That Picture Perfect Face

“yeah well they’re okay at first until they turn into the aggressive asshole drunks after one too many then i’ve actually gotta deal with them.”

“that’s not a problem I generally deal with myself. I do have a taser though, just in case.”

“Oh! Alright, sounds fair. My apologies, I’m usually that annoyingly attentive friend when my friends end up drunk so I guess I’m always ready to step up if needed.”

“Actually a sober buddy might be a good idea, someone to stop me from eating literally everything in my kitchen.”

“As the more responsible of the two of us, I should immediately come over and help you test the drinks. Give honest opinions, you know.”

“that is a fraudulent claim, I am way more responsible, but you should definitely come over for drinks. Your taste is impeccable and I need to gush about Chad.”

“Just exactly how drunk do you plan on getting? Is this a way of saying you want someone to come over and chill with you?”

“Extremely, and no. You can come over if you want but I’m doing this either way.”

“Take it from a seasoned pro.. ‘Get better’ at your job at parties with friends. Doing it on your own ain’t never led to a good time.”

“I’ve enjoyed it so far. The problem is of course the next day when I wake up and wish I hadn’t.”

“I feel like continuing to mix drinks once you’re drunk gets into dangerous territory.”

“Maybe for ameteurs, I’m a professional.”

I may or may not have just walked out and quit my job. 

“Holy shit, you did what?”

“i mean - i don’t think it’s cute no matter how old you are.”

“That’s the boring answer.”

“I mean as long as you’re doing it responsibly, I guess there isn’t anything wrong with it. What did you end up drinking?”

“I am the most responsible drinker. I’ve made about 5 martini’s and 4 other random drinks that I’ve found online.”

“only if you have a designated driver who’s keeping an eye on you, and oh look at that you have a volunteer right here.”

“Don’t need a driver, I am drinking at home, but there are other duties you could volunteer for.”

“As long as you do it safely, I think it’s pretty okay? Do you need a sober buddy to make sure you get home okay?”

“The drinking happened at home! no sober buddy needed.”

“Um? Of coursies. If I’m not buzzed by like at least noon then I’ve probably been body snatched,” Margot said matter-of-factly. “But if you don’t want to get totally shit faced before 3pm, you better cough up a free cocktail for yours truly.”

“Yeah but you’re like, not a role model so not the best example.”

“i mean - maybe not, coco.”

“It was for work, Asher.”

“I think it depends on why you’re day drunk and how much you drink.”

“I am day drunk because I was practicing for work and... not enough to send me to the hospital but enough that I should not leave the house.”