not leave him.
He pictured a dozen versions at once, each one worse than the last. You pacing the floor with your phone in your hand until Bucky’s messages turned the screen into something unbearable. You staring at a wall with a drink you never even wanted that badly. You sitting perfectly still in that dangerous kind of calm that came only after too much crying, when the body had exhausted itself into numbness and the mind kept going anyway. He knew enough about heartbreak to understand that solitude could help and still feel vicious. He knew enough about you to know you would rather chew through glass than let half the Tower witness you coming apart.
The bike growled under him as he turned onto the narrower Brooklyn street Sam had named.
Dean Street.
The building was exactly what Sam said it would be: anonymous, weathered, one of those old brownstone conversions that looked tired enough to be ignored by everyone except the people who knew what sat behind the doors. Stark had always favored places like that. Money hidden under shabbiness. Security disguised as neglect.
Steve parked at the curb and killed the engine.
The sudden silence rang.
He sat there for one second longer with both hands still on the bars, staring up at the dark windows. Not all of them were lit. One on the third floor showed a thin seam of lamplight through crooked blinds.
Maybe you were there.
Maybe you were asleep.
Maybe you were crying.
Maybe you were furious enough to throw the door in his face before he said two words.
He almost hoped for the last one. At least it would be movement. Fire. Something easier to bear than imagining you quiet.
He swung off the bike, crossed the sidewalk, and took the stairs two at a time.
By the time he reached 3B, his pulse had settled into that dangerous, deliberate rhythm it always found before a hard conversation. He stood outside the door and listened.
At first, nothing.
Then the faintest scrape from inside. Maybe a footstep. Maybe the sound of someone shifting against furniture. Then silence again.
Steve lifted a hand and knocked.
No answer.
He waited, counted two heartbeats, and knocked again, gentler this time.
Something thudded faintly inside. A pause followed. Then your voice came through the door, blurred at the edges and thick in a way that made something low in Steve’s chest pull tight.
“Who–” You stopped, swallowed, started again. “Who’s there?”
You slurred the words.
Not dramatically. Not enough for a stranger to mistake it for anything more than exhaustion if they wanted to be generous. But Steve knew your voice too well for that. He heard the softened consonants, the way the words stuck together in your mouth before you forced them apart.
You had been drinking.
He closed his eyes briefly.
Not because he judged you for it. God knew he did not. But because it added one more image to the list forming in his head: you alone in this place, reaching for the nearest thing that dulled thought by even a fraction.
“It’s me,” he said, pitching his voice low and steady through the wood. “It’s Steve.”
Silence.
He heard something shift again on the other side. A foot dragging this time. Then the scrape of a chain, the click of one lock, then another.
The door opened.
You stood there with one hand still on the frame as if you needed it to stay upright.
The first thing Steve noticed was your eyes.
They were swollen. Not wildly, not in some theatrical way, but enough that the skin around them had taken on that tender, rubbed-raw look that came after hours of crying and too little sleep. Your hair was a mess, falling around your face in tangled pieces. You had changed clothes at some point – sweatpants, one of those oversized shirts that might have belonged to you or might have been dragged from some emergency closet in the safehouse – but there was nothing settled in the way you wore them. Nothing restful. You looked like somebody who had stopped halfway through existing and then forgotten how to finish.
And yes, you were unsteady.
Not falling-down drunk. Not far gone. But your weight favored the doorframe, and when you shifted it took you a second too long to find your balance. In one hand you held a bottle by the neck. The label had peeled halfway off, but Steve did not need to see it clearly to know it was not vodka and not whiskey. You had always rolled your eyes at both, called them too obvious, too cinematic, too eager to turn misery into cliché.
Rum, then.
Of course.
You stared at him with an expression that seemed to war with itself in real time – surprise first, then suspicion, then something hotter and angrier rising over both.
“Go,” you said.
The word snagged halfway through and came out rough.
Then, because one was not enough, “Go away, Steve.”
He did not move.
Your fingers tightened around the bottle. “I don’t– I don’t need to hear anybody defend him.”
The way you said him told Steve more than a hundred details could have. It came wrapped in disgust and injury and the kind of forced distance people used when a name itself had become too intimate to bear.
He met your stare. “I’m not here for Bucky.”
Your mouth twisted like you didn’t believe him. Fair enough.
He went on anyway. “I’m here for you.”
For a second you only looked at him.
The hall light hummed faintly overhead. Somewhere farther down the building, plumbing knocked in the walls. Steve could smell the city through a cracked stairwell window – rain not yet fallen, old brick, distant exhaust. Underneath it all, drifting out from the apartment behind you, came the smell of stale liquor and air gone too warm from a room shut too long.
Your gaze stayed on his face, hard and searching and not nearly as unfocused as your balance had been.
He wondered what you saw there.
Bucky’s oldest friend.
The man who had not been here.
The man who could so easily have come to plead someone else’s case.
The man who might have known. Might have guessed. Might have chosen silence like Natasha had, except without even the excuse of once having seen enough.
Steve held himself still and let you look.
At last something in your expression shifted – not softening, exactly, but tiring. You stepped back and jerked your head toward the inside of the apartment in a movement that was more permission than welcome.
“Fine.”
He entered without a word.
The safehouse was small. Smaller than he had expected. A narrow entry opening straight into a living room with an old couch, a low table, a standing lamp in the corner, a kitchenette barely visible through an archway, one closed door that must have led to the bedroom. Stark money showed in the bones of the place more than the decorations. The windows were reinforced. The lock on the door was better than the rest of the building deserved. Everything else had the bare, temporary feel of a place meant for waiting, not living.
You lurched ahead of him toward the couch, then missed the cushion entirely in spirit if not in direction and let yourself collapse to the floor just in front of it.
Not gracefully.
Not even intentionally, Steve thought.
More like the floor had simply arrived and you had accepted it.
You folded yourself there with your back half against the couch and lifted the bottle straight to your mouth for another swallow. Steve followed more slowly and stopped a few feet away.
That was when he saw the phone.
It lay in pieces near the far wall, black screen cracked to powder, casing split open, part of it under the little side table as if it had hit once and skidded. The sight made him stop.
He looked from the wreckage to you.
You caught the glance and gave one small, ugly shrug that said enough on its own. Then you muttered, “I got tired of it buzzing every two minutes every time he called or sent another message.”
Steve looked at the broken phone again.
He could picture it. The relentless vibration. The screen lighting up in the dim room over and over until the sound itself became an assault.
“You could’ve turned it off,” he said.
The words came out before he had quite thought them through.
You gave him a look over the rim of the bottle so flat it made him wince inwardly at once. “Yeah,” you said. “Could have.”
He almost apologized.
Instead he came forward and lowered himself to the floor beside you, leaving enough space not to crowd, not enough to feel detached. The wood under him was hard. The apartment felt too warm after the ride. Up close he could hear the unevenness in your breathing now, the way you kept taking in air like your chest had forgotten its own rhythm.
Neither of you spoke for a moment.
Then you asked, very quietly, “Did you know?”
The question cut through the room with more force than anything louder could have done.
Steve turned his head.
You were still looking ahead, not at him. The bottle rested loose in your hand between your knees now, your shoulders curved inward as if trying to protect something that had already been hit too many times. But he heard it in your voice anyway, buried under the drink and the anger and the effort it took to keep it level.
A sob, pressed down into shape before it could become sound.
“No,” he said immediately.
You swallowed.
The silence after that was tiny and terrible.
Then, “You promise?”
This time you did look at him.
Steve had faced gunfire with steadier nerves than it took to hold your gaze right then. Because this was not really about information anymore. Not only that. It was about the narrow, shaking ledge you were standing on with trust in anyone at all. It was about whether one more person in your life had seen the trapdoor open beneath you and let you step anyway.
He answered the only way he could.
“I promise.”
He did not dress it up. Did not reach for an oath or explanation. Just the truth, clean and simple, because anything else would have sounded like defense.
You searched his face for another few seconds, as though checking the seams of the words for cracks.
Then, without warning, you held the bottle out toward him.
He stared at it.
“You know that doesn’t do anything to me,” he said.
Your mouth twitched, but there was no humor in it. “Yes. But you’ll look less like you’re judging me if you drink too.”
For one absurd second, that nearly broke his heart.
Not because of the bottle itself. Because even now – even drunk, even wrecked, even furious – you were trying to manage the optics of your own unraveling. Trying to make it less ugly for the person sitting next to you. Trying to negotiate the terms under which you could fall apart and still keep some piece of pride intact.
Steve took the bottle from your hand.
The glass was warm where your fingers had been.
He tipped it back and swallowed.
The rum burned all the way down, fierce and sweet and rough, useless against a body that metabolized too fast for any ordinary relief to last. Usually that immunity amused other people. A party trick. A mildly tragic side note to the rest of him. Tonight he hated it.
For once he would have liked the blur. The dulling. The permission not to feel every second as sharply as it arrived.
He handed the bottle back.
“I’m not judging you,” he said.
That was true, but the sentence felt inadequate the second it left him. Because he was judging something. Bucky. Himself, maybe. The whole ruined shape of the night. He was judging the fact that this was where you were: on the floor of a safehouse in Brooklyn with a broken phone and a bottle of rum because someone you loved had taken a knife to the center of your life and then tried to call it love anyway.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw you wipe at your face hard and fast with the heel of your hand, almost angrily, as though tears themselves were an insult added to injury.
You leaned your head back against the couch and covered your eyes with one forearm.
The pose looked temporary at first. Defensive. A way to hide from the room for a second.
Then the sound came.
It was not loud. It was worse than loud. A small, involuntary noise – part breath, part sob – as if something inside you had slipped despite your grip and broken the surface before you could stop it. It caught Steve so sharply off guard that for a second he forgot to breathe.
He turned fully toward you.
Your name left him almost without sound, a murmur more than speech.
You shook your head immediately, arm still over your eyes.
No.
Don’t.
Not that.
He understood.
Or thought he did. You did not want him to ask if you were alright when both of you knew you were not. You did not want the kind of comfort that came dressed in phrases too small for the wound. You did not want to be watched while the first crack widened.
Steve looked at your hand instead – the one still loosely holding the bottle by the neck.
Slowly, carefully, giving you every chance to refuse, he reached over and laid his hand over yours.
Your skin felt warm. Tense. Damp at the wrist from where tears had tracked down and you had not noticed.
You did not pull away.
That alone felt like trust. Fragile. Barely there. But real.
Steve eased the bottle from your fingers with a gentleness that seemed to matter more because he had to think about it. Not because he feared you. Because tonight everything hurt, and he had no wish to add one more rough edge to the list.
He set the bottle aside out of reach.
Then he put his hand back over yours.
He had no plan beyond that.
No speech. No strategy. No careful sentence he meant to give you now that would make the night survivable. He only knew he did not want to let the contact break. So he sat there on the floor of that small apartment with his hand over yours and listened to the silence gather around the two of you.
Then you broke.
There was no warning beyond the sudden tightness of your fingers under his.
One second you were rigid beside him, holding yourself together with the last ugly scraps of pride and anger and alcohol. The next you folded – completely, violently, as if whatever had been bracing you from the inside had finally given way. The arm over your eyes dropped. Your whole body jerked with the force of the first real sob, and before Steve had more than half understood what was happening, you had turned into him.
Not delicately.
Not with any grace or intention that might have left room for embarrassment later.
You just came apart and ended up in his arms.
Steve caught you on pure instinct.
One arm went around your shoulders, the other across your back, and then somehow you were against his chest with all the weight of your grief thrown into him at once. He adjusted fast, shifting so he could hold you properly without toppling you both sideways, one hand moving up between your shoulder blades in a slow steady pass that he hoped felt grounding and not pitying.
You were shaking.
Not a little. Not the contained trembling of someone trying not to cry. Your whole body convulsed with it, each sob hitting hard enough that Steve felt the impact through his own ribs. The sound of it tore through him. Not because he had never seen anyone cry before. Not because he was sentimental enough to mistake tears for intimacy. But because this was you, and because there was nothing performative left in it now. No anger sharp enough to shield. No drunken sarcasm. No restraint. Just pain, raw and total and too large to be made dignified.
He held you tighter.
Not crushing. Never that. Just enough that if the world had felt like it was giving way under your feet, there was at least one solid thing left in it.
“It’s alright,” he heard himself murmur, though he knew it wasn’t. The phrase came out instinctively anyway, worn smooth by old comfort, useless and necessary all at once. “I’ve got you.”
Your hands had fisted in his shirt without him noticing when. One of them twisted hard in the fabric over his shoulder. The other pressed flat against his side as if confirming he was there, real, not going anywhere in the next second either.
Steve kept one hand moving against your back in a rhythm he did not have to think about. Slow. Repeating. The kind of touch meant to soothe a frightened animal or a grieving child or a person too deep in hurt to bear stillness.
He had no right, maybe, to know how naturally it came.
That thought passed through him and vanished. This was not the time to examine what it said about him. About the way his body seemed already to know how to shape itself around your pain as if it had been waiting for instruction.
He rested his cheek for one fleeting second against the top of your head.
Your hair smelled faintly of shampoo and stale apartment air and rum on your hands. The scent struck him with such aching familiarity that he had to close his eyes.
Everything in him tightened then in a different way.
Because he was holding you.
Because you were crying into his shoulder.
Because Bucky’s vile accusation still rang somewhere at the back of his mind, and Steve hated that it did, hated that it had managed to stain this for even a second, because this was not that, would never be that. There was nothing opportunistic in the agony of wanting only to make you feel safe while knowing he could not fix the thing that had broken you.
That was the truth at the center of it.
He could not fix this.
He could not take back the night in the Tower.
He could not unsay anything Bucky had said.
He could not return you to the version of yourself that had woken up two mornings ago still believing in what you had.
He could not even offer you the ordinary small relief of a drink hitting your bloodstream the way it hit everyone else’s.
All he could do was stay.
So he did.
He let you cry.
He did not tell you to calm down. Did not ask you for details. Did not say Bucky’s name. He only held you while the sobs tore through you in waves, each one harsh enough to leave you gasping afterward. He felt the heat of your tears soaking into his shirt. Felt the way your shoulders tightened before every fresh break and loosened just slightly after. Felt the violence of how hard you had tried not to let this happen.
And God, that got to him.
The effort of it.
The fact that you had tried so hard to hold it in. In front of Sam. At the door. On the floor with the bottle. Even just now, under your arm on the couch, refusing the first crack of sound as if grief itself were one more indignity to fight.
Something deep in Steve’s chest ached with a force that bordered on helpless rage.
Not at you.
Never at you.
At the situation. At Bucky. At himself, maybe, for not having been here sooner, though he knew that was irrational. At the unbearable human truth that sometimes the best people got hurt in the cheapest ways.
He opened his eyes and stared over your shoulder at the room.
The broken phone lay by the wall like evidence. The lamp in the corner cast a warm dull circle over the floorboards. Shadows gathered in the kitchenette. There was a glass in the sink with water gone untouched. A blanket half pulled from the arm of the couch. Small things. Temporary things. A place to hide and hurt in private.
He thought suddenly of you arriving here that morning alone.
Unlocking the door with Sam’s keycard.
Walking into these quiet rooms with your bag and your grief.
Putting your things down somewhere.
Maybe standing in the middle of the apartment not knowing what to do first because the whole day had become an afterimage.
Maybe checking your phone once, then again, then again until the calls and messages made something snap.
Maybe throwing it. Hard.
Maybe opening the bottle because it was there or because it wasn’t and you had gone to buy it anyway.
The image nearly undid him.
His grip tightened by a fraction before he forced it to ease.
You shifted in his arms then, not away, only deeper somehow, your forehead pressing against the base of his throat as if trying to hide in the space under his chin. The movement was blind, all instinct and exhaustion.
Steve’s heart stumbled once, hard enough to feel.
He hated himself for noticing that.
No– not hated. That was not right.
He hated the timing of noticing. Hated that his own body remained honest even when he wanted nothing from it except steadiness. Because there was tenderness in him for you. More than tenderness. There had been for some time. Quietly. Carefully. In a locked room inside himself he had no intention of opening. He had known it in fragments: the extra second his eyes found you when a room got loud, the particular relief of your laugh, the way your opinion could steady or unsettle him more than he admitted. He had kept all of that under such tight discipline it had barely become language.
Now, with you in his arms and devastated, he felt only the cleanest version of it.
Not desire. Not hope. Nothing so selfish.
Just the ferocious ache of caring for someone and being unable to bear what had been done to them.
Steve bowed his head slightly until his mouth brushed your hairline.
The kiss, if it could be called that, was barely there. A pressure more than a gesture. Thoughtless in the best sense – done the way one might touch a bruise without meaning to, or a prayer one did not realize one still knew.
He froze the second he realized he had done it.
You did not seem to notice.
Or if you did, you mistook it for what it had been: not romance, not a line crossed, only comfort spilling over into whatever language the body found first.
Still, Steve felt a complicated surge of shame and protectiveness both.
He drew back the smallest distance and kept one hand moving between your shoulders.
Minutes passed. Or maybe less. Maybe more. Time had gone strange. Your crying did not stop all at once but slowly frayed, the hardest edges wearing themselves down into quieter shudders. Every so often another sob caught unexpectedly in your chest, smaller now, more exhausted than sharp. Steve stayed exactly where he was through all of it.
Eventually your grip on his shirt loosened by degrees.
Your breathing, though still uneven, began to lengthen.
One of his knees had gone half numb from the angle, and his shoulder ached under the weight of how tightly you had clung to him, but he did not shift. The discomfort felt irrelevant. Almost welcome. A physical thing to hold alongside everything else.
At last you made a sound – not words, just the rough exhale of somebody surfacing and hating that they have to.
Steve loosened his hold only enough to let you breathe more easily if you wanted. He did not force distance between you.
You stayed where you were.
He looked down and saw only the top of your head, the curve of your cheek turned into his chest, the damp shine of tears on the skin he could see.
So he said the only true thing left that did not ask anything of you in return.
“I’m here.”
Your fingers tightened once more in his shirt, weakly now.
Whether in answer or reflex, he did not know.
Either way, Steve took it and let the rest of the apartment fall away.
For a little while after that, neither of you spoke.
The room settled around the two of you in layers – lamp light in the corner, the faint hum of old plumbing in the walls, distant traffic moving somewhere below the window, the softened creak of the building easing into night. Steve stayed exactly where he was on the floor with you folded against him, one arm around your shoulders, the other hand moving slowly up and down your back in the same patient rhythm he had fallen into without thinking.
Your crying had quieted, but it had not truly ended.
He felt it in the occasional tremor that still moved through you without warning. In the way your breathing remained uneven, catching now and then as if another sob waited somewhere just beneath the surface and changed its mind at the last second. In the damp heat of your cheek through his shirt. In the stubborn tension that still held parts of you tight even in his arms, as though your body had not yet received permission to believe the worst of the moment had passed.
Steve knew that feeling.
Not this exact hurt. Not this shape. But the way grief clung to the body even after the sharpest crying stopped, as if the body knew before the mind did that pain was not a wave that came and went but weather that settled.
He let the silence stay.
He did not rush to fill it. Did not ask whether you wanted water, whether you wanted him to move, whether you wanted to lie down, whether you wanted to talk. He had the strong suspicion that too many questions would break the fragile thing the room had become. You had already spent enough of the day being forced into speech you did not want.
Then, after a few more seconds that felt both brief and endless, you spoke into his shirt.
“Steve?”
Your voice came muffled and rough from crying, the syllable almost lost against him.
He tipped his head slightly. “Mm?”
You did not move away when you asked it.
“You’re really not here to defend him?” You swallowed and tried again, more carefully this time, though your words still dragged at the edges. “And not to try and convince me to go back to him?”
The question entered him more deeply than it should have.
Not because he did not know why you asked. He knew exactly why. Bucky was Bucky. Steve was Steve. History had a gravity all its own. If Steve had spent the evening at the Tower hearing what happened, seeing Bucky half-out of his mind upstairs, and then shown up on your doorstep less than an hour later, of course some part of you would assume he had come as an emissary. Not because you were foolish. Because the world had just proved itself faithless in one direction and your mind would naturally search for it in others.
Still, hearing the doubt in your voice – small, exhausted, raw – made something inside him ache.
He kept his hand moving over your back.
“No,” he said.
He let the word settle before he went on.
“I told you. I’m here for you.” His thumb traced once, absently, along the line of your shoulder blade through the fabric of your shirt before his hand resumed that same slow path. “If you want to talk about him, we can talk about him. If you want to call him every name you can think of, I’ll listen. If you want silence, I’m here for that too.”
As he said it, Steve realized he meant it more fully than he had known until the words were already out in the room.
Because there was no version of tonight in which he intended to steer you anywhere. Not toward forgiveness. Not toward anger if you were too tired for anger. Not toward some noble calm you did not owe anybody. If you wanted to sit in the wreckage and hate Bucky until dawn, Steve would sit there and let you. If you wanted to say you still loved him and hated yourself for it, he would hear that too. If you wanted to say nothing else at all, he could do that. He could do quiet for as long as quiet needed.
You gave a small nod against him.
The movement brushed your forehead against the hollow just below his collarbone, so slight it might have meant nothing to anyone else. To Steve it felt enormous.
Not because it was intimate, though it was. But because it was trust. Frail, bruised trust offered in increments so small another person might have missed them. Tonight you had let him in. You had let him sit beside you. You had let him take the bottle from your hand. You had cried in his arms. And now you had asked the question that mattered most to you in the moment and accepted his answer with that one exhausted little nod.
He felt the weight of it all at once.
He also felt something like fear.
Not fear of you. Not of being here.
Fear of mishandling the moment. Of giving even a trace too much or too little. Of letting any feeling of his own – however buried, however carefully chained – show through in a way that would make this about anything other than your hurt. Steve had spent much of his life being trusted in one way or another. As a soldier. As a leader. As the man who stepped between danger and softer things. But this felt different. More delicate. He was not holding a line. He was holding a person, and not just any person. You.
So he stayed very still except for that one hand on your back.
The silence returned afterward, but it had changed.
It was no longer the silence from before – the brittle one at the door, the heavy one in the apartment, the silence of swallowed sobs and suspicion and grief pressing too hard against your throat. This one felt quieter in a different sense. Thoughtful. Worn through. The kind of silence that followed truth spoken simply enough to be believed.
Steve listened to your breathing while it gradually, stubbornly, tried to find some steadier rhythm.
His own thoughts refused to stay still.
Now that the immediate urgency of your breakdown had passed, they returned in slow, dangerous tides. Bucky’s room. The blood on his hand. The shattered frame by the door. The words he had thrown like knives because he had wanted pain to spread and not remain his alone. Steve still felt the echo of them, but they sat differently now that you were in his arms.
Before, the anger had been sharp, almost abstract in its force – moral, immediate, easy to direct. Here, with the reality of you leaning on him and trying not to shake apart, the anger changed shape. It became quieter and somehow much worse. Less like fire. More like a bruise pressed repeatedly with deliberate fingers.
This was what Bucky had done.
Not only the cheating. Not only the lies.
This.
This ruined exhaustion.
This question you had just asked because you could no longer safely assume anyone arrived for your sake alone.
This wary relief when told no one was here to persuade you back toward what hurt you.
This body gone limp with alcohol and crying because there had been no better place to put the pain.
Steve swallowed once.
His hand never stopped moving.
He thought, with a kind of tired astonishment, that Bucky still had no idea what he had truly broken. Maybe he understood the event. The facts. The magnitude in broad strokes. But not this. Not the lived shape of what betrayal did once the adrenaline burned off. Not the little aftershocks. The questions. The suspicion. The humiliation that lingered in the body. The way it made a person feel foolish for having believed the wrong thing for too long.
Or maybe he did know and that was worse.
He looked down slightly, though he could see little of your face from this angle. Only the curve of your temple, the dark fan of lashes still damp, the softened line of your mouth where it pressed into his shirt.
His chest tightened again.
He could not save you from this. He understood that. He could sit here and keep the room quiet and let you breathe and hold you through the worst of tonight, but he could not reach backward in time and become the person who had knocked on your door before all this happened. He could not give you back the version of your life in which love had still felt like shelter instead of threat.
All he could offer was presence.
It felt pitifully small.
It also felt, right now, like the only honest thing in the world.
You shifted again after a while – not away, but enough to tilt your head back slightly against the couch so your voice did not disappear entirely into his shirt this time.
“Steve?”
He answered immediately. “Yeah?”
There was a pause before your next words, and he felt them forming in the way your breathing changed first.
“You… would you stay tonight?”
Nothing in him moved.
Not outwardly.
Inside, though, the question landed with startling force.
For one instant his whole body went very still around it, as if even his pulse paused to listen.
Stay.
It should have been simple. In one sense it was simple. You were hurt, drunk, exhausted, raw from crying, alone in a safehouse with a broken phone and too much night left. Of course he would stay. There was no moral dilemma in that, no real question of duty. If Sam had asked him before he came over whether he meant to remain until morning if needed, Steve would have said yes without hesitation.
But hearing it from you directly changed the air.
Not because the request was romantic. It wasn’t. Not remotely. Steve knew that with absolute clarity. You were not asking him for anything except what the words plainly meant: presence through the dark hours, a witness, a guard against the silence once grief grew teeth again and you had no one to hand it to.
Still, the intimacy of being asked did something to him.
Not the kind of intimacy Bucky had accused him of wanting. Nothing cheap. Nothing triumphant. Nothing that made him feel like he had won anything. God, if anything it made him feel smaller. Humbled. Careful. Almost afraid.
Because tonight you were giving him something fragile without dressing it up as such. You were saying, in the only way you could still manage, I don’t want to be alone when this gets quiet again.
Steve’s hand paused on your back for the briefest moment before continuing.
“Yes,” he said.
He heard, in the very next heartbeat, that the answer had been too quick. Not wrong. Only too immediate, too instinctive, as if he had been waiting for the chance to say it. He did not want you to hear it that way. So he added, gentler, “If you want me to.”
A tiny, tired sound left you then. Not quite a laugh. Not quite a sob. Just some soft frayed noise that meant the effort of words had cost more than you wanted it to.
“I do,” you said.
Steve let out a breath he had not noticed himself holding.
“Then I’ll stay.”
You nodded again, slower this time.
The room fell quiet once more.
Steve became painfully aware of practical things then, perhaps because practicality was safer to think about than the other sensation still moving through him – the one made of tenderness and protectiveness and the dangerous knowledge that if you asked him to remain, he would do it without resentment, without boredom, without even the secret wish that dawn came faster.
He looked around the apartment over your shoulder. The couch would do if needed. The floor too, if you insisted on the couch. There might be blankets in a closet. Water in the kitchen. Maybe aspirin, though with your phone destroyed and your emotions raw, a headache tomorrow morning felt inevitable no matter what he found. He could lock the door. Check the windows. Put the bottle farther away if you’d had enough or leave it if taking it from you now felt too parental. He could make coffee in the morning. Or tea, if your stomach turned at the thought. He could say very little. He could say exactly what you asked for and nothing more.
He had always been good at making himself useful.
That instinct, usually so steadying, suddenly felt insufficient.
Because usefulness was only part of what was happening here. The rest was far less tidy.
The truth was he wanted to stay.
Wanted it with a force that unsettled him.
Not because the night gave him some opening. Not because he thought pain might draw you closer in a way ordinary days never would. He despised the shape of that idea before it even fully formed. No – he wanted to stay because leaving now felt impossible in the face of your voice when you asked. Because he could not bear the picture of you waking in the night disoriented, reaching into empty air. Because there was something in him that had apparently decided, long before he ever admitted it, that if you needed someone at your side in the dark he would go.
The realization sat in him quietly and changed nothing and everything at once.
He kept his thoughts to himself.
After another minute or two, your body began to soften against him in increments so subtle he might have missed them if he hadn’t been paying such close attention. The rigid lines of strain in your shoulders loosened. The hand that had knotted his shirt eased, opening and closing once as if unsure whether it still needed to hold on that hard. Your breathing slowed, though every so often it still hitched on the tail end of a spent sob.
Steve brushed his palm once more between your shoulder blades and said, very softly, “Do you want to stay here?”
You did not answer at once.
He waited.
Finally you murmured, “Don’t make me move yet.”
He almost smiled.
There was no amusement in it, only a weary kind of tenderness. “Okay.”
So he stayed exactly where he was.
If anyone had told him, when he stepped off the elevator at the Tower less than two hours earlier, that the night would end with him sitting on the floor of a Brooklyn safehouse while you leaned against him and asked him not to leave, he would have called them insane. The whole evening still felt unreal in places, too jagged to fully process. But this part – this quiet aftermath, this solemn permission to remain – felt more real than anything else had since he came home.
He found himself wondering what tomorrow would be for you.
Whether the anger would come back first or the grief. Whether embarrassment would try to rise where trust had been tonight. Whether you would regret letting him see this much. Whether you would ask questions you had not wanted answered yet. Whether Bucky would keep trying to call from whatever number he could find, whether Tony would intervene, whether Natasha would already be building a defense around your absence sharp enough to cut through anyone curious.
He could do nothing about tomorrow right now.
That, too, was a kind of discipline.
He lowered his head slightly until his temple rested for a second against the couch above yours, just enough to anchor himself in the present. The fabric smelled old and clean. You smelled like salt tears, tired skin, and rum. The room felt warm. His legs were beginning to protest the floorboards. None of it mattered.
After a while, you shifted one hand from where it had fallen in your lap and reached blindly, as if through instinct more than intention, until your fingers caught in the sleeve of his jacket.
Not gripping. Just holding.
Steve looked down.
Your eyes were closed now.
Whether you meant to sleep or simply could not keep them open any longer, he did not know. But your fingers stayed there in the denim, and Steve felt the contact all the way through him.
He covered your hand lightly with his free one for a moment.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said.
He did not know whether you were fully awake to hear it.
Maybe it did not matter.
Your grip loosened only after that, not because you let go but because trust, for the moment, had done enough work that you no longer needed to cling so hard.
Steve sat with you in the soft hum of the apartment and let the night continue around you both.
And when he thought of leaving, even for the practical purpose of getting you a blanket or water, he found he could not quite bring himself to move until you asked.
GENERAL taglist: @/mellowfurynight | @castielscaplan | @whatisanniedoin
Series Summary: After Bucky cheats on you, you leave the Tower shattered, humiliated, and convinced that love has only ever made you smaller. Steve comes back from a mission to find you gone - and when he learns the truth, his loyalty is tested in ways he never expected.
Wordcount: 9.8k
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female Reader (no use of y/n)
Warnings: tower fic, alternative mcu, slow burn, healing arc, hurt comfort, emotional hurt comfort, angst with comfort, infidelity angst, second chance at love, cheating / infidelity, emotional betrayal, toxic ex relationship, Bucky Barnes is OOC, forced kiss, non con elements (very light), boundary violation, sexual assault implications, emotional manipulation, jealousy and possessiveness, panic attacks / panic response, vomiting due to distress, STI scare / medical testing mention, violence / physical fight, blood mention, breakup grief, trauma recovery, found family, protective steve rogers, soft steve rogers, toxic bucky barnes, self-worth issues, mentions of emotionally abusive family dynamics, reader has a difficult childhood, happy ending, MDNI, some chapters will have smut or explicit intimacy
A/N: This story has been beta read by Cassie (with a lot of yelling at me and at the characters), so as always, a huge thanks to you.
While I think this series can be read as its own, it's a follow-up of this one-shot, and I suggest you read it for a better comprehension of the plot.
Important note about Bucky: Bucky is very OOC in this fic. I want to be very clear about that from the start: I know he is OOC, I know canon Bucky would not act like this, and I am not presenting this as my interpretation of canon Bucky Barnes.
This story uses him in a deliberately darker, more toxic role for the sake of the angst, conflict, and Reader’s healing arc. So please, before sending me an ask or leaving a comment to tell me that Bucky would never behave this way: I know. That is what this warning is for.
I will not be replying to complaints about Bucky being written OOC. You have been warned, and if this version of him is not something you want to read, please feel free to skip this fic.
Masterlist - Series Masterlist - Next
When Steve came back to the Tower after seven days away, he knew something was wrong before the elevator doors even opened.
It was not one thing so much as the shape of the silence.
The common floor usually carried noise no matter the hour – music from somebody’s speaker, Tony talking too loudly to fill a room that did not need filling, the television running unwatched, footsteps crossing polished floors, the low mechanical hum of a building too alive to ever quite rest. Even when the Tower stood quiet, it had a pulse. It felt inhabited.
That evening, it felt hollow.
The elevator opened onto dim light and stillness. Steve stepped out with his duffel slung over one shoulder, the stale taste of quinjet coffee still sitting on his tongue, and found Sam and Natasha in the common room.
Neither of them looked up at first.
Sam sat forward on the couch, elbows on his knees, hands clasped so tightly the knuckles had gone pale. Natasha sat in one of the armchairs with one leg thrown over the other, but there was nothing relaxed about her posture. Her face looked flat and closed in that particular way it did when anger had cooled into something sharper. The television across from them was on mute. Some late-night news anchor moved her mouth in total silence.
A half-empty glass of water sat on the coffee table. Another lay on its side, a dark crescent soaking into a stack of coasters. No one had bothered to clean it up.
Steve let the duffel slide from his shoulder and land by the elevator with a dull thud.
Neither of them smiled.
His stomach dropped.
He looked from Sam to Natasha and, because instinct always made him reach for humor first when the air turned unbearable, he asked, “Okay. Who died?”
Sam looked up then.
There were jokes a room let survive and jokes it killed on sight. This one did not even make it to the floor.
Something in Sam’s face made Steve straighten.
Natasha finally turned her head toward him. Her expression did not change. “No one.”
Steve waited.
No one said anything.
The silence stretched a second too long, then another.
He felt the fatigue of the mission still in his bones – seven days of bad sleep, worse weather, and the kind of work that left no room for thinking about anything except the next step. He had expected to come back to the usual mess: Stark making some comment about how long they took, Sam complaining about quinjet rations, maybe Bucky lurking at the edge of the room with that watchful half-detached look of his. He had expected normal. Or the closest thing the Tower had ever had to it.
Instead he got this.
Steve’s gaze moved between them again. “What happened?”
Sam exhaled through his nose and leaned back at last, like a man resigning himself to an unpleasant duty. “She left.”
For one second, Steve did not understand the sentence.
The words landed, but not their meaning. There were too many people in the Tower for she to mean anything immediately. Maria had not lived here in years. Pepper barely stayed overnight. Wanda spent more time elsewhere than in. There were women in and out of Avengers Tower all the time.
Then understanding hit.
His head came up sharply. “What?”
Sam did not look away. “She left this morning.”
Something cold moved through Steve’s chest.
He had not seen you when he came in. He had noticed that without truly registering it, the way a mind dismissed small absences when it had not yet been told where to look. Now the omission flashed back at him all at once. Your jacket was not hanging over the back of the dining chair where you sometimes forgot it. There was no mug on the table that looked like yours. No book left face-down on the arm of the couch. None of those ordinary traces that meant you had passed through the room recently.
He frowned. “Left for where?”
Sam rubbed a hand over his jaw. “One of Stark’s old safehouses in Brooklyn. I gave her the keys.”
Steve stared at him. “Why?”
Natasha answered.
“Barnes cheated on her.”
The words fell clean and hard into the room.
Steve looked at her as if he had misheard.
The muted television flickered blue-white across the glass wall behind them. A siren moved somewhere far below in the city and faded. Steve heard all of it with unnatural clarity, as if the world had suddenly become too sharp around the edges.
He said, very carefully, “What?”
Natasha did not soften it. She never did when softness would have been a lie. “She had her suspicions. She confronted him last night.”
Steve just looked at her.
He had come back from battlefields that made more sense than that sentence.
Barnes cheated on her.
Not drifted. Not picked a fight. Not said something careless and unforgivable in anger. Not made a coward of himself in one of the quieter, more ordinary ways men ruined things.
Cheated.
Steve felt something like disbelief and nausea rise together.
He glanced at Sam, maybe because some part of him still expected a correction there, some sign this had been exaggerated in the retelling. Sam only gave a grim, weary nod that confirmed the worst of it.
“She packed this morning,” Sam said. “Didn’t take much. Just a bag.” His mouth tightened. “She was already gone by the time most people were up.”
Steve passed a hand over his face.
The skin around his eyes felt gritty from lack of sleep, but the gesture had more to do with buying himself a second than fatigue. He stood there in the middle of the room with mission dust still on his boots and tried to fit the news into any shape that made sense.
It refused.
He had known you and Bucky together long enough to have stopped thinking of you as temporary. The two of you were not easy, not in the glossy, effortless way some couples pretended to be. There had always been edges there. Bucky was Bucky – closed off, haunted, sometimes so deep inside his own head it seemed a miracle he remembered to come back out. And you had never been the kind to smooth yourself down for anyone’s comfort. But Steve had seen the way you looked at each other when you thought no one was paying attention. He had seen Bucky track your movement across a room without seeming to. He had seen you lean into his space like it was the one place in the world that asked nothing false of you.
He had gone away for a week.
He had come back to this.
And worse than that – he had seen nothing coming.
Nothing.
No crack obvious enough to alarm him. No sign in Bucky that screamed betrayal. No whispered argument in the hallway before he left on mission. No strange distance between you two that might have made him stop and ask a question. If anything, the last time he saw you together, it had looked normal enough to let pass without a second thought.
That thought angered him more than he expected.
He looked at Natasha.
“You knew,” he said.
It was not a question.
She held his gaze for a beat before answering. “I saw them. Once.”
Steve felt his jaw harden.
There were a hundred follow-up questions in that sentence. Who. When. Where. How long ago. Did Bucky know she had seen. Did you. Was it really enough to know, or just enough to suspect. But the way Natasha said it told him what mattered most: she had not guessed. She had seen enough to be certain.
His voice came lower. “And you said nothing.”
Natasha’s face did not change, but something colder moved through her eyes. “I saw enough to know something was wrong. I did not have proof of the whole shape of it. By the time I decided I should have dragged him into a room and forced the truth out of him, she already had it.”
There was no apology in the words. Natasha rarely apologized for making a bad call until after she finished surviving it. But there was something else there – disgust, maybe. At Bucky. At herself. At the mess of it.
Steve looked away from her and out toward the windows.
Night lay over Manhattan in a scatter of lights and reflections. The city looked exactly as it always did from up here: bright, impossible, indifferent. He had spent enough years leading people through catastrophe to know how absurdly ordinary the world remained while somebody’s life came apart.
He thought of you leaving that morning while he was still halfway across the Atlantic, probably on a quinjet, probably asleep sitting up with his arms crossed, unaware that you were walking out of the Tower with a bag in one hand and whatever was left of your trust dragging behind you. The image lodged under his ribs with strange force.
He had not seen you.
He had not been here.
The helplessness of that irritated him immediately.
“What did she say?” Steve asked.
Sam answered that one.
“Not much.” He glanced down at his clasped hands before going on. “She didn’t owe me details, and I didn’t push. She opened the door with a bag already packed, and looked like she hadn’t slept.” His expression tightened a little, remembering. “I asked if she wanted to stay. She said no. I asked if she was sure. She said if she started talking, she might stay.”
Steve’s head turned slowly toward him.
Sam met his eyes. “So I handed her the keycard.”
That landed somewhere deep and quiet.
If she started talking, she might stay.
Steve could picture it too easily: you standing there with your face stripped bare by exhaustion and fury, holding yourself together by will alone, knowing that the first real conversation might be the thing that made you weaker instead of stronger. He knew that kind of decision. The ones people made because motion was the only thing keeping them upright.
“Did she say anything else?” Steve asked.
Sam shook his head. “Only that she needed out.”
Natasha let out a low breath through her nose. “Which seemed smart.”
Steve looked at her again.
There was steel in Natasha tonight, but there usually was. What struck him more was the fury she was not bothering to hide beneath it. She had never been sentimental about infidelity. In her experience, betrayal was betrayal. Private treachery and professional treachery shared more DNA than people liked to admit.
He thought again of what she had said I saw them. Once.
That meant at least once there had been a moment clear enough, damning enough, that Natasha Romanoff had taken one look and known what it was.
His stomach turned harder.
“Who?” he asked.
Natasha’s mouth became a thin line. “You really want that answer right now?”
The fact that she did not say she did not know answered him almost as well as a name would have.
Steve did not ask again.
Maybe because the name itself did not matter in this exact second. Not compared to the larger fact of it. Not compared to you leaving. Not compared to Bucky doing something so ugly and ordinary Steve almost had more trouble with the ordinariness than the ugliness. He had seen Bucky as a weapon, a prisoner, a survivor, a ghost trying to become a man again. It did not fit cleanly in Steve’s head – that same man lying to someone who loved him and then doing it again long enough for suspicion to grow teeth.
And yet life was cruelly simple sometimes. A person could survive war and brainwashing and still fail in the oldest, most human way imaginable.
Steve swallowed once and asked the question that had been waiting underneath all the others.
“Where is Bucky?”
Sam leaned back fully now and turned his head toward the hallway that led to the bedrooms.
“Last I heard? In his room.”
There was a bitter kind of humor in his expression now, the kind that had no real amusement in it at all.
“Doing what?”
“Destroying everything he can get his hands on,” Sam said. “Physically, this time.”
Steve stared.
Sam gave a short, humorless huff. “Because I wouldn’t tell him where she went.”
That, at least, Steve could picture.
He could imagine the shape of Bucky’s rage when it had nowhere useful to go. Furniture splintering under metal fingers. Glass breaking. A wall caving in. The deliberate ugliness of a man who had run out of ways to punish himself internally and needed something in the world to show damage too.
A week ago, Steve might have been halfway down the hall already out of instinct alone, ready to stop him before he tore his hands open on the wreckage.
Now he stayed where he was.
“Good,” Natasha said.
Sam glanced at her, but did not disagree.
Steve stood very still.
It was one thing to hear that Bucky was in pain. It was another to discover that the first feeling that rose in him was not sympathy but anger so immediate and clean it almost steadied him. Anger for you, for Sam being put in the middle of it, for Natasha being left to sit on what she knew, for the entire filthy waste of it. Anger that Bucky had shattered something and then turned destructive only after consequences showed up at his own door.
He let out a slow breath.
“When did you find out?” he asked Natasha.
She uncrossed her legs and recrossed them the other way, gaze fixed on him. “About the cheating? This morning, officially. About there being something off? Earlier.”
Steve nodded once.
That matched too well with the room. The bad atmosphere. The fact that both of them looked like they had not slept much either. This had not been a clean morning reveal with tidy explanations. It had been a night of fallout. Confrontation. Packing. One person leaving and another breaking apart loudly enough for the Tower to feel it through the walls.
He looked down at the dropped duffel by the elevator and felt suddenly ridiculous for having come home still half inside mission mode. There had been gunfire forty-eight hours ago. Tactical briefings. Satellite feeds. Blood on concrete. All of it already felt easier to process than this living-room silence.
“Tony know?” he asked.
Sam nodded. “By noon.”
“And?”
“And he’s mad enough not to be funny about it.”
That told Steve plenty.
Tony, for all his mockery and noise, had a vicious protective streak once somebody was considered his. You had been around long enough, close enough, to count. Steve could imagine exactly how cold Tony’s anger might look when it turned practical.
For a second no one spoke.
Steve could hear something faint in the hallway now that he stood listening for it. Not voices. Not footsteps. A dull impact, maybe, far off and muffled by distance and expensive walls.
Sam heard it too and tipped his head slightly in that direction. “See?”
Another thud, heavier this time.
Bucky’s room.
Steve shut his eyes briefly.
He remembered all at once a hundred versions of his oldest friend – the skinny reckless boy from Brooklyn who laughed with split lips, the ghost of him in war, the nightmare that followed, the man clawing his way back to himself in fragments. He remembered fighting for him when nobody else thought there was enough left to save. He remembered believing, stubbornly and absolutely, that whatever the world had made of Bucky Barnes, there had still been a line inside him no cruelty could fully erase.
That belief did not vanish now.
But it changed shape.
Because whatever history Bucky carried, whatever damage had been done to him, none of it absolved him here. Steve knew that with a clarity so cold it almost surprised him. Pain explained. It did not excuse. Not this. Not repeated choices. Not lying to someone who loved you and letting them stand there asking themselves what was wrong with them when the wrongness sat with you all along.
A flash of memory came uninvited: you at the kitchen counter some night weeks ago, laughing at something Sam said, head tipped back, shoulders loose. Bucky in the doorway, saying nothing, but watching you with that small private softness he almost never let anyone see.
Steve had seen that look and trusted it.
His hand curled once at his side.
“Did she ask for me?” he heard himself say.
Sam’s expression changed – subtle, but enough.
“No,” he said carefully. “She didn’t know when you were getting back.”
Of course you had not.
The answer still landed harder than it should have.
Steve nodded once, more to himself than to either of them. It was not a wound, exactly. Just another fact. You had left in the narrow space available to you. You had not asked for him because you had not known he could be there, and maybe because this was not the kind of hurt you handed around to be held by committee.
He respected that.
He hated it too.
Natasha watched him with the sharp attention she reserved for dangerous moments – not because anyone had drawn a weapon, but because she knew emotional shock could turn a room volatile faster than a loaded gun sometimes could. “Steve.”
He looked at her.
She lifted one shoulder slightly. “Whatever you’re about to do, pick the useful version.”
He almost laughed, but there was no room for it.
Another crash came faintly from down the hall.
Sam stood up at last. “I already tried talking to him.”
Steve glanced at him. “And?”
Sam gave him a flat look. “And he only wanted to know where she was.”
“Did he say anything else?”
“He said he loved her.” Sam’s mouth twisted. “Which I’m sure was a big comfort.”
Steve looked away again.
That was somehow the worst part. Not because it softened anything, but because it did not. People liked to imagine betrayal coming from absence of feeling, as if the heart worked in clean equations. It never did. Steve had lived too long to believe that. Bucky could love you and still ruin you. The contradiction did not make the damage smaller. It made it uglier.
He drew in a slow breath and let it out.
“Is she safe?” he asked.
Sam answered immediately. “Yes.”
“Alone?”
“Yes.”
“Does anybody else know where she is?”
Sam’s gaze held his for a second, measuring. “Only me. Probably Tony. And now you know there’s a place, not which one.”
Steve accepted that without argument. He would have done the same in Sam’s place. Maybe he would have done worse.
Natasha rose from the chair in one fluid motion. “If you’re going to see him, do it before he brings the floor down.”
Steve bent, picked up his duffel, then set it back down again. He was not going to carry luggage into this conversation like a man arriving for an ordinary evening.
He straightened and looked down the darkened hallway.
Part of him wanted to turn around instead. Walk back into the elevator, get in a car, find every safehouse Stark owned if necessary until he found you. Not to make you talk. Not to fix anything. Just to see with his own eyes that you were somewhere quiet, somewhere no one could reach you unless you wanted them to.
But Sam’s earlier words stopped him.
If she started talking, she might stay.
You had chosen distance. He would not be another person trying to take that from you.
So that left Bucky.
His chest tightened with something old and terrible. Loyalty, anger, grief, disbelief – none of it separated cleanly. Bucky was his friend. His brother in every way that mattered. And Steve knew, with the kind of certainty that hurt, that if he opened that bedroom door right now and saw the wreckage inside, he was not going to feel sorry first.
He was going to feel furious.
Maybe Bucky knew that. Maybe that was why he had not come out.
Steve started toward the hallway.
“Steve,” Sam called after him.
He stopped and looked back.
Sam’s expression had gone serious again. “Don’t let him make this about how bad he feels.”
Steve held his gaze for a moment and gave a single nod.
He understood.
Bucky would bleed guilt all over the room if allowed. He would talk about shame and self-hatred and how he had ruined everything, and all of it might be true, and none of it would be the point. The point was you packing a bag in the morning light, too hurt to risk one more conversation. The point was you leaving before anyone could stop you because staying would have cost you too much.
Steve turned back without another word.
The corridor seemed longer than he remembered. Lights came on ahead of him in soft succession as he walked, each step bringing the distant noise into clearer focus. A crack of splintering wood. The metallic ring of something thrown hard enough to hit a wall. Then silence. Then another impact.
By the time he reached Bucky’s door, the hall smelled faintly of plaster dust.
Steve stopped outside it.
For one second he simply stood there, hand at his side, looking at the scarred wood panel and seeing too many years layered over it at once. Brooklyn alleys. Army trains. HYDRA labs. Wakanda. Recovery rooms. Quiet dinners. Missions. Second chances. All of it came down, absurdly, to a closed door in Avengers Tower and the knowledge that the man on the other side had just done something Steve did not know how to forgive.
Inside, something heavy hit the wall.
Steve lifted his hand and opened the door.
The frame missed Steve’s face by inches.
It struck the wall just beside the door with a crack sharp enough to ring through the wrecked room, glass exploding across the floor in a scatter of glittering shards. Steve stopped on instinct, his body turning slightly with the old reflex of a soldier who had spent too many years stepping around violence before his mind properly caught up.
For a second, the only sound came from the piece of wood spinning once across the floorboards before falling still.
Then silence closed back in.
Steve looked up.
Bucky stood in the middle of the room like the last thing left after a fire.
His chest rose and fell too hard. His hair had fallen into his face. The knuckles of his right hand were split open and bloodied, the skin torn raw from repeated impact. It had smeared across his fingers, across the heel of his palm, onto the front of his T-shirt in half-dried rust-colored marks where he must have wiped at his mouth or his face without noticing. His metal arm hung stiffly at his side, flexing once, twice, the plates clicking faintly.
The room itself looked as if somebody had torn through it looking for a body.
A chair lay overturned near the desk with one leg snapped clean off. The lamp on the bedside table had been smashed against the wall hard enough to cave in the plaster. One drawer hung crooked and splintered from the dresser, its contents – shirts, papers, a handful of loose ammunition from some carelessly abandoned tactical pouch – strewn across the floor. The mirror above the bureau had cracked through the middle in a violent white line, spiderwebbing outward into fractured reflections that caught Steve’s shape in broken pieces. One of the closet doors hung open at the wrong angle. The mattress had been shoved partly off the bedframe. There were two distinct holes in the wall that looked roughly the size of Bucky’s fist.
Steve took in all of it in one long sweep, and disbelief moved through him so cold and clean it almost felt like clarity.
Sam had not exaggerated.
If anything, Sam had been charitable.
For one stupid second, Steve remembered the common room downstairs – the tipped-over glass on the coffee table, Natasha’s shut face, Sam’s clasped hands, that terrible hollow quiet – and the memory hit differently now, with context. This was what had waited behind it. This was the noise that had been traveling through the walls.
The thought hardened something already sharp in Steve’s chest.
He stepped fully into the room and nudged the broken frame aside with the heel of his boot.
The photograph inside had split behind the glass. Steve did not stop to see who had been in it.
“Is that it?” he asked.
His voice came flat. Not loud. Not sympathetic. There was no trace in it of the concern he would have shown under other circumstances, if this had been about a mission gone wrong or a nightmare or the aftermath of somebody else’s cruelty.
There was none of that here.
Bucky stared at him with eyes gone dark and raw from sleeplessness. “No.”
The answer did not surprise Steve.
Of course it did not.
This was not an ending. This was only the shape a consequence had taken when it finally stopped being theoretical. Rage had always come easier to Bucky than remorse did; Steve knew that better than most. Rage gave a body something to do. It let a man move. Break. Bleed. It saved him, sometimes, from having to sit still with what he had done.
Steve glanced again at Bucky’s hand. The blood had started to drip steadily now from the split skin over the knuckles, dark drops pattering onto the floorboards.
“You should wrap that.”
Bucky let out something that might have been a laugh if there had been any life in it. “That what you came up here to say?”
Steve closed the door behind him with deliberate calm. The latch clicked into place with absurd neatness in a room that looked bombed out.
“No,” he said.
Bucky looked away first.
That did something ugly to Steve, because it made him think of every version of Bucky he had ever known that could still meet a punch head-on and yet flinch from being seen clearly. It made him think of the boy from Brooklyn with bruised eyes and a grin that hid more than it should have. It made him think of all the years in between. It made him think of what Sam had said downstairs, of Bucky asking where you had gone and then tearing his room apart because Sam had refused to tell him.
It made him furious all over again.
Bucky dragged a hand over his mouth, smearing blood across his skin. When he spoke, his voice sounded scraped raw. “I had ended it.”
Steve said nothing.
Bucky swallowed once. The words seemed to drag against his throat on the way out. “Yesterday. When I came back.” He gave a short, shattered shake of his head, not quite looking at Steve. “I went to her. I told her it was over.”
For one beat, the room held still.
Then Steve heard his own voice answer, colder than even he had expected.
“And you want a medal for that?”
Bucky’s head snapped up.
Steve did not move.
He stood just inside the wreckage with his hands loose at his sides and looked at his oldest friend across the carnage of his own making, and whatever Bucky had expected to find on his face, it was not there. Not patience. Not understanding. Not the old instinctive mercy Steve had spent half a lifetime extending toward him.
Only contempt, clean and bright as a blade.
Bucky stared at him as if the tone itself had struck harder than a fist.
“I’m not asking for that.”
“No?” Steve took one step farther into the room, carefully avoiding the worst of the broken glass. “Because it sounded a lot like you were setting the scene. You know, in case I missed the part where you tried to stop being a bastard at the last possible second.”
A pulse jumped in Bucky’s jaw.
Steve saw it and did not care.
He could still hear Natasha downstairs, I saw them. Once.
He could still hear Sam, She packed this morning. Didn’t take much. She said if she started talking, she might stay.
Those words had lodged deep.
He had not seen you before you left. He had not been there for the confrontation, had not watched your face when Bucky failed to deny it, had not stood in the hallway while you walked out. All he had were the fragments Sam and Natasha had given him – and somehow that made the whole thing worse, because his mind kept supplying the rest. You standing in the kitchen after a sleepless night. Bucky saying I love you and meaning it in whatever useless, ugly way a man meant it after betrayal. You taking a bag and choosing distance because it was the only thing that kept you from breaking in front of everyone.
Steve looked at the wrecked lamp, the shattered mirror, the blood on Bucky’s hand, and felt no pity for any of it.
Bucky laughed once, but there was no humor in it. “You think I don’t know what I did?”
“I think you know now,” Steve said.
That landed.
Bucky flinched like he had not meant to, then set his mouth hard.
Steve went on before he could answer. “I think you knew enough to hide it while you were doing it. I think you knew enough to lie. I think you knew enough to come back here yesterday and end it with the other woman only after you’d already spent however long making a wreck out of both sides of this.” His voice stayed level, which somehow made it harsher. “And I think now that she’s gone, you want credit for having a conscience too late.”
Bucky’s breathing roughened. “It wasn’t like that.”
Steve looked around the room again, then back at him. “Then by all means, clear it up.”
For a second Bucky seemed almost unable to speak.
He looked exhausted in a way that went past sleeplessness. He looked gutted. Steve saw it. Steve believed it. It changed nothing.
Bucky turned half away, metal hand rising to grip the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean for it to keep going.”
Steve almost laughed.
That, more than anger, almost made him laugh in disbelief.
“You didn’t mean,” he repeated. “That’s what you’ve got.”
Bucky’s shoulders tightened. “It started and then–”
“And then you kept doing it,” Steve cut in.
Bucky snapped, “I know that.”
The words bounced off the cracked walls and fell dead.
Steve did not raise his voice to match him.
Downstairs, Sam had warned him, Don’t let him make this about how bad he feels.
Steve understood now exactly why he had said it. Guilt came off Bucky in waves. Shame too. The whole room stank of it under the plaster dust and the metallic tang of blood. But Steve had no interest in getting lost inside Bucky’s self-disgust if it meant losing sight of the actual damage.
“You know what I can’t get past?” Steve asked quietly.
Bucky’s eyes lifted to him again.
“That you let her figure it out.”
Something changed in Bucky’s face.
Steve pressed on.
“She suspected something.” Every word came measured, controlled. “Natasha told me that much. She saw enough to know something was wrong. And you still let the woman you claimed to love stand there with that feeling in her gut until she had to drag the truth out of you herself.”
Bucky shut his eyes.
For the first time since Steve entered, he looked less angry than sick.
Steve remembered another line from downstairs with painful precision, She confronted him last night.
He pictured that too easily. You in the kitchen, maybe. Or the hallway. Or somewhere private that had stopped feeling safe the second Bucky lied in it once too often. Your voice gone cold. Bucky going still. The silence after the first direct question. The look on his face when denial failed him.
Steve had not been there, but he knew enough about people to imagine it.
And imagining it made his stomach turn.
“Did you deny it?” Steve asked.
Bucky opened his eyes slowly.
The silence answered before he did.
Steve felt something inside him go hard as stone.
“You did.”
Bucky looked at the floor. “At first.”
Of course he had.
Steve took another step forward.
There were years of memory crowding behind his ribs, all of them trying to complicate this. Every fight he had fought for Bucky. Every grave he had refused to let close over him. Every miracle of survival. Every quiet step back toward personhood. All of it kept trying to stand up between them and say be fair, be patient, remember who he is.
Steve did remember who he was.
That was part of why this cut so deep.
“You had a chance,” Steve said. “Maybe more than one. To tell her. To stop. To confess before she had to come to you already knowing enough to be hurt.” His gaze dropped to the shredded room around them. “Instead you waited until she was gone and started punching walls.”
Bucky looked up fast, anger flashing through the ruin. “You think that’s all this is?”
Steve met it without blinking. “Right now? Pretty close.”
That stung visibly.
Good.
Bucky paced away from him in three quick steps, then stopped because there was nowhere left in the room to go without stepping on something broken. He looked down at his bleeding hand as if noticing it for the first time, then wiped it absently on his shirt again.
“She asked me why I loved her,” he said suddenly.
Steve said nothing.
Bucky laughed once under his breath, the sound cracked straight through with grief. “You should’ve heard how she said it.” He shook his head. “Like it was the ugliest joke in the world.”
Steve felt his jaw tighten so hard it hurt.
He could hear your voice saying it, though he had not been there. Not the exact sound, but the shape of it. Not confusion anymore. Not pleading. Something worse. The moment when love became unbearable because it no longer made sense beside what had been done in its name.
Bucky pressed the heel of his left hand against his eyes for a second. When he lowered it, his expression looked flayed open. “I told her I loved her.”
“And she left anyway,” Steve said.
Bucky stared at him.
Steve did not soften.
That was the truth of it. Whatever words had passed between you in the night, whatever confessions or excuses or shattered apologies Bucky had thrown at the damage, the only thing that mattered now was that you had still walked out in the morning. You had chosen a locked door and a safehouse over one more hour in the Tower with him.
Because you had needed to.
Because staying had cost too much.
Bucky’s mouth twisted. “You think I don’t know she left?”
“I think you still don’t understand why she had to.”
That brought Bucky up short.
For the first time, Steve saw something like uncertainty move beneath the grief. Not ignorance, exactly – Bucky was not stupid – but that more dangerous thing people clung to after doing harm: the belief that if their remorse was large enough, it ought to count for more than it did.
Steve knew better.
“You cheated on her,” he said. “More than once, from the sound of it. You lied until she confronted you. And now you’re upstairs tearing apart furniture because Sam won’t tell you where she ran to get away from you.” His eyes moved over the room one last time. “What part of that are you hoping makes you look less guilty?”
Bucky went still.
Then, very quietly, “I’m not trying to look like anything.”
“No,” Steve said. “You’re trying not to feel it.”
That landed even harder than the rest.
Bucky’s face changed in a way Steve had rarely seen – something almost defenseless moving through it before anger slammed back over the top. “What do you want from me?”
The question came out harsher than it should have, but Steve heard the truth underneath it.
What script was this. What punishment. What was he supposed to say to make the room stop spinning.
Steve knew the answer.
“Nothing,” he said.
Bucky frowned as if he had heard wrong.
Steve held his gaze.
“I don’t want anything from you. She might have wanted honesty. She might have wanted you to stop before it got this far. She might have wanted one conversation where you didn’t let her be the last person to know what was happening to her own life.” His voice lowered. “But me? I don’t want a damn thing from you right now except for you to stop acting like smashing your room changes what you did.”
For a long moment neither man spoke.
Somewhere below them, the Tower hummed on in that expensive, inhuman way it always did, climate systems and hidden engines breathing through the walls like nothing catastrophic had happened inside one of its bedrooms. Steve found the sound obscene.
Bucky finally sank down onto the edge of what remained of the bedframe, not gracefully, not with any real decision, but like his legs had simply given out underneath him. The mattress shifted crookedly under his weight. He bent forward with both forearms braced on his thighs, blood dripping from his knuckles to the floor.
“I didn’t get to tell her it was over,” he said after a while, staring at the boards. “I thought–”
Steve cut him off immediately. “Don’t.”
Bucky’s head lifted.
“I don’t care what you thought that bought you.”
Bucky’s mouth shut.
Steve saw the old instinct there – to explain, to reconstruct the sequence, to lay out the exact order of decisions in a way that might make him feel less monstrous if not innocent. Steve had seen men do it after combat, after failed missions, after friendly fire, after any irreversible thing. They reached for chronology because morality had become too ugly to hold directly.
But there was nothing in the timeline that saved Bucky here.
Yesterday he had gone to end it with the other woman.
Last night you had confronted him.
This morning you had left.
If anything, the sequence made the whole thing more grotesque. Bucky had come home full of belated intentions, as if he might quietly close one ugly chapter and spare himself the public collapse, and then found out too late that you had already seen enough to know your life had changed under your feet.
Steve thought of Sam giving you the safehouse key. Thought of Natasha seeing enough, once, and keeping it in the sharp silence of herself. Thought of Tony learning it too and going cold with it. Thought of all the ways betrayal rippled outward when people liked to pretend it stayed contained between two bodies in one room.
“You don’t get points for stopping only because you were finally forced to look at yourself,” Steve said.
Bucky did not answer.
Steve stepped farther into the room until he stood close enough that Bucky would have had to look up to meet his eyes.
Slowly, Bucky did.
Steve had known that face in every age of its ruin. He knew the set of pain in the mouth, the stubbornness in the jaw, the devastation stripped naked in the eyes. He loved Bucky. Maybe that was why the anger felt so merciless. Stranger fury burned fast. This had roots.
“She left with one bag,” Steve said. “Sam told me that. She got the key for a safehouse and she left with one bag. That’s what your grief looks like on her side of the door.”
Bucky’s throat worked once.
Steve kept going.
“She didn’t wait for me to get back. Didn’t wait for Tony to weigh in. Didn’t turn it into some Tower-wide spectacle. She just got out.” The words sharpened. “Do you understand what that means?”
Bucky looked away.
Steve did not let him. “Look at me.”
It was not loud, but it carried command the way only Steve’s voice could when he let that part of himself show.
Bucky’s gaze snapped back.
“It means she didn’t trust herself to stay,” Steve said. “It means whatever happened last night left her thinking distance was the only thing that would save her from taking you back too soon or letting you talk over the damage. It means she had to protect herself from you.”
The last word hung there.
From you.
Bucky took it like a blow.
For a second, Steve thought he might lunge up out of the bedframe and hit something again, maybe him this time. There was enough wildness in the room for that. Enough shame. Enough blood in the air.
Instead Bucky sat very still.
When he finally spoke, his voice had gone low and ragged. “Where is she?”
Steve almost smiled, but there was no humor in it.
“I dunno. And I wouldn’t tell you if I did.”
Bucky’s face closed on itself. “Steve–”
“No.”
Just that.
Bucky stared at him, breathing hard.
Steve held the line without effort now. Downstairs, Sam had already made the right call. Steve would not undo it. Not for history. Not for loyalty. Not because Bucky looked half-dead with regret. The minute Bucky made this about finding you rather than facing what he had done, Steve knew exactly how dangerous that could become – not physically, not necessarily, but emotionally. Bucky had a way of taking up all the air in a room when he wanted absolution. You deserved at least one place where he could not get to you with that face and that voice and all the old gravity between you.
“You don’t get to chase her because you panicked,” Steve said.
“That’s not what this is.”
“It’s part of what this is.”
Bucky stood again too fast, the bedframe groaning behind him. “You think I’d hurt her?”
Steve did not answer right away.
That silence gutted the room.
Because of course Steve did not think Bucky would lay a hand on you. That was not the injury here and they both knew it. But there were other ways to hurt someone. Bucky knew that now better than anyone.
Finally Steve said, “I think you already did.”
Bucky recoiled.
Good, Steve thought again, and hated how easy that kept becoming.
The room fell quiet except for the faint drip of blood onto wood.
Steve drew a slow breath and felt the rage settle into something colder, steadier. This, more than shouting, was the dangerous version of his anger – the one that stopped performing and started deciding.
“You need to clean this up,” he said.
Bucky stared, uncomprehending.
“The room. Your hand. Yourself.” Steve glanced once more at the destruction. “Then you need to sit down somewhere and think very hard about whether any sentence coming out of your mouth is going to be about her pain or only your own.”
Bucky’s brows pulled together. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Steve looked at him for a long moment.
“It means that if the first thing you say, every time, is some version of I love her or I ended it or I feel sick or I didn’t mean it to keep going, then all you’re doing is putting yourself back in the center of a wound you created.”
Bucky opened his mouth.
Steve did not let him speak.
“You’re sorry,” he said. “I believe that. You’re ashamed. I believe that too. But don’t confuse those things with having done right by her even once in this.”
Bucky shut his mouth again.
Steve had no idea whether the words were getting through. Maybe not tonight. Maybe not while the adrenaline still burned too hot and the room still looked like an impact site. But he said them anyway because somebody had to, and because Sam had already done the decent thing by protecting your whereabouts. That left Steve with the uglier task.
To stand here. To look directly at Bucky. To refuse to make him feel cleaner than he was.
At last Bucky spoke, barely above a whisper. “You think she’s never coming back.”
Steve thought of the Tower downstairs with your absence already worked into it like a missing step. Thought of the kitchen you would not want to see. Thought of the hallways Sam said you had left behind with one bag and a face that had not slept. Thought of the safehouse in Brooklyn, small and quiet and away from all of this.
“I think,” Steve said carefully, “that whether she comes back to this building and whether she ever comes back to you are two very different questions.”
Bucky looked like he had been punched all over again.
Maybe he had. Only now the blows were landing where they belonged.
Steve moved toward the door.
Behind him, Bucky said, “Are you done?”
Steve stopped with one hand on the frame.
He did not turn immediately.
He looked instead at the smear of blood Bucky had left on the wall near the broken lamp, at the glass on the floor, at the wreckage of a room that had not asked to be made the stage for one man’s collapse. He thought of everything downstairs still waiting – the silence, the questions, the fact that he had come home from a week-long mission and stepped straight into the aftermath of a private disaster he had been nowhere near in time to stop.
Then he looked back over his shoulder.
“No,” he said. “But she was the one you should’ve been listening to last night.”
A sound broke behind him before Steve could open the door.
It was laughter.
Not real laughter. Nothing with life in it. Nothing that belonged in a human throat without setting every instinct on edge. It came out of Bucky low and cracked and wrong, like something rusted through at the hinges had finally given way. There was no humor in it. No amusement. Only the ugly edge of a man standing too close to the center of his own ruin and trying to make it uglier still.
Steve stopped with his hand on the handle.
For one brief second, he did not turn around. He only stood there in the wreck of the room, jaw locked, the cold metal of the handle pressed into his palm, and listened to that horrible half-laugh die into silence.
Then Bucky said, “I was going to ask her to marry me.”
The words dropped into the room like another piece of furniture thrown hard enough to splinter.
Steve shut his eyes.
He did not move. Did not speak. Did not even breathe properly for a second or two.
He had thought the worst of the night had already arranged itself in plain enough terms: the cheating, the confrontation, you leaving with a single bag, Bucky upstairs smashing holes into the walls because remorse had finally found him with nowhere left to run. That had already been ugly enough. More than ugly enough.
But that… That was something else.
Steve’s hand tightened on the door handle until the tendons in his wrist stood out hard beneath the skin. He felt the pressure in his jaw first, then in the back of his neck, every muscle in him drawing taut with the effort of not saying the first thing that came to mind.
Because the first thing that came to mind was not fit to say to his oldest friend. Not if he wanted to walk out of this room without making the wreckage worse.
He opened his eyes slowly and stared at the door in front of him instead of the man behind him.
For one impossible, involuntary instant, the image rose anyway: a ring box hidden somewhere in this room before Bucky tore it apart. A proposal imagined in whatever private hopeful shape Bucky had given it. Maybe a dinner. Maybe a quiet night. Maybe the same kitchen where you had confronted him, where whatever remained of your trust had finally broken open in your hands. Steve did not want the image, but it came all the same, obscene in its timing.
A proposal.
As if betrayal could be outrun by a bigger promise made afterward.
As if a future tense could erase what had already been done in the past.
Steve still said nothing.
He knew silence could wound harder than words sometimes. Right now it was the only thing stopping him from turning around and saying something so vicious it would stick between them for years.
Behind him, Bucky let out another of those broken, mirthless sounds and shifted against the ruined wall. Steve could hear the fabric of his shirt drag over plaster. Could hear the faint wet tack of blood on his knuckles.
“And now what, Stevie?” Bucky asked. “You gonna take your shot, finally?”
That did it.
Steve turned.
Slowly at first. Too slowly, maybe. The kind of controlled movement that was more dangerous than any sudden outburst because it meant the anger had passed through heat and settled into something dense, cold, and deliberate.
Bucky was still where Steve had left him, standing amid the devastation of his room, one hand bloodied, hair hanging half into his eyes, mouth twisted into something cruel and exhausted and self-destructive. But there was a new look on his face now, something meaner than grief. Meaner than shame. As if he had reached the point where if he could not drag the night backward, he could at least poison whatever was left in the room.
Steve had seen that look before too, on men cornered by their own guilt. The moment when pain stopped turning inward and started looking for another target.
His gaze fixed on Bucky’s face. “What exactly is that supposed to mean?”
Bucky’s laugh this time came shorter, rawer. “Don’t act like you don’t know.”
Steve did not blink. “Say it.”
There was danger in the room now, plain and hard-edged. Not the kind that came from weapons. Something older. Two men with too much history and too little patience left between them.
Bucky tipped his head back against the wall for a second, then looked at Steve through lashes heavy with sleeplessness and contempt – contempt for himself first, maybe, but no longer only that. “I know you always had a thing for her.”
The sentence hung there.
Steve felt it hit somewhere low and violent in his chest.
Not because it was wholly unrecognizable. He was honest enough with himself, if with no one else, to know that whatever he had felt for you had long since moved beyond simple fondness. He had buried that knowledge deep, given it no room to breathe, refused to examine it with any real care because you had been with Bucky and that should have been the end of it. Steve was not a boy anymore, whatever Bucky chose to imply with Stevie. He did not build secret hopes out of other people’s relationships. He did not stand around waiting for collapse.
But hearing it spoken like that – dragged into the light now, in this room, from Bucky’s mouth, with all the filth of the night on it – made it feel contaminated.
Made it feel like accusation.
Made it feel like the ugliest possible version of something Steve had spent months, maybe longer, making sure remained harmless.
The distance between them vanished in three strides.
By the time Bucky seemed to register that Steve had moved, Steve’s fist had already fisted itself in the front of his T-shirt.
The fabric bunched hard in Steve’s hand. He drove Bucky backward with enough force to send him slamming into the nearest intact section of wall. The impact knocked a dull thud through the room, rattling what remained of the cracked mirror. Plaster dust sifted down in a pale drift from the damage already done.
Bucky’s head struck first, then his shoulders. He made a rough sound in the back of his throat but did not fight the grip.
If anything, he leaned into it.
That was almost worse.
Steve got right up into his space, holding him there with one hand locked in his collar, his face close enough to see every sign of sleeplessness, every burst capillary in his eyes, every twitch of strain around his mouth. He could smell blood, sweat, broken plaster, and underneath it the bitter metallic scent of adrenaline long since gone sour.
“Do not,” Steve said.
His voice was low enough that Bucky had to listen for it.
“Do not ever make me into some opportunistic bastard standing around waiting for my best friend to screw up.”
Each word came out clipped and controlled, but rage ran beneath them like live current.
Bucky stared back at him. For a second something like surprise flickered over his face – not at the force, maybe, but at the sheer naked disgust in Steve’s voice. Then even that disappeared, and what remained was a darker, uglier expression than before. Something needling. Something almost hungry.
He wanted this.
Steve saw it all at once.
Not the accusation itself. Not the fight in any real sense. The punishment.
There was something in Bucky’s eyes now that looked almost relieved to have finally drawn a clean target. As if he had spent the last hours drowning in emotions too large and shapeless to bear – shame, panic, grief, self-hatred – and had reached the point where a fist across the mouth would be easier. Simpler. A wound he could understand. A pain with edges.
He wanted Steve to hit him.
Wanted the physical blow, the proof, the release of it.
Maybe because broken knuckles and split lips hurt less cleanly than whatever image kept replaying in his head of you leaving the Tower without looking back.
Maybe because being struck by Steve would give him a punishment he could survive instead of the one he had earned and could not control.
Steve saw all of that in a single brutal flash, and it disgusted him more than the accusation had.
His lip curled very slightly. “You’re pathetic.”
The word landed harder than a punch.
Bucky’s expression changed.
For the first time, the viciousness faltered. Not gone, but pierced.
Steve held him pinned a heartbeat longer, staring at him with absolutely no effort to disguise what he felt. Disgust. Anger. A profound, cold contempt for the way Bucky was trying to drag everyone else into the mud with him now that he had finally sunk deep enough to feel it.
Then Steve released him.
Bucky hit the wall once more on the rebound and straightened too fast, jaw tightening, chest heaving. Steve took one step back, then another, forcing space between them before instinct overrode restraint. He turned away sharply and headed for the door.
He got two steps before Bucky spoke again.
“So it won’t bother you, then,” he said, voice rough and poisonous, “to pick up what’s left.”
Steve stopped dead.
There were some lines a man crossed in ignorance, and some he crossed because he wanted blood.
This was the second kind.
For one second the entire room seemed to contract around Steve’s spine. Every muscle in his back drew tight. His hand flexed once at his side so hard the fingers ached. He could feel his pulse in his throat now, hard and heavy, the old dangerous urge rising fast – the one that did not care about regret until later.
He turned so abruptly the broken glass near his boot crunched underfoot.
“Shut up, Bucky.”
His voice cracked across the room like a shot.
Bucky’s head lifted.
Steve took one step toward him, then stopped himself there by sheer force. His face had gone hard in a way very few people ever saw. Not righteous. Not noble. Just furious.
“Shut your goddamn mouth.”
The silence after that was enormous.
Bucky looked at him, breathing hard, but he did not speak.
Maybe he saw something in Steve’s expression then that finally registered as real danger. Not because Steve was Captain America. Not because he was stronger, steadier, more controlled. But because they had known each other too long for Bucky to mistake the difference between anger and the brink.
Steve stood there for one heartbeat longer, maybe two, and felt every possible next move line up in front of him.
He could hit him.
He could say the cruelest thing he knew.
He could drag this into some older, bloodier shape of brotherhood where men broke each other open because they had run out of language.
He wanted, with a suddenness that shocked him, to do at least one of those things.
And that was exactly why he had to leave.
So he did.
He turned on his heel and strode to the door before Bucky could force one more word into the room. His hand closed on the handle, yanked it open hard enough that it slammed against the outer wall, and for one second the cool, quiet hallway lay before him like another world entirely.
He stepped through without looking back.
Behind him, the wrecked room remained silent.
Steve pulled the door shut with more force than necessary. The latch clicked, then settled. It was a small sound after everything else, absurdly neat.
He stood there in the hallway for a second with his breathing too high in his chest and his fists clenched so tight his own nails bit into his palms. The controlled mask he wore so easily for everyone else felt thin as paper right then. He could still hear Bucky’s voice. I was going to ask her to marry me. You gonna take your shot, finally? Pick up what’s left.
The last one stayed.
It stayed because of what it implied. Because of the way it reduced you – your pain, your choice, your dignity – to debris. To aftermath. To something broken another man might claim.
The thought made Steve feel physically sick.
He pushed a hand over his face and kept walking before he could change his mind and go back in there.
The hallway seemed too bright after the room. Too polished. The Tower’s hidden systems hummed softly through the walls, indifferent as ever. Somewhere below, a lift moved between floors. Somewhere farther off, a door opened and shut. The world had resumed its shape while Steve’s pulse still pounded like he had just stepped off a battlefield.
He kept going.
Not because he was calm. Not because the anger had passed. But because he knew himself well enough to understand the difference between restraint and weakness, and tonight leaving was the only thing keeping those two from being confused.
By the time he reached the end of the corridor, his jaw hurt from how hard he had been clenching it.
He did not look back once.
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