novel / killer

“Useful is subjective.” Netzach chimes back with a furrowed brow, all slumped shoulders and slow, nervous energy. They’re sort of vibing off of this stranger right now, taking her energy and letting it flow through them. “I mean, it would be pretty fucked up, but like, who am I to gauge the upper limit of terrible things that you can do to other people.” They’re not all that used to people living long, and it puts a strange skew on things. 

“It’s not too bad for me, but if it freaks you out, I get that.” Very insightful, thank you. “Are you like, gonna be good?” 

“I-I-I don’t think there’s anything subjective about the fact that an unnecessary comment like that isn’t useful here...!” Nor is it helpful to see an energy alike hers start to emerge— not to be hypocritical or anything, but someone’s got to be level headed, right? Toko definitely doesn’t trust herself to be that person right now, nervously chewing on her bottom lip. “No, I suppose that it’s pretty hard to judge when we don’t know much about these people, but...for now I think I’d like to hope for the best. We can be disappointed by th-the truth later.” An inevitability, she thinks, to be disappointed by people ( human nature is awful, isn’t it ). It’s not her hope that author clings onto, after all, not her way of thinking; but it’s probably going to help her keep a little more sane.

  Somehow, this kept happening to her. She did not know who she pissed off to warrant this bad luck, but she continued to find herself in situations that reminded her of her lonely time in the dark Abyss – so when the lights suddenly went out, the power lines likely buffeted by the storm outside, by instinct she reached for something to hold onto in the darkness– which happened to be the arm of someone also caught frightened by the situation. She pulled away almost as quickly as she grabbed on, but it was enough to (understandably) startle the other girl.

“ N-Nothing. Forget that just happened. ” How humiliating. The last thing she wanted was to appear afraid in front of someone else– especially someone who seemed just as unnerved as she was. “ Huh? Am I ‘answerin’? ” What does that even mean? Did the girl bonk her head? “ –Ugh, never mind that!! How do I make the lights come back on?! ”

She’s powered through being in the dark before, and increasingly so in recent times, when she does not feel reminded of those awful times as a child; but that is not here or now, so it is genuine uneasiness for her to remain like this. Alright, so maybe it doesn’t help that Toko has to add a fear of ghosts to her list of dislikes, which is probably the other thing that really sets her off when she’s suddenly grabbed like that. Not that she wouldn’t have been grouchy towards strangers anyways, but that’s besides the point. 

Too positive, too cheery— absolutely the opposite of what their host is like, and a lot more akin to what Jack themselves is like. Toko would surely hate this kind of girl, but Jack? They find her quite likable: which is to say, they find her fun to tease. If they can find something to tease her about is a completely different matter. 

Well now, this is interesting, isn’t it? Although Jack’s a little surprised to find that they’re in control at the moment, a look of their surroundings helps key them in as to why. Whatever, a little darkness is nothing to them, so if Miss Gloom and Doom wants to sulk for now, she can. No skin off their back, they’re fine with just keeping an eye on things; get an idea of things that aren’t communicated through sparse notes. 

unsurprisingly, being gently brushed off like this doesn’t dissuade them at all. the look on her face is hardly inviting, the tone of her voice a not-so-subtle hint that they should be on their way, but hedge doesn’t budge; if anything, she gives them an inch and they take a mile, hopping up onto the bench beside her with a little oof of effort.

“you can just ignore me if you want!” yeah, like that’s going to happen with them chirping in her ear. “but i was curious what you were writing! and i haven’t seen you around here before, are you new? oh, are you a–journal-list?” they have to fish for the word, say it wrong anyway. “are you writing about the news?”

and considering, considering how things are going in terra right now, between the darkness and the beasties, there’s surely no shortage of news to report on. neither of them should be out, most likely, but what other choice do they have? shut themselves up in their apartments and wait out the apocalypse?

yeah, no chance.

No lucky break on her part, huh. Well, luck was never her thing— and they remind her of him, a bit, like that, so she’s hardly surprised to see movement closer to her from her peripherals. It’d be easy to push them off the bench, if she was really bothered by it, but for now she’ll let them be.

A roll of her eyes accompanies that statement; they really don’t have a sense of awareness of themself, do they? A soft hmph, and a grumble of, “You really don’t get it, do you? You’re th-the kind of person who’d start talking in a library, I bet.” She has half a mind to tell them to hush in a much harsher manner, but, well. Still, Toko eases up on them a little when they take an interest in her writing— only a little though, she doesn’t doubt they’re only asking to use it against her. Make fun of her, or something; you can’t trust that kindness to be entirely genuine. “Is that supposed to be an insult? I would never stoop so low...I can’t stand that stuff. They just report on the kind of stuff that catches people’s eyes, n-n-not bothering if they’ve got all their facts straight or not— some of it is more fitting in a gossip column than a newspaper article!” Alright, maybe her distaste might come from a bit of a personal place, but really: if you were going to write fiction, write it and be proud, dammit! 

That aside, she doesn’t mind setting the record straight by correcting them about what she’s actually doing. “...Anyways, this isn’t for the news. I’m just taking notes about what’s going on, for m-my own sake. Nothing that interesting.” Technically not incorrect..especially Future Foundation makes her write up a report on it when she gets back home, but she doubts that this would stir up much interest for them. Probably. Given that she’s yet to hear a lick about despair here, she think she’s probably safe from that, but that’s not saying much.

“Maybe we’re going to die.” A blunt statement, if not a bit unnecessary. “Or something cool’s gonna happen.” 

Oh no? Oh no. She doesn’t even need to see Servant’s obnoxious face to recognize him— even if there are some notable differences here ( and she doesn’t mean that just physically ), she doesn’t think anyone else would have hair as stupid as his. Toko should’ve known it was too much of a blessing that he’d left Towa City; she would have liked to go without that knowledge a while longer. Especially when she’s got people that she’s actually looking for: it’s awful luck to have found him here instead. But whose luck? ( Hers. It’s definitely her poor luck. ) She might have to pay more attention to her room’s belongings for a while— she has a feeling they are definitely going to try to get back into making their usual scissors knowing that he’s here, not that she could honestly blame Jack. Neither of them particularly like him, after all.

...Maybe some of her contempt for Servant is unwarranted. You are the one who agreed to trade one life for another, Komaru to save Togami. She had been no better than those she accused of as being victims; she too was a coward who lacked the courage to change things with her own hands. Was is the operative word here; but..it’s hard to be strong on her own, when she’s grown used to having support. Not that Fukawa wants to be a coward either, and that’s probably what gives her the strength to acknowledge him ( because really, it’s probably inevitable, so she might as well get it over with ). Even if the scissors she has now aren’t very useful ( yet ), it makes her feel a little better knowing that she has them on her person. For their usage. Just in case.

( It still remains that some of her anger is justified— but since when have you loathed anyone more than she has herself? )

What an absolute character she’s been saddled with the presence of. A real brat— he definitely can’t be that much younger than her, yet the way he acts might suggest otherwise. A real shame, considering what a pretty face he has: too bad his attitude doesn’t match one bit. “N-No, I already told you, I’m not...” Fingers raised to pinch the bridge of her nose, as a loud sigh leaves her lips. Is there actually a point in trying to argue here? Maybe if she plays along, he’ll get bored and piss off? Author think that might be the better plan, but...you hate playing along to other people’s scripts too. She writes her own for a reason.

What’s that look for? She was willing to ignore the staring initially because, heh, when aren’t people watching her movements? Ugly. Annoying. Killer. The forgettable black sheep— even after all this time...you might be in a new place, but you’ll never be rid of those ghosts. So it’s hard to not take offense to being looked at like...that. Of course, to most people, that’s just a pretty blank stare, so whether there’s another layer to that expression, or if Toko’s just overthinking things is unclear.

For goodness sake. She’s barely been here for any time at all, and she can already feel a migraine coming on. And she thought the academy had been full of fools. As if to make things worse, the suddenly dimmed lighting just leaves her more...uneasy, to say the least, though she does her best to not make that much too obvious. Which is easier given that one of the room’s current occupants seem more agitated than herself. “Wh-What are you doing?” Lips press together, teeth clenched; every bit of her seeming tensely wound up. Though if that’s because of the sudden change in lighting or her normal demeanor remains to be seen. 

Ugh. This stranger seems pretty...youthful, like she’s without much care in the world. Those type of people seriously piss her off— the ones that seem well off in the world and pretend to act nice to those less fortunate for the sake of their own ego. It leaves a bitter taste in Toko’s mouth. “No, I don’t need help from s-s-someone like you.” Well, less of a need, more of a does not want help. Does she seem nescient or something, all out of sorts here? Because she’s not. Seriously, she wants to tug on her hair out of frustration. Someone like her...must be taking pity on you for being new. That’s definitely got to be it. Well, at least, its easier to push someone like her away, if she thinks of it that way.

( She should try and reel in some of those thoughts before she lashes out too badly— she really can’t help it, sometimes...it’s complicated )

It’s been a little while since she’s really had the chance to put pen to paper— days in Towa City are long and don’t always leave her with the time nor energy to really write ( not that anything like deadlines have ever been of concern to Toko, so as long as she has ideas to work with ). Nor is it really among her top priorities here, so it makes sense that what she’s currently working on aren’t so much story ideas, as much as they are observational notes about this place: not just for her own sake, but theirs too...provided Jack can be bothered to take the time to read the notes she leaves behind for them.

ah yes, back to intros where i have to warn about content. this is your gentle reminder that. hahah oh boy there’s a lot of heavy content here. i know i put it in my app but this is your reminder to please read the rules. particularly because i do get canon divergent in dealing with the way i portray toko’s DID. 

aka sometimes you just have to look canon in the eye and say fuck you because mental illnesses are handled poorly.

also i just use localized names but you’re free to use touko / syo / etc. 

a published author! they are also a former serial killer. very normal. a bit of a violent streak still, but they will not murder.

she has marks for her kill count on her thigh. normal things.

we do not talk about dr1. or drae. not because i don’t like them ( i have a complicated love hate for dr in general. despair girls sure is a. game huh ); toko just doesn’t like thinking about trauma. so while obviously she will talk about it it’s a very touchy subject.

they can kick ass in heels? respect. 

cares about like. three people and a stinkbug?  

oh to be a girl who can and will protect another girl even if it’d cost her her life,

is there a healthy mindset behind that? well, maybe.

socialization is not her forte. seriously. besides social anxiety, toko is...somewhat hypocritical and can be very unpleasant to deal with most of the time because she’s not used to being treated like a normal human being by most people and assumes the worst at any given moment  because she has low self esteem and everything else that has ever happened in her life  :|