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Vol. 1 - Soft Boy Secrets

I think one of my biggest soft boy secrets is that I’m not actually very complicated, I just look like I am because my brain comes with too many tabs open and at least three of them are playing music.

Deep down I’m mostly made of little things. Cartoons. Blankies. Plushies. Snacks. Being called cute and immediately forgetting how to be normal. Little forehead kisses that somehow fix a whole day. The very specific joy of getting cosy and feeling like the world has been turned down from Very Loud to Soft Blue Nightlight Mode.

I like being silly. I like being looked after. I like when someone notices the tiny things, like when I’m getting quiet because my brain is doing buffering noises, or when I’m trying very hard to be a brave grown-up but secretly need to be wrapped in a blanket burrito and spoken to like a sleepy little prince who has done his best.

I’m a nerdy little thing too. I like games, fantasy worlds, sci-fi adventures, Disney magic, cute creatures, ridiculous lore, and making up kingdoms where plushies have government positions. Somewhere in my head there is always a tiny council meeting happening, and Harvey Hippo is probably in charge of snacks.

I think my softness is one of the truest things about me. Not bad soft. More like....favourite hoodie soft. Like a safe corner. Like a plushie that’s been loved so much it has become important.

I can be shy. I can be wobbly. I can be funny in the middle of being nervous because apparently my survival instinct is “make a joke and hide behind a cushion.” I want to make people smile. I want to make someone’s heart do that tiny “oh no he’s adorable” squeeze. I want to be seen as someone worth being gentle with.

Sometimes I feel like I’m too much, too needy, too weird, too full of feelings, too babyish, too crinkly, too not like everyone else. But then I remember maybe I’m not too much. Maybe I’m just built for a different kind of love. One with more patience. More giggles. More reassurance. More “come here, silly boy.”

So yes. Soft boy secret number one:

I am probably at my happiest when I feel small, safe, wanted, and just a little bit ridiculous.

And if you are nice to me, I may offer you a biscuit from the royal snack pouch.

But I will be shy about it.