Recently I couldn’t fall asleep again. I feel uncomfortable. Things feel wrong and unresolved. I haven’t felt this way for a while. Maybe I should blame it all on the thrilling and perverted manga I’ve been reading. I feel bloated, tired, and unsettled.
When I close my eyes, I think about things. Big things. I want to end things. Start new things. Just things taking over and stirring up. I think about the man kneeling in front of the LED screen in the shape of a cross. I think about the man jerking off for hours to three huge characters written on the wall that says pretty young girl. I think about Iran. Those beautiful, lively faces buried in blood. Then myself.
I’m having a fever and I’m not liking it. Three painkillers and a little bit of Xan. I’m a good girl. I just want some sleep. My body is feeling a little better. It felt very hot before, like something was burning inside me.
I’m waiting for the Xan to take control over me. Waiting for it to put an end to this nonsense rambling. Waiting for it to make me feel safe again.
He’s sleeping soundly right next to me, and I’m not liking it. He feels far away from me. He’s not home to me tonight. I want to leave. Leave this reality for the dream world, where I could temporarily escape. I always have great dreams…
I’m feeling the Xan. I’m hoping for a wet dream tonight.
andulkaphoto
gummygunk
dededos
janainaart
turnnoffyourmind
