I often wonder what love truly is. Why do we fall in love with people? Why does a very particular person catch our attention? How do we decide we want to spend the rest of our lives with them? Why does their touch send butterflies in our stomach? Why, when looking in their eyes, we see our future? Why does every word they say mesmerize us?

Title: Civic Duty

Civility sits in his high castle.

Atop a throne of silver he leads.

Rhetoric is his one true vassal.

He caters to the kings unending needs.

Violent are the men thin and lean.

Hoisting the prince on a guillotine.

They knaw on bones of long dead fish

They have but just one true wish.

For their hunger their hate to be seen.

Violent are the men thin and lean.

The palace door is but machet.

To the men its simply in the way.

They tear it down bit by bit.

They havnt the time nor will to quit.

Their intention? to scare and kill the king.

Prince Poise's head is just the thing.

First fall the guards and then the vassal.

To the men this coup is no hassle.

"The kings mind is infested with weeds

Time too find out what color he bleeds."

The cry rings forth a clarion call.

With a single message to one and all.

It never matters how well you mean.

My friend and I have started saying "it's going to be okay" to each other whenever we're talking about the things stressing us out. We'll be on the phone for two hours, sighing and complaining, when one of us goes, "hey, it's going to be okay, though." It's kind of like an unspoken rule that we can't ever disagree with that statement, so while we say it gently, what we really mean is, "it's going to be okay whether you like it or not!"

Saying it so often has caused it to kind of melt into my brain. A wave of nerves will hit me (because of that internship, for example, and the fact that my small fragile uncertain self will be the one to go), and I'll have to say it. It's going to be okay. Even if I have to start from where I am, with who I am. If I'm unable to have faith in myself now, then I must have faith in who I'm becoming, and in the fact that who I'm becoming is still me (and therefore I am somehow inherently worthy already).

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.