Prizmo von Arschpuppe.

Druid: is there a place to buy clothes?

Me, DM: yeah the monk is at the tailor right now.

Druid: would they have leather items?

Me: nope, you’d have to head to the leatherworker.

The Druid strides in to the leatherworkers with confidence. I assumed he was going to buy armour.

Druid, ic: can I commission a piece, good friend? Something make of criss-crossing straps, covering the upper body and framing the assets for aesthetic appeal. Preferably with studs, and metal rings.

Monk, ooc: wait. This is a bondage harness, isn’t it.

Context: the party is getting lectured by the npc half orc first mate of a ship they’re on

Rogue 1: I want to steal his wallet.

DM: Okay, roll sleight of hand.

Rogue 2: Wait I also wanna steal his wallet.

Rogue 3: Yeah so do I!

DM: Fine, all of you roll and tell me what you get.

*rogue 3 rolls highest*

DM: Rogues 1 and 2, you both reach into the first mate’s pocket at the same time. Your fingers touch within his back pocket and linger for a moment. You feel… what is it, some kind of energy? You both blush. The first mate grabs both your wrists.

First Mate: Are you two serious? Can we not do this right now?