I made you a cookie!!! ^-^

im not complaining because i expect you to fix anything im complaining to bond with you. omggggg find your hater spirit

give a man a NEW LAMBORGHINI and he'll SLEEP for a day. teach a man KNOWLEDGE and he'll DRIVE UP HERE IN THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

they dont tell you this but you carry your upset younger self in you like a parasitic twin

so the antichrist is like underfell jesus

gender non conforming people being mocked for their whole lives for not looking like their birth gender until they finally say ok yeah youre right im not only for everyone to act shocked. neurodivergent people being mocked for their whole lives for acting outside the norm until they finally say yeah i am actually diagnosed in a way that makes me act outside the norm only for everyone to act shocked

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

bro, go to Jimmy John's and ask for the Fetty Wop meal. The looks on their faces won't change and they'll give you a buffalo chicken wrap and buffalo chicken flavored chips with a drink of your choice.

just learned from my friend who works at Jimmy John's that the parentheses in the meal name caused a nationwide software glitch for 24 hours that made it so the order was free. Her store had to cancel hundreds of orders that day.

Fetty Wap infinite meal glitch at Jimmy John's

the important thing to remember about corporations is that they are so so stupid

this post brought to you by my ex employer claiming that they can't have done disability discrimination against me because there's no proof I had PTSD in January 2025, although they do admit I had it both four months before and six months after that

asked my lawyer if this was the dumbest thing she'd ever seen and she gave me the ol' dead eyed stare that has watched a thousand civilisations fall

you don't understand the only way to keep children safe is to isolate them from everyone except the people who are statistically most likely to abuse them