close up the curtains

this isn't for anybody to see

but if i were certain

i would've kept this only for me

if i could rip out every single thought inside my head

is it certain i would worsen, words would calcify instead?

wrong and overbearing, think i'd rather be caught dead

can't pick up on cues although i feel as though i've begged

do you hear me, do my words just fall out of your head?

i really wanted or needed my thoughts to go unsaid

but that's not for me to hold

nor to keep.

is this about you?

i don't know, why don't you tell me?

'cause it's about to

be and i'll get off scot-free

chess and checkers never been my favorite lot of games

much prefer the ones that play with human lives and brains

puzzle piece together all my societal woes

social airs and graces, social faces, social throes

do you hear me, delusional thoughts are being fed

someone break the silence so i don't feel so misled

kill my raw emotion, let composure take its stead

tearing out this heart, my god, it bleeds and it bled

do you hear me, do you think i'd be better off dead?

i really think so too, but that's the part that goes unsaid

that's all for me to hold

and to keep

it's not about you

it's more a snapshot of a time

when i thought about the number two