all the swords are enchanted to be gay

I see this one like every year and I still dont know the characters involved but I love it, it’s not Halloween without the pumpkin dragons

:O

skyrim demastered argonian is the nicest looking videogame character of all time

6 hour long fight at this year’s Tolkien Historical Society Conference about whether Middle Earth has bees, before I reminded everyone that the Rohirrim had mead halls, which means they had honey, which means there’s bees. Everyone sighed and the conference continued. This is the life of a Tolkien scholar. 

It’s what he would have wanted

op why did you wait six hours 

It’s SO obvious that some of y’all are incredibly mad that my wizard hat is bigger and supremely balanced.

okay… i can still see the folds on your wizard robe… iron it.

Now I know you ain’t talking with ya dusty ass grimoire. That bad boy is held together with scotch tape, spit, and faith. Helpful hint: you want the spines of your enemies to break, not your magical tomes.

no cause it’s really cute hearing that from you when last i checked your grimoire isn’t being passed down from generation to generation. i know you got it from walmart with your dollar store lookin ass staff. you can keep your hint.

(shows up 15 minutes late covered in swamp slime and black lipstick marks) sorry I’m late I had a meeting

Honestly very happy to see this, especially the part that emphasises that skin tone has nothing to do with the likeliness of developing vitiligo. You can be as white as snow and have it.

found family but they're all absolutely horrendous people

Kinda gay to make a wanted poster... why do you want that man? So you can hold him?

[STRIKES MY WIZARD STAFF ON THE GROUND AND IMMEDEATELY DUCKS BEHIND A ROCK]

[THERES A FLASH OF LIGHT AND THE RITUAL CHAMBER IS COVERED IN SPAGHETTI]

[I OPEN MY GRIMOIRE AND MAKE ANOTHER TALLY UNDER THE COLUMN LABELLED "SPAGHETTI"]

[THE OTHER COLUMN IS MARKED "SUMERIAN HARVEST GOD" AND IS COMPLETELY BLANK]

[ITS PESTO SAUCE THIS TIME]

[I START A NEW COLUMN IN THE GRIMOIRE]